Wishing You...

I'm just hopping on quickly tonight, before we head out the door to ring in the new year with our neighbours to wish all of you a safe and happy 2010. It's hard to believe that 2009 will be over in the matter of a few hours. I don't know how it's possible, but this year seems to have flashed by even faster than last year.

I love the promise of a new year. Shiny new with no blemishes yet; like a blank page, just waiting to be filled in, and this year, we've got some good things coming up. This past year was a challenge for me in many ways, and 2010 won't be without it's challenges, but I feel good about where we are in our lives right now and am looking forward to 2010 more openly and with less trepidation than I have in the past few years.

So, a question: do you set goals/resolutions? If you do, what are your main ones for this year? I'll try to post mine tomorrow.

Whatever you do to ring in the new year, even if it means going to bed at 8:30 (not that I've ever done that... ahem. Oh... um... ok, so maybe once or twice) I hope you have fun.

It's a Wrap

Another holiday over and done with. Weeks of planning, shopping, wrapping, cooking done in a matter of a day. Hours, actually. But it was good, very good this year.

I was able to convince Mouse to go back to sleep for a few hours after she woke up at 4:50 am, I, however, could not be convinced to go back to sleep. Oh well. We all “got up” at 7:45. The girls were so much fun this year – running around and squealing over the gifts. Delightedly exclaiming after each thing “It’s ‘zactly what I WANTED!”. The only thing that threw Mouse for a loop was a (much needed) metronome for her piano practice. She wasn’t sure what it was at first, and after a bit of explanation she exclaimed “OOOHH! A ticky-tocky thing! It’s ‘zactly what I WANTED!”. Too funny.

We had very few duds, and pretty much all hits this year. The primo toy is Baboo’s Strawberry Shortcake Café, which I bought out of desperation because I had no other ideas. They have both played for hours with this. Mouse loves her Pixos, Chixos. And we got some fun games as well. A winner has been Zingo – a take on Bingo. Baboo calls it ZigZag, but we all know what she means. The pink and purple Wii remotes are also very awesome. The girls love having their own remotes.

We’re not overwhelmed with new stuff and have a few things that will last us all year, which is great. A good balance, I think.

Dinner turned out awesome. I’m definitely getting the turkey down. Delicious. And if you’ve never tried a Butter Braid pastry – you must find a fundraiser to buy it from. Oh yum. They’re good.

Unfortunately, after Christmas shopping was a bit of a bomb, as there was very, very little to choose from, if anything at all. Oh well. And also unfortunately, we sent both of Hubster’s parents home sick. In the middle of a blizzard. Sigh. I’ve since bleached every piece of washable fabric I could get my hands on, including pillows, so hopefully, next time we have company, I won’t feel as guilty if anyone goes home sick.

This week, we’re looking forward to some playdates with friends, chilling out a bit, playing with our new things, and playing in our newly fallen snow. We’ve got plans with some friends for a casual New Year’s Eve, and it’ll be a good end to this interesting year.

The Children Were Nestled..

All snug in their beds. Mostly. I think they’re still awake and probably levitating 6 inches off the mattress with excitement, but the girls are in bed and we’re waiting to be “Santa”. It may take a while, but that’s ok. I remember what it was like to try to fall asleep on Christmas Eve. It was HARD. I'm excited for them. This is so much fun!

We are ready for Christmas. It was nice just having today to relax. We were not running around like crazy. We were able to enjoy today and just relax. We’ve really had an excellent month all truth be told. Every day we’ve done something fun to prepare for Christmas. The chocolate advent calendars in the morning with the little activity cards kept the anticipation at an even keel all month. And it was fun. Nothing seemed really overwhelming. It worked and I’m glad. I feel like I’m going into tomorrow pretty calm and peaceful. I like that.

Today, Hubster had the day off and the girls were absolutely bouncing off the walls with excitement. The day was shaping up to be rainy and cold, so we took that bouncy energy to one of those indoor bounce-house playground things. It was just what Santa ordered. Those girls bounced, slid and ran for 2 hours. The rest of the day was pretty quiet, just puttering around the house, but it was a nice day.

The only sad part is that despite me begging the universe, my poor mother in law is sick. Pretty sick. Bad sore throat and now it’s spreading to her ear. She’s slept most of today and joined us tonight for our traditional finger food Christmas Eve dinner, but she’s still not feeling well. What is it with people getting sick at my house? Good grief!? My Mum got sick here a few weeks ago and last year SHE was the one who was lying at death’s door with a horrible stomach bug. This year it’s my mother in law. I hope she's better by tomorrow.

Anyway, the cookies and milk (with apples, carrots and celery and a bottle of water for the reindeer in case they are hungry and thirsty) are set out for Santa, The Night Before Christmas read, Santa tracked at the NORAD site, cuddles and reassurances that Santa IS coming tonight, kids tucked and retucked into bed and now us grown-ups are just waiting to finish up the Santa duties. I hear crunching in the living room, so I suspect that Hubster and his Dad are making short work of the goodies. At least part of the job is done.

I hope that the magic of Christmas (if you celebrate) is alive in your house tonight. It sure is at ours.

Ready for the Man in Red

We’ve survived crazy week and made it to the weekend in one piece, with the house ready for Christmas and guests. The only souvenir (I cannot spell that word, thank you spell checker) I have from a week of pretty crappy sleep and going 120mph is a weird half cold. I’ve been half sinus congested, kind of tight in the chest, with kind of a cough. Sort of sick but, not really bad and really just bad enough to feel kind of crappy. On the advice of a friend, I’ve been drinking orange juice with cayenne pepper in it, hoping to get this cold moving out of here. Though my nose is starting to drip a bit, mostly I’m just feeling a lot of burning.

And I’m praying to any god that will listen that I DO NOT pass this onto Josh’s folks who are visiting here this week. I don’t think I can deal with guilt of sending more family members home sicker than dogs.

However, school is done for 2 weeks. The presents are bought, wrapped, shipped if required and neatly tucked under the tree. Baking done and delivered to teachers, friends, neighbors. Santa has been visited and has received “the list”. Cards are sent. Groceries bought, turkey procured. Family safely arrived. We’ve even had a dusting of snow which thrills the girls to no end, so all in all, things are ready for Christmas. I’m sure that something last minute will come up, but for now, I’m happy to just enjoy this time.

It’s nice to know that some things have gone well, when other things – I’m glaring in your direction mortgage company and bank… are not going so well. To say that I’m frustrated, is well, a bit of an understatement. I guess it means my holiday spirit is being tempered by real life, to a degree. However…..

My mantra is “peace and joy, peace and joy”. Breathe in, breathe out, even if it means through gritted teeth some of the time.

Perpetually Dropping Balls

Wow. I don’t think I’ve gone this long without posting before. It’s not that I didn’t have anything to say, I’m sure I did… but….but…. (insert excuse here).

Things have been busy here. My folks arrived shortly after Thanksgiving weekend and well, when you get my Mum and I together, chances are we’re going to be hectic. It’s amazing how much we can cram into a week. This time, I had her help me decorate for the holidays. Our pathetic 15 year old decorations were starting to look at little sad, so we cooked up a theme and got down to work, shopping, planning and arranging and then futzing. We’re good at that. All in all it looks good. I kept the old stuff I love, got some new things and it all looks very festive and sparkly and festive.

We did a lot of running around, baking, shopping, talking, card addressing and then of course, there was still school and piano and Pilates and meals and LIFE that had to be squeezed in all of that. It was wonderful having them here, and maybe it was because of everything that’s happened over the last few months, but this time seemed so precious to me, even though my Mum gets sick 9.9 times out of 10 when she comes and my Dad ends up stuck with the girls many times so my Mum and I can talk and shop and putter around. It wasn’t a hugely exciting visit; it was mostly just day to day living when they were here, but I’m grateful for everything they do for me, for us and love watching them with the girls. They’re heading down to Sunnyville and for the first time in a long time I don’t know when I’m going to see them again. It may not be until my brother’s wedding next August and that just makes me immeasurably sad.

The girls started their Advent calendars, what I like to refer to as the “Christmas chocolate vitamin”, bound to fortify us through the holidays. Hmmm, maybe they should make that for adults with a little “fortification” tucked inside? Nothing gets those girls out of bed in the morning faster than the thought of chocolate before breakfast.

When unpacking the Christmas decorations, I discovered an Advent “mitten/hat” string that I found on sale last year, so I decided to write up little cards with “something Christmasy to do” each day on it. The girls each take a turn pulling out a card and we read it and then later incorporate it into our day. It seemed like a fun idea at the time, but it’s kind of turned out to be harder than I thought. Some ideas have been easy/obvious and with having a few functions coming up I’ve been able to fill in those days easily. We’ve baked cookies, done crafts, decorated the tree and gone to see Disney on Ice (a special treat with my Mum also known as “the skating Princesses”). I’ve also had the “watch a show” or “read a book” card in there. I made a list of possibilities, but it’s been hard to schedule a whole month of these as I’m not always sure of the timing. And well, being so busy, there were a few times I forgot to put cards in. Which resulted in much panic in the morning… “but MOM! There’s NO CARD! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO???!!!” Oh boy. Some days I’m scrambling to come up with something while the girls watch me expectantly… waiting for something brilliant to happen after I write it down and tuck it into the appropriate mitten or hat before their very eyes.

I’ve made no pretense that it’s anyone other than me writing on the card and we’re not pushing the “Santa” thing for this. They know it’s me and that I’ve dropped the ball a few times. I’m hoping that it will all just roll into a fun memory and maybe a tradition and they’ll just causally forget that I’m somewhat unorganized.

And we’re getting ready for a very busy week, cos hooo boy. We need one of those! (weave sarcasm thickly in there). We’ve got Baboo’s class brunch and our own holiday party tomorrow, I’m having breakfast with a friend on Sunday and finishing the baking, I’m helping a friend with a cake, we’re going to see Santa, I’m participating in Baboo’s class, we’ve got carols ‘n cookies at Mouse’s class, the school Christmas party and Josh’s folks coming next weekend. And that’s just the stuff I remember! Whew!

All in all, I feel very much like Moose in the one of our favourite Christmas stories “Moosteltoe”. “Check, check, triple check! Oh good golly, this moose was jolly! It was so simple, so easy, so….. ok, so not so perfectly perfect!”. But we’re having fun anyway.

And here is where I will pull some bloggy smoke and mirrors to cover the little I have to say and the even shorter amount of time I have to say it … So I’m going to share some links to some fun stuff….

I heard these guys on the radio earlier this week and have been mesmerized by them ever since. They’re singing is INCREDIBLE and their Christmas CanCan song cracks us all up over here. You can preview their music on their website and download their albums as well. Go and check out ‘Straight No Chaser’…

Also, this great blog has been started some of the best bloggers I’ve read. I’m looking forward to following their weight loss progress and am already feeling inspired (what? Again? Ha) to get back into the game myself. Go check out Five Full Plates.

Happy Thanksgiving... yesterday

It’s 4 am on “Black Friday” and I am not awake because I’m going shopping. Gawd no. I’ll avoid that like the plague, thankyouverymuch.

No, Mouse woke up at about 1 this morning. I’d thought it was Baboo, who still wakes up most nights at least once, but it wasn’t. Poor Mouse had thrown up. After I’d gotten her cleaned up and settled back down, I stayed awake for a bit, waiting to see if this would be a one shot deal or not. I was fearing we were in for another round of rota virus, like we had the Thanksgiving before last, but it wasn’t.

But she seems fine and though I did doze a bit, I still couldn’t go back to sleep, so I got up to make a cup of bedtime tea and while I was down stairs and waiting for the water to boil, I’d wash Mouse’s sheets (they’re not any better now than they were a few hours ago) and finish this post. I’d started it yesterday, but the day got away from me and it sat unfinished, as things happen sometimes. And here I am.

So, Turkey Day. If you had to work, I’m sorry. You’d have thought that we’ve all worked hard enough to turn this damn economy around to deserve one freaking day off to be with those we love and care about. I was so sad to hear from my friends how many of their family members had to work on Thanksgiving and to see how upset they were. However, whether you were home or at work, I hope you had a pleasant and peaceful day.

It was Thanksgiving, that holiday that’s more American than America and though we’ve lived in the States for over 10 years now and fully understand the sacred significance and generalized traditions, we did not cook a turkey. (does that mean we are going to be deported?) It’s not that we don’t LIKE turkey, we do. And I think I’m getting pretty good at cooking them. But well, we just HAD turkey when we celebrated Canadian Thanksgiving with my folks and brother in October, and then I’ll be cooking another turkey when Hubsters’ folks come for Christmas next month, so to have turkey 3 months in a row, just seems like overkill to me.

Nope, no turkey; we had barbequed steak, mashed potatoes and veggies instead. However, we could not give up the homemade pumpkin pie (made with pumpkin from our Halloween pie pumpkins) with hand whipped cream. We’re not total barbarians! It was ALL delicious!

Today, maybe I’ll make turkey pot pie or something with the leftovers from our last turkey because anything “pot pied” is sublime in my eyes and mouth. And I’ll consider that using up our ‘leftovers’. Ha.

We did not watch football, or put up Christmas decorations or even visit with anyone. Wednesday night, we shampooed our family room carpets, so right now our couch and tv are crammed into our kitchen area. So while the carpets were drying, we stayed in our pajamas until 11 am. We watched cartoons and part of the Macy’s parade. We danced with the dancers and shouted out every time we saw a float we liked. Then we squealed over all the things we have no intention of buying while looking at the Black Friday fliers. I took the girls Christmas card photo and we all just kind of hung around all day. The weather was cold and rainy and nasty, but we were cozy and happy.

It wasn’t fancy, or ‘traditional’, but we were together and I’m very thankful for that.

If you’re shopping today… I hope things go well and I feel the urge to say stay safe/be careful. I certainly hope no one dies this year while trying to get a bargain. No deal is worth that. I so don’t get that frenzy.

On a separate note, yesterday was my 1 year blog-iversary. One year ago yesterday, the 26th of November, I started this blog. And though I haven’t accomplished all my goals, I’ve done a few. I’m still teaching Pilates, have jumped into the site ads and am still plugging away at it. I’m still not sure where it’s going, but it’s an outlet for me and a record that one day, I hope I’m happy to have.

Here is a link to my first post.

And here is a link to last year’s Thanksgiving post.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to change the laundry over, find a way to get the smell of vomit out of my nose and hopefully try to get some sleep. Enjoy the rest of the weekend!

Craft Crazy

I don’t know what’s worse, that Mouse is crazy about crafts or that crafts make me crazy. Together, we are not such a great combination.

Lately, I’ve felt like a craft cruise director, needing to provide all manner of crafting supplies in copious quantities at any given time. Usually, she requests this at my LEAST patient time of the day.

Now, when we’re talking about “crafts” I use the term very loosely. I wouldn’t have a problem if even SOMETIMES she’d be open to a suggestion to a useful craft, (like ornaments etc) especially one that I can, ahem, move on from my house. But crafts at this house involve piling mountains of popsicle sticks, buckets of glue, covering it all in embroidery floss, shiny rocks and sparkles and googly eyes and standing back to admire the creation.

And of course with every addition, I must “ooooo and ahhhh” and personally inspect.

We’ve had 2 playdates that have had to involve ‘crafts’ this week. We’ve gone through a whole set of Christmas foamies with popsicle sticks and google eyes, 9 skeins of embroidery floss, almost 1 bottle of white glue, and an entire large bottle of sparkle glue. All globbed on flimsy construction paper.

I try to be supportive of the creative process and most of the time, I’m ok with it. I get that she needs to create. But I have to say that after a while of just watching this stuff go into the garbage, because a) where do you store this stuff and b) what can you DO with it c) how do you deal with 25 of them, a month, it's hard not to go a little crazy at the wastefulness of this excessive 'crafting'.

And all crafts must BE for someone. She can’t just make them to make them. At some point she will say “Mommy, I’m making this for….”. And most of the time, it’s me. I should be grateful, and generally I am, but today, after helping 14 kindergarteners for the last 2 days with school crafts and cooking projects, is one of those days where I just can’t watch. I will turn my back, plug my ears and pretend I do not see the "crazy crafting" happening behind me. Sigh.

It's Hippopotamus!

I’ve got a gaggle of girls in my house today. This afternoon, Mouse has 2 girls from her class over for a play date. In the car on the way home from school, they were all singing a song they learned at Halloween, and Baboo though only knowing the first line, was not to be left out, so she kept repeating it. I now think I’m a mean old witch with my hat, riding on my broom with my cat… I think I’ve been brain washed.

While they were eating lunch (a child’s buffet of grilled cheese, mac ‘n cheese, O noodle soup, apples, grapes and grape juice) they kept taking “polls”. One of the girls would YELL “Raise your hand if you like RAINBOWS!” and whip her hand into the air. Of course, the other girls would wave their hands as high as possible (cos, really, who DOESN’T like rainbows??) . They’d look at each other around the table, smile knowingly then yell… It’s UNANIMOUS!! ( A new word they learned at school recently).

Then Baboo enthusiastically raise her little hand up and yell after the big girls “It’s Hippopotamus!”

Close enough. I think I might have snorted some of my very grown-up pumpkin soup trying not to laugh.

Repeat for the yellow, blue, orange, green cups, kitties, and all things sparkly. Apparently, everyone hippopotamusly, I mean, unanimously loves these things.

I guess this is table conversation when you’re 5.

Ice Puppies

I PROMISE that my very delayed Halloween recap is coming. Soon.

However, let me regale you with a “frosty” tale. Behold, the wonder that is our ICE MAKER.

We have owned our fridge, a very nice, stainless steel, French door fridge WITH an ice maker (oooo, ahhhh) for 5 years. When we first bought it, we did not have the appropriate plumbing at our old house to set up the ice making capabilities, so it never was connected.

When we moved into our new house, a YEAR ago, the plumbing and tubing were available and waiting for us, but because I a) find that ice maker ice cubes get funny tasting after a while and b) wanted every inch of freezer space for FOOD not FROZEN WATER, we did not connect the already available hose to the back of the fridge.

We do have old fashioned ice trays and occasionally we used them. I tried to remember to fill them for gatherings, but I often forgot. There’s something that makes you feel like an inadequate hostess when you don’t have ICE. Someone would ask expectantly, “Oh, do you have any ice?” and I’d sadly have to shake my head with an embarrassed look on my face and say “Oh, I’m SOOO sorry. I DON’T.”Oh the shame.

The other problem we had with the trays is that despite carefully wedging them into the freezer between the peas and the chicken, balanced precariously on top of the pizza and peaches, they’d often tip over and spill before they were solid, turning everything under them into a chunk of ice. Or, though the cubes themselves wouldn’t come out of the tray no matter how hard you twisted, but 5 would just slide right out inside the freezer when you weren't looking and slip of the basket and onto the floor to melt into a puddle every time I opened the freezer drawer.

Or someone (*ahem*) would use the last cube of ice and forget to refill it and then one of the kids would get a bump that I wanted to put ice on, and GAH… no ice.

Ice, who knew it could be such a pain in the ass?

So, all in all, 9 times out of 10, you wouldn’t get ice at our house.

However, now that we have our new FREEZER (whoo!) I decided while moving some items from the fridge freezer to the upright in the garage, that we certainly could justify the space for ice. Everything was RIGHT there and we figured it wouldn’t be a big deal to hook up.

So, yesterday, we dug out and dusted off the fridge installation instructions, then tried to remember where we put the bin to hold the ice cubes (I had it in the pantry holding snacks. Hey, I use what I have), then , Hubster dragged the fridge out and wedged himself in behind to fumble around in the dimly lit area with old kinked, copper tubing and a stripped hex connector (don’t I sound FANCY knowing all these technical fridge-y terms??). Well, our “everything is there, so just connect it and have ICE” plan didn’t work so well. Not surprisingly, it leaked. And hissed angrily.

The short version is that several curses and 2 trips to the hardware store later, we’re patched up and connected with water flowing freely into our fancy-smancy ice maker.

Last night, Hubster and I waited expectantly, checking the installation instructions numerous times to see WHEN we could expect the first pieces of ice to be delivered. We kept walking by the fridge, shining the flashlight behind it to make sure it wasn’t leaking and listening with an ever-cocked ear for the clattering rumble of ice dropping into the plastic bin.

It was like waiting for a baby to be born. Or, maybe because we expected so many; endless frozen babies; puppies. Ice puppies.

A few hours later, we heard the first rattle and clunk. Across the room we smiled at each other triumphantly and then ran to the freezer, pulled open the drawer and admired our first 3 ice cubes proudly. I think I might have wiped a tear, saying “Look, Honey. Ice. WE have ICE”. Hubster smiled knowingly at me and nodded.

Though we had to throw the first batch of ice magic out, all day, the ice maker has been slaving away, popping out ice. This afternoon, Hubster and I enjoyed a COLD class of pop WITH ice. It was a warm day and it was very satisfying. Then, Baboo’s soup was too hot at lunch, but it was nothing a piece of ICE couldn’t remedy. Oh, yes, ice. We’ve got it.

So, if you come to our house now, you will be offered ICE. Maybe even for your coffee, but rest assured, there will be ice.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, the ice maker as just dropped my next ice installment, a new ice puppy has been delivered and so I think I will go and get a nice cold, ICY glass of water.

Reluctant Grief

Remember this post? Let’s refer to my birth father (which sounds so awkward) as G. Well, I did find a card and I wrote a letter, included a family photo and send it. It was kind of an awkward letter, I mean, really, what do you say after 14 years of no contact? It was weird. It wasn’t like I could say “get well soon”, because well, that likely wasn’t going to happen.

“Hey, I grew up, I had a couple of kids, I’m still happily married and have a lived a whole life you know nothing about. Sorry to hear you’re dying though…”

After I put it in the mailbox and put the flag up, I kept walking by the front door looking at the mailbox, watching for the mail truck, wondering if I should change my mind, run out and get the letter and forget the whole thing. I was afraid of the can of worms I was opening. However, the letter went out, and according to some friends who were sitting with him in the hospital, receiving it cheered him. And so, I’m glad I sent it.

A few weeks ago, it did seem as though G rallied and was getting better, but within a week, he was back in intensive care, with a tracheotomy to help him breathe and feeding tubes. We learned that he had severe pneumonia that was not getting better and that his remaining leg needed to be amputated due to diabetes complications. (His first was removed a few years ago). The leg was slowly poisoning his body. But the operation couldn’t happen until the pneumonia cleared up. It was a viscous cycle.

This past weekend, my aunt who lives closest to him and is listed as his next of kin, went to see him to make some arrangements. While there, he crashed but the doctors managed to revive him. The order was given to remove life support and he died on Monday evening. I found out by email Tuesday morning.

Hubster read the email with me, saw me start to cry and asked me if I was ok, just as Mouse walked into the kitchen. I was surprised at how upset I was, but knew I had to pull it together to get through the day, so I stuffed my feelings way down for a while so I could be “MOM” and function. Though, I’m sure the kids have overheard us talking, I haven’t explicitly talked to them about G or who he is or that he died. I fumbled through the day, tired and dazed and trying not to think about it. I was functioning on about 3 hours sleep, if you call it functioning, because I had been up a lot with a sick Baboo the night before.

We made it through the day; I talked to my Mum and brother and figured things would eventually hit me, but sincerely believed I could deal with whatever would come and it would be no big deal. Insert another night with no sleep, and Wednesday was a horrible day. By witching hour, 5 pm, I was “Nasty Mom”, complete with spinning head and flaming eyes, getting ready to sell the girls to any circus that would take them. I yelled, I stomped and I nearly threw food across the room. And then Hubster talked me down, told me to just hold until he got home. I apologized to the girls, fixed them dinner and put on a movie and wished the ground would open up and swallow me. I felt like sh*t for taking this out on the girls. I knew I had to deal with this, but couldn’t seem to get a grip on time.

Insert ANOTHER night with about 3 hours sleep.

Hubster gently insisted on staying home yesterday to give me a break and that’s exactly what he did. I rested, he took care of the girls and I did a lot of thinking and a bit of grieving.

I’m not a stranger to grief. This is not the first time I’ve lost a family member. I’ve known deeper pain, one that still lingers 6 years later. In this circumstance, I wasn’t sure what to feel, and wasn’t sure what I wanted to ALLOW myself to feel.

I hadn’t had direct contact with G for almost 15 years. At my invitation and effort, after a few years of little contact during my teen years, he was a part of my life for a while, right around the time Hubster and I were married. That was 15 years ago. G and his current wife attended our wedding. Hubster and I went to visit him shortly afterwards. We wrote back and forth for a few months and then one of my letters was sent back with a “return to sender” stamp on it. He vanished. I never heard from him again. That stung for a long time. I was mad for a long time. And hurt. So hurt. Once again, as I did when I was a kid and never heard from him, I wondered what was wrong with me. Why was I not good enough to be around?

And over time, I realized it wasn’t about me. He did it to other people, other family members. I stopped being mad. I don’t hate him. I never did. I let it go.

Occasionally, I heard about G through the grapevine, like when my grandmother died about 11 years ago and when he had his first amputation about 4 years ago, but I never heard from HIM again. I remember when my Mum called to tell me about him being in the hospital and she mentioned that my aunt had said he was surprised to hear he had a grandchild (at that time I just had Mouse). Hubster and I had been married over 10 years at that point and I was over 30, and I remember thinking “He really has no concept of a normal life!” Through the same grapevine, I wished him well, but didn’t contact him. I did say he could find me if I wanted to. He never did.

On top of not hearing from G, I almost never heard from his family either, despite making efforts to stay in touch over the years. Again, I was hurt and mad, and then I let it go.

However, this past summer, I tried one more time. We were in town, my Aunt was available and we had a very nice visit. She was the first to meet and acknowledge my girls. We stayed in touch and then we got the news about G dying. And since then, my Mother, myself and my 2 aunts have been in very close contact. I’m grateful for this contact and hope that we don’t lose it. But, I’m cautiously optimistic. I know that there was a reason why we got in touch this summer and I'm glad it happened before we knew about G.

I carefully considered going to see him when I first found out he was ill, but decided not to. There were many reasons why, none of them vindictive. I also considered going to his memorial service this weekend, but the highly prohibitive cost and previous obligations got in the way. And frankly, I felt as though, if I didn’t go when he was alive, why would I go when he is dead and won’t know I’m there? Hubster suggested that I go for closure, but I think I can find closure here. I wanted to go to support my aunt who had to make all these hard decisions herself. I felt OBLIGATED to go and guilty for not wanting to. The memorial is for his few friends who knew him most recently and it’s unlikely that many people from his “past” will be there. He’s closed us all out and I feel as though, what’s done is done at this point.

I have been reluctant to start to grieve, but it came about anyway, with me kicking and screaming the whole time. While I never wished him ill and certainly, during this whole thing, I never wished him dead, I wanted to be removed. I didn’t want to care as much as I have. I wanted to believe that he was just some person who didn’t matter to me anymore. I don’t know this man and he doesn’t know me. Other than the little history we have, there isn’t much there. What was there to grieve? I wasn’t wishing for a miraculous father daughter reunion. I have a wonderful father. He’s my stepfather, but it offends me to refer to him as such. He’s a Dad in every way to me and I think of him only in that context. I wasn’t hoping that G would swoop in to be Grandpa to my girls. In fact, I kind of worried what I would do if he ever did come back around. What would I say to the girls? Would I really want him there? What if he vanished on my kids like he did to me and I had to try to explain that to them? I didn’t want my girls to have to go through that. My kids have grandparents, Grandpas, who ADORE them. My DAD is a knock out Grandpa who lives for my girls and they adore him just as much. He’s earned that right and privilege and it’s not one he takes lightly.

So, why am I so sad? I’m sad because he died, by his own choice, almost alone. He could have had people around him who loved him, but he chose to shut the door on them. All of them. I’m sad because I’ll never hear him say “I’m sorry” to me, my brother and my Mother. I’m sad not because of the “what could have beens” but because there never was. I’m sad because someone I did care about, and still do to a degree, I guess, has died. A life is over and that alone is worth grieving.

One day, I'll tell my girls about him. They'll know where I came from and what happened and who he was from my viewpoint. I hope that I'll learn from his mistakes and keep those closest me to me, close. I certainly don't want to die alone.

On The Fritz

It’s such a cliché when everyone says “oh, that’ll fall apart the minute the warranty is done.”

Well, that is a lie, it’s not the next minute, its’ 3 weeks later.

This morning, Hubster came downstairs and went to heat up his Weight Watchers Breakfast Quesadilla (which are pretty good) in our lovely over-the-range microwave, but the minute he opened the door, the microwave buzzed loudly, threw a little hissy fit and displayed digital expletives in his face on the display and just refused to work.

He climbed up to see if the GFCI outlet in the cabinet over the stove needed to be reset, but that seemed to be ok. He unplugged the microwave and then plugged it back in, also to no avail.

When I came into the kitchen, Hubster was eating his COLD cereal and grumpily mumbled that the &^%$ microwave was broken (grumble, mumble, growl). I thought I’d try my hand at resetting it, but was also was buzzed and hissed at. It’s like a rabid cat right now; all snarly and hissy and dysfunctional.

Gee, hmm… maybe I’m over dramatizing this.

We’ve been in our new house just over a year, 3 weeks over a year. When we bought our house, there was a home warranty which covered a number of things, including any appliances that were included with the sale of the house, which we haven’t needed to use…. until now. And now, when it would be NICE to use it, we can’t because it expired, you know, 3 weeks ago. Of course.

I pulled out the home warranty phone number to call anyway, even though I was sure it was finished. I figured it was worth a call, and the lady was really nice and apologetic when she told me it expired. 3 weeks ago.

Sigh.

For a couple of hours, I thought we could live without a microwave, and well, we probably could, but it is sure inconvenient. (We really are a spoiled generation with our DVDs, IPODs and fancy microwaves…) For example, I poured Baboo’s milk this morning and went to heat it up so she wouldn’t get an “ice cream” headache from chugging cold milk, and well, I couldn’t. Well, that’s a lie, I COULD if I wanted to get out a pot and put the milk in and stir it for 10 mins… but I didn’t want to do that. So, *horrible* mother that I am (ha) I gave her COLD milk with 10 warnings not to chug it too fast. But well, she ended up whining she was cold 3 minutes later because she drank her milk too fast. Though she’s not one to listen to any “non-chugging” advice.

So I looked online and saw that they’re not really all that expensive to replace, about $200 for a basic model, but its’ $200 I didn’t really want to spend on a microwave. Bleh.

Hubster headed out to pick up the new microwave after work, found that almost no one actually KEEPS anything in stock and bought one that had a “slightly damaged” box. Well, when he pulled it out of the box, we found that one of the corners had a huge caved in dent on the top. So, back in the box it went.

So, tomorrow, he’ll head to another store and hopefully exchange it for an unbroken one. We hope.

So the whole point of this long winded, whiney post about our fritzed out microwave is that I’m entering in a contest that Stephanie over at Totally Together Reviews has going for a gift card, for an amount that would almost exactly cover the cost of replacing the microwave. Go and check her out – she’s got some great sites and she’s so, so pretty. (*grin*)

Lists: The Good, The Bad, The Lost, The Found

I’m a list maker by nature. I ALWAYS have a list going, if not 2 or 4 or 10. Grocery lists, To Do lists, General Shopping lists, Menu lists, Christmas lists, Ideas lists. I’ve got ‘em. I love lists and love making them. The problem is, I’m not the most organized person, DESPITE all the lists and I suck at keeping track of the lists. I’m often losing lists or burying them on my desk, which despite my best efforts, I’m unable to keep tidy for more than a few days at a time.

It’s maddening to KNOW there’s another list around with something I IKNOW I’m forgetting and not being able to find it. It truly makes me crazy and I know I’ve got no one to blame except myself.

And sometimes, I do something stupid, like put a to-do list on the side of a grocery list and then throw the grocery list out when I’m done shopping BEFORE I’ve finished the To-Do list.

I have tried using One Note, a program available in Windows to keep track of things, and it worked pretty well for a few things. I was able to plan a couple of trips that way and 2 birthday parties, but for the everyday stuff, I found that I was still writing things on paper and then entering them in the computer, which kind of defeated the purpose of using the program.

Side Thought: I just had a thought to have one paper notebook dedicated to lists and only lists. Hmm, maybe that would work? I’ll put it on the list to think about. (hahaha)

The thing that kills me is grocery lists. I ALWAYS have a grocery list going, even 5 minutes after I get back from the store. I do have a small white board by my desk to write down the things that come up that I don’t want to forget. However, after a while, it gets too big and I have to write it down on paper.

I found a grocery shopping template for my word processor that I quite like. I’ve used it a few times, and I like that it’s categorized, but… again, I end up jotting things down on note paper and then transferring it to the template and then printing the template out before I shop.

Another Side Thought: I should just print the template out and keep it in the pantry or something (duh, lightbulb moment!) and fill it in there. Hmmm… I just might do that.

So, the other day, I dropped Mouse off for a playdate with some friends and Baboo and I went out to do a mega grocery shop. I planned to hit Aldi for the basics and then finish up at Walmart. I did not have my pretty template list, I had a scrawled handwritten list, with a to-do list and I also had my master, and ONLY, Christmas list in case I had time to browse.

Half way through Aldi, Baboo had to potty, so we shoved some people out of the way in the checkout aisle to get to the bathroom. I decided to go too, and then we went out to finish shopping. I wasn’t really following my list because, I knew the store so well and the items I needed there. I bought a ton of stuff and it took me a while to get it all bagged. I admit to bribing Baboo with Peanut M&Ms to keep her in one place.

Finally, we were finished. After I buckled Baboo into her seat, I reached for my lists to review what I need to get at Walmart. Hmm, not in my jacket pockets. Or my jeans. Or my purse. I looked over Baboo’s head into the trunk at the pile of bags with a kind of horror and thought “Oh good grief! How will I find it in THERE?” But I KNEW I didn’t put it in any of the bags. It must have fallen out of my purse or pocket.

I tried to remember what was on the list and immediately drew a blank. I considered just moving on and winging it, but then I remembered the Christmas list, which had some great ideas on it that I really didn’t want to forget, and decided we had to go back into the store. I gave a few more M&Ms to Baboo before going to hunt for the list (This isn’t the first time I’ve done this. Ask Hubster, I made him crazy this summer with looking for lost lists). We walked up and down the aisles to no avail, but just as we got to the check out, the only way to get out of the store, I remembered the bathroom. As a last effort, we checked it out. It’s wasn’t by the sink. Or on the floor by the toilet. Sigh. I turned around to open the door to leave and just happened to glance down at the garbage can with the lid propped open. Hey there it was - sitting right on top! I looked around the single stall bathroom, knowing that we were the only ones in there, but feeling a bit creeped out and guilty. I reasoned to myself that it WAS sitting on paper towels not on a pile of rotting garbage, RIGHT at the top and it had only been about 20 minutes since we were in there last before reaching in and grabbing it.

Baboo and I left the store, and headed down the road to finish up our shopping. I didn’t forget anything, and no, I didn’t buy one Christmas thing. If you ask me where that list is right this second, I honestly have to say, I don’t know…. for SURE. I’m guessing it’s buried on my desk under cameras, tissue boxes, coupons, more lists, calendars, chargers, receipts, art work, magazines, cds, photos, flyers and returns. But it’s around. Somewhere. Or maybe it’s still in my purse. Or my jacket pocket.

But hey! At least I can get to the white board and that’s a good thing, because despite doing groceries 2 days ago, I noticed this morning that I need more of my bedtime tea. So I guess I’d better start a new list…

A Testament to My Current State...

Baboo was begging for her chock-wit milk this morning after another rough night of her coughing and me getting up with her. This is the 3rd night of crummy sleep for both of us.

I walked over to the dishwasher, got out a sip cup and lid, turned to the COFFEE POT and FILLED THE SIP CUP WITH HOT COFFEE... then walked to the pantry to get the Instant Breakfast. I had the lid off the can, spoon loaded with powder before I even NOTICED there was COFFEE and not milk in her cup.

I laughed hysterically for a minute picturing the results of Baboo on coffee, and then shuddered a bit at picturing the results of Baboo on coffee and not wanting to waste said precious coffee, poured it back into the pot and proceeded to make the REAL chock-wit milk.

It's gonna be one of THOSE days.

Chug-A-Lug

Anyone who has ever met Baboo is STUNNED to see how fast she drinks a 6 oz cup of milk. She literally downs the whole thing in under 1.5 minutes with barely coming up for air. And several times a day.

I’m glad she drinks milk and really seems to love it. On the days when she doesn’t eat much, I rely on it and Instant Breakfast to assuage my Mommy food worries. Her “chock-wit meewlk” is the first thing she asks for in the morning, but we’ve learned to make her hold off until AFTER she’s eaten some food before giving it to her. Primarily because we know if she drinks all that milk she won’t actually EAT any food because well, she’s obviously not hungry any more. And secondly, because she tends to get car sick. Many times she’s chugged her milk too fast, we get in the car to go to school and she promptly throws it all up half way down the highway.

Nice picture, huh? Ew.

So, we are constantly telling her to take a break, drink slowly etc. Most of the time she sighs and says “ohhh-kay” and stops for 2 seconds and then finishes it off. (And I often make her wait to have her morning milk until AFTER we get back from dropping Mouse off at school and have a few hours before getting in the car again).

Today, however, when she started chugging her milk and we reminded her to slow down, she stopped immediately, walked over to the piano which is plainly visible to all of us from the kitchen, crawled under the bench, lay down on the floor and started chugging her milk.

I asked her “Are you hiding under the piano so you can chug your milk?” To which she replied “Yes. Yes, I is.” And that’s exactly what she did. When she was done, she climbed out from under the piano, walked over to me to give me the cup, with a little satisfied smirk on her face and went about her business.

I guess she’s just too little to lie.

Happiness Is...

100 years ago when I was 5 (ok, so maybe I’m exaggerating a little… I only FEEL 100 years old, but 35 is getting close), I had a school t-shirt that said “Happiness Is…” and then my elementary school name with a picture of Snoopy doing his happy dance on the front and my name on the back in fuzzy black letters.

It’s a safety nightmare these days, but back then, I loved that shirt. Looking back at my last few posts, it looks as though I’ve been really down in the dumps. Little sleep, sickness, being overwhelmed and not taking care of oneself will do that to a gal. However, the last few days, I feel like I’ve had a lot of good things happen and I’m also trying to LOOK for the good things. I’m feeling positive and well, happy. For some reason my old t-shirt popped into my head the other day and so, I’ve had “Happiness is…” on the brain.

Happiness is….

A household that is 85% well.

A new freezer purchased with garage sale earnings and rewards from our credit card.

Having excellent neighbours/friends who spontaneously invite us over for a delicious, homey dinner, and afterwards us Mom’s hang out and chat, the kids play wonderfully together, and the Dad’s play Wii.

A good nights’ sleep with everyone sleeping in until at least 8 am the morning after the above mentioned dinner.

A cool but sunny fall day spent at a local pumpkin patch with Mouse’s class.

Finishing a photo wall in my hallway and really liking the results.

Ignoring the enormous mess I made in our bedroom while organizing and assembling the above photo wall. (lalalala… I can’t see you…)

My new travel coffee mug that is not only pretty, but was on sale and CLOSES so I won’t dump precious, hot coffee all over the car, my purse, my pants, the ground, the school etc… any more.

Having coffee IN the travel mug.

Magic Tree House books. Mouse is in LOVE with these stories and begs me to read “just *ONE MORE CHAPTER* every night. I love reading them and love that she hangs on every word.

Catching up with a good friend today and actually having room in both our schedules to be able to hang out tomorrow.

Having 2 kids that are soooo excited about “Halloween day” because they can’t wait to be “Halloweeners” (or is that Halloweiners?). And they love that we’ve decorated to make our house all Halloweeny (or is that Halloweinie?… Regardless, it still cracks me up every time).

Being a part of a school that has family Pumpkin Carving Night.

New books from the library.

Fall break at the end of this week and 2 extra mornings where we don’t have to rush out of the house.

New seasons of my favourite tv shows.

Tivo so I don’t have to watch any more mindless tv than I already do.

The new heated mattress pad I scored on a super sale with coupons and bells and whistles at Kohl's - especially now that I'm freezing my butt off.

Getting up to excercise at 0’dark thirty this morning and being glad I did all day.

Edited to add: A friend's handy hubby who came to help us out with some minor electrical issues and only charged us the cost of watching his kids so he could take his wife out one night.

Highs and Lows

It’s been an interesting week of highs and lows. Nothing too extreme, but it’s all I’ve got to post right now.

High:
I’m feeling almost 100%. Zicam (and its’ Target brand knock off) kicked butt with my cold last week and I only felt truly miserable for 2 days.

Low:
Despite my best cleaning efforts, my Mum went home sick (but again, Zicam kicked some butt) and my Dad ended up getting sick shortly after arriving home.

Semi-Low:
I went to get my hair cut at a new salon last week. The girl did a good job, but it wasn’t quite what I wanted.

Super High:
I went back over the weekend and she corrected it for me. Then straightened it. And I LOVED my hair. LOVED IT. It was *wow* kind of hair. It really was. Is. I looked like a different person, actually so different that Baboo cried and said she didn’t like it. And, when I asked about the flat iron she uses, she told me it was a $15 one from Walmart. Guess what I bought? HA! No kidding.

High:
We had a great visit with my Mum, Dad and Bro. I’m so glad they came. The kids did very well and we all had fun together and doing separate things. We celebrated Canadian Thanksgiving and an early birthday for my Mum with a turkey that turned out BEAUTIFULLY and a pumpkin cake that was delicious (and even better the next day, guys, seriously).

Low:The recycling truck decided to drive by at 6:50 yesterday morning instead of the usual 10 am, and now I have an enormous mountain of recycling in my garage for another 2 weeks until the next pickup.

Low:
Baboo ended up with fevers and a cold (not strep or flu, thankfully) and has kept me up for the last 3 nights.

High:
PBS and Nick Jr saved my hide yesterday when I had both kids home and everyone was exhausted and crabby.


High:
Baboo seems to be doing much better today.

Low:
Today I have a mountain of laundry, mostly 5 bed changes from Baboo’s bed after 2 nights of throwing up.

This Functionality...

Is brought to you by the miracle of medical science.

I am sick. And not happy about it. To say that I’m in a b*tchy mood is kind of an understatement. Maybe it’s that I’ve got some PMS lurking in the background, cos you know, when you’re sick with 100 million other things going on and family coming to visit at the end of the week, there’s nothing like a good ole head cold with a side order of PMS. And did I mention that I bit my front top lip LAST WEEK and it still hurts like MAD? As in every time my teeth brush up against it or I drink or eat ANYTHING, I feel like needles are being shot into my lip? No? Well now you know.

My parents just read this and are reconsidering coming. Sorry. You can still come.

This cold has just been WAITING for me in the sidelines, waiting for my defenses to be down just enough to take me out at the knees.

And honestly, I’ve been fighting it off pretty well, until several nights of little sleep and exposure to, um, an entire population of sick people, just got to me. My immunity wall fell and the cold just tramped on in.

I thought it was just allergies and then I thought that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. But then the other night I woke up around 3 am and thought my teeth were being pushed out from the inside, such was the sinus pressure. Sitting up, hurt. Lying down, hurt. I would have cried if it didn’t mean that I’d be producing more snot and more sinus pressure.

And then, the obvious smacked me in the side of the head. I could TAKE SOMETHING. Medicine. Yes, I COULD. I had forgotten.

How does someone forget this you ask? Well, you see, for almost 5 years I was nursing or pregnant. (Yes, I know, 2 kids, 3 years apart…. Do the math. I spent a LOT of time nursing, freak that I am). During that time, unless I was on antibiotics, which was rare, I took nothing more than Tylenol or Advil. Even during horrible colds, of which there were a few.

So, the other night when I realized I did not have to suffer through it, with a foggy giddiness I ran to the medicine cabinet to find the box of decongestant I bought Hubster just a few weeks ago. I popped one in, followed by a Tylenol chaser and waited for all of the mediciney goodness to kick in.

If you know me, you know that this is unusual for me. I am SO NOT a medicine person. If you don’t know me, right now, you think I’m some sort of junkie who has fallen off the wagon. I’m not, really.

I know that cold remedies do not make you heal faster. I know that. There is NEVER a good time to get sick. However, over the counter cold meds sure can help you feel a bit more human and when you’ve got 2 kids, school, meetings, etc and really not much of a chance to sit and chill for longer than 10 minutes until after 8 pm (if you’re lucky), well… sometimes you just gotta find some functionality in a box of decongestants. So thank you medical science.

I can’t say they’ve improved my mood much, but the fact that I am sitting here without falling over, is good enough for me right now. I can’t imagine the shape I’d be in right now, if I wasn’t able to get some kind of relief. I know I’ll get a chance to rest soon, and that will help me to truly heal. Though really, as of tonight, so FAR (knock on wood ) I’m feeling a bit better.

As for the kids… I’m sorry I’m in grouchy grizzly bear mode. Really, I am. However, if you’d like to HELP Mommy feel better… please stop WHINING. Constantly, and asking WHY. Constantly. This will vastly help Mommy be nicer.

And Mom and Dad (and Bro), we’re looking forward to seeing you tomorrow. We’re all set. And I promise that I won’t meet you at the door with a growl. And the whole house has been Clorox-d. And I’ve taken a shower in Purell.

P.S. I kind of left you hanging with the whole “Father” bomb. Sorry. Things got crazy busy and I haven’t been able to post. The current update is that he is doing better, apparently off the ventilator and talking. But that’s all I know. And as a further aside, I do not wish him any ill will – and certainly don’t wish him dead. I’m just a bit surprised, more than anything. It’s kind of a weird situation. More at another point, I’m sure.

When You Care Enough...

To send the best sentiment you can manage when life throws you a very bizarre curve ball.

I didn’t know it was possible, but you really can find a card to send to someone who is…

Sick… (no brainer)
And in the hospital… (hmm, ok, doable).
And likely terminally ill… (a little tougher… “so I hear you’re dying…”)
And whom you haven’t heard a word from in 14 years… (um, well, that’s a bit strange)
And is your “birth” father. (*whump* there’s the curve ball, right to the head).

Yeah, life’s kinda funny like that sometimes. Oy. (hence, the processing…) I can't say this was a card I ever though I'd be shopping for, but there you go.

Rainbows

I have so much to say and not really a lot of time to process things enough to be able to articulate things well enough. Soon, I hope.

However, quickly…. Tonight, as I was tucking Baboo into bed, we were chatting for quite a while. She talked about the book we read tonight, the girl at gymnastics the other day who hit her and playing outside tonight.

I raised my eyebrows at something she said and her face lit up! She said “Mama! You have RAINBOWS on your face!”

At my confused expression, she said “When your eyebrows go up, you have rainbows on your head. Wow! ” and then she traced her finger on the wrinkles that appear on my forehead when I frown or lift my eyebrows.

So, I guess there *IS* a way to view your wrinkles positively. Frankly, I could use a few rainbows over my head right now, and here I had them all along. Go figure.

Why

“Why” is a word I hear often these days, a little too often for my personal taste, to be honest.
Baboo is going through the “why” phase, that time in a toddler's existence when the answer to each and every request, statement, fart is “why”. For example:

It's time for dinner.
Why?
Because we all need to eat.
Why?
So you can grow up bigger.
Why?
Burp.
Why?
Sniff
Why?

You get the picture.

Sometimes I do actually try to answer some of the “why” questions, to show that I do take her seriously when she asks questions, but after about 22, my head explodes and I say “Well, why do you think…?”. Generally, that ends the endless, mindless series of “why”.

However, the one that gets me every time is the “why are we stopping” when we’re in the car and have to stop at stop signs and red lights. We’re spending a lot more time in the car now with Mouse in school. There are about 10 stop lights/signs between our house and the school and on a GOOD day we’ll only get ½ of them, more likely than not though, we’re getting almost all of them. And we drive that route 4 times a day, 5 days a week. EVERY SINGLE TIME we stop, Baboo asks WHY we are stopping. And for a while I would explain that we have to stop because it’s the other driver’s turn to go (why) and if we all drove at the same time from different directions, we would end up in an accident (why), and that we could get hurt (why) and that would make us sad (why)... yada, yada, yada.

This went on for several weeks. However, now, when she asks WHY we are stopping, I try not to snarl, “Baboo, why do YOU think we are STOPPING?” and she happily pipes up “Because it’s not our turn, Mama! And Mama, you need to WAIT your turn. Even grownups have to wait. There’s lots of red lights. I LIKE red.” And I grimace smile and nod in the rearview mirror and agree with her. And repeat, repeat, repeat.

The last few days, though, she stopped asking so often and I thought we had this licked, I really did. I was almost hoping that it was going to end, but … the other day, when the light turned green and she asked “Why are we GOING?”

Why, indeed.

Swimming Butterflies

It’s been HOT here, as in 85 F today. We had sweaters and jeans on this morning on our way out the door to school and were stripping down to bathing suits to stew in the kiddie pool in the backyard by noon.

The girls decided to have a “beach party” in the back yard after lunch, so we filled the pool, opened the sandbox and set up the beach umbrellas and laid towels on the lawn. We invited our neighbors over to enjoy the fun.

At one point, Mouse came running to me yelling “Mom! I RESCUED a butterfly from the POOL!”. As soon as I saw her tightly closed, dripping fist, I knew it wasn’t so much a rescue as a recovery. She opened her fingers to show me a little gray moth, sopping wet and not moving. She tried to get it to fly away, but well, it wasn’t really going anywhere. She flicked her hand and kind of plopped on the deck. My neighbor and I watched it, wondering what to say. Mouse said “It’ll dry out and then be ok” and since we didn’t really want to get into a indepth “death” conversation over a moth in 85F weather, we agreed that that just *might* be a possibility, as she skipped back to the pool.

Baboo wandered over to hover over the moth for a while. She noted that it was not moving. My friend, trying to smooth things over said “Well, butterflies aren’t very good swimmers. They should probably stay out of the pool.”

Baboo stood up like she had the answer from the universe, put her hands on her little bathing suit clad hips and said “She just needs to get her BATHING suit on and THEN she’ll be able to swim. Silly butterfly trying to swim without a bathing suit on!” and then proceeded to show us how a butterfly would flap her wings and swim at the same time.

Feeling very proud of herself, she also skipped off to join the other girls at the pool.

My neighbor looked at me with wide eyes and asked if Baboo really said that and then proceeded to keel over laughing.

It All Adds Up To a Hill of Beans

No, really, it does. A hill of beans and a mountain of apples.

And you’re wondering what the HECK I’m talking about. I know you are. It’s ok, it’ll all become clear in a moment. Clear as mud.

Yesterday, we rounded up the neighbours (or rather, they rounded us up) and we headed out to a local apple orchard for their “kick off fall” festival. We met early, grabbed a wagon with 2 bushel baskets and headed down the rows to pick sweet galas, tender cortlands and tangy jonathans. It was sunny and pretty and warm. Not overly “fall like”, but still lovely regardless. We picked a peck of pretty apples. (haha) And tasted a few as well.

The kids did really well selecting some of the nicest apples, and of course loved being lifted to reach the highest branches. At one point, I lifted Mouse up to reach a particularly pretty red jonathan, and we came eye-to-eye with a “golden ticket” for a free caramel apple. Jackpot!

Of course, then the hunt was on to find enough for all the kids. We found enough and more to share, which was a super bonus. After we almost filled 1.5 bushels of apples, we moved on to play in the haystacks and corn maze. The girls rode the toy tractor and swung on the swings, surrounded by apple trees, farm houses and corn fields. It was idyllic.

We learned that the orchard offered u-pick green beans, and since us Lefty girls love us some green beans, (Hubster despises them with a passion), we loaded up with a ½ bushel basket and headed down the dirt road to where there is a pond surrounded by cattails and a tree. Seriously, those were the directions. The girl who was directing me told me it was about ½ a mile walk. She suggested we drive with the kids because it was so far away. And then she asked me if I knew what cattails looked like. And what green beans looked like. Oy.

Despite thinking it might be a bit of a distance, it was a lovely day and we decided to walk. We had 4 adults, a 5 year old, 4 year old and 2 year old. We were expecting a bit of a trek, and already had Baboo on our shoulders in anticipation of the ½ mile walk, when we rounded a corner, oh, 100 meters from the store. In the distance, about ½ mile away, we saw a green house and figured that the green bean field would be there. But then Hubster stops and says “Hey, cattails and a pond!” We looked to our left and there they were, with a tree and a hand painted sign pointing to “Green Beans” just past the pond. It took us all of 3 minutes to get there. Certainly way less than ½ a mile. We all laughed in relief as we realized that a) we didn’t have to walk any further in the hot sun and b) we did NOT go through the hassle of trudging back to the car, putting kids in and out of car seats and crossing traffic to go 100 meters.

The beans were plentiful and delicious. I felt like I could have taken more home, but didn’t. But now I’m wondering if I should have. Was 5 lbs REALLY enough?? It only cost $4. Seriously. We came home with an enormous bag of perfect green beans. I think we ate a pound of them in the field too.

After that, we had lunch at the orchard. How we had room after apples and green beans, I have no idea. But the brats were yummy and had had been cooked in fresh apple cider before being grilled. Then we had desert by tasting the contest apple pies, while sitting under the shade of an enormous oak tree in front of a pretty little farm house.

I know, it sounds like some weird country-bumpkin fantasy world, but it’s all true.

On the way out, we stopped and traded in our tickets for our fresh caramel apples. They were pretty tasty. And sticky.

We came home dusty, dirty, hot (it was over 80F), sneezy (from the hay), sticky and a bit sun-kissed, but satisfied with a beautiful and fun day spent with family and friends.

Today, the girls and I washed, sorted, chopped, blanched and steamed a bunch of beans for freezing. Then we sorted out our apples and made a pie that turned out pretty well. I felt like homesteader Suzy homemaker with all my homey “puttin’ up”. We had fresh steamed beans with our BBQ chicken and baked potatoes tonight. Divine. The girls and I vowed to put in beans in our little garden next summer. Maybe not a whole field worth, but definitely some.

I know that later this winter, when it’s cold and nasty, we can pull out some of these delicious beans just waiting to be devoured in our freezer, to have with our dinner and remember the fun day we had picking them.

The First Days of School - The Recap

It’s been an interesting transition to full time school for us this week. I’ve really not had much of a chance in my day or head for putting together any kind of literate post, and I can’t make any guarantees for this one either. However, considering that the girls have gone to bed early, the plants are watered and things are generally picked up, I seem to have a few minutes to be able to sit down and write.

Both girls’ first day was great. Mouse, as expected, happily trotted into her classroom, signed her name on the white board and ran off to find her friends with barely a backward glance to say goodbye to me.

Baboo, was apprehensive in the hallway while waiting for her teacher to open the door; daunted by all the parents and new kids, but once the classroom door opened, she was the first one in and I had to go and interrupt her cooking up an imaginary feast in the play kitchen to give her a hug and a kiss goodbye.

One of the nice things about our school is that we host a “breakfast” every day during the first week of school. The board (which I am a part of), supplies the coffee/food and it’s a good place to hang out close by if your child needs you or if YOU need to see your child and it’s also a great way to mingle with the other families in our cooperative. We’re not above spying on other people’s children by peeking through windows etc to report back on transitory progress. Overall, most of the kids have done very, very well. So despite having many new families this year, not many have stayed to mingle, and so, our breakfasts, have been attended mostly by veteran members happy to have some grown-up conversation. Yes, yes, I admit that have been there every day. (But it’s my BOARD DUTY to stay for, at least, PART of the time. Right?)

In the post first day chatter on the way home from school, Baboo reported that she did NOT play in the sand table (even though I saw her there), made a placemat with all Nemo stickers, but no Dory’s, had “no hax-sidents” and loved going potty on a real toilet and washing her hands all by herself in the child sized bathroom. She proclaimed that the best part of school was the slides, and went on to mention that she now “owns” all the slides. I’m grateful to know that I did spy on her a bit when she played outside and she did indeed share “her” slides well.

Mouse was thrilled to be with her friends again this year. Of the 14 in her class, 12 moved on from her class last year and there’s a perfect 50/50 mix of girls and boys. She’s loved wearing certain colors every day as a color review, is so excited to be journaling daily and writing “REAL WORDS, MOM!” (as opposed to the “fake” words I’ve been helping her write for the last 2 years) and is just eating up the routine. She did ask how far away the weekend was this morning as she was getting dressed, in a very tired kind of voice. When I told her it was only 2 school days away, counting today, she gave me the resigned “I can make it through 2 more classes” sigh. I think the getting up EVERY day and having to be out the door at the SAME time EVERY day is wearing her down a bit. But it’s good for all of us.

On top of that, this week we’ve had impromptu play dates in the afternoon to burn off the excess school excitement, a piano lesson, and a 1.5 hour session of heavy gymnastics. To say that my girls are wiped is a bit of an understatement. Bedtime is 7 pm these days, ½ an hour earlier than normal and no one is complaining about it. Heck, I’m wiped and I’m just the chaperone/chauffeur/cook/planner/time keeper/house keeper/maid… uh, never mind. I’m busy too, but in a different way.

But, despite it all, I’m thrilled to be back at a place that was our welcome wagon last year, to meet up the friends that *I* made and to witness my girls comfort and happiness in a truly nurturing place. The routine feels like it’s going to work and though we’re still working on hitting our stride, we’re all in the right groove.

And like the “omen” that announces that THIS is where we are supposed to be in our life; when I walk into my kitchen I see mounted on the art wall, Mouse’s name traced in glue on purple construction and outlined with beans. It’s a kindergarten classic and you just can’t beat that.

Stuff...

The good news is that I didn’t get sick, at least not yet and hoping it doesn’t happen. Hubster is much better and so are the girls. So, all that said, what the heck have I been SOOO busy doing for almost a week that I couldn’t bother to post. Well, the answer is … stuff. Almost literally.

Hubster was home all last week because he was so sick. He tried to go to work and they sent him home. Yeah, pretty bad.

I had 3 school meetings, took the girls to the zoo, piano lesson and gymnastics and then in between all that I’ve been bustin’ on my house.

I cleaned out both girls rooms, big time. Then my neighbor offered me her toddler bed and bedding, so I took down Baboo’s crib (she cried, even though she loves her big girl bed) and rearranged her room. I found a cute valance that works really well.

Then I took on the playroom. Oh my. THAT was an adventure. Nasty.

Then I finished cleaning up my desk space. Again. Oh my.

Friday, I broke down and went to get some clothes for fall so I don’t freeze in December in the 2 pairs of capris that fit me right now (see rant about that here). I cleaned up at Goodwill then hit Kohls with Kohls cash, a gift card and power hour sales. Yay me.

Saturday, Hubster and I cleaned out the garage. That meant taking EVERYTHING out, spreading it all over the lawn and driveway, turning away 100 people who wanted to buy everything we owned, insulating a wall at the last minute (of course, AFTER I ran to Lowes to buy insulation we found several rolls of it in our garage attic left by the previous owners. Gah! And thanks!), sorting everything out and then, well, putting it all back in. We’re having a garage sale with our neighbours in 3 weeks, so all the junk we decided to get rid of … is back in the garage. So, we spent an entire day sweating away and it looks like we did nothing at all.
So, I’m making some progress on the house, which is good. It needed a good clean out and to have a garage sale soon, is also a relief. I’ve got a few little details to finish up and 2 rooms to do and I will have tackled every room in the house. Yay me. Whew.

And yesterday, just for kicks, we decided to have a kind of impromptu barbeque with some friends and neighbours. We actually had a really nice time and though the weather was crummy allll day, by the BBQ, it was sunny and warm. The kids played nicely together and once again, Hubster and I marveled and how fortunate and grateful we are to have made such good friends less than a year after moving into our house.

Tomorrow is the first day of school for both of my girls. I’m excited and nervous for them, as they are for themselves. We are definitely ready. It’ll be a while before the girls being in school will actually be a BREAK for me, but that’s ok. Right now, it’s more about getting them settled and I’m ok with that.

So yeah, that’s what I’ve crammed into this past week. It’s been a busy but productive one.

The Universe Conspires

So, it’s T minus 5 days until the first day of school. The girls are just getting over a mild cold. Both had low fevers, runny noses and are still working on coughs. But overall, they’re much better.

Hubster has been sick for a few days with a fever, head cold and now bronchitis. He’s on heavy antibiotics and cough syrup and lots of rest.

Baboo has had 3 bad nights in a row, leaving me with just a few hours of passable sleep (not night terrors, but night ANGER. Yikes.) And of course, this has been one of the busiest weeks we’ve had in a while. No rest for the very weary, especially one whose backup (Hubster) is out of commission.

How can I not feel like my little world here is conspiring against me and trying to take me out at the knees? I CAN. NOT. Get sick. I just can’t. Not that there is ever a good time, but especially right NOW, I can’t go there. However, being surrounded by nasty cold germs 24/7, driven into the ground with school coming up and all that being a co-op parent on the board entails (meetings and so forth) all with very little sleep makes me wonder how on earth I’ll make it.

Though I’m trying to think positively and just WILL myself to stay healthy, I hope that I’ve got SUPER Zicam in my back pocket.

In the Sewer

Mouse, is a beautiful, intelligent and funny little girl, however, she also has a potty mouth that is making me C*R*A*Z*E*E right now. As in, “grounded-forever-if-you-don’t-cease-and-desist-immediately” kind of crazy. This has been going on for a number of months, but lately has been getting increasingly worse.

We’ve all been in a kind of limbo while waiting for school to start, 3 weeks after the rest of the district has started. It’s hard. We’re all kind of “done” with summer and ready to move on. Today, after teaching my Pilates class, the girls and I were feeling flat and bored. I thought it would be fun for us to go to the movie store and rent a movie, which is something we haven’t done in a while. We also planned to stop at Kohl’s on the way home.

So the girls each got to pick out a movie and though we’re not planning to be very long in Kohls, Mouse is cranking Baboo up by yelling potty talk (as in everything is prefaced with boogers, poop, poopy, pee etc at the top of her lungs) and howling hysterically at her witty word wonders 2 seconds after we walk through the door.

I state firmly that she needs to stop IMMEDIATELY, but like some form of 5 year old potty talk Turret’s syndrome, she CANNOT stop. And so it continues. It gets louder and more obnoxious. After several more warnings to stop, I threaten to rescind all movie privileges for tonight, figuring THAT would be enough to get her to stop. Well, it happened again; several times, in fact. And though I didn’t want to, I’m following through. I mean business. No movies tonight.

When I make the proclamation of my disciplinary action, which should not be a surprise by this point, I get a face full of sass-mouth, along the lines of “you can’t make me” kind of thing. And then Baboo took a DVD out of the box and started scraping it on the table. (Insert twig snapping in brain here).

So now, both girls are in their rooms. I’m bummed that our day came down to this.

I wish I could say that the potty talk is isolated, that today was just bad because we’re bored/tired/etc. I could handle it if it was just a “phase” and was one of those things she’s “testing out”. It’s not. It’s almost constant, to the point where you cannot carry on a conversation with this child without her sinking to ridiculous potty babble. It’s during play, in the car, at the table, at a restaurant, in a store, at bedtime (good grief! It escalates when she’s tired, if that’s possible), with friends, with other adults. All at top volume and followed by gales of giggles, naturally. And of course, Baboo reacts and mimics it all, egging Mouse on.

I understand that she likes the power that comes with making people laugh and that most kids go through this kind of thing, but seriously, it has gone too far. To be honest though, I’m not sure what to do about it. I think we’re past the point of being able to ignore it. While it used to be that back in the day, you got your mouth washed out with soap, I don’t know if I really want to do that. I’m going to have to brainstorm up some consequences to get the message through that this is not ok. I don’t expect or want her to be a “delicate, polite, sugar-and-spice, little princess”, but I do think that she needs to understand that this is not appropriate at the level she’s been carrying on.

So cover your ears against the potty talk and share your tips. Help me! Please!

More Words of Widsom from Baboo

Last night, shortly after I put Baboo to bed, I heard her in the bathroom upstairs. Suspecting she needed some help with the potty, I went upstairs to check on her. She had taken her pajama bottoms and pull up off and was sitting on the potty in the bathroom.

Baboo: Mommy. I just goin’ potty.
Me: Ok. Do you need some help?
Baboo: (grunting). Noooo.
Me: Do you need to go poop?
Baboo: I think so. (grunting and pushing).
Me: Well, you did go poop earlier today. Is there more?
Baboo: I think so. I need more power! (pushing harder)
Me: What?!
Baboo: Mommy, put me on the toilet so I can have more power!
Me: (putting her on the toilet). Ooook.
Baboo: Mommy! Where’s my power?
Me (power? Power?)… Uh… Oh, like when you farted earlier on the toilet and the poop came out?
Baboo: YEAH! That! Where my POWER?!
Me: Um, well… maybe you used it all up earlier.
Baboo: Sigh. Ok. I guess I get more power tomorrow.
Me: Thanks for the warning.

(if you hear a loud explosion over our house tomorrow, you know it’s just Baboo and she’s found her “power”).

We were driving in the car on the way to gymnastics today and discussing going to the doctor and who needs to go for check-ups.

Mouse: Mommy, YOU have to go to the doctor for a checkup. Just like ME.
Baboo: Yeah! I need a hiccup too!
Mouse: You don’t have the hiccups!
Baboo: Yes, I need hiccups too. And Daddy goes to the doctor to get hiccups too! We ALL need to get hiccups.
Me: (trying to drive while laughing…)
Mouse: Baaaabooo! Not HICCUPS, CHECK-UPS!
Baboo: That’s what I SAID… hiccups.

My Inspriational Slap in the Face

While waiting for Mouse during her piano lesson today, I saw this (see below) on a plaque in the instructor’s living room.

Considering I was having more than an off day, I figured it was a very good inspirational slap in the face. I jotted it down in the notes section in the back of my planner calendar. I have no idea who wrote it, but I like it anyway.

This is the beginning of a new day.
God has given me this day to use as I will.
I can waste it or grow in its’ light and be of service to others.
But what I do with this day is important because I have exchanged a day of my life for it.
When tomorrow comes, today will be gone forever.
I hope I will not regret the price I paid for it.

I wish I could say I made the most of my day, today. I did not. But, tomorrow is the beginning of a new day and I hope it use it wisely.

Rules of Engagement

I was hanging out with a friend recently and we were talking about our kids, as we usually do. I forget what exactly we were talking about but she said something that struck me to the core. She said “Sometimes I do things with the kids, like outings, where I can just be a supervisor but not have to engage with them”.

I instantly realized that I have done this a lot this summer, particularly with Mouse. That “guilty baaaad mother” sinking feeling started snaking its’ way into my heart. I felt kind of sick when I realized this.

The truth is; I have a hard time relating to Mouse sometimes. We can often be at opposite spectrums and can’t seem to find a middle ground. When I’m trying to engage, she’s not receptive at all. Or, she’s seems to really need me when I’m crabby, busy etc.

Lately, she’s been kind of over the top obnoxious, in that silly, crazy potty-talking kid kind of way. I can see that this is a multifaceted issue. I know that this is a phase that most kids go through, but a part of it, is because she’s trying to deal with all the changes that are coming up. She’s excited about kindergarten, but it’s a bit of an unknown and that stresses her out a bit and this is how it manifests. Another part is that she’s acting out to get our/my attention. She’s screaming LOOK AT ME! And generally we do, to tell her to settle down etc. And I always feel really bad after that. It’s a classic example of the “negative attention cycle”.

Another facet is that she rarely gets Mommy to herself. There’s been a lot of competition for Mommy this summer, with us being so insanely busy lately, she just doesn’t get one on one time with me. It’s doesn’t help that Baboo wants to do everything she does, and is hard to be distracted with other things. And though I do protect Mouse’s right to do big 5 year old girl things by herself, if I’m the only one here, I do have to keep an eye on Baboo too. She doesn't get my undivided attention. I know that’s hard.

And just adds to my guilt.

The thing is, she’s rarely “bad”, annoying yes, bad, rarely. She doesn’t really get into things she’s not supposed to. She generally listens when we talk to her or ask her to do something. She can be kind of mean to her sister, but not in an overly aggressive way. They’re 5 and 2, and I expect this.

She’s smart and charming and funny and so beautiful she takes my breath away. She wants to BE WITH ME. Constantly. She needs to be reassured, complimented, noticed and encouraged. A lot. And considering I’m a person who likes a little bit of personal space, physical and mental, sometimes I find that overwhelming.

Huh. I just realized that about myself.

Communication is a big thing, or rather our method of communication. I’m often in “Mom-mode” directing, correcting, explaining, praising, requesting etc. While we do talk, we don’t often get a chance to “converse”. She can be hard to actually talk to and I admit that I do tune a lot of stuff out. She often talks “at me” but not “to” me and like a kid, there’s a lot of whining and tattling, and there’s a lot of silly talk and repetition because she really like the power that comes with making people laugh, and so she’ll keep doing or saying something (often with potty talk, everything’s funnier with “poopy” attached to it) and cracking herself up. There’s only so much of that kind of thing that my brain can take before it shuts down.

And I also know that a part of our communication issues is that Mouse is copying the babyish way that Baboo communicates to get attention because she does see that, to a degree, it works for Baboo. However, although I *know* this is what she’s doing, I tend to withdraw a bit further to not respond to that kind of communication at all.

Anyway, I guess I have a hard time relating to her and finding a place where we can both meet up and connect in a way that works. This makes me feeling like I’m failing her in a big way. I want her to feel that she’s getting what she needs, but I think I deserve not to be constantly railroaded.

Guilt, guilt, guilt.

The thing is, I know she’s not getting any younger and neither am I. While I don’t feel like we’re so off track that we can’t get back on, I know that our tracks aren’t meeting up in a useful way right now. I want us to have a solid communication foundation in place before we get into the preteen years. I want her to KNOW that I’m always here for her. I want her to: feel confident, important, respected and be respectful, heard and understood. I need to try harder and I’ve already started. I’m going to plan a Mouse-parent only outing once or twice a month. She loves doing special things with just one of us, but Hubster has been the one doing the fun stuff lately, not me. So next weekend she and I are going to a movie and then out to lunch. She’s excited that it’s just going to be her and I, and I’m happy that she’s looking forward to it. I am too.

This summer has been interesting. We’ve had a lot going on and we’re all moving to the next “level”. Baboo is most definitely NOT a baby anymore, Hubster and I are trying to get to the next level in our marriage, I’m trying to define my place in this world and Mouse is moving from little kid to big kid at a very fast pace. This year seems so important and I feel as though I have a lot of work to do still. The step from kindergarten to grade 1 seems so big. I know, I’ll have to let go of her a lot more. I want her to be ready. I want to be ready. I’m scared and nervous, excited and holding my breath.

A Visit With The Teacher

Baboo will be starting preschool 2 mornings a week this September. We have been super fortunate to have found a fantastic cooperative school that we all love. Last year was Mouse’s first year in school and it was an awesome experience. Baboo witnessed her having a great time and is ready at 2 for an introduction to school in a way that Mouse was not at this age.

But I digress. So, our school’s teachers visit each child at their home before school starts. Today, was Baboo’s home visit. She has met the teacher many times in the past at the school and has spent time in what will be her classroom. Baboo is very comfortable with the thought of going to school.

Of course the teacher arrived as the girls were playing “salon” with me. I had about ½ a bottle of detangler sprayed in one spot on my head and about 50 little barrettes and clips on one side of my head. Attractive, I know.

Bing-bong (doorbell). (perfect timing, of course)

***

Baboo: AAHHHH! My teacher is here! Yay! Yay! (excited yelling and running around in circles as Mouse opens the door and I frantically try to remove hair doo-dads)

Teacher: Hello Baboo. It’s good to see you again. You’re the first child I’ve seen today who is happy to see me and hasn’t burst into tears when I walk through the door.

Baboo: Meow! Meow! (getting on all fours and hopping around and assuming the “happy kitty” routine)

Teacher: Uh, ok. Are you being a kitty?

Baboo: Meow! (lick)

Me: (still removing hair stuff). Hi! Please come on in. We were, um, playing salon and I, haha, need to remove some barrettes.

Teacher: Oh yes. (silence). Girls, you did a nice *ahem* job on Mommy’s hair. How about we go and see what’s in my bag?

***

So, we all go into our family room, play with puzzles, read a book about school, the girls yell over each other at the teacher because Mouse is NOT going to be left out. Teacher fortunately is used to this and handles it all beautifully, which is why I love this teacher. Not much fazes her. Baboo, meows at her constantly and brings her things in her mouth – blankets, pillows, toys.

After about 20 minutes, it’s time for her to go to the next child’s home.

***
Teacher: Goodbye Baboo. I’ll see you in a few weeks at the class playdate.

Baboo: Meow! Meow!

Me: Well thanks for coming. We’ll see you soon. Oh, and Baboo does speak English and doesn’t just meow.

Baboo: MEOW!

Teacher: I know. I’ve heard her speak before. (pats Baboo on the head)

Me: uh….

Teacher: Haha. I know. Ok, we’ll see you soon.

Baboo: Meow! Byebye Mrs. Mommy!

Me: uh….

***

It’s soo nice to make a good, intelligent impression on your child’s educator, don’t you think? Maybe, it’ll be better luck next time for me, when we meet with Mouse’s teacher next week. I hope. (note to self, do not play “salon” before the teacher arrives.)

Ch-ch-changes

Ch-ch-changes…
Well, you might have noticed some changes around the ole blog. Change is good. I’ve moved a few things around and have added a few things as well. Hope you like them.

I must thank the folks over at blogcatalog for their awesome tutorial on how to add a third column to my blogger template. They rock. So, thank you blogcatalog. They have lots of other great tutorials as well, so go check them out. I didn’t end up with a sprained brain or ANYTHING. In fact, some of my rusty computer skilz came back and I was able to figure out a little glitch I was having all by myself! That’s saying something after all this time, let me tell you.

And now, it’s late (I didn’t say it didn’t take me a long time to get it done, I just said I didn’t HURT anything) and I still have a workout to do before bed. Oy.

Hey! Check This Out!

My Mum started a blog! Go check her out. Right now. Go! What are you waiting for!?

Sixty Seriously?

It's 6:45 pm

Do I know where my kids are?

Yup, I sure do. They’re in BED.

It’s been a long day. The girls were completely obnoxious at dinner, that overtired-can’t-control-myself kind of obnoxious that involved endless giggling and annoying potty talk. I ended up taking away their dinner (they’d eaten ½ and had eaten lots of snacks today, and lest you think me completely heartless, they each got a generous cup of milk before bed) because food was starting to fly.

And then we did a quick book and right to bed. They are both out cold.

And heaven forbid, with Hubster golfing with a pal tonight that I could actually plunk my butt down and do nothing. Nope. I’ve got dishes, a work out and a disaster of a craft closet I’ve been avoiding waiting for me. I’m not going to procrastinate on it any more. It’s going to get done. Like the kitchen I did yesterday, and the front hall closet. Yay me. (bleh).

I’m getting there.

A Post of Randomness, Rather Like My Random Life

So, despite my efforts, however random or meager, I’m still drowning in piles of crap all over the house. I feel like I’ve been TRYING to get it freaking together already for weeks and am failing miserably. I think I need to ship the kids out of the house to actually MAKE any real progress, but since that’s not an option, I continue to just dink around.

So here is a pile of random “stuff”, somewhat bullet pointed for your viewing pleasure (and in no particular order because, hey! Random!):

· I’m sitting outside even though it’s kind of hot and humid out. I’ve just spent the last 30 minutes digging up thistle weeds that slice your feet open from the “lawn” (term used loosely as it’s mostly crab-grass and clover and other miscellaneous non-grass plants). Nasty. The girls helped me “find” the weeds by screeching at the top of their lungs, “MOM! A WEED! HURRY! QUICK!”. I’m sure the neighbours thought that we were growing child-eating Venus fly traps.

· Birdseed seemed like a good idea until it attracted mice, which took the seeds directly into our garage and made a mess in there. And then we grew some corn in the grass when the birds (and children filling the birdfeeder) dropped the corn kernels from the birdseed mix.

· While nose-to-grass, I noticed that we have about 70 billion tiny little grasshoppers all over the lawn. It’s kind of creeping me out.

· In the last 5 minutes, my girls have proven that they really do have the attention span of a gnat. They started out blowing bubbles, then played “kitty” in the grass, then got out the butterfly nets, and now Mouse is pushing Baboo on the “wocket” swing. (aka Rocket Swing). And that also has only lasted 3.5 seconds as now Mouse wants me to get her started on the swing.

· As I’m sitting here on the deck, barely able to see the screen from the glare of the clouded over sun, I realize how dirty my monitor is. Nasty.

· There is a lot of work going on at my neighbours’ houses today. Someone is getting some trim replaced which reminds me that we need to figure out when/how to get ours done. Another is getting a new furnace.

· I really HATE where the clothesline (which I love) is. It needs to be moved.

· I wonder if I can find a composter and a water barrel here?

· The girls are now playing with a plastic golf ball and a badminton racket.

· I’m wearing a pedometer today, for the first time. So far, though it’s only 9:55 am, it says I have done 7019 steps. I did walk this morning, but I think that’s inaccurate.

· I’m attempting to wash my king sized comforter in my washing machine. I have no idea if it’s going to kill my washer or not.

· Mouse and Baboo are already fighting with the racket and golf ball.

· We went and got a family photo taken this weekend. Despite the fact that I think my hair looked a bit weird (which also reminds me I need to decide if I want to get it cut or not. Hmmm), I love how the photo turned out.

· We also went to our local state fair this weekend with our friends/neighbours. Despite it being 95 F and Baboo throwing up in the car on the way home, we had a really fun time. This was our first trip to any state fair. The baby pygmie goats were the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. It makes me want to have goats. And chickens. And make jam.

· My 2 little tomato plants, after giving me a delicious bounty of tomatoes, is laden with MORE tomatoes. My mouth is watering just waiting for them to ripen.

· I think I see a bit of cilantro growing from the seeds of the old cilantro that bolted already. Now I’m thinking about how good homemade salsa would taste.

· I really hope it rains today, mostly because I really don’t feel like going to the pool. I know I should be grateful to have a pool that’s a 5 minute walk away and can basically be seen from my house, and I am very grateful for that. However, we’ve been every day for the last 3 weeks. I’m kind of pooled out. The girls are not.

· Golf ball badminton is done and now the girls want to water paint and do more bubbles. It’s been 10 minutes since they started playing on their own.

· Becprints sent me this site and I have found now found my organizational mecca… www.organize-more-stress-less.com/index.html. I have high hopes for this site.

· My purple petunias in planter boxes around the deck, despite my Dad replanting them a few weeks ago are still struggling. The look awful. I think I may try to do marigolds in the boxes next year. They seemed to do well in the garden so maybe they’ll do better in the boxes than the petunias did.

· The girls are now dipping their paintbrushes in the bubbles and painting the deck and playhouse.

· I think I need more coffee.

· I’m already worrying about what to wear at my brother’s wedding NEXT AUGUST. Almost exactly a year from now. I’m trying to lose some weight, (http://www.operationmoderation.blogspot.com/) but I’m not having a lot of success right now. Not that I’m huge, but I would like to feel better about myself.

· I have nothing planned for today at all. Nothing, other than praying the girls will be entertained by making a gigantic mess in another room so I can get some cleaning done somewhere else. I hope this day doesn’t end up tanked.

· It sounds like my washer and the comforter contained within survived. This is good news.

· Walking out my backdoor and seeing this: makes me happy.

· Maybe it’s time to resurrect Trouble Spot Tuesdays.


· Now the girls are asking for lunch sized snacks and dressup play. I’m baking here in the sun and it really is time for more coffee. So I guess that’s my cue to get my butt inside and get that pantry/fridge cleaned out and whatever else I can manage to get my hands on.