What the Flagnar!?

Ever see the kids movie Monsters vs Aliens? I haven’t been able to watch the WHOLE thing, but there’s a line in there that I’ve adopted. The little cockroach guy says it. It’s “What the flagnar”. Say it. Go ahead. Out loud, REAL loud. It’s even more satisfying than an expletive. And safer for children’s ears.

This has been the statement repeated often the past few weeks. Life has suddenly gotten messy and complicated and just plain weird. I’ve often been muttering “What the flagnar!?”.

So what’s borked in our life these days?

Well, first we noticed that we had a leak under the sink. We were alarmed, but dealt with it thankfully because a good friend’s husband is an amazing handy-man.

Then, both kids got sick. I took Baboo to a walk in clinic last Saturday and learned she had bronchitis. Ever try to fill a prescription on a Saturday night? Good luck.

Then on Friday, after school, when no appointments are available anywhere, we make another trip to the walk in clinic with Mouse who has spent 3 hours screaming and writhing on the floor in pain. I suspect an ear infection, and give Tylenol, lots of hugs and a heating pad for the ear, but have to wait for the Sears guy to come and fix the oven (more on that later). As the kids are waiting in the car in the garage, I’m shoving the Sears guy out the door with a gritted teeth smile (just GO already!) and grateful that for 2 minutes I can’t hear Mouse screaming because she is in the car, in the garage and the doors are closed. I throw some Advil at Mouse and start driving to the clinic. Thankfully, it’s not busy and we’re seen within 20 minutes. When we walked in, Mouse was still crying and hurting, a pain I know well as I had chronic ear infections as a kid, so I’m sympathetic, but well, ready to have it over with. By the time the nurse practioner got to us, a mere 25 minutes post Advil dose, Mouse was smiling and laughing and saying “Oh, my ear doesn’t really hurt any more”. What the flagnar!? Apparently, I learned that Ibuprofen is like Tylenol with codeine for kids and pain. I file this away and feel a bit guilty that I didn’t give it to her sooner, but glad I did eventually give it to her. Good Mom/Bad Mom. Of course, now she’s on antibiotics twice a day for 10 days. Did I mention that she doesn’t take medicine well and throws up almost every time she has to take it? No. Well, now you know. We’re on day 2. 8 more to go. Sigh.

So, the oven. I guess it felt jealous of the microwave and wanted to get some attention too. On Thursday, it was raining and nasty and we decided it would be a good day to make a mess in the kitchen, also known as bake cookies. We mixed ‘em all up, flour everywhere and popped 3 pans into the oven. After 4 minutes I rotated the pans and noticed that they didn’t seem to be very far along. Repeat again in 3 minutes. Wait another 20 mins when they should actually be TOAST, and realize that the oven is no longer hot at all and won’t light. Mutter expletives and get out oven manual, search on Google for 5 minutes and figure out that the ignitor was likely gone. Great.

I scheduled an appointment with Sears on Friday between the hours of 1-5 (way to screw a whole afternoon) to the tune of $100 for them to come and LOOK at it and say “yup, it’s broken” while baking ½ baked cookies 4 at a time in the toaster oven. Fun. Apparently it was the ignitor and the repair man, while nice, seemed to take forever, but maybe it was Mouse wailing in the background that was making me crazy. And the cost to have it all fixed? Cheaper than a new stove, but only just barely.


And last week, the woman that Hubster carpools with gave her notice to end the rides. And really, it was a bit of a blessing and not a surprise as it really wasn’t working any more. She was often very late, making Hubster late etc so we knew it was coming. We were planning to buy a second car later this year and hoped to make the carpool last until spring when Hubster could ride his scooter to work, but apparently the universe had other plans. Like to get us to spend money FASTER. Argh. Flagnar!

We tried to find an alternative, however, there aren’t many carpool or public transpo options where we live, so we’ve been scrambling this week to find a second vehicle. Which has meant some frenzied searching, frazzled nerves and a few loud “discussions”. There have been a few “we think we’ve found one”s, that have not worked out, which is very frustrating and it’s hard feeling like everyone (private sellers, dealerships etc) is lying to you. But we really do think we’ve found one that will work out. A yellow, yup, yellow VW Beetle. Ha! But the deal isn’t done yet, so we’re kind of holding our breath. The only good thing is that this was on my list of “goals” for this year, so I’ll get one off the list sooner than I anticipated.

My calendar looks like someone threw up in marker on it this month. It’s chaos. I’m trying to find time to exercise and get organized/plan but can’t seem to get it in there. We’ve got appointments and classes and field trips and meetings up the whazoo this month. It’s kind of mind boggling to be honest. Next month we start the “find the right school for Mouse next year” madness and I’m so not looking forward to that.

My desk is a mess. The playrooms are a mess. In fact the whole house is a mess and yet, I sit here typing instead of doing something about it in my pajamas.

However, we’ve managed to get through the week and believe it or not January is almost done and so far, February on the calendar is significantly less colorful. It feels as though the pace of this year had been set to “warp speed”.

And all that said, I’m hungry and need more coffee, so I guess I’ll get this day fired up and start there.

Let's Buy a Box

Let me preface this post by saying I am not being paid to talk about this company. Heck, I don’t even know if I’m allowed to do this, but I’ll start it anyway and if I’m not supposed, I know someone will let me know.

My days have been filled to the brim with all sorts of funny, bloggable moments, but frankly, they’re so full and I’m too busy basking in them and well, trying to keep up with the rest of life to find time to blog. Sorry.

I could tell you about Baboo telling me yesterday, that she doesn’t think that the fish cracker riding a bicycle on the side of the Pepperidge Farm Goldfish box was real. Her reasoning, correctly if I might add, is that fish can’t ride bikes because they don’t have legs. And therefore can’t wear pants. Emphasis on the “pants”. I guess pants are a must to ride a bike.

I could tell you about my fearless girls at the BIG sledding hill this year, rocketing down mogels on their little princess sleds like pros. And Baboo whining for an hour because she *IS* BIG and CAN go down by herself. She’s all of 2 for pete’s sake.

Or I could tell you about us getting locked out of our house on said sledding day and having to break into the house by breaking a door jam.

I should be trying to blog about my weight loss efforts, but I really can’t seem to get the time to put together a coherent post about it. Or I should be delivering the New Year’s resolutions I promised a few weeks ago.

I could bore you to tears with the many examples of my cotton-headed-ninny-ness of late. The many times I’ve forgotten things, lost things… like my mind, or gone to the wrong place.


But I won’t right now. I will find time to do those other things later. However, I am able to find time right now to ask you to help me. I found THIS company last year. I think it was a CNN article that directed me to their website. I love that this company gives a family (of up to 10!) the tools needed to be safe, to cook, have clean water, a dry place to sleep and tools to start rebuilding their lives, all contained in a sturdy multi-purpose box. I love that there are toys for the kids. I love that they give families some dignity; a temporary home when they have nothing. I was so inspired by Shelter Box, that I seriously considered becoming an advocate for them. Really seriously.

When the news broke of the devastation in Haiti, I couldn’t help but be shocked. It’s horrible and beyond sad. My heart is breaking for everyone affected by this, and the outreach of this is huge. It’s natural to want to help, and we sure do. My first thought was of Shelter Box. I logged onto the website, which was very slow, I hope from people logging on to donate. Eventually, things came up and I was able to make a donation towards a box. A full box costs $1000. I would love to buy a box, but it’s not really realistic.

At dinner tonight, Hubster and I were talking and he said he spent a long time on the Shelter Box site, watching the videos and becoming inspired by the good things they do. How SMART the system is. I mentioned that it seemed like $100 didn’t seem like enough.

And so, I thought of posting to see if you’d help us buy a box. If a few people pitched in we’d be able to buy one. I don’t know for sure that it would go to Haiti, but I do know that there are thousands of people around the world who would sure benefit from a leg up.

There are a bunch of fabulous charities doing much needed work. They’re all good, and all needed. This is a good one too and if you haven’t done anything yet, we’d love it if you helped us with this one.

Log onto the Shelter Box site (this is the link to the US one, but they have depots in other countries) and make donation. Let’s see if together we can buy a box and help a family out.

If you donate, leave me a comment and tell me how much you donated so I can tally it up.

100, um, 50... ok 35 Things About Me

In lieu of a real post about anything important (AGAIN... I KNOW!), I will distract you with a few useless factoids about myself. I think this makes this the lamest post ever.

1.I love coffee. Black, unsweetened coffee. I’m not picky, and I’m not fancy.
Heck, I’ll even drink it cold.
2.While, I’m not picky about my coffee, I don’t like Starbucks. Ick.
3.Chocolate is my middle name. Or maybe my whole name is just coated in chocolate. (mmm)
4.I’m allergic to red and blue dye. It killed me to open the Twizzlers this Halloween and just SMELL them. Curse that throat swelling.
5.I have an irrational fear of fish. Live ones. They wig me out. I used to have nightmares about them as a kid.
6.I’m Canadian.
7.I have another irrational fear of being rear-ended when slowing down or stopping. (it happened once 2 years ago and I’m still not over it).
8.I like my teeth and my eyes and hate my ass.
9.As much as I’ve tried them, even coated in bacon, I just don’t like Brussel sprouts. Or liver for that matter.
10.I also don’t like sushi or seafood, other than just plain fish.
11.I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.
12.When I was 15 I was asked what I was good at, what my “natural gift” was and I couldn’t answer the question. I still can’t.
13.I love to cook but hardly ever follow a recipe.
14.I’m not such a great baker because of #13.
15.I make a roast chicken that would knock your socks off, even if you weren’t wearing any.
16.I’m a better planner than a doer.
17.I wrote an entry in my journal after my first day of high school in grade 9 when I was 14 talking about how cute the spikey haired blonde boy was behind me in geography class. That boy became Hubster 6 years later.
18.Cilantro is my favourite herb. I think I could eat a whole bunch of it alone.
19.I don’t like driving at night. I especially don’t like driving at night in the rain.
20.I absorb a lot of useless information.
21.Unfinished pottery gives me the willies.
22.So do black boards and chalk. (shiver. Ick)
23.I secretly wish I could sing or play violin.
24.Right now, my vacation fantasy is checking into a hotel alone with comfy pjs, good munchies and a stack of books, unplugging the phone and sleeping, reading for about 3 days. Oh, and maybe a facial or massage. Or both thrown in for fun.
25.Once upon a time I was going to be an anthropologist AND be the curator of my own museum (except I suck remembering historical dates). Then I was going to be a pediatrician. And then an obstetrician. And then a midwife. I am none of these things.
26.I sometimes wish I could live like Laura Ingalls.
27.My most favourite movie is Princess Bride.
28.I love to read. Some of my favourite books are Girl of the Limberlost (oh, yeah, I want to be her too sometimes), The Clan of the Cave Bear series and the Outlander Series.
29.One of my best friends is someone I’ve known since I was 11.
30.I love any food that is “pot pied”.
31.I also love Applebee’s Spinach Artichoke dip. (now I want some). It’s like crack for me.
32.I do not own a sweatshirt.
33.I lived in New Zealand for a year. It was a turning point in my life.
34.I suffered from mild eating disorders as a teenager.
35.I love to watch Biggest Loser, House, Fringe and What Not To Wear.