Tis The Season

It’s that time of year; temperatures are rising, birds are singing, plants are starting to grow and I start checking out my summer clothes. And so, while the world comes alive with all sorts of springy loveliness, I’m sulky and whiney.

Every year, I quickly realize that the clothes I so carefully put away last fall are in worse shape than I remember. The pants/capris are faded and I notice stains that I didn’t see last year. The shirts are sweat and sunscreen stained (does that ever come out? Seriously. Gross.) and more than a little grubby around the edges. And maybe more than a few years old.

The other day, I was getting dressed to teach a Pilates class, looked in the mirror and thought “Yikes. This is looking a little rough!” The knees of my pants were very faded, a little saggy around the butt and the shirts were pilling and droopy. I realized that I’d been wearing the same pants for um, 6 years and shirts for just over 2 and they were very sad.

And so, it begins. The spring hunt for clothes; a vicious battle involving a short, curvy, (hourglass some say) somewhat heavy than before nearing middle age woman and a fashion industry that assumes all petites are 85 with very, very long torsos, thick waists, no hips and even shorter legs than I have now. Though, good luck finding a well stocked petite section at any store. The stock and choice in the stores is diminishing and it’s hard not to feel abandoned, as though being petite is not important enough to warrant floor space.

The shirts are too long, and those are supposed to be the “petites”. Most of the pants gape at the waist while make my thighs look like a sausage in a casing. Oh, and then there’s the flood factor of the pants not quite reaching the top of my shoes. But if they’re not too short, they’re dragging on the ground.

And who designed the lighting and mirrors in those change rooms? Some kind of twisted circus hell bent on making grown women cry at the sight of all those fleshy dimples on their ass? I think so.

I’m not asking for much. Decent clothes that are not too hard on my budget. I’m not overly trendy or fashionable, but I don’t want to go out looking like a schlep either. Yeah, I could go to a tailor, but well, who has time or money for that? And oh yes, I love the higher end stores; Ann Taylor Loft makes me swoon, but well, I’m a stay at home Mom who is hard on her clothes, especially in the summer, so I have a reallllly hard time justifying $25 for a t-shirt. It’ll stain and fade just as fast as a $10 one.

However, since I can’t really walk around naked this spring and summer, (there’s not enough in the therapy budget for that!) I will continue to scope out the stores, ever hopeful that I’ll find a winning rack of pants that fit and shirts that don’t hit my knees and be able to put together an outfit or 2 that won’t make me feel like blue hair rinse and orthopedic sandals are requuired to make it complete.

Wish me luck.