Count Down at 10 PM... Kind of

So, today we were busy and I had a bunch of post ideas in my head and well, then my head rolled away and I still haven't found it. Have you ever seen the movie Robots where the character Bender loses his head and he keeps kicking it around - calling his own name and saying "OW" every time his feet kick him in the face? Yeah, it's been like that.

However... TOMORROW is a new day AND a New Year...all shiney and spanking new and pretty like. Oooooo. Aahhhhhh. And all these ideas in my head are going to get themselves organized and get crackin' already.

I'm hoping that tomorrow, I will hide in my bedroom for a good long time, maybe sleep, maybe eat some chocolate and guzzle a mountain of coffee and sleep some more and then find that head of mine. (hear heady, heady, heady!) Hey... maybe even write a post or two. A reflection on this past year or holidays? Plans for the future? Oh.... you just never know (and this post is the proof). At least you know not to have your expectations too high. (ha)

Until then, whenever you do your New Year's countdown - enjoy it. Tonight, we all petered out by 10:30 if not before, not that I'm known for making it to midnight... but that's ok. We're all tired and fried and Mum and Dad are back on the road tomorrow. *Sniff*

Regardless... I wish you a prosperous, peaceful and healthful 2009 filled to the brim with love, joy and laughter with a good dose of patience, fortitude and strength on the side - just in case.

Have a safe and happy evening....See you NEXT YEAR! (sorry, I couldn't resist. It's cheesy, I know)

Trouble Spot Tuesday Calendar

Since the end of 2008 is within spitting distance, it’s now time to think about 2009. Scary, I know. What the hell happened??? Where did this entire year GO? I have no idea. Regardless, it’s coming and for me, getting ready for the New Year involves setting up my calendar.

Pretty much every year someone gives me a calendar for Christmas – a paper one. This year I got to choose which one I wanted (thanks Mum) and chose a small spiral bound one. I like that I can bring it with me if I need it, but it has lots of space for me to have a monthly view, and weekly list. It also has space for a “To Do” list and grocery/meal plans. It’s awesome. I refer to my calendar a lot – like at least a few times a day so it’s important for it to be accurate and accessible as without it I’m toast.

I have YEARS, decades, worth of calendars saved. There’s lots of good information in there. It’s like my life in date form. I make notes about appointments, when we’ve had visits from friends and family, gone on vacations, got news about new babies being born, made phone calls, done classes, etc. The list goes on. I love looking back on all of those notations and reminiscing.

Every year, I sit down and transfer over all the birthdays anniversaries, pay days, appointments, meetings, holidays, etc. I love seeing the whole year fresh and ready before me and I feel connected to all the people who are on my calendar. However, remember to INCREASE ages by 1 year when you write them down or you will have nieces who are perpetually 4 and 6 years old (but they are not and kids in real life like you to know how old they are. Exactly.*Note to self, verify this information). Don’t forget to include your own birthday and maybe write down your age, because if you’re like me, you forget.

I’ve also made a list of all the birthday cards and gifts I need to get. I’m thinking that I’ll go out this week, while there are still toys/gifts on sale, and pick up a few and buy all the birthday cards I’ll need for the year. And then address them and have them ready to go. I’ve put a note on my calendar just over a week ahead to mail the appropriate card. That sounds like overkill to some degree, but I wish I could tell you the number of times I’ve remembered at the last minute that I need a card for someone and have to rush out to get one or scramble to put one together here at home. Hmm… maybe I’ll make some cards this year as well.

Ok, so I don’t have the cards organized yet, BUT my calendar is READY.

Now, if you’re into electronic calendars –there are lots of good ones out there I’m sure, but I can’t make any recommendations because they really don’t work for me so I don’t have a lot of experience here. I like my calendars to be tangible. I know there are some that have functions to email or message you when birthdays etc are coming up. If that works for you, go ahead and find one. No really – go. NOW. And let me know what you find because I’d be interested in this information.

And with the calendar being up to date, the sad neglect of my address book (uh, those scraps of paper shoved in an address book and emails saved from 1995 – yeah, they constitute my address book) has become apparent. So get ready, because we’re going to work on that next week.

MIA

I know, I’ve been MIA for a few days. Yes, we’ve been busy – we’ve been shopping, going to museums, playing games, cooking, eating, watching movies etc. Overall, it’s been good.
And if I could get my head attached to the rest of my body, I might actually have some good posts to write, but the last few days I feel like I’m in a fog. My brain is somewhere else; I want nothing more than to go and climb in a cave somewhere and sleep for a long time.

I don’t feel sick or unwell at all, just strangely disjointed from everyone and everything. It’s as though I’m doing everything in slow motion and clumsily to boot. It’s frustrating as I just can’t seem to shake it and I know I’m missing out on prime holiday action.

So, that’s why I haven’t been writing. I know I’m processing the things I’m going to need to do in the next few weeks. There are some big changes that will be happening over here at Casa de Lefty and we’ve got a really busy couple of months ahead of us (I’ve just done my calendar for next year and Jan-Feb are booked solid!). I’m not really ready for all that’s going to be going on, but in my tortoise like way, I’m getting there. My Mum has been a big help in getting me ready. I miss the energy and drive I had before Christmas. I NEED it back. If anyone has seen it, could you send it to me please??

That said – despite me feeling like I’m running with bricks on my feet through a swamp, I walloped the gang at Yatzee last night! I don’t often win board/card games, cos well, I suck, but last night I hit a streak and won by a huge margin. Yeah, I had to brag about that. I know it’ll never happen again and I don’t care. It was great. Ha! I think I even did a little dance.

And while my brain is on vacation – check out Couple Bit – my dearest friend Becprints blog. She’s rockin’ it out right now with some fabulous posts.

The Clatter of Hippos

My folks bought a last minute gift for the girls which turned into a huge piece of childhood nostalgia for me. When I was talking to my brother on the phone yesterday, I told him what they bought and he started howling with laughter and said “Mum bought that???”
That game, which my Mum hated when we were kids because my brother and I would play it for hours on end. We yelled, added the marbles from the Chinese checkers game and clattered and banged away for hours. Maybe it’s a revenge thing.

That’s right…

Hungry Hungry Hippos.

This morning we pulled it out of the box, set it all up and clattered away for a good ½ an hour. It was just as noisy and just as much fun as I remembered and I haven’t lost my touch after all these years. Hehe. Baboo loved it because she could play too and was pretty good at it. Of course, she still wants to put the marbles in her mouth, but we’re working on it. Maybe she thinks she’s one of the hungry hippos?? Mouse has claimed the pink Hippo as her own and Hubster feels a particular affinity for the one named “Homer” – the green one I think.

I see many noisy hours ahead of us and maybe I’ll be like my Mum and eventually hide it because if I have to hear that clattering banging for one more minute I’ll shove a hot poker in my eyeball, but for now, its’ fun. And for the record, I don’t know what happened to the old game we used to have.

Speaking of my Mum, despite our best hopes, she was really not well all day yesterday. She got up to open gifts with us, but then spent most of the rest of the day in bed resting. Apparently stomach bugs are going around this holiday – poor Mir over at Woulda Coulda Shoulda was in the hospital.

Mum is feeling wiped from being through the wringer, but a bit better today. We held off our roast Beast until today and had Chinese last night. I’ve just put the beef in the oven, have the potatoes for garlic mashed potatoes, green beans, for green beans with almonds and brown butter (yum), Dad’s homemade pickled beets, and pumpkin pie for dessert waiting in the wings.

I’m watching Polar Express with Mouse while Baboo and Mum are resting and generally we’re all taking it easy today, but I have a feeling things will be getting a leeetle bit noisier once everyone is up again. (clacka, clacka, wacka, wacka, clack, bang)

Merry Christmas!

Good morning! Merry Christmas!! After days of rain, heavy winds and freezing rain, this morning we are greeted with glorious sunshine, calm winds and tolerable temperatures.

Yesterday was an odd day with all of us feeling cooped up and cranky. The weather was nasty so the girls, my parents and I headed to a local museum; which was surprisingly quiet. We enjoyed listening to a history of Christmas carols sung by 2 talented musicians, rode the Christmas train a few times and just pleasantly passed a good chunk of Christmas eve day.

Last night, we enjoyed our delicious appetizer dinner, played some WII and read some of our favorite Christmas books before putting out cookies and milk for Santa and carrots for the reindeer and heading to bed.

Every year that we get to play Santa, I feel a connection to how to my parents must have felt when they used to be “Santa” for us. I could hardly sleep (but did) last night because I was so excited for the girls.

My Dad was the first up this morning at 6:30 and good man that he is, he had the coffee ready for the rest of us. Mouse was up shortly after, about 7, and she wanted to get everyone up to see if Santa came. She insisted on getting fully dressed in her Christmas dress, tights with her hair done before making her entrance.

Mouse was right into the whole shredding of the paper and shrieking over gifts. The highlights for her were: stuffed Eva (from the movie Wall-E), princess sled, dress up clothes, pink Landsend dress, globe, and many craft items. We’ll be busy for months to come!

Baboo saw the Little Tykes Cozy Coupe and nothing else. Several hours later, she isn’t out of the car. I imagine she’ll still be there until she’s 5 or so. She shoved a few small stocking stuffers into the little trunk of it and just sat in there. It’s really cute actually. The tiny baby doll is also popular, but she plays with it with one hand on the car.

In my effort to train them to be Cinderella’s I bought a kid sized vacuum, mop and broom. I hope it pays off in a few months and I won’t have to do any more cleaning. Mouuuhahahahhahaah. (evil laugh).

Hubster has just finished putting together his rolling tool boxes, which Mouse has just filled with the pink plastic princess tea set. (He’s trying to decide if this makes it less manly).

Me, I’ve received a lovely warm hat knit with alpaca wool, a new mouse, a kitchen knife and new coffee maker and toaster oven. My best friend B from Couple Bit made me a beautiful bracelet that fits perfectly; so unfortunately, I won’t have to come back for a custom fitting. (Thank you. I love it)

Thank you to our friends and families who took the time to send us these lovely gifts. While we feel that Christmas isn’t about the gifts, we certainly appreciate and enjoy each and every one. That you took the time and effort to do this for us means a lot.

We’ve talked on the phone with the rest of our families – feeling sad that we can’t be with everyone but grateful that we have the ability to talk to them so quickly. We miss you!

Unfortunately, my Mum hasn’t been feeling well since last night. She’s resting now and we hope that she’s feeling better soon.

So, as we sift through the Christmas carnage, get dressed, play with our new things, enjoy each other’s company, get dinner ready and generally bask the in holiday revelry; know that we are thinking of all of you and wishing you peace, joy, good health and love on this special day and every day. Merry Christmas!

Trouble Spot Tuesday: Command Central

It’s a curse and a blessing to have a desk space in the kitchen. It was a big selling feature for me when we bought our house this fall. I would have an easily accessible place for the files I access daily (bills, etc), my laptop, cook books, calendar, etc. I call this area Command Central.
The downfall is that this area becomes the repository for ALL the junk in the house. And being the pit/pile people that we are, papers, crafts, bills, broken toys, meat containers (don’t ask), camera, cell phones, cords etc all get piled up so high you can’t find a damn thing without the whole mess falling on the floor. Usually I have to shove a pile of junk out of the way on each side of my computer so I can put my coffee down on one side and actually USE the mouse on the other. And I lose things. Important things.

And, it’s not like I can close a door on this area and pretend it doesn’t exist. It’s in the middle of my kitchen, which is the middle of my house. Fully exposed for ALL to see.

So in the past, I’ve just shoved things in drawers, bins, contains, cupboards and considered it out of sight; out of mind. Until I really need something and tear the whole thing apart to find a phone number written on a sticky note that is “somewhere’. Yeah, um, it wasn’t really working.
So with Christmas and guests coming, it was time to get this mess not only cleaned up, but actually organized in a way that that made sense, and more to the point, in a way that I could maintain.

I was reluctant to start this job because I knew it was going to take a long time. I started at 8 on Saturday night and didn’t finish until 11:30. Yes, it took THAT long.

The Problems:

Too many junk drawers with too much junk
Files and papers all over the place and not organized with no set “place” for them
Piles/groups of “things” without a specified home
Too much clutter on the desk
Too lazy to put things away properly

The Process:

I was not allowed to buy anything for this project. I had to use what I had.

First, things first, I sat down and made a list of all the things that needed to be in Command Central. Anything else had to find a home elsewhere. Then I made “zones” – homes for everything. I looked at my space and decided what I needed to be most accessible and then sorted out all the stuff into groups.

I had:

Cords/chargers
Stationary (cards, envelopes, etc)
Cookbooks/cooking magazines
Computer disks/books
Tools
Files
School binders/information
Printer paper
Bills/receipts/budget info
Batteries
Actual “junk” that needed to be kept
Office supplies (pens, markers, scissors, tape, stapler, paper clips etc)
A pile of broken toys and things that needed to be fixed
Note books and “Lists”

Once I sorted everything out, I decided that everything needed a “home”; a place where it belonged and needed to live when not in use. Another goal was to have as little on the desk as possible. I’m learning that clutter breeds clutter. The more you have the more it “grows” –making little “clutter babies” when you’re not looking.

I had some kitchen drawer organizers that I wasn’t using and after hacking at a few with an exacto-knife and hammer (yes, I still have all my fingers) I was able to cut them to the right size to fit in the drawers.

I designated one drawer as an “office supply” drawer. I used a tiered kitchen drawer organizer with a sliding top level to hold tacks, extra pens, scissors, tape, paper clips etc. That’s ALL that’s in there. I had a bunch of small Tupperware containers half filled with mixed up screws, tacks, paperclips, screw heads and the like. I took the time to clean them out, threw a bunch of junk out, and sorted it, again, into groups. These are all neatly separated into compartments so I can see what I have and everything has a place where it belongs.

Another drawer became the stationary/cords drawer. I used a small standing file holder to hold my envelopes. I used one drawer from the small drawer unit that was on my desk to hold any note cards I had. A small basket was perfect to hold the cords and chargers for the camera, cell phones, etc. I also had room to tuck in the phone book. I had extra phone books; too many, in fact. I recycled a few duplicates and put the extras upstairs in the office. I don’t use them often, so they could be considered “archive” material.

The long, skinny drawer became the “junk” type drawer. I was able to use a drawer spice organizer that didn’t work in another drawer for this. I had to hack a big chunk of this off (because it was cheap and poorly designed and there was a lot of wasted space) to get it to fit. At one end of the drawer, I used this organizer. It has 4 “compartments”. 1 was for stamps, another for small tools (multi-head screwdriver, allen key, pliers), another for small electronics (usb keys etc) and the last was for just for small junky things – which we all have but must be contained and limited. I have extra outlet covers here and some shelf supports for the cupboards etc. I used a small Tupperware container for sticky notes. The girls had taken almost all of them apart, but I didn’t want to throw them out, so they were no longer a nice neat cube, nor were they as easy to store. The other end of the drawer was for my disks and computer manual etc.

Onto the cupboards! The cookbooks largely went untouched as they were already together in one spot and I used some magazine boxes I already had to hold the magazines. I also used this area to store some other household books I have – a cleaning book, a health reference book and I set up a magazine box to hold any articles/papers/paint chips etc for decorating ideas. I LABELLED these boxes so that I can see immediately what’s in them.

The big double door cupboard, was a bit of an issue for me to get sorted out. I already had a small, portable hanging file box, and that worked well, when I actually PUT the papers in it. So, I sorted through the paper, got the files in the order I wanted and we were good. A magazine box holds my receipts and budget book. I was able to get the first shelf, which holds my “need on a daily basis” stuff sorted out in a way that I had room to put my small printer in there. I HATED looking at it on my desk and it took up too much room. From the shelf, I’m able to just drop the cables down and plug it in to use it. I have a spot on the other shelves for printer paper and extra note books. Another magazine box on the top shelf is designated for appliance, furnace manuals etc. And the top shelf also holds the binders for Mouse’s school.

On the desk, there is very little. The phone, my laptop, a cup for pens and one magazine box to hold things that must be dealt with immediately. I put a little sticky note on the front with a short “to do” list. As things are finished, they are taken out of this box and marked off the list. I have a note book in here that that has running lists – groceries, to buy lists, that sort of thing. I also have my calendar on the desk as I usually refer to it several times a day.

At the end of this, I got the glue out and actually fixed a bunch of the broken stuff. I glued the head back on Joseph from our Nativity scene, repaired the broken doll house furniture and ahem, tossed a few things that were not worth fixing.

The Result:

The result is that I have a really workable space that doesn’t look like a bomb went off on it. We had company tonight and despite having done this project a few days ago, needed to do almost nothing in order to make it company-presentable.

Yesterday a bill came in and I paid it right away, then, put the bill in the appropriate folder. I also needed my check book and was able to find it immediately without scrambling through a tangle of junk. AND, I put it away immediately where it belonged, instead of sitting it on the desk to be dealt with later. I didn’t feel annoyed because I couldn’t get to the files, or overwhelmed because I didn’t know where to put things and I didn’t feel like being “lazy” was an excuse.

I also have space to spare. I have one completely empty drawer and room on my shelves.

A big part of this process was really thinking this through – I had to decide what I really needed in this area, how I access it, how to set it up so that everything has a home, and then I needed to think about how I can retrain my brain to actually PUT things back. I know, to many people, all of this seems really basic and you’re wondering why I’m so stupid. While I certainly have my less than stellar intellectual moments, this kind of “logical flow” work isn’t second nature to me. I have to THINK about it. I have to live in the trenches for a while before I can figure out the smoothest way for things to run. When I’m slapping things together in a half-assed way because it “works” for now and because I’m feeling too pressured by the rest of my life to follow through, and feeling overwhelmed by the thought of dealing with the whole thing, it often bites me in the behind. It becomes too complicated, too messy and impossible to maintain. And then it’s a big job to sort it all out.

While these systems that I’m setting up ARE working, it’s not just because they exist. They’re working because I’m training myself to use them. Its’ work and I do still have to think about it before I do it and continually remind the rest of the family to follow through as well. I’m hoping that as everyone sees how much more smoothly things are running, it’ll become second nature to just do it this way. While no one else might get a thing out of trouble spot Tuesdays, I’m feeling like I can take one task at a time, focus on it and get it done. It feels really good to start having things simplified and WORKING!

Highly Embarrassing Before Shots.

The Desk Area: Believe it or not, this got worse before it got better. Way, way worse.



More annoying little junk collectors that hide the things you can never find again. Yes, those are folded up stockings on there.

The double door cupboard, in all it's glory. Oy.

This was the result a few days later after I tried to find Mouse's bird watching chart for school, 2 minutes before we had to be out the door. I literally tore the desk apart trying to find it. It was buried in a bunch of bills and junk paper.

The Happily Ever After: (insert choir singing here...)



The "Junk" drawer:



The Cords/Stationary Drawer:



The Office Supply Drawer:



The Cupboard:

Breakfast is the Most Important Meal...

unless you are my daughter(s). In which case, unless it’s made by McDonalds or IHOP (which are very special treats that happen once in a blue moon) you refuse to eat breakfast of any kind, even non-breakfast foods.

But, then at 10 am you suddenly realize you are STARVING, throw an enormous tantrum because you have no energy left and then scarf down half a cupboard of snacks.

And then, if you are ME, you go into the bathroom and bang your head against the wall because if I don’t’ I’m going to scream “JUST EAT SOMETHING ALREADY!” and scar the children for life by going all ape-shit 'n all. Maddening. Absolutely, maddening.

Oh, I’ve tried it all. Typical breakfast foods like: cereal, toast, waffles ,yogurt, smoothies, granola/cereal bars… POPTARTS for pete’s sake. I bought Poptarts and tried to get my kids to eat them (which was fundamentally wrong in my mind, but I was desperate). We’ve tried non-breakfast foods like mac&cheese, tortillas, hotdog, cheese/crackers, pizzas and leftovers. I’ve tried bribes and rewards (I know, I suck). I’ve tried not mentioning breakfast at all and/or saying “If you’re hungry, you can get yourself something”. But that feels a bit negligent to me considering how young the girls are.

Some days I resort to almost begging them to drink even a small glass of milk – with CHOCOLATE or STRAWBERRY syrup in it, just to give them some fat/calories. Some days, like today, I sneak in some Carnation Instant Breakfast and mix in extra chocolate syrup. But most days it doesn’t work.

I've tried making breakfast part of the routine of what we do, at about the same time, every day. Get up, dress, eat, brush teeth/hair, get ready for school (shoes on etc). No tv until all of that is done and ready to go. I can't get them into the breakfast groove. I was hoping to train their brains/stomachs into thinking "now we need to EAT". I've tried giving them choices and just saying "THIS is what is for breakfast". Again, all to no avail. Or at least, not to any consistent resolution.

The other day Mouse ate 1, yes, 1 mini-wheat, and had 4 tiny sips of milk - the equivalent of about 3 tablespoons. Baboo had ½ a class of milk (probably like a ¼ of a cup) and 3 mini-wheats.

Yes , I know they have small stomachs and I don’t expect them to sit down and eat a mountain of food (though some days they eat so much it makes me sick to watch them) – but don't they need to eat more than that???

Until this year, I didn’t really care that my girls weren’t breakfast eaters. We could go with the flow and they could eat when they needed to. I know some people really CAN’T eat breakfast and I try to respect that.

However, this year, Mouse started preschool 3 mornings a week and snack isn’t until 11 am. She starts to get clingy and homesick at about 10:00 on the mornings when she won’t eat anything and I know it’s because she’s hungry.

I know that many children/diet experts tell us let them “eat when we’re hungry” – the whole “grazing” theory, but you know, sometimes our lives are not set up to allow us to do that. I understand where Mouse is coming from when she says she “can’t” eat and yet, at the same time; I understand that her teacher can’t just allow the kids to eat whenever they want. It would be so disruptive to the whole class.

My girls are tiny, Mouse is 4.5, has JUST reached 30 lbs, and wears a size 3T. She is the smallest in her class by a lot. She’s barely at the 5 %ile on the “charts”. New doctors panic when I take her in for checkups. People often tell me how well she can talk because they assume that she is 2 or 3. Most are stunned and embarrassed when she indignantly announces that she is 4 and BIG – thankyouverymuch.

Baboo is also tiny. She’s 20 months old, but is about the size of a 12m old (I’m saying that because we’re around a few babies that just turned 1 and they are the same size). She’s below the growth charts. She’s just over 20 lbs. People are often surprised by my very mobile, talkative infant. Ahahah. Oy.

Both girls were of average weight when they were born – within 2 onz of each other actually. They grew very well until 9 months then dropped off the charts. I know that a slow down at that point is typical for breastfed babies, but when Mouse didn’t really grow or gain weight for 8 months nearly pushed our previous, very calm natured pediatrician over the edge.

Hubster and I are not big people, so it’s unlikely that our girls will be big. We’ve already been warned that puberty will likely be delayed for both girls. (Not that I’m against that!). Any time we change pediatricians, the new doctors panic that our girls are so small and tell us to push MILK, PROTEIN, heck, even give them ICE CREAM.

They have no problem eating sweets. They would happily eat ice cream and chocolate and gummy bears all day if I was willing to do so, but that’s not realistic.

And really, most days breakfast is the biggest battle of the day, they do seem to eat some lunch and dinner pretty willingly. And I offer regular snacks as well. As much as I can I try to do meals around the times that I know they will eat, but it doesn’t always work out that way.

So, where am I going with this post, other than just ranting out of frustration? I AM ranting, but I’m also looking for balance; thinking out loud and trying to find a solution.

I’m trying very hard not to make this an issue because I know that if Mouse senses that I’m trying to pressure her to eat, she’ll dig her heels in harder just because she can. And Baboo, sees what Mouse does and copies it. I can’t MAKE them eat, as much as I want them to and as much as they really need to. When either of them get to the point of the 10 am hunger meltdown, I make a point of saying “your body is telling you that you are hungry and maybe next time we’ll try to have something to eat BEFORE you get to this point”. I’m trying to encourage healthy living by making healthy food choices, having all things in moderation and hopefully guiding them to follow their own hunger cutes by eating when hungry and stopping when full. We talk about this; how important it is for our bodies and I try to set an example by living this way as much as I can.

But it’s hard, so hard, when we have to get out the door in the morning because, well, we can’t hang around in our pjs until 10 am and then have a leisurely breakfast. Or when I really don’t have it in me to go the 9 rounds when it comes to the hunger tantrums. It’s hard to know what the balance is: how much to push vs they live and learn (natural consquences)?

I hope that it “clicks” soon for Mouse, in particular, that she needs to have at least a little something on her stomach to help her get through her mornings. Next year she starts school every day and the thought of this battle every morning is enough to make me cry.

Rest In Peace

When we lived in Eastcoast-ville, the girls and I would walk to a nice playground about 15 minutes away a few times a week. We met many people there and in fact formed a playgroup of some of the best friends I’ve ever had in my life there.

There was one woman I didn’t get to know well, but I saw her or her children almost every time I was at the park. As Mom’s do at the park, when we’d see each other, we’d say hello and chat about our kids. A few times, we sat and talked while our kids played together. She had 2 kids; a boy and a girl; and truly they were great kids. As though its’ freeze-framed in my head, I can almost completely recall a conversation we had one sunny afternoon, munching cookies at the picnic table in the shade of the big oak tree, while our kids practiced hitting baseballs, at least 2 years ago. After that conversation I wished to have the chance to know her better. She was funny, smart, honest, sharp witted, opinionated (in a good way) and one of the most patient and kind mothers’ I’ve ever met.

She lived close to the park, so I’d see her often. We’d wave, I’d always say hi to her kids when I saw them but, we never really got the chance to connect again.

Then a friend, who knew her quite well, told me that she had had a rare throat cancer, but beat it. However, shortly after meeting her I learned that her cancer was back – in her hip. Then her liver, then it was gone. Then it came back and it was spreading fast and attacked her brain with a ferocity that took our breath away.

Before we moved, I had signed Mouse up to start preschool. It was a busy preschool that was filling up fast and I was hoping for a spot in a morning class. There was one spot that might have been available, so I was put on a waiting list. After talking to the director, she told me that the child’s mother whose spot we might be taking was very ill and they weren’t sure if he was going to be attending. I realized immediately who she was talking about and felt a little sick to know I could be taking her son’s spot.

After we moved I followed her treatment, care and progress on Care Pages. In October, she went home. She likely didn’t have much time left.

The other day I was thinking so strongly about her that I went to check her site, but there weren’t any updates. Though it broke my heart to do so, I Googled her name for an obituary. Again, I didn’t find anything.

This morning there is an email with an update from her husband. She passed away last night with her family and friends by her side.

Though I have already cried many times, for this woman I don’t know very well, and I don’t even know if she remembered me, I’m crying again this morning. My heart cries for her family. In sadness, it cries thinking of all they’ve been through this year; of all she’s had to endure. In unfairness, it cries thinking of 2 children without their mother. In relief, it cries because she’s not suffering any more. In frustration, it cries because it seems as though this world should not have lost this special person. And, selfishly (and guiltily), I’m looking at my girls and crying; knowing there are no guarantees.

Keep this family in your thoughts and prayers. Send them strength to get through the holiday and the weeks and months ahead.

Rest in peace, Laura. I hope you know your special spirit has touched many people’s lives.

Salon Mommy

Today was the first time I’ve ever cut Mouse’s hair. She needed her bangs trimmed and lately the hair places have been cutting them too short and in the interest of saving a few bucks, I figured why not?

We had to make a big production about it so that it was a like a REAL salon, because there’s nothing this girl likes better than an “occasion”!

She hopped up onto my desk chair, which raises/lowers. We dramatically draped a “cape” (aka towel) around her. I spritzed her bangs and got ready to start snipping.

She says: Well m’am, I didn’t know you worked here.

Me: I just opened.

She: Oh, that’s very nice. (she’s already better at salon small talk than I am)

Me: Since you are the first customer of “Salon Mommy” this will cost you a million dollars.

She: (will all seriousness) Ok, if do a good job.

Ahahahahahaha.

I take her over to the mirror to inspect my work. She says, (because she’s so humble) “I look fabulous!” and reaches behind her to her imaginary pocketbook and hands me my imaginary million dollars. I guess that is what I get for being an imaginary hair dresser.

And for the record… her bangs turned out just fine.

Apparently I've Made the Source of All Evil

Remember when I made my list of “things to do before Christmas”? Yes, I keep referring to it. Well, one of the things was to determine what baking to do this year.

I made the gingerbread men, I’ll likely make cheese cake for Christmas dinner (because that’s what we do) and I think I want to try a bread pudding. We went to a restaurant once, a while ago, and had an AMAZING bread pudding with a whisky cream sauce that knocked our socks off. The food itself wasn’t much to write home about, but this dessert? One of the best I’ve ever had at a restaurant. Ever. I think I drooled just thinking about it. Mmmmmm….

Huh, where was I? Oh yeah! Holiday baking! When my Mum is here next week we’re going to make butter tarts . It’s not Christmas for us unless we have butter tarts. This year, we’re going to make mini ones for our Christmas Eve finger food extravaganza. When I asked Hubster if he wanted me to make anything in particular, he said right away: Nanaimo bars. These embody Christmas for him, and really, I don’t know too many Canadian holiday celebrations that don’t include a pan of these bars.

What are Nanaimo bars? What? You don’t KNOW? Oy.

See the link above for the long history of these bars. Here is the short version: The base is a mix of butter, cocoa, nuts, sugar and coconut. The filling is almost a custard, with 100% more butter – it’s made of icing sugar, cream, butter, and custard powder (almost impossible to get here in the States) or vanilla pudding mix. The topping is chocolate, and you guessed it, more butter. I guess we Canadians like a lot ‘o butter in our holiday treats.

You don’t bake this bar at all, it’s done in layers that are refrigerated. The top gets hard, the filing stays creamy and the base is nice and chewy. It really is a neat dessert; but rich. How could it not be with almost a pound of butter in it?

I made these 2 years ago and I wasn’t really thrilled with how they turned out. The recipe I used was way too sweet and the filling seemed gritty. I searched through a few and found this gem of a web site:

http://mennonitegirlscancook.blogspot.com/

I used their recipe and the bars turned out really well. (Note: if you use this recipe – it doesn’t tell you the exact weight of chocolate to use for the topping – after consulting some other recipes, I used 4 ounces. It worked really well). I liked that the egg in the base got cooked a bit in the microwave, so I didn't have to worry about RAW eggs in food I'd serve to children or have to go through the hassle of finding egg powder.

I enjoyed reading through some of their recipes and will definitely go back there again.

ANYWAY… since these bars are so rich we do not need a whole pan of them in our house, I plan to pass some onto the neighbours and Hubster took some into work to share with his co-workers. He offered them up and within minutes received a call from a friend that just said “These are the source of all evil. Wow. Can I have the recipe?”.

Here is the recipe:
http://mennonitegirlscancook.blogspot.com/search?q=nanaimo+bars

So go ahead and whip up a batch of these babies, eat them until you’re sick and give the rest away. It’s a Canadian tradition.

Some of the Best Advice I Ever Received

It’s no secret to those who know me; I’m a typical “cancer”. When things get tough, I hide out in my shell, shuffle back and forth and worry myself to death. I freak out for a little bit (ok a lot) and carry on like an award winning Drama Queen – foot stamping, whining, wailing, and hysterics – the whole gambit. I know, really mature.

And then, usually, once I get that out of my system, I can listen to reason and formulate a plan.
The thing is, though, that I’m good at making “plans”; I just suck at following through. I’m good at collecting information. I can often see the big picture and all points of view around me, I can see where I want to go or what I want to do, I just have a hard time getting there. I get stuck in ruts… a lot. I think I’m getting better at getting out of them, though it still seems to be a difficult process for me.

Along the journey of my 30-mumble-something years, I’ve gotten to know and meet many wonderful, interesting people. I’ve received lots of advice – some good, some not so good, and had the chance to learn from many people’s experiences.

When I was 17, I had the good fortune to study abroad for a year. The transition to a different lifestyle/country/continent was not an easy one. I had a hard time adjusting and fitting in and struggled to figure out what I was supposed to be doing. Before I left, I was at the top of my class. I was a good student and generally a good kid, but was tangled up in a web of relationship weirdness, poor self image and highly intensified teenage angst.

And while it may seem like shipping me off to another country by myself for a whole year was an insane thing to do, it actuality it was the best thing that ever happened to me. One of the best things I CHOSE to do and am grateful that it was a choice that was available to me and I certainly understand the sacrifices of the many people who helped me get there and make it through that year.

I was able to gain some independence and learn some self reliance, find some humility, discover some inner strength and self respect. However, it took almost the whole year for me to get it together. I spent a lot of time in a state of “lost”. It was hard, but I know that that year helped me to become a better person and I’m sure it saved me in many ways.

While I was there, I took physics class at an all girls school (another huge adjustment) with a very outspoken woman (whom, in retrospect I’m sure was a lesbian – not that it matters, just an observation). She was hip and smart and sharp as a tack. She used to wear a badge that said “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle”. At the time I thought that was hilarious. Ok, it still is funny.

I was struggling in her class, in most of my classes actually, and not because I wasn’t smart enough or didn’t pay attention. I was so caught up in myself – worrying about everything, feeling lonely, and lamenting the fact that it felt like I was wasting my time “studying” because none of my courses would transfer over when I returned home to my old high school. I couldn’t see why I should bother doing anything if it didn’t “count”. I was hiding in my shell, shuffling back and forth in the sand, wringing my hands and fretting.

This teacher was the first to call me on my wallowing. She held me back one day after class and told me plain as day that I was too smart to waste this whole year, she knew I could do the work, knew I understood the material and hell, maybe I’d even learn something that may not give me a grade but that might be USEFUL at some point in the “rest of my life” that would happen after high school. She told me to “Remove my digit from my anus and get on with my life. Live it, not wallow in it”.

At first, being the drama queen that I am, I pouted, sulked and was HIGHLY offended. How DARE anyone say that to me!? ME???!!! But then I realized she was right. I needed to stop wallowing, stop shuffling from side to side and get on with it already. It was the start of the turning point in my year abroad – it opened my eyes, made me braver and helped to put myself out there and try new things.

Years later, I value that advice more than ever. I’m learning that BALANCE is worrying enough to be cautious, informed enough to make good decisions whenever possible, but removing my digit from my anus so I can move forward and get things done.

So, if you hear a loud “popping” noise in the next few weeks, that’ll just be me, removing my pointer from my nether regions in order to get moving on a few things I’ve been dragging my heels on.

Kickin My Own Butt

Ever have one of those moments where you wonder what the heck happened to your brain?

That was me tonight. Oh, what a night (and not in the good way, like the song goes).

Tonight was Mouse’s school holiday party. My girls hear the word “party” and instantly out come the sparkly dresses, “matching” tights and “princess” hair (which usually just involves wearing a hair band across the forehead). My girls LOVE a party of any kind.

It’s been a long day of “is it time for the party, yet?” and “Mama, I looked at the clock and it says xyz. Does that mean it’s time to go to the party?”

We organized the veggie tray. Got the cheese and dips ready. Put out the fancy crackers.

For the last week I have been painting 300 popsicle sticks brown. Then assembling 100 little brown popsicle stick triangles. Cutting, tying and looping ribbon over 100 little brown popsicle stick triangles. Counting 200 googly eyes and 100 pompoms. All this to make ADORABLE reindeer ornaments for 100 children. I made these last year with Mouse and they turned out so cute. I knew they'd be perfect for this holiday party. I mean really, LOOK at them. (they're from last year's Parenting magazine)

Of course, you know I was asking for it. Just ASKING for it.

Just as the girls and I were finishing getting dressed, the phone rang. Hubster was supposed to be on his way home and I just *knew* something was wrong. The roads are icy here tonight, so I was picturing the worst – an accident.

Of course, I missed the call because the upstairs phone decided to take a vacation and not turn on (despite being charged) and the downstairs phone went on strike in protest and decided not to dial out, so calling him back was a stressful endeavor. You can imagine the profane language that came out of my mouth. I finally found my cell phone in the pit that is known as my purse. I was able to get a hold of Hubster. Turns out he’s stuck in slow moving traffic , the car is chugging and the engine light is on. My stomach sinks as I realize I might have to tell Mouse that we might not be able to make it to the party tonight.

I decide to tell Mouse right away that we might not be able to make it. Of course she is devastated and I don’t blame her. Baboo just keeps asking “Why Mouse cryin’?” There is nothing sadder than a little girl, dressed in her red Christmas dress with sparkly belt,red and white snowflake tights and a green head band across her forehead, sobbing her heart out because she won’t be able to go to the much anticipated party.

In a panic, I call around to people who live close to me to see if they can at least take the food and craft to the party. I find someone and figure we’re good. I move onto consoling a heart broken Mouse.

Finally, Hubster makes it home, 45 minutes late. We look up in the car book what the light could mean and decide it’s not that big of a deal, waffle around about what to do, call the president of our school to see if the party has been cancelled (it’s not) and then say, OK, Let’s just GO. I cancel the emergency delivery, scramble to get on coats and boots . I tell Hubster to put the stuff by the door into the car as I rush around turning lights off and making sure we’re good to go.
Hubster yells “Are you coming?” from the garage as he’s buckling the kids in. I race out and lock the door.

We drive slowly and carefully and still make it in time to help finish setting up. As we’re getting out of the car and trying not to wipe out on the ice, I notice only 1 box and 1 bag in the trunk. I see food, I see paper plates… I don’t’ see…. ARGH! With another sinking feeling I realize that a weeks’ worth of work is sitting in a paper bag somewhere in my house. Somehow we forgot the $%@* ornaments.

ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!

Fortunately, there was plenty to keep the kids busy – cookie decorating, lemonade, snacks, Christmas cards and just general running around. My girls, and most of the kids had a great time regardless. The extra craft wasn't really missed, however, I was bummed that I did all that work and that the kids wouldn’t get to make these cute crafts tonight. Sigh.

I felt crummy because I had suggested this craft and everyone thought it was a great idea. I realize that I moved the bag when I was checking to make sure everything was in there, it wasn’t by the door for Hubster to load into the car and in my hurry I missed it as well.

So I spent the evening kicking my own butt and feeling stupid for not double checking.
I’m still feeling flustered and foolish – though I know this kind of thing happens. I hope the car is fine tomorrow because I’m participating in Mouse’s class, and it’s extended day so we’ll be there late. Hubster has to go into work early by CAB because we’re just not willing to risk him driving into the city. I guess we need to take the car in to see what the heck is going on with the car.

I’ve emailed the teachers of the school to let them know that there will be all the supplies for a super cute craft in the class room. Here’s hoping they get used. Otherwise, maybe I’ll make them and sell them for $10/pc on eBay! Ahahaha. Yeah, I know.

I need a drink. And a chocolate. And to go to bed. Oy.

Trouble Spot Tuesday: The Office Edition

Ok, so remember when I wrote this… Note where I said that I would have the office sorted out by December 13. Review. Discuss amongst yourselves. I’ll wait.

Well, I actually did it and finished on the 13th. I wasn’t able to manage 30 minutes a day, but instead took 2 weekends. Not the WHOLE weekend, but a good part of 2 afternoons. It really was a mess. Having just moved, sold a house, then bought a new house with all the related paperwork and accumulated junk that accompanies those things, we had a lot of paper to sort out.

I moved my files from the old metal 2 drawer file cabinet to a larger 3 drawer file cabinet. Everything is organized by drawer and labeled so I can find it. I have a hard time throwing things away, especially paperwork, because I keep convincing myself that ONE DAY the “identity” police are going to come and want to know if I had insurance on my 1989 Mercury Topaz back in 1996. Stupid, I know.

However, I’m very proud that I was able to produce, what is now affectionately known as Mount Shredmore. And, funnily enough, this is not the first time this year I’ve produced a huge pile for shredding. This is about the 3rd or 4th time. Scary, I know. I do shred all receipts and any mail that comes with our name on it (esp. credit card offers etc), so it’s not ALL old filing.

I’m planning one evening this week to get out “old shreddy” (actually, this is “new” shreddy because I wore old shreddy out) and work my way through Mount Shredmore. I have to do it when the kids aren’t awake because they are fascinated by it and I can’t stop my overactive imagination from panicking and picturing their adorable little fingers turning into pulp.

So, I kept one bill from each of the utilities and insurance from our old house – and have done the same for any place that we’ve ever lived, just to have it as a record. Obviously I have all of our tax returns and assorted documentation. I have sorted receipts and manuals for any big purchases or electronics. I keep almost all the receipts and manuals for any baby/kid gear have because I know a lot of these things can be passed on or sold and I like to include the manuals as well. We also kept medical information, new and old mortgage papers, insurance information, etc. The basics really.

Hubster sorted out a bunch of his electronics and computer stuff (he’s IT, he can’t help himself from hording) and actually got rid of a bunch of stuff. Stunning, I know. We cleaned out the cds and condensed them down to one storage case that is divided by drivers/backups/programs. Hubster also hung some his pictures. It looks like a REAL office.

I sorted out the book shelf and cleaned the closet up as well. Hubster sort of rearranged things on his desk a bit and growled at me, like a dog protecting his dinner bowl, when I tried to tidy his desk up further. We don’t always work well together, but he’s very protective of his desk. Fortunately, I don’t need to use his computer much anymore now that I have my own so I choose not to fuss too much about the desk area. The whole point of this the office is that it is meant to be his “man space”. However, to a small degree it is a shared space, so I can keep the part that I need to use tidy.

The result is that we can find our respective things, generally things are out of boxes; except for those that belong in boxes, we can see the floor and there isn’t an inch thick layer of dust on everything.

It feels good to have actually accomplished something I set out to do and my Mum, whom I’m sure nodded and said “Mmm,hmmm, yeah. Like THAT will get happen” when I said I was going to get the office done before they arrived, (she knows me well) will be stunned by its’ orderliness on Sunday. That’s if the germies that are threatening to take over our house don’t knock her out at the front door.

I do feel positive that I can maintain this area. This is more like the “archive” area, a place where I store files I don’t need access to very often.

Before Photos. (I know, you think we're total slobs)









After Photos:


Closet After: note the bulging file box of paper to be shredded aka: Mount Shredmore


The bookshelf all pretty like.

In my kitchen, I have a desk area that is another filing area that I need to work on. It’s considered my “Command Central” or rather, should be called my “Disaster Zone” right now. However, I need to think about this area more and because it’s a separate space, it’s going to be another Trouble Spot Tuesday post – or two. If you have any tips on how you deal with YOUR daily paper and “stuff” influx, please SHARE.

Update on the Recycling version of Trouble Spot Tuesday: this system is working VERY well for us. We had our first recycling pickup last Tuesday and taking the trash/recycling out to the curb was so easy. 2 trips and we were done. Despite Hubster pulling my leg and putting paper in the plastics/glass bin and me giving him the 4th degree about the new system, even he’s been good about putting it away.

A big part of the success of the system is my own drive to MAKE myself (and anyone else) take the recycling to the appropriate spot. I MAKE myself open the door to the garage to throw the papers in the bin, rather than just pile it up on the counter in the laundry room to take out “later”. I’m trying to beat down the “pit and pile” person and retrain myself to be more efficient.

Unbalanced Bites Me in the Ass

Argh! I haven’t been sleeping well, my house is on the verge of trashed, Christmas is 9 days away, I’ve not been eating or exercising very well, Mouse's school Christmas party is tomorrow night, Hubster is likely working late all week, and oh, did I mention that my folks arrive this weekend? My life is unbalanced, I’m unbalanced, and so of course today I noticed a little niggle of a sore throat starting up. I shouldn’t be surprised, but I’m not happy about it.

Time to break out the rhino-ass tasting “commercially available homeopathic remedy”. I’ve already choked down one dose and chugged some water and vitamin C. If I didn’t know that this worked, I would flush it, but it I know it works, so I’m choking it down. Ick.

Mum, Dad... I'm trying to knock this out before you get here! ACK! I'll break out the Lysol before you walk in the door.

Close Encounters of the Cookie Kind

Help! We’ve been invaded! A gazillion of these people seem to have emerged from my oven. They’re various sized, seem a little two dimensional and yet, they smell good. Really good. The big ones seem to be the leaders, and have some sort of weird “third eye” thing going on. They must be really smart. And very prolific breeders. I mean, really, look at all those KIDs! Good grief.

Like some sort of weird “Dora the Explorer” story, it seems as though they have to travel through the gingerbread forest, under a snowy, starry sky to get to their hide-out; an obnoxiously, colorful and sweet place. Doesn’t seem like it’s going to hold that kind of crowd – but hey, what do I know?

I guess if we really want to gain back our control, we just might have to take care of these invaders and really, I see only one way out of this mess.

*Crunch* *Munch* *Snarf*

WHAT?!!

Gingerbread Men Recipe (based on Joy of Cooking – this is my version with extra spice. Makes nice spicy not too sweet gingerbread invaders – uh, cookies).

Ingredients:
¼ cup butter
½ cup brown sugar
½ cup molasses
3 ½ cups flour
1 tsp baking soda
½ tsp cloves
1 tsp cinnamon
2 tsp ground ginger
½ tsp salt
¼-1/2 cup water

Directions:
Preheat oven to 350 F
Cream butter and sugar together until creamy. Add molasses.
Sift flour, salt, spices and baking soda together.
In 3 parts, alternately add flour mixture and water. Amount of water will depend on how dry your flour is. You want the dough to be a stiff, but moldable ball.

You may have to knead the last addition by hand. The dough should be really stiff, not be sticky, but also not dry.

Form into a round patty, wrap in plastic wrap and chill for at least an hour.

When ready to make cookies, roll dough and cut out shapes. Bake for 8-10 minutes (depending on thickness). You know they are done when you press the cookie and it springs back.

If you want to make hanging ornaments, before baking, use a straw to make a hole in the cookie.

Cool on a rack and decorate with copious amounts of icing!

A Glimpse of the Future

Today Mouse’s school had a field trip to see a local high school band practice. The band teacher was really fabulous with the kids; he prepared a fantastic program of fun Christmas music, he gave all kids antlers and had them march around to Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer, and bells to shake during Jingle Bells. The high school students were so involved with our gaggle of 4 year olds; happily answering questions about their instruments, following along as one of the kids learned how to conduct and just making eye contact and smiling. It was a fun time and truly, these music students were fantastic musicians.

Afterwards, we went to the cafeteria for enormous, festive, sugar sprinkled cookies and milk. As we walked in we were followed by a bunch of students coming in for morning announcements. I had a weird time warp moment.

When we see our “big” kids day to day, they seem, well, BIG. Many of the students were walking by and saying “Awww, how cute! Look at them! They’re so little!” I saw our kids through their eyes and compared to these big high school kids, they DID seem so little.

And then, GASP… I realized that one day I will also have a high school kid – in fact 2 (!). I had this flash of a vision of my girls almost grown up and going to high school. I think my heart stopped for a minute or two and I sprouted at least 5 more gray hairs.

I know I shouldn’t be surprised that my kids will grow up but sometimes it’s hard to realize that time is moving on when you are just plodding along and every day at this stage seems so much the same.

However, every now and then, I have these momentary flashes of the future . A wake up call, if you will. When I was pregnant with Mouse, my Mum (and a friend) said, “Hey, just think – this Christmas you’ll have a 7 month old and think of all the things your baby will be doing”. I was shocked, stunned really, because I hadn’t really thought too far past the getting through the birth and actually “having” a baby at that point.

I think I’ve been going through a similar phase lately. So caught up in the day to day that it’s hard to see the future and yet, every day is a step in that direction. And every day that we leave behind IS the past. It seems obvious, I know, but when I poke my head up from the apparent monotony of this parenting trench, I’m surprised to see how quickly my kids are growing up. We really ARE moving forward.

In reference to parenting our little-big kids, Mouse’s wonderful teacher has been known to say “The days can pass so slowly, but the years really do fly by”.

How true that is.

Bittersweet

*Something funny: I wrote this post a few days ago and was waiting to post it. However, yesterday while talking to my Mum on the phone (who didn’t know about this entry) we had a very similar conversation about weaning because she asked me how it was going. Sorry, Mum – it’ll be a bit of déjà vu for you - but I seriously didn't just write up our conversation. We’ve got a strong mind-link. Oy. Haha*

I have just weaned my youngest daughter, Baboo. Yes, she’s 20 months. Yes, she’s nursed this long. I know; it’s freaky. I’ve actually been nursing for 4.5 years STRAIGHT. (This is that whole “left of normal” thing I was talking about).

Overall, the process was relatively painless. We had one day where she cried at nap time because she wanted “mamas” but other than that, she hasn’t asked. I guess we were both ready.

In contrast, I nursed Mouse until she was 3. I tandem nursed the girls (both at the same time) for just over 2 months. It was tough - the tandem nursing and the weaning.

We “agreed”, as much as you can get a 3 year old to agree to something, to wean just after her third birthday. She cried for days, despite us talking about it and preparing for it. I wrestled with my conscience over whether I did the right thing or not. In my mind I was ready for her to be done nursing, but she obviously still wanted it. I read a lot and thought about it and knew that if it wasn’t working for both of us AND she wasn’t a little baby any more, then it was time. It has really hard. I can remember going over to a friend’s house a few weeks after our relatively rocky weaning process. We had been playing outside and Mouse stayed with my friend while I went inside for something. When I came back, my friend told me that Mouse had relayed to her the story of her weaning, but she ended it by happily yelling “I’m big now! I don’t have “nee” any more. Yay! Yay!”. And then finally, that was that.

My girls were very different nursers. Mouse nursed almost constantly from the time she was born until she was 3. And when she wasn’t nursing, she was asking for it. She was a big comfort nurser. We never got onto any kind of schedule (not that I’m big on scheduling nursing) or even routine.

Baboo just got down to business, nursed as fast and as hard as she could, then popped off , ready to move on to other things. As she got older, we just fell into a routine with nursing and that seemed to suit her just fine.

I know we were both ready to wean and that we were hanging onto it a bit because it was comfortable and familiar and yeah, ok, when I put Baboo down for a nap it meant I got to sit down, with quiet and my book for 15 minutes. And I admit I wanted to hang onto my “baby” for a little bit longer. She seems to have grown up so fast.

I'm really proud of myself for not going into nursing with any expectations. I didn’t’ know how long Mouse would nurse and didn’t really care. I’m proud of myself for being brave enough to tandem nurse for a while. I’m proud of myself for not feeling as though I had to keep things “equal” and for trusting that I would recognize what my girls needed and when. I’m very happy to have had such unfailing support from my family and friends, despite marching to the beat of a different drum and to have had access to a fantastic and knowledgeable group of people I could talk to about nursing. Especially freakishly long nursing. I didn't feel like a freak with them. (thank you One Hot Mama discussion!)

It’s a bittersweet time for me. I’m feeling nostalgic as Baboo is likely my last baby. To know that I won’t be nursing any more babies, which really has been a special thing, makes me feel a bit sad. But at the same time, I’m happy to know that they nursed a long time with no regrets, my girls are happy and healthy and though I “say” sometimes I’d like them to be babies again, I don’t really mean it. I love watching them grow and change and I’m so excited to see the people they are becoming.

A while ago I was shopping with my Mum. I was trying on a dress and we were both looking at it like something was wrong. But it wasn’t the dress. It was the “girls”. Despite wearing a pretty good bra (which I stretched because it was a non-nursing bra and I was still nursing) they were a bit, well, sad; kind of like tired dogs with their tongues hanging out. (Too graphic? TMI? Sorry). I vowed then and there that when I was done nursing, I was going for a bra fitting AND getting a GOOD bra. And heck, I might even go to Victoria’s Secret.

Now, until earlier this summer, I didn’t ‘get’ Victoria’s Secret. I had walked by the stores and wondered who the heck would pay $8/pr for undies when I could get a whole week’s worth for that price via Fruit of the Loom. Then, I got a coupon: a coupon for a free pair of undies. FREE.
So, with Hubster’s very obvious encouraging (I think he was shoving me out the door saying “Take your time! Get a coffee on the way home. Get something nice”), I went. When I showed my coupon to the greeter at the door, I was directed to the very back, right hand corner of the store. A semi-dark area with pretty bargain bins filled with colorful scraps of stretchy cotton. I held up some interesting pieces of string and wondered how the heck you put them on and dug around for the “enormous” size for premium ass coverage. Note, these are apparently kept in the drawers UNDER the bargain bins. I guess they don’t anyone to know they sell undies for people who have bums. As I take my 1 pr of cotton bikinis to the counter, I’m still not convinced about these undies, but they’re FREE and that’s a price I can afford.

Well, let me tell you. These are the best undies I’ve ever owned. Ever. Victoria’s Secret is not paying me to tell you about this, but they can if they want to. (but I don’t’ know if they WANT to have slightly plump, marginally lumpy, saggy boobed Mom as spokesperson). I would pay $8 for these undies if I had $8 to spend on them. They stay in place, are very comfortable and wash well. They’re always the first undies I put on after wash day.

Hubster was a bit disappointed that I wasn’t able to pick something more “Victoria Secret-y”, but he’s encouraged that maybe I’ll go back.

So, all this leads me to telling you that I’m a Victoria Secret convert and will likely go back there, hopefully to buy more undies when they have a sale and to buy a bra or two. A good bra to give my poor tired, hard working “girls” the gravity defying assistance they need and deserve. I wonder if they do fittings?

Bubble Breath

Baboo was playing in the bathroom this morning while I was getting dressed. She walked over to me holding a bar of Dove soap very reverently in the palm of her hands. There are teeth marks on the side of the bar.

Baboo (very seriously): Mama, I eat, eat soap.

Me: Hmm. That wasn’t such a good idea. You know that you shouldn’t eat soap.

Baboo: I know. (smiling broadly, holding up soap and yelling) BUT I WIKE IT MAMA! IT TASTE GOOD!

At least she’s honest. Bleh.

Ear Bulbs

We were in Walmart the other day and Mouse suddenly stopped and pointed to a person wearing earmuffs. She said excitedly: Mom! Mom! THAT's what I NEED! "Ear bulbs". I could wear them and then I wouldn't be able to hear you! I think I'd like pink ones.

Um, I'm still not sure how to respond to that. Do I talk too much? Probably. Does she not want to listen to me? I'm not sure she's listening all that often anyway - so do we really need to make the problem worse by her donning fuzzy pink ear muffs so she can ignore me further or worse, yell back 3 inches from my face, "I can't hear you, MOM! I have my ear "bulbs" on!".

Trouble Spot Tuesday

Computer Backups:

There’s nothing like that sinking feeling of seeing your computer crash and wondering what the hell you’ve lost. Important documents? Precious photos? Years worth of email? Yikes.

I had a laptop stolen earlier this year (long story, another post) and fortunately I didn’t have much on it, however, there were some files on it that I’m still missing and wishing I had backed up somewhere. ANYWHERE.

Since I just ran my backup today, I thought that it was a good time, probably PAST time to remind you to backup the files on your computer too. You’d think that having worked in IT for so long I’d do this more often, but I don’t. And I should. And I will.

I employ 2 methods:

1) I use Norton’s 360 backup feature and backup my files every 1-2 weeks to an external backup drive that I connect to my laptop with a USB cable. Very simple, very easy. It basically does it for me.

2) Every few months, I burn cds/dvds of all of my photos, which believe it or not, considering how scattered I usually am about stuff like this, are organized in a very simple way in folders: Photos/Year/Month/Any Special Events. This has made it so easy to find the photos I want and it makes it simple for me to know the approximate dates of the photos as well. I can usually fit a couple of months per cd/dvd, depending on how many photos I’ve taken.

There are many options available and if you’re computer was purchased within the last few years, it likely already has backup software on it, so unless you do some really complicated stuff, (and if you do, you’re likely skipping this post, so uh yeah…) that should make it pretty simple. You can also purchase backup software at any electronics retail store and most of the major antivirus software companies sell bundles that include backup protection as well.

External media is becoming very affordable as well. Large external hard drives (like 200-300 Gig) are right around the $100-150 range. What’s nice about the external hard drive is that not only does it offer plenty of space for the average user, but you can also connect these hard drives to just about any other computer which is a good thing when your computer has taken the big toast and you’re stranded.

Failing that, take some time and burn your photos, documents, address books and email to cd or dvd. Label them well and store them somewhere safe.

How often do you need to run your backups? Well, that depends on how much you store on your computer. If you’re adding pictures or have a lot of documents or email, then at least weekly, if not daily. If you’re an occasional user who doesn’t really store a lot on your computer, every few weeks or once a month might be enough.

Take the time and do it soon. Like maybe now. Consider it an investment to protect those items that you won’t realize how much you miss until they’re gone.

Hubster's Announcement

The Hubster would like me to post for ALL to see that HE, yes, “He-who-searches-with-his-eyes-closed” has located for me a cd that was basically right under my nose.

After 5 trips upstairs tonight to the pit, uh, office, to look for a particular cd, I still couldn’t find it. Grumbling and pouting, I abandoned my search and went to put the girls to bed.

While I was reading Mouse her story, Hubster came into her room and yelled VERY triumphantly that HE, yes HE had FOUND the CD I was looking for and that it had been in plain sight all along. And made sure to announce that, I, “ask-Mommy-she-knows-where-everything-is-and-honey-where-are-my-keys", could NOT locate it.

He had to proclaim this several times. Loudly; with arm movements. And even a little dancing.

And he mentioned that I should put this on the blog, so here it is.

699 more to go and we’re even, my dear. But don’t worry, I’ll help you find your keys tomorrow.

Dentist

Today, Mouse and I are playing "dentist'. I'm the patient and she's the dentist.
She's got a straw to look in my mouth:

Mouse: Open up and say "ahh" miss.
Me: Ahhh.
Mouse: Poke, poke with the straw. Hmm. Yes. OH dear!
Me: AHWT (what with mouth open)
Mouse: Your teeth are shinking and you have CANOPIES.
Me: uh....

The Good News and the Bad News

Good news: We got an unexpected check from our moving insurance in the mail. Whoo!
Bad news: We got our IRA statements in the mail. Wince, ouch, groan.

Bad news: Baboo had to get a shot today. She screamed bloody murder.
Good news: I was able to buy her off with a sticker and extra Hello Kitty band aid on the cheek.
(She didn’t get the shot in the cheek, but that’s where she wanted the extra band aid)

Good news: Target is right beside the doctor’s office so I got to shop at Target – which I love.
Bad news: Said beloved Target double charged me on 2 (!) items, which of course, I didn’t notice until we got home. ARGH!

Bad news: The activity table I was going to buy at Target today for the doll house in Mouse’s room is too big. It was really nice.
Good news: I bought something way cheaper and it will work just as well.

Good news: Mouse’s class made very cute gingerbread houses at school today. I stayed to take photos. They were so cute.
Bad news: She is now wired on sugar from all the “tasting”. (Our little plastic chocolate has just been outdone by frosting and Skittles at 9:15 am). I’m glad I don’t have to take photos of the kids this afternoon during the post-sugar high aftermath.

Good news: All I have to do for dinner for the next 2 nights is reheat some yummy meals from the freezer. We’re cleaning the fridge/freezer out for the next week or 2 before the holiday.
Bad news: Well, not really bad, but we’ll have some “interesting” meals over the next week.

Good news: There are 16 days until Christmas.
Bad news: There are 16 days until Christmas.

Bonus buy of the day: Crest Tooth Whitening Strips Premium. (I drink coffee, therefore I must whiten.) On sale for $27.99. I had a $5 off coupon and Target was offering a $10 gift card with the purchase of these strips. I essentially got them for $12.99, cheaper than the store brand. Whoo! Ok, so now that I have the gift card, maybe I will go back to Target and fight the 2 double charges. hehe

Christmas Traditions

I’ve been banished to the bedroom so that Mouse and Hubster can wrap my Christmas gifts. I’m certainly not unhappy to be banished as I’ve grabbed a fresh cup of coffee, a morsel of dark chocolate (and yes a morsel, 2 small squares) and my laptop and am comfortably situated on my bed, with a few minutes to myself. Ah exile, it’s a good place to be.

Since I will have a longer than usual time frame for writing, which will hopefully be uninterrupted, I'll warn you that this post will likely be longer than normal. So, go get another coffee. Go ahead. It's ok. I'll wait.

As my Christmas CD loads into iTunes, I’m thinking of the music I’ll be hearing soon. No, it’s not some hip star singing rocked out Christmas songs. I’m not that cool. I had my Mum make me this CD a few years ago from albums that we used to listen to every year. Songs I missed at the holidays when I moved away. It’s John Denver, Living Strings and Living Voices, and Nana Mouskouri. And yes, I know all the words. Not cool for anyone else and I don’t care.

Growing up, we didn’t live very close to our extended family so we didn’t often have that gaggle of cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents that seem to embody a typical traditional holiday. Our Christmas’s were much more subdued but no less magical because my parents made an effort to start traditions that helped our holidays feel special – like the family time it’s meant to be. It gave us special things to look forward to, things we only did at the holidays.

Surprisingly Santa didn’t play a huge part in our Christmas. He was never “pushed” but was more of a suggestion. We were never threatened with “Santa is watching!” to get us to behave. I don’t know if I ever really believed in it, but I liked the thought that a magical person could actually exist. We did talk about him and did “receive” gifts from him but, really, I think we always knew it was our parents.

Every year, we’d decorate the tree together as a family. Once Dad had the tree set up (a real tree) in the stand with the lights (mumble, mumble, ARGH, &^@#), we’d start to decorate. We loved opening the boxes of ornaments and admiring all the familiar decorations. My Dad’s decorated duck egg, my brother’s little pompom snowman from when he was a baby, my felt tree decorated with alphabet macaroni that I made in kindergarten. They held so many memories and brought their own magic to the season.

We always made gingerbread people cookies to hang on the tree with our friends/family members names on them; people we couldn’t be with at the holidays but who were in our hearts. We usually didn’t eat the cookies, but pretty much every year some poor cookie that was hung too low got eaten by the dogs.

My Mum always made butter tarts, jam thumb print cookies and Dad made pumpkin pie. We had turkey and all the fixings for Christmas dinner, which was served with good china and silver at a decorated table, usually by candle light. We changed from our pjs into nice clothes. Yes, even though most of the time it was just us 4.

My parents held a ‘come-and-go’ holiday party for many years. They invited all their friends, co-workers, neighbors and when my brother and I were old enough, we invited our friends as well. We’d decorate the house, prepare lots of food and just visit with our friends. It was always so festive and loud and fun.

Each year, we’d pick out a big complicated puzzle and set it up on a board to work on over the whole holiday. I remember the day after school let out for the break, we’d be getting the puzzle out and sorting pieces.

This was the one time of year when we’d have pop (soda) in the house. My folks would stock up on cans of Coke and Ginger Ale and store it in the basement. Little bro and I would often sneak an extra can when we were playing down there. Yeah, our parents knew so we weren't exactly that sneaky.

Of course, little Bro and I loved all the Christmas shows, and back before recording devices were really popular, we had to wait and watch the tv guide to see when all the good ones would be on. Rudolf the Red Nose Reindeer, Frosty the Snowman, Santa Claus is Coming to Town, Miracle on 34th Street, and of course, growing up in the 80’s meant we loved Garfieldf and Garfield's Christmas was no exception.

Even into our early teens we used to get chocolate Advent calendars – a tradition I’m carrying over with my girls because nothing says Christmas like eating a piece of chocolate every morning. One year my brother opened all of his doors and ate the chocolate in one day, but pretended that he opened and ate it each day. I guess that’s his prerogative, but it’s funny all these years later.

We didn’t start going to church until my brother and I were a bit older, like about 7 and 9, but once we did, Christmas Eve service became a part of that tradition as well. When we were younger, we’d go to the 7 pm service which was always chaotic with kids running all over the place. The church was always jammed with families and brimming with Christmas excitement. Our gentle and kind minister would stand at his pulpit beside the enormous, shining tree and tell us the story of Christmas and lament that again this year he was shopping for his family at the last minute that very day. When we were older (early teens), we’d go to the 9 pm service which was quieter but just as meaningful.

After church, we would always drive around the city, up and down all of the little streets to admire the lights and decorations.

My Mum’s family used to open all of their gifts on Christmas Eve and so, to keep a part of her family tradition, we always got to open one gift on Christmas Eve. It was always so exciting to figure out which one our parents would select for us to open.

As kids, my brother and I left out milk and cookies for Santa and veggies (for the reindeer) and knew in our hearts that it was our parents eating it, but were happy to pretend it was Santa. Then we’d force ourselves to go to bed thinking that if we hurried up and went to sleep Christmas morning would arrive faster. Of course it took us forever to fall asleep and we’d be giggling and wiggling around in our beds for hours, unable to willing ourselves to sleep.

In the morning, our stockings were left on the end of our beds. It used to be that we would wake up at 4 am (or earlier!) to get the sneak peak on Christmas. In a beat of parenting genius on my parents’ part to save their sanity, they allowed us to open our stockings before anyone else was up. My brother and I always woke each other up to do it together though, and I’m sure many times my folks were awake in their own room listening to us frantically ripping into our stuffed socks. We were not allowed downstairs to the tree though until my folks were up and we usually got them up about 6. When we got older, we would wait to open our stockings all together (my parents did stockings for each other as well). It was fun to see all the little treasures and treats we found for each other.

Each year someone got to be the “elf” and hand out gifts to each person. As we got older, opening became less of a rip-n-shred kind of affair, and more of a leisurely thing, with each of us taking the time to watch the others opening their gifts. I think we all knew how quickly the gift opening would go after all those weeks of preparations.

While we weren’t ‘poor’ we weren’t exactly rich either. Both of my parents worked and worked hard. We didn’t get a lot of extra things during the year, but Christmas was a time when generally our greatest wishes were granted. We weren’t “spoiled’ but it was rare for us not to get something we asked for (within reason of course). We always had gifts sent in from extended family members as well and it was fun to know that Grandma had sent a special gift on the Greyhound bus for us.

I know I make it sound idyllic and yet it wasn’t all the time. There were tantrums from over tired kids, sulky behavior, and just general holiday over stimulation. However, for us, the holidays really were a special time.

When my husband and I got married, it was a bit difficult to find a good balance between our two families, especially at the holidays. We decided to spend Christmas Eve with my parents and when we lived in the same city, which we did for a few years, we’d still go to church and drive around to look at the lights afterwards. We’d go to my folks house afterwards and together started a new tradition. Since none of us wanted to eat two turkey dinners two days in a row, we’d have a whole meal of finger food at my folk’s house. We’d put on Christmas music, nosh on lots of yummy snacks and take our time opening our gifts, telling stories and sometimes playing games.

We’d spend Christmas day with Hubster’s family. Most of his extended family lived in town, so we’d truck over to someone’s house, either his Grandma’s or his Mom’s and have a big dinner with all the fixings. It was the chaotic family holiday – kids running around, cousins, aunts, uncles all crammed around the table. For me, that was a whole new experience and I loved being a part of it.

Now, we’re farther away and usually have Christmas at our house with a set of grandparents visiting us. We’re working on setting up our own traditions – a blend of old and new. I want our girls to have that same rich experience that I had – to look forward to the holidays and all the things that we can do together.

Some of our new traditions are:

When we’re ready to wrap gifts, Hubster and I get everything ready, grab a treat and something hot to drink and put in our favourite holiday movie: National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation to watch while we wrap gifts.

Because Thanksgiving in the States is so close to Christmas, we have started to have prime rib roast for our Christmas dinner – which is killer good. It’s such a treat for us and we enjoy having something other than turkey. We have to have garlic mashed potatoes, popovers with gravy and top it off with my yummy cheesecake. I throw in a gratuitus vegetable in there too - usually asparagus or something like that.

We still drive or walk around to look at the lights, make finger food on Christmas Eve and the kids get to open one gift. I still make the gingerbread cookies. We don’t push Santa, but Mouse has started talking about him and on her own decided to make a list this year. Our girls are a bit too young for a few of the other things that I used to do, but I hope that we’ll be able to carry on a few and continue to start some more of our own.

So, if you made it to the end of this very long winded post, tell me, what are your traditions? What do you do to help make your holiday special?

Mother of Invention has a Numb Bum

It’s another snowy weekend here in Midwest-ville so yesterday we all bundled up for some family time out in the yard. We’ve got a little downhill slope at the back of our yard so we were going to attempt some sledding.

However, we don’t own a sled.

Hubster suggested using some aluminum cookie sheets, which we did try but they didn’t work. Being the “creative and inventive” person that I am (why are you laughing?) I remembered the girls’ plastic placemats. They’re textured on the top but slick as oil on the bottom. We have discovered this by nearly giving ourselves concussions several times when we step one that gets left on the floor. Verrrrry slippery.

Mouse was the first to give it a try and she did pretty well. Baboo kept sliding right off the placemat. Then I gave it a go. Covering pretty much the whole placemat with my backside, I sat down, leaned back a bit, held on as best I could to what little edge was left, and shot down our little hill like a rocket! Whooo. Wheee. Bwahahahahaha.

Those placemats worked so well! Like crazy carpets only much, much smaller. Remember those? No? Oh, I’ve just dated myself then, haven’t I? Okee dokee then. Hubster was able to get positioned on his little Dora placemat and shot down too. What followed was many trips up and down the hill trying out various experiments on best position for maximum speed. Hubster tried a headfirst position that resulted in getting a face full of snow. We were able to balance Baboo on our laps as we leaned back so she could get a full ride down our little hill.

Our neighbor was outside sweeping his back patio, watching the ruckus we were creating and shaking his head – especially when Hubster and I would slide down. He yelled over his fence “Must be your Canadian blood that makes you want to be out enjoying this weather! And is that a PLACEMAT??” In response we just hooted and hopped on our makeshift sleds for another trip down the hill.

The girls were pretty tired after about 25 trips. I’m sure that for their little legs, climbing up our hill was the equivalent of climbing ¼ of the way up a mountain.

Hubster and I both grew up in Northern Ontario and as kids did a lot of sledding but this was the first time we’ve been sledding, in um, eleventy-million years. It was a lot of fun to watch the kids sledding for the first time and nothing says “great parent” like plopping your 2 year old on a placemat and shoving her down a bumpy, snow covered hill.

When we came inside, tracking snow all over the house with our snowy boots and hats, my butt was SOOO frozen it was numb. I had two wet marks on the back of my jeans (I was the only one without snow pants). I think I’m only just getting feeling back there now (oh, it’s still there? It didn’t freeze and fall off? Crap) but it was worth it.