Paps and Shells

So, here we are on day 2 of spring break. We’ve just spent a lovely spring morning with some friends at the local zoo. The week isn’t turning out to be as quiet as I’d hoped, but life is certainly moving at a slower pace. It’s nice not to be rushing out the door every morning and fighting over clothes, hair, food, chores before 8 am.

Yesterday, the girls and I spent most of the morning in our pajamas before donning our rain boots to slog around in our very soggy and muddy yard – playing in the cool sunshine and puddles, hanging last years’ plastic Easter eggs on our apple tree in the front yard and dreaming of getting the garden in in a few weeks.

Yesterday afternoon, Baboo and I had appointments for our annual checkups. I couldn’t really find anyone to watch Mouse during this time that wouldn’t be kind of a pain to organize, so I brought her with us. Both Baboo and I were weighed, measured and asked to don paper gowns. Mine did not have cute little teddy bears on it and kept gaping at the bust. Classy.

Baboo went first, getting the full scope of a 3 year well visit including a much worried about shot. It’s hard to feel like I have any shred of dignity discussing my daughter while wearing a gaping paper gown.

Then it was my turn. I hoped that the girls would be “busy” with their lollipops, Dora bandaids and coloring books so I could discuss more grown up health issues – though surprisingly, regardless of your age, you still have to talk about poop and pee.

So then it was time for the PAP. We tried not to make a big deal out of it and had the girls move up towards my head so as not to be in right in line of sight of all that business down there. It’s not that we’re overly modest in our family or have not discussed bodies and functions and names, but really that’s a lot of reality for a 5 and 3 year old. A pelvic exam and PAP are never comfortable, and at one point I did say “ouch” which worried Mouse a lot. When she saw the speculum and the doctor basically buried to her elbow, her eyes grew to the size of saucers as she figured out what was going on and unconsciously and protectively she lowered her hands. I assured her when I was done, that I was fine, and that it’s a part of staying healthy and that one day, when she was GROWN up she’d need to have this done too. She asked how old I was and said she’d wait until she was 35 before starting any of that. I laughed out loud. I wish that were true!

I got my script for a mammogram, a tetanus shot, orders to lose a bit of weight, take vitamin D and fish oil and was sent on my merry way. As I was taking off my gown and gathering my clothes, Baboo reached over to pass me my bra saying loudly, “Mommy, don’t forget to put your shells back on”.