Tis The Season

It’s that time of year; temperatures are rising, birds are singing, plants are starting to grow and I start checking out my summer clothes. And so, while the world comes alive with all sorts of springy loveliness, I’m sulky and whiney.

Every year, I quickly realize that the clothes I so carefully put away last fall are in worse shape than I remember. The pants/capris are faded and I notice stains that I didn’t see last year. The shirts are sweat and sunscreen stained (does that ever come out? Seriously. Gross.) and more than a little grubby around the edges. And maybe more than a few years old.

The other day, I was getting dressed to teach a Pilates class, looked in the mirror and thought “Yikes. This is looking a little rough!” The knees of my pants were very faded, a little saggy around the butt and the shirts were pilling and droopy. I realized that I’d been wearing the same pants for um, 6 years and shirts for just over 2 and they were very sad.

And so, it begins. The spring hunt for clothes; a vicious battle involving a short, curvy, (hourglass some say) somewhat heavy than before nearing middle age woman and a fashion industry that assumes all petites are 85 with very, very long torsos, thick waists, no hips and even shorter legs than I have now. Though, good luck finding a well stocked petite section at any store. The stock and choice in the stores is diminishing and it’s hard not to feel abandoned, as though being petite is not important enough to warrant floor space.

The shirts are too long, and those are supposed to be the “petites”. Most of the pants gape at the waist while make my thighs look like a sausage in a casing. Oh, and then there’s the flood factor of the pants not quite reaching the top of my shoes. But if they’re not too short, they’re dragging on the ground.

And who designed the lighting and mirrors in those change rooms? Some kind of twisted circus hell bent on making grown women cry at the sight of all those fleshy dimples on their ass? I think so.

I’m not asking for much. Decent clothes that are not too hard on my budget. I’m not overly trendy or fashionable, but I don’t want to go out looking like a schlep either. Yeah, I could go to a tailor, but well, who has time or money for that? And oh yes, I love the higher end stores; Ann Taylor Loft makes me swoon, but well, I’m a stay at home Mom who is hard on her clothes, especially in the summer, so I have a reallllly hard time justifying $25 for a t-shirt. It’ll stain and fade just as fast as a $10 one.

However, since I can’t really walk around naked this spring and summer, (there’s not enough in the therapy budget for that!) I will continue to scope out the stores, ever hopeful that I’ll find a winning rack of pants that fit and shirts that don’t hit my knees and be able to put together an outfit or 2 that won’t make me feel like blue hair rinse and orthopedic sandals are requuired to make it complete.

Wish me luck.

Perpetually Dropping Balls

Wow. I don’t think I’ve gone this long without posting before. It’s not that I didn’t have anything to say, I’m sure I did… but….but…. (insert excuse here).

Things have been busy here. My folks arrived shortly after Thanksgiving weekend and well, when you get my Mum and I together, chances are we’re going to be hectic. It’s amazing how much we can cram into a week. This time, I had her help me decorate for the holidays. Our pathetic 15 year old decorations were starting to look at little sad, so we cooked up a theme and got down to work, shopping, planning and arranging and then futzing. We’re good at that. All in all it looks good. I kept the old stuff I love, got some new things and it all looks very festive and sparkly and festive.

We did a lot of running around, baking, shopping, talking, card addressing and then of course, there was still school and piano and Pilates and meals and LIFE that had to be squeezed in all of that. It was wonderful having them here, and maybe it was because of everything that’s happened over the last few months, but this time seemed so precious to me, even though my Mum gets sick 9.9 times out of 10 when she comes and my Dad ends up stuck with the girls many times so my Mum and I can talk and shop and putter around. It wasn’t a hugely exciting visit; it was mostly just day to day living when they were here, but I’m grateful for everything they do for me, for us and love watching them with the girls. They’re heading down to Sunnyville and for the first time in a long time I don’t know when I’m going to see them again. It may not be until my brother’s wedding next August and that just makes me immeasurably sad.

The girls started their Advent calendars, what I like to refer to as the “Christmas chocolate vitamin”, bound to fortify us through the holidays. Hmmm, maybe they should make that for adults with a little “fortification” tucked inside? Nothing gets those girls out of bed in the morning faster than the thought of chocolate before breakfast.

When unpacking the Christmas decorations, I discovered an Advent “mitten/hat” string that I found on sale last year, so I decided to write up little cards with “something Christmasy to do” each day on it. The girls each take a turn pulling out a card and we read it and then later incorporate it into our day. It seemed like a fun idea at the time, but it’s kind of turned out to be harder than I thought. Some ideas have been easy/obvious and with having a few functions coming up I’ve been able to fill in those days easily. We’ve baked cookies, done crafts, decorated the tree and gone to see Disney on Ice (a special treat with my Mum also known as “the skating Princesses”). I’ve also had the “watch a show” or “read a book” card in there. I made a list of possibilities, but it’s been hard to schedule a whole month of these as I’m not always sure of the timing. And well, being so busy, there were a few times I forgot to put cards in. Which resulted in much panic in the morning… “but MOM! There’s NO CARD! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO???!!!” Oh boy. Some days I’m scrambling to come up with something while the girls watch me expectantly… waiting for something brilliant to happen after I write it down and tuck it into the appropriate mitten or hat before their very eyes.

I’ve made no pretense that it’s anyone other than me writing on the card and we’re not pushing the “Santa” thing for this. They know it’s me and that I’ve dropped the ball a few times. I’m hoping that it will all just roll into a fun memory and maybe a tradition and they’ll just causally forget that I’m somewhat unorganized.

And we’re getting ready for a very busy week, cos hooo boy. We need one of those! (weave sarcasm thickly in there). We’ve got Baboo’s class brunch and our own holiday party tomorrow, I’m having breakfast with a friend on Sunday and finishing the baking, I’m helping a friend with a cake, we’re going to see Santa, I’m participating in Baboo’s class, we’ve got carols ‘n cookies at Mouse’s class, the school Christmas party and Josh’s folks coming next weekend. And that’s just the stuff I remember! Whew!

All in all, I feel very much like Moose in the one of our favourite Christmas stories “Moosteltoe”. “Check, check, triple check! Oh good golly, this moose was jolly! It was so simple, so easy, so….. ok, so not so perfectly perfect!”. But we’re having fun anyway.

And here is where I will pull some bloggy smoke and mirrors to cover the little I have to say and the even shorter amount of time I have to say it … So I’m going to share some links to some fun stuff….

I heard these guys on the radio earlier this week and have been mesmerized by them ever since. They’re singing is INCREDIBLE and their Christmas CanCan song cracks us all up over here. You can preview their music on their website and download their albums as well. Go and check out ‘Straight No Chaser’…

Also, this great blog has been started some of the best bloggers I’ve read. I’m looking forward to following their weight loss progress and am already feeling inspired (what? Again? Ha) to get back into the game myself. Go check out Five Full Plates.

Craft Crazy

I don’t know what’s worse, that Mouse is crazy about crafts or that crafts make me crazy. Together, we are not such a great combination.

Lately, I’ve felt like a craft cruise director, needing to provide all manner of crafting supplies in copious quantities at any given time. Usually, she requests this at my LEAST patient time of the day.

Now, when we’re talking about “crafts” I use the term very loosely. I wouldn’t have a problem if even SOMETIMES she’d be open to a suggestion to a useful craft, (like ornaments etc) especially one that I can, ahem, move on from my house. But crafts at this house involve piling mountains of popsicle sticks, buckets of glue, covering it all in embroidery floss, shiny rocks and sparkles and googly eyes and standing back to admire the creation.

And of course with every addition, I must “ooooo and ahhhh” and personally inspect.

We’ve had 2 playdates that have had to involve ‘crafts’ this week. We’ve gone through a whole set of Christmas foamies with popsicle sticks and google eyes, 9 skeins of embroidery floss, almost 1 bottle of white glue, and an entire large bottle of sparkle glue. All globbed on flimsy construction paper.

I try to be supportive of the creative process and most of the time, I’m ok with it. I get that she needs to create. But I have to say that after a while of just watching this stuff go into the garbage, because a) where do you store this stuff and b) what can you DO with it c) how do you deal with 25 of them, a month, it's hard not to go a little crazy at the wastefulness of this excessive 'crafting'.

And all crafts must BE for someone. She can’t just make them to make them. At some point she will say “Mommy, I’m making this for….”. And most of the time, it’s me. I should be grateful, and generally I am, but today, after helping 14 kindergarteners for the last 2 days with school crafts and cooking projects, is one of those days where I just can’t watch. I will turn my back, plug my ears and pretend I do not see the "crazy crafting" happening behind me. Sigh.

Ice Puppies

I PROMISE that my very delayed Halloween recap is coming. Soon.

However, let me regale you with a “frosty” tale. Behold, the wonder that is our ICE MAKER.

We have owned our fridge, a very nice, stainless steel, French door fridge WITH an ice maker (oooo, ahhhh) for 5 years. When we first bought it, we did not have the appropriate plumbing at our old house to set up the ice making capabilities, so it never was connected.

When we moved into our new house, a YEAR ago, the plumbing and tubing were available and waiting for us, but because I a) find that ice maker ice cubes get funny tasting after a while and b) wanted every inch of freezer space for FOOD not FROZEN WATER, we did not connect the already available hose to the back of the fridge.

We do have old fashioned ice trays and occasionally we used them. I tried to remember to fill them for gatherings, but I often forgot. There’s something that makes you feel like an inadequate hostess when you don’t have ICE. Someone would ask expectantly, “Oh, do you have any ice?” and I’d sadly have to shake my head with an embarrassed look on my face and say “Oh, I’m SOOO sorry. I DON’T.”Oh the shame.

The other problem we had with the trays is that despite carefully wedging them into the freezer between the peas and the chicken, balanced precariously on top of the pizza and peaches, they’d often tip over and spill before they were solid, turning everything under them into a chunk of ice. Or, though the cubes themselves wouldn’t come out of the tray no matter how hard you twisted, but 5 would just slide right out inside the freezer when you weren't looking and slip of the basket and onto the floor to melt into a puddle every time I opened the freezer drawer.

Or someone (*ahem*) would use the last cube of ice and forget to refill it and then one of the kids would get a bump that I wanted to put ice on, and GAH… no ice.

Ice, who knew it could be such a pain in the ass?

So, all in all, 9 times out of 10, you wouldn’t get ice at our house.

However, now that we have our new FREEZER (whoo!) I decided while moving some items from the fridge freezer to the upright in the garage, that we certainly could justify the space for ice. Everything was RIGHT there and we figured it wouldn’t be a big deal to hook up.

So, yesterday, we dug out and dusted off the fridge installation instructions, then tried to remember where we put the bin to hold the ice cubes (I had it in the pantry holding snacks. Hey, I use what I have), then , Hubster dragged the fridge out and wedged himself in behind to fumble around in the dimly lit area with old kinked, copper tubing and a stripped hex connector (don’t I sound FANCY knowing all these technical fridge-y terms??). Well, our “everything is there, so just connect it and have ICE” plan didn’t work so well. Not surprisingly, it leaked. And hissed angrily.

The short version is that several curses and 2 trips to the hardware store later, we’re patched up and connected with water flowing freely into our fancy-smancy ice maker.

Last night, Hubster and I waited expectantly, checking the installation instructions numerous times to see WHEN we could expect the first pieces of ice to be delivered. We kept walking by the fridge, shining the flashlight behind it to make sure it wasn’t leaking and listening with an ever-cocked ear for the clattering rumble of ice dropping into the plastic bin.

It was like waiting for a baby to be born. Or, maybe because we expected so many; endless frozen babies; puppies. Ice puppies.

A few hours later, we heard the first rattle and clunk. Across the room we smiled at each other triumphantly and then ran to the freezer, pulled open the drawer and admired our first 3 ice cubes proudly. I think I might have wiped a tear, saying “Look, Honey. Ice. WE have ICE”. Hubster smiled knowingly at me and nodded.

Though we had to throw the first batch of ice magic out, all day, the ice maker has been slaving away, popping out ice. This afternoon, Hubster and I enjoyed a COLD class of pop WITH ice. It was a warm day and it was very satisfying. Then, Baboo’s soup was too hot at lunch, but it was nothing a piece of ICE couldn’t remedy. Oh, yes, ice. We’ve got it.

So, if you come to our house now, you will be offered ICE. Maybe even for your coffee, but rest assured, there will be ice.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, the ice maker as just dropped my next ice installment, a new ice puppy has been delivered and so I think I will go and get a nice cold, ICY glass of water.

On The Fritz

It’s such a cliché when everyone says “oh, that’ll fall apart the minute the warranty is done.”

Well, that is a lie, it’s not the next minute, its’ 3 weeks later.

This morning, Hubster came downstairs and went to heat up his Weight Watchers Breakfast Quesadilla (which are pretty good) in our lovely over-the-range microwave, but the minute he opened the door, the microwave buzzed loudly, threw a little hissy fit and displayed digital expletives in his face on the display and just refused to work.

He climbed up to see if the GFCI outlet in the cabinet over the stove needed to be reset, but that seemed to be ok. He unplugged the microwave and then plugged it back in, also to no avail.

When I came into the kitchen, Hubster was eating his COLD cereal and grumpily mumbled that the &^%$ microwave was broken (grumble, mumble, growl). I thought I’d try my hand at resetting it, but was also was buzzed and hissed at. It’s like a rabid cat right now; all snarly and hissy and dysfunctional.

Gee, hmm… maybe I’m over dramatizing this.

We’ve been in our new house just over a year, 3 weeks over a year. When we bought our house, there was a home warranty which covered a number of things, including any appliances that were included with the sale of the house, which we haven’t needed to use…. until now. And now, when it would be NICE to use it, we can’t because it expired, you know, 3 weeks ago. Of course.

I pulled out the home warranty phone number to call anyway, even though I was sure it was finished. I figured it was worth a call, and the lady was really nice and apologetic when she told me it expired. 3 weeks ago.

Sigh.

For a couple of hours, I thought we could live without a microwave, and well, we probably could, but it is sure inconvenient. (We really are a spoiled generation with our DVDs, IPODs and fancy microwaves…) For example, I poured Baboo’s milk this morning and went to heat it up so she wouldn’t get an “ice cream” headache from chugging cold milk, and well, I couldn’t. Well, that’s a lie, I COULD if I wanted to get out a pot and put the milk in and stir it for 10 mins… but I didn’t want to do that. So, *horrible* mother that I am (ha) I gave her COLD milk with 10 warnings not to chug it too fast. But well, she ended up whining she was cold 3 minutes later because she drank her milk too fast. Though she’s not one to listen to any “non-chugging” advice.

So I looked online and saw that they’re not really all that expensive to replace, about $200 for a basic model, but its’ $200 I didn’t really want to spend on a microwave. Bleh.

Hubster headed out to pick up the new microwave after work, found that almost no one actually KEEPS anything in stock and bought one that had a “slightly damaged” box. Well, when he pulled it out of the box, we found that one of the corners had a huge caved in dent on the top. So, back in the box it went.

So, tomorrow, he’ll head to another store and hopefully exchange it for an unbroken one. We hope.

So the whole point of this long winded, whiney post about our fritzed out microwave is that I’m entering in a contest that Stephanie over at Totally Together Reviews has going for a gift card, for an amount that would almost exactly cover the cost of replacing the microwave. Go and check her out – she’s got some great sites and she’s so, so pretty. (*grin*)

Lists: The Good, The Bad, The Lost, The Found

I’m a list maker by nature. I ALWAYS have a list going, if not 2 or 4 or 10. Grocery lists, To Do lists, General Shopping lists, Menu lists, Christmas lists, Ideas lists. I’ve got ‘em. I love lists and love making them. The problem is, I’m not the most organized person, DESPITE all the lists and I suck at keeping track of the lists. I’m often losing lists or burying them on my desk, which despite my best efforts, I’m unable to keep tidy for more than a few days at a time.

It’s maddening to KNOW there’s another list around with something I IKNOW I’m forgetting and not being able to find it. It truly makes me crazy and I know I’ve got no one to blame except myself.

And sometimes, I do something stupid, like put a to-do list on the side of a grocery list and then throw the grocery list out when I’m done shopping BEFORE I’ve finished the To-Do list.

I have tried using One Note, a program available in Windows to keep track of things, and it worked pretty well for a few things. I was able to plan a couple of trips that way and 2 birthday parties, but for the everyday stuff, I found that I was still writing things on paper and then entering them in the computer, which kind of defeated the purpose of using the program.

Side Thought: I just had a thought to have one paper notebook dedicated to lists and only lists. Hmm, maybe that would work? I’ll put it on the list to think about. (hahaha)

The thing that kills me is grocery lists. I ALWAYS have a grocery list going, even 5 minutes after I get back from the store. I do have a small white board by my desk to write down the things that come up that I don’t want to forget. However, after a while, it gets too big and I have to write it down on paper.

I found a grocery shopping template for my word processor that I quite like. I’ve used it a few times, and I like that it’s categorized, but… again, I end up jotting things down on note paper and then transferring it to the template and then printing the template out before I shop.

Another Side Thought: I should just print the template out and keep it in the pantry or something (duh, lightbulb moment!) and fill it in there. Hmmm… I just might do that.

So, the other day, I dropped Mouse off for a playdate with some friends and Baboo and I went out to do a mega grocery shop. I planned to hit Aldi for the basics and then finish up at Walmart. I did not have my pretty template list, I had a scrawled handwritten list, with a to-do list and I also had my master, and ONLY, Christmas list in case I had time to browse.

Half way through Aldi, Baboo had to potty, so we shoved some people out of the way in the checkout aisle to get to the bathroom. I decided to go too, and then we went out to finish shopping. I wasn’t really following my list because, I knew the store so well and the items I needed there. I bought a ton of stuff and it took me a while to get it all bagged. I admit to bribing Baboo with Peanut M&Ms to keep her in one place.

Finally, we were finished. After I buckled Baboo into her seat, I reached for my lists to review what I need to get at Walmart. Hmm, not in my jacket pockets. Or my jeans. Or my purse. I looked over Baboo’s head into the trunk at the pile of bags with a kind of horror and thought “Oh good grief! How will I find it in THERE?” But I KNEW I didn’t put it in any of the bags. It must have fallen out of my purse or pocket.

I tried to remember what was on the list and immediately drew a blank. I considered just moving on and winging it, but then I remembered the Christmas list, which had some great ideas on it that I really didn’t want to forget, and decided we had to go back into the store. I gave a few more M&Ms to Baboo before going to hunt for the list (This isn’t the first time I’ve done this. Ask Hubster, I made him crazy this summer with looking for lost lists). We walked up and down the aisles to no avail, but just as we got to the check out, the only way to get out of the store, I remembered the bathroom. As a last effort, we checked it out. It’s wasn’t by the sink. Or on the floor by the toilet. Sigh. I turned around to open the door to leave and just happened to glance down at the garbage can with the lid propped open. Hey there it was - sitting right on top! I looked around the single stall bathroom, knowing that we were the only ones in there, but feeling a bit creeped out and guilty. I reasoned to myself that it WAS sitting on paper towels not on a pile of rotting garbage, RIGHT at the top and it had only been about 20 minutes since we were in there last before reaching in and grabbing it.

Baboo and I left the store, and headed down the road to finish up our shopping. I didn’t forget anything, and no, I didn’t buy one Christmas thing. If you ask me where that list is right this second, I honestly have to say, I don’t know…. for SURE. I’m guessing it’s buried on my desk under cameras, tissue boxes, coupons, more lists, calendars, chargers, receipts, art work, magazines, cds, photos, flyers and returns. But it’s around. Somewhere. Or maybe it’s still in my purse. Or my jacket pocket.

But hey! At least I can get to the white board and that’s a good thing, because despite doing groceries 2 days ago, I noticed this morning that I need more of my bedtime tea. So I guess I’d better start a new list…

A Testament to My Current State...

Baboo was begging for her chock-wit milk this morning after another rough night of her coughing and me getting up with her. This is the 3rd night of crummy sleep for both of us.

I walked over to the dishwasher, got out a sip cup and lid, turned to the COFFEE POT and FILLED THE SIP CUP WITH HOT COFFEE... then walked to the pantry to get the Instant Breakfast. I had the lid off the can, spoon loaded with powder before I even NOTICED there was COFFEE and not milk in her cup.

I laughed hysterically for a minute picturing the results of Baboo on coffee, and then shuddered a bit at picturing the results of Baboo on coffee and not wanting to waste said precious coffee, poured it back into the pot and proceeded to make the REAL chock-wit milk.

It's gonna be one of THOSE days.

A Visit With The Teacher

Baboo will be starting preschool 2 mornings a week this September. We have been super fortunate to have found a fantastic cooperative school that we all love. Last year was Mouse’s first year in school and it was an awesome experience. Baboo witnessed her having a great time and is ready at 2 for an introduction to school in a way that Mouse was not at this age.

But I digress. So, our school’s teachers visit each child at their home before school starts. Today, was Baboo’s home visit. She has met the teacher many times in the past at the school and has spent time in what will be her classroom. Baboo is very comfortable with the thought of going to school.

Of course the teacher arrived as the girls were playing “salon” with me. I had about ½ a bottle of detangler sprayed in one spot on my head and about 50 little barrettes and clips on one side of my head. Attractive, I know.

Bing-bong (doorbell). (perfect timing, of course)

***

Baboo: AAHHHH! My teacher is here! Yay! Yay! (excited yelling and running around in circles as Mouse opens the door and I frantically try to remove hair doo-dads)

Teacher: Hello Baboo. It’s good to see you again. You’re the first child I’ve seen today who is happy to see me and hasn’t burst into tears when I walk through the door.

Baboo: Meow! Meow! (getting on all fours and hopping around and assuming the “happy kitty” routine)

Teacher: Uh, ok. Are you being a kitty?

Baboo: Meow! (lick)

Me: (still removing hair stuff). Hi! Please come on in. We were, um, playing salon and I, haha, need to remove some barrettes.

Teacher: Oh yes. (silence). Girls, you did a nice *ahem* job on Mommy’s hair. How about we go and see what’s in my bag?

***

So, we all go into our family room, play with puzzles, read a book about school, the girls yell over each other at the teacher because Mouse is NOT going to be left out. Teacher fortunately is used to this and handles it all beautifully, which is why I love this teacher. Not much fazes her. Baboo, meows at her constantly and brings her things in her mouth – blankets, pillows, toys.

After about 20 minutes, it’s time for her to go to the next child’s home.

***
Teacher: Goodbye Baboo. I’ll see you in a few weeks at the class playdate.

Baboo: Meow! Meow!

Me: Well thanks for coming. We’ll see you soon. Oh, and Baboo does speak English and doesn’t just meow.

Baboo: MEOW!

Teacher: I know. I’ve heard her speak before. (pats Baboo on the head)

Me: uh….

Teacher: Haha. I know. Ok, we’ll see you soon.

Baboo: Meow! Byebye Mrs. Mommy!

Me: uh….

***

It’s soo nice to make a good, intelligent impression on your child’s educator, don’t you think? Maybe, it’ll be better luck next time for me, when we meet with Mouse’s teacher next week. I hope. (note to self, do not play “salon” before the teacher arrives.)

A Post of Randomness, Rather Like My Random Life

So, despite my efforts, however random or meager, I’m still drowning in piles of crap all over the house. I feel like I’ve been TRYING to get it freaking together already for weeks and am failing miserably. I think I need to ship the kids out of the house to actually MAKE any real progress, but since that’s not an option, I continue to just dink around.

So here is a pile of random “stuff”, somewhat bullet pointed for your viewing pleasure (and in no particular order because, hey! Random!):

· I’m sitting outside even though it’s kind of hot and humid out. I’ve just spent the last 30 minutes digging up thistle weeds that slice your feet open from the “lawn” (term used loosely as it’s mostly crab-grass and clover and other miscellaneous non-grass plants). Nasty. The girls helped me “find” the weeds by screeching at the top of their lungs, “MOM! A WEED! HURRY! QUICK!”. I’m sure the neighbours thought that we were growing child-eating Venus fly traps.

· Birdseed seemed like a good idea until it attracted mice, which took the seeds directly into our garage and made a mess in there. And then we grew some corn in the grass when the birds (and children filling the birdfeeder) dropped the corn kernels from the birdseed mix.

· While nose-to-grass, I noticed that we have about 70 billion tiny little grasshoppers all over the lawn. It’s kind of creeping me out.

· In the last 5 minutes, my girls have proven that they really do have the attention span of a gnat. They started out blowing bubbles, then played “kitty” in the grass, then got out the butterfly nets, and now Mouse is pushing Baboo on the “wocket” swing. (aka Rocket Swing). And that also has only lasted 3.5 seconds as now Mouse wants me to get her started on the swing.

· As I’m sitting here on the deck, barely able to see the screen from the glare of the clouded over sun, I realize how dirty my monitor is. Nasty.

· There is a lot of work going on at my neighbours’ houses today. Someone is getting some trim replaced which reminds me that we need to figure out when/how to get ours done. Another is getting a new furnace.

· I really HATE where the clothesline (which I love) is. It needs to be moved.

· I wonder if I can find a composter and a water barrel here?

· The girls are now playing with a plastic golf ball and a badminton racket.

· I’m wearing a pedometer today, for the first time. So far, though it’s only 9:55 am, it says I have done 7019 steps. I did walk this morning, but I think that’s inaccurate.

· I’m attempting to wash my king sized comforter in my washing machine. I have no idea if it’s going to kill my washer or not.

· Mouse and Baboo are already fighting with the racket and golf ball.

· We went and got a family photo taken this weekend. Despite the fact that I think my hair looked a bit weird (which also reminds me I need to decide if I want to get it cut or not. Hmmm), I love how the photo turned out.

· We also went to our local state fair this weekend with our friends/neighbours. Despite it being 95 F and Baboo throwing up in the car on the way home, we had a really fun time. This was our first trip to any state fair. The baby pygmie goats were the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. It makes me want to have goats. And chickens. And make jam.

· My 2 little tomato plants, after giving me a delicious bounty of tomatoes, is laden with MORE tomatoes. My mouth is watering just waiting for them to ripen.

· I think I see a bit of cilantro growing from the seeds of the old cilantro that bolted already. Now I’m thinking about how good homemade salsa would taste.

· I really hope it rains today, mostly because I really don’t feel like going to the pool. I know I should be grateful to have a pool that’s a 5 minute walk away and can basically be seen from my house, and I am very grateful for that. However, we’ve been every day for the last 3 weeks. I’m kind of pooled out. The girls are not.

· Golf ball badminton is done and now the girls want to water paint and do more bubbles. It’s been 10 minutes since they started playing on their own.

· Becprints sent me this site and I have found now found my organizational mecca… www.organize-more-stress-less.com/index.html. I have high hopes for this site.

· My purple petunias in planter boxes around the deck, despite my Dad replanting them a few weeks ago are still struggling. The look awful. I think I may try to do marigolds in the boxes next year. They seemed to do well in the garden so maybe they’ll do better in the boxes than the petunias did.

· The girls are now dipping their paintbrushes in the bubbles and painting the deck and playhouse.

· I think I need more coffee.

· I’m already worrying about what to wear at my brother’s wedding NEXT AUGUST. Almost exactly a year from now. I’m trying to lose some weight, (http://www.operationmoderation.blogspot.com/) but I’m not having a lot of success right now. Not that I’m huge, but I would like to feel better about myself.

· I have nothing planned for today at all. Nothing, other than praying the girls will be entertained by making a gigantic mess in another room so I can get some cleaning done somewhere else. I hope this day doesn’t end up tanked.

· It sounds like my washer and the comforter contained within survived. This is good news.

· Walking out my backdoor and seeing this: makes me happy.

· Maybe it’s time to resurrect Trouble Spot Tuesdays.


· Now the girls are asking for lunch sized snacks and dressup play. I’m baking here in the sun and it really is time for more coffee. So I guess that’s my cue to get my butt inside and get that pantry/fridge cleaned out and whatever else I can manage to get my hands on.

Wiped

No, I have not found my keys yet. I remain minutely hopeful that they’ll turn up, but I’m not holding my breath. I don’t want to pass out.

I’ve mentioned a little too often lately how tired I am, and not just tired. Wiped. Out.

Things have been very busy for the past few months and though I hoped this summer would give me a bit of a reprieve, it has not. In fact, things have intensified.

As of this writing, its’ 9:47 pm. I have been awake and “Mom” since 6:24 am. Baboo has not napped and yet has been out of bed 10 times in the last 1.5 hours. Though I did have adult conversation today for a few hours during a play date, it felt a bit like I was “entertaining” and so feel that I have had no time to myself. I feel like I’m going to snap if I hear those adorable little feet get out of bed one more time to go potty/yell that she’s scared/or ask for help to find “Tweet-hawt” the little stuff dog who fell off the bed for the 100th time. Yes, Hubster is helping out to get her settled, but the point is, I can still hear it. I can’t SHUT OFF.

The girls are at a very busy stage right now. They want to explore and be with their friends and be stimulated and go, go, go. I want to encourage this, to a degree. Baboo rarely naps and if she does, bedtime is screwed for hours. Though Mouse will go to bed without too many issues, she does very little by herself during the day and requires very frequent direction/redirection/interaction/reassurance.

I feel like a cruise director trying to keep the girls busy, but encouraging them to play by themselves to a degree. But it still requires me to monitor thing; after all, Baboo is only 2. And she’s still potty training so that does require a certain level of constant awareness and attention. I’m having a hard time finding any kind of rhythm that doesn’t feel frantic.

And in between this, I’m trying to squeeze in meals, a bit of cleaning/laundry – even enough just to try to keep it from taking over, errands, email when I can. Phone calls are a luxury that are often jilted, interrupted conversations that make me feel like I’m losing my mind because I can’t seem to finish a thought.

Lately, its’ 9:30 by the time everyone’s in bed and SETTLED, despite starting bedtime at 7 pm. I’m so FRIED by then. I have projects I want/need to work on and can’t find the time or energy to get them done. I often just flake in front of the tv for an hour (and even that feels too late) and stumble off to bed for too few hours of interrupted sleep. There is very little time for “ME” where I’m not left feeling guilty because something or someone is being neglected/inconvenienced. I know I can’t make everyone happy all the time, and I’m not trying to, but lately, I don’t feel like anyone’s needs are being met in even a close to satisfactory manner. I know that part of this incompetent frame of mind is because I’m just plain tired.

I stopped going to therapy because I can’t seem to get the timing right and frankly, I’m resenting the time spent there. I feel like I’d rather do something more constructive with my time. I’ve been feeling “done” with it, and maybe this is what “done” feels like.

I’m having a lot of mixed feelings: guilt, resentment, anger, sadness about not being able to fully embrace this time with my girls. This is the last summer before we’re into full time school and life will change permanently then. I’m trying to keep up with what seems like a frantic pace, trying to stayed charged and ready to go and yes, we are having fun and I am enjoying it, but god help me, I am tired.

If this is the new pace of our lives, which seems to be going just so damn fast, I need to get into the game and find a way to function more efficiently because I’m going to get dragged behind this fast running horse and it’s going to be messy.

And now, it’s late because I’ve spent way too long bitching about how tired I am (wah, wah, wah. Poor me. Snort) instead of getting my snarky, cranky, over-tired self to bed. And tomorrow is another day full of busy possibilities which I must be ready for.

More Lost Things...

ARGH! I'm beyond frustrated. I have not been able to find my keys since Thursday night! I know we were out most of Thursday, I unlocked the door when we came home and I KNOW I had my keys. But when I went out on Thursday evening, I couldn't find them. I've looked in the obvious places and have cleaned off my desk, searched my pockets/purses/bags etc, but they are still MIA.

I'm more than a bit pissed because I've got all my grocery store/movie/library keychain cards on there. I actually went shopping at a "real" grocery store last night (instead of just Walmart/Aldi) and ended up just getting a new saver card because I could not even remember what phone number I put down on the old card. Good grief.

And I've tried asking the kids as well. They have no idea.

This is soooo unlike me. I don't usually lose stuff like this for DAYS.

Some one please kick me in the pants and help me find my damn keys!!! I'm sure they'll turn up someplace stupid, but I just wish the stupid place would reveal itself to me SOONER. ARGH.

Rings!

Yesterday wasn’t really a crazy day, but I was certainly out of it enough to forget my wallet when I was supposed to stop at the bank and delirious enough to try to convince Baboo to lie down with me so I could have a nap. That I was more mentally incompetent than usual will be important to the story. Trust me.

Mouse was at a playdate at a friends’ house and before she came home, I was trying to get dinner ready. Baboo, who did NOT nap was nearing the end of her rope and was nearing a meltdown. She was whiney and cranky and begging to be carried and pulling on my legs. I wasn’t really in good form either as I was tired, cranky and mentally taxed just making dinner, never mind dealing with a tantrum.

I’d decided to make hamburgers for dinner. As a compromise to holding her, I had Baboo pull a chair over to the counter to watch me mix up the meat and shape the patties and “help”. I took off my rings; a plain silver wedding band and my grandmother’s engagement ring and set them beside me before I put my hands into the bowl. She wanted to try them on, so I allowed her to, hoping that she’d be busy and quiet with those for a few minutes. Then promptly forgot about her wearing the rings. Brilliant, I know.

After the patties were ready, we went outside so to put the burgers on the grill and to play a bit before Mouse and Hubster came home. We were on the deck, in the grass and digging for worms in the garden. Not once did those rings cross my mind.

Fast forward to the evening. The girls are in bed, Hubster and I have worked out with the EA Sports Personal Trainer and are chilling out to watch Reaper. Half way through, I unconsciously move my thumb over to twirl my ring, and realize it’s not there. A sinking PANIC hit my stomach like a ton of bricks covered in acid. I said “Oh shit. My RINGS!” and Hubster looked at me like I had 2 heads. I mumbled out a description of what happened while running around the house frantically, before stopping in front of the back door.

I vaguely remembered Baboo having them on when we were outside, but I wasn’t 100% sure. I tried to remember all the places she had been when I was making the burgers. It’s amazing how much that girl gets around in the space of 10 minutes. I knew she’d be in the living room, the play room upstairs and… outside.

I wasn’t overly worried about the silver band. That is not my original wedding ring and it was not expensive. I bought it several years after we were married because it was more comfortable and I had been reacting to my original rings. The other ring however, though I’d never met my grandmother, as she passed away when I was a baby, was very important to me. It had a bit of value, but more importantly, it was a part of my family. I felt just sick thinking that it could be lost forever.

While we were looking around the house, Baboo happened to kind of wake up and I figured that maybe being half awake she’d be able to tell me where they were. When I asked her about the rings, she was kind of whiney, understandably, and did say she took them outside. By then it was too late for us to look outside.

I tried not to dwell on it so that I’d get some sleep and resigned myself to really look in the morning.

This morning, as soon as we got up, I asked Baboo if she remembered where my rings were. She said she took them outside and put them in the dirt. I asked “In the garden dirt or under the deck dirt?” She said “Deck dirt.” So, as soon as she was dressed, I took her outside and asked her to show me where she was when she dropped them. She walked a few feet from the door and pointed down. Sigh. Oy.

I didn’t make a big deal of it and didn’t have time to look right then, but figured I’d get to it. Later in the day, I’d mentioned the rings to a friend and she said “You should look before it rains and they sink in the mud”.

As soon as said goodbye to my friend, I went to hang out the swim towels on the clothesline and noticed it was starting to rain. Crap. Ah well, I figured, maybe it will just be a quick shower.

And then we had a HUGE thunderstorm with a side of deluge that made my knees weak, especially after this weekend. I kept looking anxiously at the deck wondering if it was worth braving being struck by lightning to go and look for the rings.

Regaining my sanity, I realized this was not a good idea.

But, after dinner, it stopped storming and the sun came out. I figured I might as well try to find them. The girls splashed in the puddles, covering me with water as I bent over with my ass in the air, nose pressed between the slats of deck wood, peering with one eye as far in each direction as I can, watching carefully for any hint of a sparkle and praying silently that I will find them. I started with an obvious grid pattern (I’ve watched CSI, you know!) and moved down one slat at a time, starting in the area Baboo told me she’d dropped the rings.

And then I found one, literally within 3 minutes. It was sitting right on top of the soil, right under a generous space between the boards. It was my silver ring, but it gave me HOPE! I jumbled something to Hubster about “RINGS! ACK! HOOKY-THING! HELP!”

He quickly came and rigged up a large paperclip on a bamboo stake, which was better than the wimpy extra long piece of gigantic twist-tie I had. He had the ring in just a few minutes. (My hero!)

The girls became very interested as I’m peering through the deck and are shoving their little butts and noses right next to me. So, not helpful!

However, working backwards towards the door, I found the other ring. I nearly cried! Hubster, again, had it out in just a few seconds. I think my hand was trembling as I took it CAREFULLY off the paperclip and put it on my finger.

The girls danced around yelling “Treasure! Treasure! Mommy’s got treasure!” and proceeded to ask if they could rescue the 10 year old barrettes and pennies that they’d spotted under the deck. Then Baboo said “I try your rings, Mommy?” It was all I could to not to yell, not just no, but “HELL NO!”.

I don’t blame her, I really don’t. It was my own stupid lack of judgment and attention yesterday that almost made me lose my rings. I’m generally ok with the girls trying on my jewelry and generally, I’m more careful to watch them. I don’t have anything that’s overly valuable dollar-wise, but lots it sentimental to me. I’ll be sure to keep that in mind next time I try to bribe a 2 year old to let me work in peace. Good grief.

Keep the Change, America

Today was “finish the taxes day”. I waited until Baboo went for her nap and Mouse could happily be entertained for more than 3.2 minutes; then cleared off my desk to make room for the tax related paper mess.

Yes, I did start the taxes several weeks ago, but with an interstate move and snail mail we did not have all the required paperwork to really finish. We now have all the paper and so I ran out of excuses to postpone finishing up.

So I made myself a fresh coffee, got all the papers and files lined up and fired up Turbo Tax. After waiting for eleventy minutes for any updates to run, we were good to go.

I plugged in numbers, pulled my hair out, answered questions accurately (I think), got Mouse a snack and 45 glasses of milk while half-assedly replying “yes, that IS funny” to whatever she was trying to show me from across the room, and yelled “What the heck are you talking about!???” to the computer before I moved onto “state taxes”.

And then my head exploded.

ARGH! It was NOT intuitive, “Intuit Company”. Eastcoast State didn’t like that we are in Midwestville State and vice versa. They each wanted to take money from the other state, which I adamantly refused to allow! Getchyer PAWS off our money, DAMMIT! I think I heard Turbo Tax tell me to f* off when I was yelling at it.

After poking around a bit, clicking on various topics and swearing for a while, I found the very simple “do not include this on abc or xyz state return” button. It would have been nice to have had that option right off the bat! Turbo Tax got a little “over helpful” and skipped a few steps during the transfer from Federal to State. Do not over assume Turbo Tax. Do not over assume.

So, while I can say the taxes are “done”, as in the forms are filled out, I have not filed them. I need to sleep on the completed forms (which would mean stuffing my laptop under my pillow, so just assume I’m speaking metaphorically here) for a night and then review everything again with a clear head before signing off.

I suppose I should have taken our taxes in to be done by “someone” this year as I am certainly NOT a financial wizard and for us, this year has been complicated. However, considering how many trips I’ve had to make upstairs to get various related documents and files, I can imagine how PISSED I would be to have to go home 50 times to get related papers and files from a “tax center”. However, perhaps we’d get more money back (not that I’m complaining this year) if someone else did them.

Generally speaking, I think I'm an honest person by nature, and though I did not omit any information intentionally, a part of my brain always worries if the tax police are going to come and take me away because of something stupid that they'll point out and say "everyone knows THAT". (whatever "that" is). Seriously, despite the programs and books and “help” information, taxes are still convoluted and a gigantic pain in the ass. And yet they still allow us to file them ourselves. I guess they’re hoping we’ll screw it up, be none the wiser and they’ll (the “Man”) will keep our hard earned money in their hot little hands. And well, I guess I’m cheap enough, stubbornly egotistical (yes, dammit, I CAN so do taxes!) enough and stupid enough to do this myself, so uh, if I screw it up, I’ve only got myself to blame. Keep the change, America!

Off Duty

I hope I don’t become a single parent any time soon.

The good news is that, overall, everyone is doing better. Mouse’s stomach bug only lasted one day and thankfully it didn’t pass to anyone else, that we know of. She’s back to her sassy self, so yeah, we’re good there. Hubster has been a bit slower to recover, but is feeling much better today. The antibiotics are kicking in and all the nasal spraying, hot compressing and sleeping he’s been doing the last few days is certainly clearing up what has been one of the worst sinus infections he’s had to date.

It’s been a long weekend for me. Lots of non-stop care, puke clean up, laundry washing, snack preparation, fluid pushing, tv show changing, hand washing, medicine giving, late night trips to Walmart for medication, worrying, entertaining of little ones, including one sick little one while Hubster has been out of commission. And considering that hormonally, I’m not exactly at my peak for patience, I’m surprised I haven’t completely lost it. Let’s just say, I’m relieved it’s bedtime. I’ve always had a huge respect for people who are single parents but I have an even bigger respect after a weekend like this. It’s HARD to do it all yourself.

Hubster has really been sick and I don’t begrudge him that. He’s NEEDED to sleep and this time it’s taken 4 days for him to feel better. He really wouldn’t have been much help to me in his condition. And he really does need to get better to get back to work and earn the moolah that keeps us in such fine shape. However, it’s funny; I think for most Moms, to be completely out of commission– as in only functional for a combined total of 1.5 hours a day for 3 days in a row without lying in a hospital bed or recovering from surgery – is unheard of. I think there’s some law against that somewhere. Maybe your mileage varies. My experience has been that I can really only be really sick for about a day, and I pray that it’s on a weekend, where I can sleep and rest and then I’m expected to be functional enough to help with kids, direct traffic, be present at meals and generally keep the house running. Even if I’m still feeling crappy, MOM is needed. Period. There are no sick days. I think most of the time it’s sheer willpower that helps me to get over being sick a bit faster or maybe to deny it because the cost of being sick is too high. There’s lots of lip service paid to the whole “you should take better care of yourself” but there aren’t many systems in place to help Mom’s accomplish this. There’s also the expectation in our society of Mom being on duty all the time and God help her if her kids don’t come first. So, taking care of yourself FIRST is almost a taboo. We all WANT to do it, we all THINK about doing it and yet, no one wants to really do it because we’re afraid of the backlash we might receive if we aren’t tending to our families the whole time. I’ve seen the disdain and heard the nasty comments people make about other Mom’s when they’re doing what they need to do for THEMSELVES and I don’t want to be on the receiving end of that. I personally am all in favor of Moms’ doing for themselves, but I have a hard time allowing myself the same privilege.
I struggle with this endlessly. I can’t find the balance. Often, when I try to take time for myself, there always seems to be a price to “pay” – getting behind on something, having to come home to more work or cranky behavior that makes coming home a bigger pain in the ass and negates the whole point of getting away. Many days, I’d love to find some time to go and hide, retreat to my cave for even ½ an hour to read my book, write or nap and yet, there’s always another load of laundry, something to put away, something to get ready for tomorrow. And unfortunately, it’ll still be there tomorrow, so I might as well do it today. And yet, I know when I need some time alone/away because I’m being a total nasty bitch to be around. But, what to do? Sometimes it’s hard to know.

Anyway, all of that is to say, that I’m off nurse duty, off Mom duty for tonight and thank goodness because I’m crankier than a bear right now. I’m tired, worn out, bloated and PMSing and frankly, that’s not a good combination. I’ve got a very busy week ahead of me with meetings, appointments, classes, a bunch of service phone calls to make and work for the school to do and I have got to get a chill going on here so I can function this week. So I’m off to chill and hopefully get some rest.

Undermining My Fragile Confidence?

My information was forwarded to a friend of someone who has signed up to take my morning Pilates class on Friday. This friend included the forwarded part of the email when she emailed to let me know that’s she’s interested and to keep me in mind if a space becomes available.

Here is the forwarded message in its’ entirety:

“Here is the Pilates information. As I told you before it looks filled, but I am guessing that will not last long.”

Now, maybe I’m over-analyzing; but what does “…guessing that will not last long” mean? Does it mean that this person doesn’t have high expectations for the class? Doesn’t expect me to stick with it? Doesn’t think interest will be that great in the end? Does this person think that someone will drop out and there will be a space available for her friend? (which is very possible).

I’m feeling a bit stung , but am probably being overly sensitive because of nerves. However, now I really have butterflies about my classes. I really want this to take off and do well. ACK!

No worries… Trouble Spot Tuesday is coming up later today!

Kickin My Own Butt

Ever have one of those moments where you wonder what the heck happened to your brain?

That was me tonight. Oh, what a night (and not in the good way, like the song goes).

Tonight was Mouse’s school holiday party. My girls hear the word “party” and instantly out come the sparkly dresses, “matching” tights and “princess” hair (which usually just involves wearing a hair band across the forehead). My girls LOVE a party of any kind.

It’s been a long day of “is it time for the party, yet?” and “Mama, I looked at the clock and it says xyz. Does that mean it’s time to go to the party?”

We organized the veggie tray. Got the cheese and dips ready. Put out the fancy crackers.

For the last week I have been painting 300 popsicle sticks brown. Then assembling 100 little brown popsicle stick triangles. Cutting, tying and looping ribbon over 100 little brown popsicle stick triangles. Counting 200 googly eyes and 100 pompoms. All this to make ADORABLE reindeer ornaments for 100 children. I made these last year with Mouse and they turned out so cute. I knew they'd be perfect for this holiday party. I mean really, LOOK at them. (they're from last year's Parenting magazine)

Of course, you know I was asking for it. Just ASKING for it.

Just as the girls and I were finishing getting dressed, the phone rang. Hubster was supposed to be on his way home and I just *knew* something was wrong. The roads are icy here tonight, so I was picturing the worst – an accident.

Of course, I missed the call because the upstairs phone decided to take a vacation and not turn on (despite being charged) and the downstairs phone went on strike in protest and decided not to dial out, so calling him back was a stressful endeavor. You can imagine the profane language that came out of my mouth. I finally found my cell phone in the pit that is known as my purse. I was able to get a hold of Hubster. Turns out he’s stuck in slow moving traffic , the car is chugging and the engine light is on. My stomach sinks as I realize I might have to tell Mouse that we might not be able to make it to the party tonight.

I decide to tell Mouse right away that we might not be able to make it. Of course she is devastated and I don’t blame her. Baboo just keeps asking “Why Mouse cryin’?” There is nothing sadder than a little girl, dressed in her red Christmas dress with sparkly belt,red and white snowflake tights and a green head band across her forehead, sobbing her heart out because she won’t be able to go to the much anticipated party.

In a panic, I call around to people who live close to me to see if they can at least take the food and craft to the party. I find someone and figure we’re good. I move onto consoling a heart broken Mouse.

Finally, Hubster makes it home, 45 minutes late. We look up in the car book what the light could mean and decide it’s not that big of a deal, waffle around about what to do, call the president of our school to see if the party has been cancelled (it’s not) and then say, OK, Let’s just GO. I cancel the emergency delivery, scramble to get on coats and boots . I tell Hubster to put the stuff by the door into the car as I rush around turning lights off and making sure we’re good to go.
Hubster yells “Are you coming?” from the garage as he’s buckling the kids in. I race out and lock the door.

We drive slowly and carefully and still make it in time to help finish setting up. As we’re getting out of the car and trying not to wipe out on the ice, I notice only 1 box and 1 bag in the trunk. I see food, I see paper plates… I don’t’ see…. ARGH! With another sinking feeling I realize that a weeks’ worth of work is sitting in a paper bag somewhere in my house. Somehow we forgot the $%@* ornaments.

ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!

Fortunately, there was plenty to keep the kids busy – cookie decorating, lemonade, snacks, Christmas cards and just general running around. My girls, and most of the kids had a great time regardless. The extra craft wasn't really missed, however, I was bummed that I did all that work and that the kids wouldn’t get to make these cute crafts tonight. Sigh.

I felt crummy because I had suggested this craft and everyone thought it was a great idea. I realize that I moved the bag when I was checking to make sure everything was in there, it wasn’t by the door for Hubster to load into the car and in my hurry I missed it as well.

So I spent the evening kicking my own butt and feeling stupid for not double checking.
I’m still feeling flustered and foolish – though I know this kind of thing happens. I hope the car is fine tomorrow because I’m participating in Mouse’s class, and it’s extended day so we’ll be there late. Hubster has to go into work early by CAB because we’re just not willing to risk him driving into the city. I guess we need to take the car in to see what the heck is going on with the car.

I’ve emailed the teachers of the school to let them know that there will be all the supplies for a super cute craft in the class room. Here’s hoping they get used. Otherwise, maybe I’ll make them and sell them for $10/pc on eBay! Ahahaha. Yeah, I know.

I need a drink. And a chocolate. And to go to bed. Oy.