A Mother's Pride

Yesterday, I packed up the girls and headed across town to become the Quilter Imposter… I mean, to work with a friend from school on the class quilt. The girls were excited knowing they were in for a WHOLE day play date at a new house and us Mom’s were hoping to get quite a bit done.

Well, I should have known we were doomed the minute we walked in the door. Despite having a smaller house, my friend and her husband have done a lovely job remodeling and decorating; largely in cream and beige and tidy. Their kids, a girl Mouse’s age and twin boys a bit younger than Baboo are used to having “nice” furniture and while I certainly don’t let my kids just trash things willy-nilly, I figure we’re going to get some wear and tear on things and well, a beige couch would make my head explode a little. So, we still have mostly cheap Ikea stuff, so I don’t really worry too much about it while the girls are little.

Both girls know that they have to follow the rules and be respectful at other people’s homes, and Mouse is the QUEEN of rules. Seriously. She will remember every detail and not allow any bending of the rules. Baboo on the other hand is a bit of a rebel, and to quote Pirates of the Caribean figures “they’re more like guidelines”. She knows and understands the rules if we lay them out and follow through, but she’s 2 and has the attention span of a gnat. She forgets easily – sometimes on purpose and sometimes by accident.

And here is where I take full responsibility. Sigh. Ah yes, a mother’s pride… crushed.

First off, we’re not there 25 minutes when Baboo drops a diaper bomb that clears out the whole little bungalow. Good grief. My friend ran that whopper outside to the trash can immediately.

At lunch time, we set the girls up at a kid sized picnic table. I usually let Baboo have a non-sip cup at meals and she usually does fine with it. Of course, the novelty of the little table and the lure of noisy fridge magnets just a few steps away meant that she was popping up from the table like popcorn in a hot pan. It was inevitable that she was going to dump the juice and she did. I wiped up the floor and then after lunch my friend whipped out a swiffer clicky sweeper thing and immediately cleaned up the crumbs from lunch. Her kids did not drop a single crumb on the floor and cleaned their plates. My kids area/plates looked like Pigpen from Peanuts has just walked through.

Baboo barely ate any lunch but 45 minutes later was hungry and proceeded to snack every 20 minutes for the rest of the afternoon and NO she did NOT want anything I brought. She wanted to eat this poor family out of house and home.

Then, when I was finally able to convince her to eat a granola bar we brought, I tried to make sure she sat in the kitchen to eat it as it had a bit of chocolate on it and the household rule there was “No food on the carpet”. As Baboo is supposedly sitting on the vinyl floor eating her snack, my friend is telling me how she’s never had her carpets cleaned and that she’s really happy that they’ve stayed so clean for the last few years. I’m surprised that with 3 little kids she’s done so well. We get engrossed in cutting and pinning fabric and I lose track of Baboo. I know, you can see it coming, can’t you? My friend looks over, just 3 steps into the living room (the living room is immediately adjacent to the kitchen where we were working)… and there is brown goo all over the carpet. At first friend panics as I’ve told her that Baboo has been taking her diaper off recently (in hindsight, maybe not a great idea). With a voice in a bit of a higher pitch she says “What is THAT?” A closer inspection showed that it was not poop, (thank God) but chocolate. (Ok, not really much better). On Baboo’s face, shirt, a baby toy table and… the beige carpet.

Oy.

I have to say, I’ve never seen anyone wield Spot Shot faster that my friend, but she had that spot eradicated quickly. In a weak voice I mentioned “Totally Awesome” but sort of let myself dangle off of that as she certainly had it under control.

After apologizing profusely, cleaning up Baboo and strapping her into a high chair to finish her snack, with a strong admonition to EAT ONLY IN THE KITCHEN, I help to clean up the carpet and baby toy. Inwardly I’m cringing.

Despite regular snack requests and a very firm repetition of the food RULE each time, we have no more messes. Us Mom’s get quite a bit of work done and once we’ve gone as far as we can, it’s time to pack up for the day. We head into the living room to start cleaning up and get organized to go when we notice little black bits all over the carpet. Perplexed, my friend bends down to pick some up, and I look down at the mini trampoline handle I happen to be standing beside. There are significant bite marks out of the foam grip. And friend’s older daughter happens to be resting her head against said handle. And it’s kind of drool soaked with chunks out of it. And have I mentioned that friend’s daughter isn’t too keen on babies? Specifically baby drool?

I try to point out quietly what Baboo has done AGAIN and my face is BEET red as I apologize and start to help clean up, all the while hoping that the floor opens up and swallows me whole, and maybe my delinquent, CLUELESS younger daughter. My friend’s daughter overhears that it’s baby drool on her head and FREAKS out. Sigh.

So, friend takes the big girls to go and clean up a trashed bedroom. (Oy. THANK you Mouse for making a huge mess, but then thank you again for helping to clean up without a fuss). I watched the little ones. As I’m getting Baboo’s shoes on, we’re sitting by the trampoline and she says to me “Mommy, I bite it”. Uh yeah, I noticed, I reply. She says “No, that’s not nice. No eat toys”. Yeah, uh, a little late on that kiddo.

In hindsight, it’s pretty funny and fortunately, my friend has forgiven us and is not upset at all. She knows that kids are kids. Her kids were good the whole time and didn’t’ really do anything. Granted it was their house and all, but still. I felt like Baboo's behavior was a unflattering reflection of my lax parenting. But am I really a lax parent? I didn’t think so until then. Should I be expecting more of her? I was embarrassed that she got into things and made a bunch of messes. Things that might have upset me a bit, but significantly less if we were home. Maybe I'm not doing a good enough job of teaching her to be respectful at other people’s homes? But I thought about it and admitted that she’s 2 and very curious and certainly independent. She wasn’t trying to be malicious. And she wasn’t really BAD, she was just being herself and I respect that this is who she is and how she interacts with the world. I realized, I wasn’t so much upset at HER as I was at MYSELF for not paying closer attention.

I know our rules at home are a bit different and my priorities are different and I never think that anyone elses rules or priorites any less important. I respect other people’s rules and priorities and expect my children to do so as well. My girls are good kids and smart, and Mouse is old enough to get it but Baboo is still learning and I should have been tuned in better to her to help her along.

We’re going back tomorrow to work some more on the quilt and already I have butterflies just thinking about it. I hope I’m able to focus on the quilt and not just on keeping Baboo out of mischief. Oy. It could be a long day.