15 Years

15 years ago today, my Mum woke me up gently at 8 am. It was my wedding day. I had been up late the night before working with family and friends to decorate the reception hall. I was tired, but excited and nervous.

After forcing down a piece of toast to help calm my nerves, the action started. My brother and grandfather started cutting fruit for fruit trays, people were coming and going, flowers were delivered, showers, hair was done, makeup applied, photos taken. Tears wiped.

Across town, Hubster-to-be was hanging out with his best man, eating McDonalds and smoking (which he no longer does); trying to calm HIS nerves.

It was a hot and humid day. A *fantastic* day to be in layers of fabric, makeup and tuxedos. Everything started on time, no one messed up their lines, no rings were lost. Everyone who was important to us was there. It thunderstormed during the ceremony at the church of my childhood, but everything was hot and dry again by the time we were done.

We had our photos done at a local park and then enjoyed a simple buffet before partying for a few hours.

I took 2 days off of work to be with Hubster in our dank, moldy little rental unit (a few week carryover until we moved to another town so I could go to school) we dubbed “The Bates”. We didn’t go on a honeymoon.

After the wedding dust settled, I was shocked. I was MARRIED. We were MAR-RIED. I realized I didn’t know HOW to be wife and went through a little identity crises for a few months. It took us some time to adjust to sharing our lives.

The first few years were hard, as they can be for most new couples. For us, we were young, naïve, inexperienced and somewhat stupid. The odds were against us in a big, big way. We found out later that there were bets at the wedding on how long we’d stay together. The average was 2 years.

We moved a few times, were broker than broke, came with our own growing-up baggage of trying to figure out where we were supposed to go and what we were supposed to be. It was hard to be an “us” when we were trying to figure out ourselves as individuals. I look back at the photos of our wedding day and am always surprised by how young we look. How young we were.
However, we stuck it out, fought it out and held on. We had the unwavering support of our families, who many times went above and beyond for us.

We went to college together, we started over together, we worked together, we were part of a special little girls’ life together, we grieved together. We had a whole life that just grew around us, like the tendrils of a vine. Together, we grew up.

And then, our first daughter was born, changing and challenging our lives in ways we could have never imagined. Another daughter, a few job changes and another big move – here we are.

15 years condensed into a few paragraphs. But there’s so much more. More than could ever be put into words, more than could ever be shared with others. It’s our lives, it’s us. It’s who we are. I wouldn’t trade a single minute.

I was intrigued by a spiky haired blonde boy who sat behind me in grade 9 geography class. He lost my pencil crayons and teased me mercilessly and yet, I still noted that he was “interesting and cute” in my diary over 20 years ago.

I was unexpectedly smitten by the troubled young man who called me out of the blue to invite me to his cousin’s wedding 17 years ago.

I married the man who: loves me unconditionally, makes me laugh until I pee my pants, convinced me that the Simpsons were really funny, puts up with my ever changing moods, makes me coffee (most of the time – ahem!), no longer cringes visibly when I say “so I was thinking…”, sometimes makes me crazy by his ability to strategize complex computer games but inability to multitask in real life and helped me to become the woman I am today.

I love the man who is my best friend, my endless champion, my most honest and gentle critic, the wonderful father of our amazing children and my cohort in the making of this history we have together. We may not be who we were when we were first married, but I love who we've become.

Though there may not be much fan fare in our lives right now, or even much of an outward celebration today, our 15th wedding anniversary, I hope you know that I love you more deeply and more completely with each year that we share together. I marvel at all that we’ve shared together, at who we’ve become as a couple and as individuals, and look forward to the journey we have ahead of us.

Happy Anniversary, Hubster. (We’re definitely going to Hawaii for our 20th!)

(cue cheesy song lyrics…)

You’re Still the One (Shania Twain)

Looks like we made it
Look how far we've come my baby
We mighta took the long way
We knew we'd get there someday

Bridge:
They said, "I bet they'll never make it"
But just look at us holding on
We're still together still going strong

Chorus:
(You're still the one)
You're still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You're the one I want for life
(You're still the one)
You're still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You're still the one I kiss good night

Ain't nothin' better
We beat the odds together
I'm glad we didn't listen
Look at what we would be missin'

(Bridge)
(Chorus)
(Chorus)

I'm so glad we made it
Look how far we've come my baby