This Functionality...

Is brought to you by the miracle of medical science.

I am sick. And not happy about it. To say that I’m in a b*tchy mood is kind of an understatement. Maybe it’s that I’ve got some PMS lurking in the background, cos you know, when you’re sick with 100 million other things going on and family coming to visit at the end of the week, there’s nothing like a good ole head cold with a side order of PMS. And did I mention that I bit my front top lip LAST WEEK and it still hurts like MAD? As in every time my teeth brush up against it or I drink or eat ANYTHING, I feel like needles are being shot into my lip? No? Well now you know.

My parents just read this and are reconsidering coming. Sorry. You can still come.

This cold has just been WAITING for me in the sidelines, waiting for my defenses to be down just enough to take me out at the knees.

And honestly, I’ve been fighting it off pretty well, until several nights of little sleep and exposure to, um, an entire population of sick people, just got to me. My immunity wall fell and the cold just tramped on in.

I thought it was just allergies and then I thought that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. But then the other night I woke up around 3 am and thought my teeth were being pushed out from the inside, such was the sinus pressure. Sitting up, hurt. Lying down, hurt. I would have cried if it didn’t mean that I’d be producing more snot and more sinus pressure.

And then, the obvious smacked me in the side of the head. I could TAKE SOMETHING. Medicine. Yes, I COULD. I had forgotten.

How does someone forget this you ask? Well, you see, for almost 5 years I was nursing or pregnant. (Yes, I know, 2 kids, 3 years apart…. Do the math. I spent a LOT of time nursing, freak that I am). During that time, unless I was on antibiotics, which was rare, I took nothing more than Tylenol or Advil. Even during horrible colds, of which there were a few.

So, the other night when I realized I did not have to suffer through it, with a foggy giddiness I ran to the medicine cabinet to find the box of decongestant I bought Hubster just a few weeks ago. I popped one in, followed by a Tylenol chaser and waited for all of the mediciney goodness to kick in.

If you know me, you know that this is unusual for me. I am SO NOT a medicine person. If you don’t know me, right now, you think I’m some sort of junkie who has fallen off the wagon. I’m not, really.

I know that cold remedies do not make you heal faster. I know that. There is NEVER a good time to get sick. However, over the counter cold meds sure can help you feel a bit more human and when you’ve got 2 kids, school, meetings, etc and really not much of a chance to sit and chill for longer than 10 minutes until after 8 pm (if you’re lucky), well… sometimes you just gotta find some functionality in a box of decongestants. So thank you medical science.

I can’t say they’ve improved my mood much, but the fact that I am sitting here without falling over, is good enough for me right now. I can’t imagine the shape I’d be in right now, if I wasn’t able to get some kind of relief. I know I’ll get a chance to rest soon, and that will help me to truly heal. Though really, as of tonight, so FAR (knock on wood ) I’m feeling a bit better.

As for the kids… I’m sorry I’m in grouchy grizzly bear mode. Really, I am. However, if you’d like to HELP Mommy feel better… please stop WHINING. Constantly, and asking WHY. Constantly. This will vastly help Mommy be nicer.

And Mom and Dad (and Bro), we’re looking forward to seeing you tomorrow. We’re all set. And I promise that I won’t meet you at the door with a growl. And the whole house has been Clorox-d. And I’ve taken a shower in Purell.

P.S. I kind of left you hanging with the whole “Father” bomb. Sorry. Things got crazy busy and I haven’t been able to post. The current update is that he is doing better, apparently off the ventilator and talking. But that’s all I know. And as a further aside, I do not wish him any ill will – and certainly don’t wish him dead. I’m just a bit surprised, more than anything. It’s kind of a weird situation. More at another point, I’m sure.