Left of Ordinary

Smokin'

2010-05-26T10:23:00.001-04:00

It’s not the end of May unless we skid across the finish line battered, bruised, scraped up, sick as dogs, hopped up on antibiotics, chewed up, spit out, worn out and with a few embers glowing and smoking from our asses.

This May has been no different.

Oh, what a month this has been. QUITE a month, if I do say so myself. Granted, it would be busy without all the other, um, stuff that’s been going on, but truly, we have been running with flames flying out of our asses since the beginning of the month. And while I’m glad that it’s coming to a close, a part of me knows that this is the end of a chapter as well.

So, what have we been up to? Let’s see, 4 participation days in school, 4 field trips (2 missed because of illness), 2 bike days, 4 soccer games, 4 school meetings, grade 1 registration, a garage sale, gardening, 3 days of birthday celebration, the best birthday party ever, attendance at another birthday party, 1 random fever, 14 days of illness, another fever, strep, a round of antibiotics, house guests, house guests who end up in the hospital for 3 days, 2 epic photo books and now a kindergarten graduation on the horizon.

So, let’s break it down. School is almost done and in a way, thank GOD for that. It’s the biggest source of craziness right now with last minute field trips, celebrations and preparations. But at the same time… SNIFF! School is almost done! This is Mouse’s last year at this school before she moves onto big, public grade 1 in August. We LOVE our preschool and kindergarten and all of us have friends associated with it. It’s a bit sad when summer comes and we know we won’t see our friends daily. And it’s a place of change for me too. I’ll be moving from being “just a parent” and serving on the board, which has been a big thing for me, to being a parent and a TEACHER. For which I’m not prepared at all. I’ve also been making photo books for both girls’ teachers, a job I offer to do every year and lament every year because they are a pain in the butt. But, I know they will be worth the effort. I felt the same way last year – with photo books, school ending and the like.

The sickness. Oh, the sickness. Mouse started getting sick 2 weeks ago with a cold, which then turned into something else. Then Baboo had some weird random fever that lasted a day. Then I got sick with strep and now Mouse is even sicker and we’re both on antibiotics. Last year at this time Mouse was very sick with a stomach bug and just barely made it to school on the last day. She’s already missed 5 days of school just this month!

Hubster’s folks arrived to help us celebrate Mouse’s 6th birthday last Thursday. They arrived to a somewhat sick Mouse, me on the verge of losing my voice and getting strep, bike day and birthday celebrations at school for Mouse. Then I got strep and they had to take over our spot for the community garage sale, watch Mouse’s last soccer game (best birthday ever – she got a trophy!), and then I sucked it up and took the girls to another birthday party. We went for dinner for Mouse which we think lead to Hubster’s Dad ending up in the hospital for the last 3 days with a very serious case of gastroenteritis… but more on that later.

Sunday, after a few doses of antibiotics, I was supposedly no longer contagious and could move on to the big honkin’ birthday party for Mouse. It was fun… and over the top as I’m wont to do because geez, they only get 1 birthday a year – let’s make it MEMORABLE! I made the cake, planned the “great rescue of Queen Rainbow Flower’s treasure” and generally entertained 12 little girls for 2 hours with the help of Hubster's parents and the parents who stayed, croaking like a frog the whole time. However, it was very cool and Mouse loved every minute.

Monday Hubster rushed his Dad to the emergency room and after a few days of worry and not really knowing anything definitive – with discussions of exploratory surgery and the like, he finally seems to be improving.

Yesterday Mouse woke up in tears and it took me 1.5 hours to figure out that she was actually feverish and I suspected strep. Turns out it’s not strep but some secondary infection due to being sick so long and now she’s sporting 103 fever and gagging on antibiotics/Tylenol every few hours. Her kindergarten graduation is Friday and I’m just praying she’s well enough to go, though I may just drag her there anyway. Today she’s missing out on a cool train ride field trip and we’re all just bummed about it.

A part of me feels responsible for all of this. Hubster said that I’m not “happy” unless I’m moving through the end of the school year at a frantic pace. Well, I wouldn’t say that I was “happy” about it. Even without the extras that have happened, May would be a crazy month. There wasn’t a whole lot I could say “no” to. It is what it is and unfortunately, none of us here respond well to be dragged around at 150 mph. Our tempers, patience, energy and immunity are all a bit worse for wear.

My motto the whole month has been “just make it to May 29”. A friend recently asked me what was happening on May 29 and I looked at her emphatically and said “Nothing, absolutely NOTHING. And that’s the point.”

I know that next year, I’m going to have to find a way to be better prepared for May, because as much as I’d like to say that it won’t be as bad, and as much as Hubster would like to just skip the whole month altogether, it’s just going to be a crazy time. My only hopes for the here and now are that: father is law is well soon, the weather is good for the pool opening this weekend and the kids will be happy with my intention to have absolutely nothing planned for next week. I know it won’t last beyond that, but I sure hope we can at least get a week to catch our collective breath.

Sears Really Does Care

2010-05-05T08:16:00.002-04:00

So, I did realize that I had something somewhat worth noting to write about.

Just after I posted my complaint about my dying washer, I received an email from a Sears Care rep apologizing for my crappy service and asking me to contact them to discuss any options for helping to make this right. Initially, I figured it was a scam and ignored it. Then I got another email, and decided to search on the internet to see if it was real. I couldn’t find anything, so I emailed back and said “Listen, I’m not sure you’re a real person and I’m not giving you my personal information, so give me a number to call you.”

Very promptly, as in less than a day later, I get an email seemingly from a real person with a real phone number. I pondered on this again for a few days and decide to call. Strangely enough, I get a real person right away and it really is the Sears Service department.

They apologized for the crummy service and offered to refund some of my money and offered me a discount on a new machine.

Now, the old machine is still working and we’ve decided that until it dies we will just live with it. I hesitate to say that it hasn’t gotten any worse, but it’s still running and that’s ok with us.

They were quick, pleasant and I received my refund prompty and did try to work things out. I appreciate that kind of effort.

So, thank you Sears Cares.

More Funnies From the Kids

2010-04-26T20:51:00.001-04:00

As I seem incapable of finding time to write anything useful these days, allow me to further record funny things said by my children:

Driving in the car to school:
Mouse: Mom, I’m going to be in Grade 1 after I’m done in Kindergarten, right?
Me: Yup. In August, you’ll start at your new school in Grade 1.
Baboo: I’m going to Grade 1 too!
Mouse: No, Baboo, you’re going to be in Polliwogs with Mommy next year.
Baboo: Mom! You hear that!? I’m going to be a Probly-wog!

At the dinner table last night:
Hubster and I are talking about something relatively mundane when Baboo interrupts and states, rather loudly:
Baboo: Cowboys wear BOOTS!
Mouse: Yup.
Baboo: BIG boots.
Mouse: And cowgirls wear high heels.

Another Day, Another Tantrum

2010-04-22T10:13:00.001-04:00

I’m frazzled. I’m worn out. I’m cranky. I’m getting near the end of my rope.

Hubster’s been working late for the last few weeks, I’m up to my eyeballs in school commitments, I’m trying to get the garden/yard pulled together as much as I can with a borked shoulder (I did something to it last week that makes pushing, lifting and breathing painful), running errands and dealing with some long, long days with the girls. And I want to get started on planning for my teaching job in the fall, but frankly I have no time or energy to squeeze it in.

The topper to this craziness is that every single day this week someone has had a tantrum. Not little tantrums, but full blow out, kicking and screaming, clawing and crying tantrums. Every. Single. Day.

Yesterday, despite being warned of severe time limits, Mouse decided to make a picture for a friend before school. When her ride arrived, running a bit late, I had to drag her kicking and screaming, pry her hands off the door jamb to get her in the car. The whole neighborhood got an earful at 8:30 am.

Today, her tantrum was multifaceted. It was about piano and stickers and hair and the fact that I am a horrible, awful mother who has absolutely NOTHING better to do other than be MEAN to her. She’s almost 6. I can’t *wait* until she’s in her teens. Save me.

And if Mouse hasn’t been waxing poetic in tantrum form, Baboo has been sure to fill in the gaps. Getting dressed, crackers, milk, sand… if you can think of it, we’ve had a tantrum about it.

Good times here.

I just wish I rebounded as quickly as they seem to. Generally, after they’ve got it out of their systems and I’ve tried NOT to explode or put them on the street with a sign that says “Free to a Good Home”, they’re fine. They’re looking to be forgiven and move on as though some tantrum switch has been flicked. It’s harder for me not to seethe for a while and feel more than wrung out for hours afterward. I do hug them, let them know I still love them even if we’re mad at each other, but sometimes it’s through gritted teeth. Granted, right now, I’m definitely not handling these outbursts as well as I could and I’m hard on myself for it. I’m yelling back and throwing up my hands and saying “I don’t care” as I walk away too much. All very tantrum- like. Showing up one tantrum for another. Very mature, I know. I know it’s not the best way to handle these power struggles but I’m to just feeling too fried to be proactive. And that must stop.

I’m hoping that things cool off, though I feel like I’ve been saying that for months now. For now though, I’d settle for a nap. A nice long, QUIET, kid free nap.

Big News

2010-04-07T07:11:00.000-04:00

So that big news I was cranking about last night? The news that made me overreact to Baboo pooping in the pool, (though really, that was gross)?

Well, I heard last night about 10.

I've got a job. Yup. Me. ME!

I’m going to be a preschool teacher at my daughters’ cooperative school. I decided, after a lot of thought and encouragement from friends to apply back at the end of February. A good friend helped me edit and reedit my resume and kicked me in the pants several times to knock the copious amounts of negative self talk out of my head. Hubster also kicked me in the pants several times, but maybe that was just for fun. (kidding). He was so incredibly supportive and is always my biggest champion. I was happy with my submission but figured it would stop there.

I was the first person to get called for an interview and the first interviewee. I left feeling like a total moron and figured it would get left there.

Insert a month of waiting, and last night I finally got a call. Just as I was getting ready to shut everything down and just go to bed already, the call came in. And my heart is still pounding.

I love our school, love our teachers, love our philosophy, and love our members. They embrace whole families and this will give me an opportunity to work and sacrifice very little of the time I need to be with my family. Its’ 2 mornings a week and I certainly won’t be getting rich, but it’s a little something and who couldn’t use that right now? This is a place where I feel like I belong and when this job opportunity opened up, I felt like this is where I’m supposed to go. Apparently, the universe agrees.

I’ve got a whole lot to learn and some big shoes to fill, but I’m clearing out my mind and getting ready to absorb as much information as I can. Guess I’d better get to work. And by that, immediately, anyway, I’d better go and unload the dishwasher, get the girls up and tidy up as I have a Pilates class this morning. Haha.

Dear Local YMCA

2010-04-06T18:28:00.003-04:00

Oh my. To say that I’m mad doesn’t quite cut it, though I think that it’s mostly the fact that I didn’t sleep well last night, Hubster is working late, Baboo has eaten almost nothing all day again which frustrated me beyond reason, Mouse has been clinging and whining all day and am waiting for some news tonight that’s kind of stressing me out. I did not need this today. And so, yes, I was more than likely less, though marginally so, understanding than I would be on any other day.

To say that I’m embarrassed is also not quite right. Mortified is probably more appropriate.

My kid is the one who pooped in the pool requiring the evacuation of 30-odd people, who raced to the showers in horror after realizing they had been swimming in poop. My child’s poop. I was the mother with the beet red face, dragging her child across the deck, kicking and screaming, snot streaming down her face, praying that the ground would open up and swallow us whole.

Just a few minutes after the girls' swim class started (and the girls take the class with a neighbor friend as well, so yeah, nice) Mouse said “Hey! What’s that brown stuff in the pool?”, and I watched the instructor figure out that it was indeed poop, call the lifeguard to clear the pool. As the girls climbed out of the pool, I realized with a sinking feeling that it was likely Baboo. Sure enough, there it was.

I ran immediately to her and said “Did you poop in the pool?!” which she denied completely despite me pointing it out in her bathing suit.

Baboo has been potty trained for a year now. I can’t even remember the last time we had a poop accident. I thought about swim diapers when the girls started this round of swim lessons, but figured that she’d be ok as she so rarely has accidents. Normally, I wouldn’t care overly much, but when a number of other people are affected drastically and I witness the dirty looks (warranted, I agree) we got as we left the Y, this time I do care. I don’t expect my children to be perfect, but I also don’t want them to think that this is ok. We’ve got a long summer pool season ahead of us and I’d like to nip this in the bud now.

And I feel negligent for not insisting that she wear a diaper for a while longer as she is only 3, regardless of the fact that I thought she'd be fine. I feel like I look like the ‘bad’ or indulgent or careless parent for not putting my little one in a diaper. I feel like I wasn’t following the “rules”, though I know that any child could have an accident at any age. Really, almost any kid “should “ wear a diaper. Maybe she was tired, maybe I wasn’t watching closely enough to catch her before it was too late, but regardless, it’s done and now I have to just feel like, ha, crap for a while and then get over it.

Let me tell ya, bedtime can’t come soon enough tonight.

*edited to add: I did calm down and yes, crap happens. Baboo and I talked last night about how this is not a good thing to do and why. Calmly, without my face flaming. And this morning, I'm done beating myself up over this. I was more upset with myself than I was with Baboo. Swim diapers are definitely on the grocery list though.

You Know You're Old When...

2010-04-02T18:45:00.002-04:00

It’s 80 F, 6:30 pm, the girls are swinging in the backyard after dinner…

Mouse: Mom, I’m 5 and how much again?
Me: 5 and ¾.
Mouse: Oh yeah! And pretty soon I’ll be 6. Will I celebrate my birthday at school when I’m in first grade?
Me: I don’t know.
Mouse: That’s cos you don’t REMEMBER because it was so LONG ago! How old are you again and when did you go to first grade.?
Me: Uh, I’m 35 and it’s been almost 30 years since I was in first grade. Things have changed a lot since I was in first grade.
Mouse: Yeah! That’s a very, very, very long time ago. There aren’t any dinosaurs around any more now.
Me: I think it’s time to go in and get ready for a bath now… (good grief!)

Paps and Shells

2010-03-30T15:35:00.000-04:00

So, here we are on day 2 of spring break. We’ve just spent a lovely spring morning with some friends at the local zoo. The week isn’t turning out to be as quiet as I’d hoped, but life is certainly moving at a slower pace. It’s nice not to be rushing out the door every morning and fighting over clothes, hair, food, chores before 8 am.

Yesterday, the girls and I spent most of the morning in our pajamas before donning our rain boots to slog around in our very soggy and muddy yard – playing in the cool sunshine and puddles, hanging last years’ plastic Easter eggs on our apple tree in the front yard and dreaming of getting the garden in in a few weeks.

Yesterday afternoon, Baboo and I had appointments for our annual checkups. I couldn’t really find anyone to watch Mouse during this time that wouldn’t be kind of a pain to organize, so I brought her with us. Both Baboo and I were weighed, measured and asked to don paper gowns. Mine did not have cute little teddy bears on it and kept gaping at the bust. Classy.

Baboo went first, getting the full scope of a 3 year well visit including a much worried about shot. It’s hard to feel like I have any shred of dignity discussing my daughter while wearing a gaping paper gown.

Then it was my turn. I hoped that the girls would be “busy” with their lollipops, Dora bandaids and coloring books so I could discuss more grown up health issues – though surprisingly, regardless of your age, you still have to talk about poop and pee.

So then it was time for the PAP. We tried not to make a big deal out of it and had the girls move up towards my head so as not to be in right in line of sight of all that business down there. It’s not that we’re overly modest in our family or have not discussed bodies and functions and names, but really that’s a lot of reality for a 5 and 3 year old. A pelvic exam and PAP are never comfortable, and at one point I did say “ouch” which worried Mouse a lot. When she saw the speculum and the doctor basically buried to her elbow, her eyes grew to the size of saucers as she figured out what was going on and unconsciously and protectively she lowered her hands. I assured her when I was done, that I was fine, and that it’s a part of staying healthy and that one day, when she was GROWN up she’d need to have this done too. She asked how old I was and said she’d wait until she was 35 before starting any of that. I laughed out loud. I wish that were true!

I got my script for a mammogram, a tetanus shot, orders to lose a bit of weight, take vitamin D and fish oil and was sent on my merry way. As I was taking off my gown and gathering my clothes, Baboo reached over to pass me my bra saying loudly, “Mommy, don’t forget to put your shells back on”.

Tis The Season

2010-03-24T11:39:00.001-04:00

It’s that time of year; temperatures are rising, birds are singing, plants are starting to grow and I start checking out my summer clothes. And so, while the world comes alive with all sorts of springy loveliness, I’m sulky and whiney.

Every year, I quickly realize that the clothes I so carefully put away last fall are in worse shape than I remember. The pants/capris are faded and I notice stains that I didn’t see last year. The shirts are sweat and sunscreen stained (does that ever come out? Seriously. Gross.) and more than a little grubby around the edges. And maybe more than a few years old.

The other day, I was getting dressed to teach a Pilates class, looked in the mirror and thought “Yikes. This is looking a little rough!” The knees of my pants were very faded, a little saggy around the butt and the shirts were pilling and droopy. I realized that I’d been wearing the same pants for um, 6 years and shirts for just over 2 and they were very sad.

And so, it begins. The spring hunt for clothes; a vicious battle involving a short, curvy, (hourglass some say) somewhat heavy than before nearing middle age woman and a fashion industry that assumes all petites are 85 with very, very long torsos, thick waists, no hips and even shorter legs than I have now. Though, good luck finding a well stocked petite section at any store. The stock and choice in the stores is diminishing and it’s hard not to feel abandoned, as though being petite is not important enough to warrant floor space.

The shirts are too long, and those are supposed to be the “petites”. Most of the pants gape at the waist while make my thighs look like a sausage in a casing. Oh, and then there’s the flood factor of the pants not quite reaching the top of my shoes. But if they’re not too short, they’re dragging on the ground.

And who designed the lighting and mirrors in those change rooms? Some kind of twisted circus hell bent on making grown women cry at the sight of all those fleshy dimples on their ass? I think so.

I’m not asking for much. Decent clothes that are not too hard on my budget. I’m not overly trendy or fashionable, but I don’t want to go out looking like a schlep either. Yeah, I could go to a tailor, but well, who has time or money for that? And oh yes, I love the higher end stores; Ann Taylor Loft makes me swoon, but well, I’m a stay at home Mom who is hard on her clothes, especially in the summer, so I have a reallllly hard time justifying $25 for a t-shirt. It’ll stain and fade just as fast as a $10 one.

However, since I can’t really walk around naked this spring and summer, (there’s not enough in the therapy budget for that!) I will continue to scope out the stores, ever hopeful that I’ll find a winning rack of pants that fit and shirts that don’t hit my knees and be able to put together an outfit or 2 that won’t make me feel like blue hair rinse and orthopedic sandals are requuired to make it complete.

Wish me luck.

Another Run By Posting

2010-03-23T14:25:00.000-04:00

Oh, poor neglected blog. You are so at the bottom of my priority list right now. Or, at least if there was a list, you’d be at the bottom. Right now I’m just flapping around rushing frantically from one desperately neglected item to the next. Ahead of you has been: 2 huge school functions, a 3 yr old birthday party, house guests, cleaning, grocery shopping, school, doctor appointments, swimming lessons… yada-yada-yada. You get the idea.

However, that’s not to say that some great and weird things haven’t been happening and if I could blog via telepathy, they’d ALLLLL be documented. But they’re not. And because I’m seriously lacking in the sleep department, my memory is the size of a dried up pea.

So, Baboo turned 3 recently and she shares her birthday with my best friend’s (Becprints) daughter H. I know, what are the chances of that? I said it outloud when I was pregnant with Baboo as in “Hey, wouldn’t it be funny if this baby was born on H’s birthday “ And it happened. True story. Anyway, we had a rockin’ kitty cat bash this year as it was the “year of the cat” at our house. The kids came, devoured cat shaped sandwiches and jell-o jigglers, cat cupcakes, ran around with cat masks on meowing, smashed “cat chow” (rainbow Cheerios) into the carpet and had an awesome time. Hubster’s parents and his cousin (who I secretly refer to as the sister I ALWAYS wanted) drove down to share the weekend with us and we all enjoyed the company and extra help.

And all that said, I can’t believe my “baby” is 3 and proudly telling me “Mama! You don’t need to come into the baf-woom wif me because I’m FWEE and ALL GROWED UP now!”. Ok, then.

In other awesome news, after much angst and nashing of teeth, Mouse was invited to attend an awesome elementary school in our district. I’m BEYOND excited about it. We got the letter on Saturday – after I gave up hope of it coming, and I literally was dancing around the kitchen. Mouse looked at me with some kind of shocked horror because this really wasn’t what she pictured for grade 1.

And then it hit me that she’ll be going into grade 1. In a few months. Good grief. But at least she’ll be at an awesome school and Baboo is automatically grandfathered in and so I don’t have to freak out about the next level until Mouse reaches grade 5.

In my last post I posted about the washer and it’s possible imminent death. So far it’s still running and we’ll continue to just let it do it’s thing for as long as we can keep it going. It really seems to be ok now, but we’ll assume that that may not last. Sears Cares apparently has sent me an email to try to “increase my satisfaction with their service” but I’m in the process of checking to see if it’s a scam or not.

And despite things being increasingly hectic, (what happened to a slow January/February? Seriously? It’s been CRAZY around here lately) spring break is around the corner and we have NO plans other than sitting around in our pajamas and doing basically nothing. Ok, that’s not really true. We have a few small appointments and we’ll squeeze in some fun but we will not be running around at breakneck speed until we all want to just hurt someone. At least I hope not.

Appliance Purgatory

2010-03-10T19:48:00.003-05:00

Today, Sears visited us again, for a whopping $130, excuse me $129 but who’s freaking counting to tell us that our washing machine is dying. Oh and when they were here in January, the visit only cost $109, so they've jacked the price $20. Thanks Sears! Grrr. We “could” replace the parts, but it would almost as much as a new washer. And Mr. Blue Crew “I’ve been doing this since Moses” did nothing other than say if we didn’t have a family of four with two of us being young children who generate mountains of laundry, our appliance choice (front loader, not enormous sized) would have been appropriate, but he’s surprised it’s lasted this long.

Funny, the damned sales people didn’t tell us that when we bought it. Hmph.

Now, it’s not like this is a new machine, it’s about 5 years old and it’s been a workhorse. Lots of clothes, diapers, bedding, towels have found their cleanliness in its’ sudsy tub. It’s done well, but really, only 5 years? And that’s GOOD? What the heck?

And $129 bucks to tell me it’s dying. Really, that’s all he did other than turn on the rinse cycle for 3 minutes. RIP. OFF.

If it seems like I’m a bit overly sensitive, that’s because I am. It seems like we’ve had a lot of appliance angst lately, like our recent oven issue, and the lest we forget the microwave. But that’s not all, oh no! We had to replace our electric kettle recently because our old one didn’t turn off one night, and while thankfully it didn’t burn down the house, it boiled dry and then nearly melted. Yeah, scary. We replaced it with a stainless steel one that sounds like a freaking jet engine when it’s on. I was on the phone one day with my Mum and turned the kettle on, and she asked a train was going by. True story. Nice.

And we also recently bought a new toaster oven and coffee maker. Both Black and Decker and mounted under the counter. In the past these have been our favorites and expected no less this time. Well, they’re just over a year old and the toaster oven only cooks at one end and hope you like it SUPER toasty – as in burnt. B&D also took out a few of my favorite features from previous models – like the pull out crumb tray (they’ve got a drop down pan and guess where the crumbs go? Allll over the counter. Argh!) and the little hook thing on the door to pull out the rack so you don’t burn your hand getting your toast out. Why? Why did they remove these useful gadgets?

The coffee maker has leaked from day one, takes a while and the little rubber thing that allows the pause feature to work is already broken off the basket. Sucky. And it’s a pain to clean.

To say the least, I’m not thrilled to be budgeting to buy a new washer sometime in the next year … IF I’m lucky, apparently, it’ll probably be sooner than that. I’m told to just let it run until either the whole thing breaks or the noise gets to be so bad I can’t stand it. Apparently, they just dont' make them as good as they used to. And it's really, really true. However, I guess that's how they keep making $129/house call.

Just Take the Alligator

2010-02-28T09:42:00.002-05:00

I tell ya, this kid is totally cracking me up these days, and while YOU may be sick of the Baboo anectodes, I’m writing them down so I don’t forget them. (and it’s my blog, so nah,nah,nah,nah,nahhhh)

Yesterday, while waiting for the tire to be fixed on the car, we, Hubster, the girls and I were wandering around a local enormous sporting goods store, looking for soccer gear for Mouse. As Mouse was trying on some cleats (and she looks so freaking adorable in her shorts and cleats) Baboo kept trying to get Hubster’s attention.

Baboo: Daddy! DADDY! Look!

Hubster: (looking through mountains of boxes of cleats trying to find some small enough for Mouse, distractedly)… Yes, Baboo.

Baboo: DADDY! LOOK AT THE ALLIGATOR!

Hubster: (still distractedly) Um, I don’t think there are any alligators here.

Baboo: YES THERE IS! RIGHT THERE! (pointing dramatically and vaguely)

Hubster: (finally paying attention, looking around) Well, I don’t see any alligators, Baboo. Do you see a picture somewhere of an alligator?

Baboo: (sighing dramatically) DA-DDY. It’s RIGHT there? See? You go up? Can we go and ride on the alligator?

Hubster: (blinking in shock and confusion – then the light goes on): OOOOH! You mean the ESCALATOR!

Baboo: That’s what I said! The alligator. The big stairs! Can we ride on them?

Hubster: (trying not to laugh) Once we’re done with the shoes, we’ll go over there.

Baboo: (jumping up and down like she’s won the lottery) YAY! I can finally ride on an ALLIGATOR!!

18.

2010-02-27T07:41:00.003-05:00

Today, you would have turned 18. I can’t even fathom you at that age.

Tall? Likely. Elegant? Maybe. Same smart witty personality? God, I hope so.

I can’t imagine talking about university, dating and career paths, but that’s likely what we’d be doing. In my mind, you grow up beautifully, with few bumps in the road, happy and successful. In my heart, you’re always 11, a little girl on the verge of growing up, with the soul of a saint and huge brown eyes filled with wisdom beyond your years.

Regardless of the past or future, you’re missed. And still loved so very much.

Happy 18th birthday, M.

A Birthday.
Turning a Blind Eye.

TGIF...(Today we Got an Idiotic Flat)

2010-02-26T14:50:00.000-05:00

Oh, it’s been a long couple of days. Mouse is better, thankfully, and even more thankfully, no one else got sick. Hor-ray.

We’re all still a little worn out though, frazzled around the edges, droopy and ready for a rest. Today is Friday and we’ve all been looking forward to the weekend. Mouse had piano a lesson right after school (it went pretty well despite practicing only twice this week) and though we did think about going to the library, we all elected to just go home and chill out. I was looking forward to a sitting and reading my book and having a nice hot cup of coffee when, BAM! We rounded a corner, hit one of those massive winter potholes and totally blew a tire. *insert expletive here*.

FORTUNATELY, we have AAA because I’m all girly ‘n stuff and though I probably could change the tire, I didn’t want to. The whole service experience rocked and we were outta the parking lot we were waiting in in there in less than half an hour. Worth every penny!

As we were waiting for the service guy to come, I unbuckled the girls and they climbed into the front seat and we goofed around and ate crackers and looked at library books. At one point, Baboo was trying to wink. She kept trying to close just one eye, but just couldn’t get it figured out. Mouse said “Baboo! You need to close just ONE eye. Why can’t you do that?” and Baboo replied, emphatically “I don’t KNOW! I think it’s out of batteries!”

It was the right note to keep the day light hearted, and we laughed about as we drove home on our banana yellow spare tire.

Pedaling in Flippers

2010-02-24T19:40:00.003-05:00

Ever get the feeling that you’re pedaling in flippers? Well, maybe that’s because you are.

It’s been that kind of day here. Mouse had stomach bug last night and so it was a long night as I was up with her every hour until this morning. I guess that 2 other girls from her class were also sick last night. And of course, I was in Mouse’s class yesterday as a participating parent.

Things settled down for Mouse by this morning, but she was definitely wrung out for the rest of the day as were the rest of us who got little sleep. So we all spent most of the day lounging around and taking it easy. So far, I’m doing ok other than feeling a bit queasy, but that could just be from lack of sleep.

Baboo is fine, and I wonder if she’s more resistant to the stomach bugs as she got the rota virus vaccine. Regardless, she slept just fine last night and as much fun as it was to have a popsicle at breakfast and watch hours of tv like poor Mouse, she eventually got bored.

I had an errand to run, so I took her out to the grocery store while Hubster and Mouse rested. That killed about an hour. When we got back she was antsy and the rest of us were fried. She generally plays well by herself and today she was a trooper. While the 3 of us barely stayed awake on the couch, she played and chatted by herself for quite a long time. When she came around the corner into the kitchen riding her tricycle in swim flippers, I just had to summon the energy to get off my butt and find the camera.

Today felt exactly like we were all pedaling in flippers.

Piano Torture

2010-02-21T14:25:00.000-05:00

(*Warning! Vent ahead!)

Mouse has been taking piano lessons once a week with a wonderful teacher since September. Initially she started out fine. Willing to learn, bursting with confidence, loving every class and being excited to practice. She was learning quickly and I knew she would.

However, since around Christmas time, things have changed. Yes, the music has gotten a bit harder, but not extremely so. Mouse now second guesses every single note, even the ones she KNOWS. She plays the “dumb girl” (which I hate saying – but it’s true). She’s tilts her head to the side, raises her shoulders and says with her best Valley Girl voice “Oh. Um, I um, think that um, that it’s, um… an um… D??” She wants me to say “yes, that’s right” to every single note she plays. However, she WILL NOT allow me to use my finger to help her follow the music on the page. She screams at me in that 5-going-on-13 voice that she can do it herself! Practice has become a form of torture for both of us. I end up beyond frustrated and nearly furious. She ends up miserable. It’s not a good place to be.

We talked over Christmas break and I asked her if she really LIKED piano lessons or if she was just taking lessons because she thought that’s what I wanted her to do and she adamantly said she loved them. When I suggested that we take a break from classes and start them again next year when she was a bit older, I was met with an enormous tantrum and a storm of tears. I explained that learning to read music and play the piano wasn’t something she could just go to class once a week and learn. She needed to practice in between lessons, daily in fact, even if just a little bit. I try to get her to practice for just 5 minutes a day and we both end up nearly in tears.

We’ve tried practicing at different times of the day, but to be honest, we both dread the 5-15 minutes and I think we avoid it, even unintentionally at times and so some weeks she only practices once or twice. But it embarrasses me when we go to her lessons and she’s barely practiced. I feel like a bad Mom for not encouraging her better. But Mouse doesn’t care and generally does fine at her lesson.
She’s 5, almost 6 and I know she’s young. But she’s smart. And I’m torn. I hate seeing a self-depreciating behavior in her already. When I see her doing the “dumb girl” act it’s all I can do not to yell “You are SMART and you can DO this!”, but I know that won’t help to build her confidence.

I see myself in her right now and it makes me sad and mad. I want her to feel confident enough to take a risk and learn something new, to practice and try at ANYTHING even if she doesn’t get it perfect. I want her to be more than I was; to be brave enough to ALLOW herself to have more opportunities and take chances. I don’t want her to miss out because she’s too self conscious to try, too embarrassed to make mistakes, like I was and to a much lesser degree still am.

It’s very important to me that the girls learn how to read music. I don’t care what instrument they play, but I think learning to read music is a very important skill. I’m worried that I’m trying to start her too early and am squashing any genuine desire she might have to do this. We chose piano because we had one and we could find a teacher that she really liked, and well, she seemed interested in learning.

I’ve spoken with her teacher quite a bit about this and she feels like Mouse is doing well and to not be worried. She can tell that she’s bright and is catching on, and that Mouse adores her. Mrs. H is awesome apparently.

But I hate feeling mean and walking away from her practices feeling like I need a drink because I’m so worked up. I hate feeling like I’m just making matters worse. I hate that she looks so sad when we’re done because it’s like she’s failed to “please me”. I want her to have fun and to enjoy learning but I know it’s not something I can force.

I guess I need to think some more about this and decide what to do. Sigh.

From the Mouth of Baboo...

2010-02-12T17:48:00.001-05:00

I’m swamped and treading water like crazy trying to keep up with life these days. Too busy livin’ and runnin’ to write. Sorry. However, while Mouse has been going through some weird 5.5 year old tantrum transitions (good grief), Baboo who will be 3next month is cracking me up with the things she’s saying.

Baboo is fascinated with trying to write her letters right now. She recognizes them all, which surprises me as she learned them without me really doing anything. And I remember at this age, Mouse being driven to figure out the mechanics of writing as well, so we’re going with it. The other day, Baboo brought out a little notepad and some crayons and said it was time to work on her “letter-bet”.

This morning as I was brushing Baboo’s hair, she looked down at her hands and noticed some silver craft sparkles on them.
Baboo: Mom! Look at my hands. Theres’ some SPARKLES on dem!
Me: Wow. Look at that. Pretty!
Baboo: I don’t want to wash my hands. They’re soooo “blinky”.

Today, after school, piano, traffic, Valentine’s day parties, elementary school shopping, Literacy night planning, Pilates classes, yada-yada, the girls and I were feeling kind of run down and decided to have an afternoon on the couch. Mouse was very cuddly and seems to need that kind of thing right now, and Baboo wasn’t going to be left out, so we just cuddled and watched some tv and read a mountain of books. It was very nice. After a while, the wigglies moved in and the girls started to get silly. They started smooshing my face around (and I remember doing the same to my mother) with their hands to make me make silly faces. At one point, I took my glasses off so they wouldn’t get broken and was holding them in my hands. Baboo, tried to grab them and yelled, “HEY! It’s MY TURN with the glasses! I want to look weird too!” I’m still not sure how to take that.

To my in Eastcoastville… stay warm! Doubley yikes on all the snow you guys have gotten!

What the Flagnar!?

2010-01-24T10:07:00.001-05:00

Ever see the kids movie Monsters vs Aliens? I haven’t been able to watch the WHOLE thing, but there’s a line in there that I’ve adopted. The little cockroach guy says it. It’s “What the flagnar”. Say it. Go ahead. Out loud, REAL loud. It’s even more satisfying than an expletive. And safer for children’s ears.

This has been the statement repeated often the past few weeks. Life has suddenly gotten messy and complicated and just plain weird. I’ve often been muttering “What the flagnar!?”.

So what’s borked in our life these days?

Well, first we noticed that we had a leak under the sink. We were alarmed, but dealt with it thankfully because a good friend’s husband is an amazing handy-man.

Then, both kids got sick. I took Baboo to a walk in clinic last Saturday and learned she had bronchitis. Ever try to fill a prescription on a Saturday night? Good luck.

Then on Friday, after school, when no appointments are available anywhere, we make another trip to the walk in clinic with Mouse who has spent 3 hours screaming and writhing on the floor in pain. I suspect an ear infection, and give Tylenol, lots of hugs and a heating pad for the ear, but have to wait for the Sears guy to come and fix the oven (more on that later). As the kids are waiting in the car in the garage, I’m shoving the Sears guy out the door with a gritted teeth smile (just GO already!) and grateful that for 2 minutes I can’t hear Mouse screaming because she is in the car, in the garage and the doors are closed. I throw some Advil at Mouse and start driving to the clinic. Thankfully, it’s not busy and we’re seen within 20 minutes. When we walked in, Mouse was still crying and hurting, a pain I know well as I had chronic ear infections as a kid, so I’m sympathetic, but well, ready to have it over with. By the time the nurse practioner got to us, a mere 25 minutes post Advil dose, Mouse was smiling and laughing and saying “Oh, my ear doesn’t really hurt any more”. What the flagnar!? Apparently, I learned that Ibuprofen is like Tylenol with codeine for kids and pain. I file this away and feel a bit guilty that I didn’t give it to her sooner, but glad I did eventually give it to her. Good Mom/Bad Mom. Of course, now she’s on antibiotics twice a day for 10 days. Did I mention that she doesn’t take medicine well and throws up almost every time she has to take it? No. Well, now you know. We’re on day 2. 8 more to go. Sigh.

So, the oven. I guess it felt jealous of the microwave and wanted to get some attention too. On Thursday, it was raining and nasty and we decided it would be a good day to make a mess in the kitchen, also known as bake cookies. We mixed ‘em all up, flour everywhere and popped 3 pans into the oven. After 4 minutes I rotated the pans and noticed that they didn’t seem to be very far along. Repeat again in 3 minutes. Wait another 20 mins when they should actually be TOAST, and realize that the oven is no longer hot at all and won’t light. Mutter expletives and get out oven manual, search on Google for 5 minutes and figure out that the ignitor was likely gone. Great.

I scheduled an appointment with Sears on Friday between the hours of 1-5 (way to screw a whole afternoon) to the tune of $100 for them to come and LOOK at it and say “yup, it’s broken” while baking ½ baked cookies 4 at a time in the toaster oven. Fun. Apparently it was the ignitor and the repair man, while nice, seemed to take forever, but maybe it was Mouse wailing in the background that was making me crazy. And the cost to have it all fixed? Cheaper than a new stove, but only just barely.

And last week, the woman that Hubster carpools with gave her notice to end the rides. And really, it was a bit of a blessing and not a surprise as it really wasn’t working any more. She was often very late, making Hubster late etc so we knew it was coming. We were planning to buy a second car later this year and hoped to make the carpool last until spring when Hubster could ride his scooter to work, but apparently the universe had other plans. Like to get us to spend money FASTER. Argh. Flagnar!

We tried to find an alternative, however, there aren’t many carpool or public transpo options where we live, so we’ve been scrambling this week to find a second vehicle. Which has meant some frenzied searching, frazzled nerves and a few loud “discussions”. There have been a few “we think we’ve found one”s, that have not worked out, which is very frustrating and it’s hard feeling like everyone (private sellers, dealerships etc) is lying to you. But we really do think we’ve found one that will work out. A yellow, yup, yellow VW Beetle. Ha! But the deal isn’t done yet, so we’re kind of holding our breath. The only good thing is that this was on my list of “goals” for this year, so I’ll get one off the list sooner than I anticipated.

My calendar looks like someone threw up in marker on it this month. It’s chaos. I’m trying to find time to exercise and get organized/plan but can’t seem to get it in there. We’ve got appointments and classes and field trips and meetings up the whazoo this month. It’s kind of mind boggling to be honest. Next month we start the “find the right school for Mouse next year” madness and I’m so not looking forward to that.

My desk is a mess. The playrooms are a mess. In fact the whole house is a mess and yet, I sit here typing instead of doing something about it in my pajamas.

However, we’ve managed to get through the week and believe it or not January is almost done and so far, February on the calendar is significantly less colorful. It feels as though the pace of this year had been set to “warp speed”.

And all that said, I’m hungry and need more coffee, so I guess I’ll get this day fired up and start there.

Let's Buy a Box

2010-01-14T08:30:00.001-05:00

Let me preface this post by saying I am not being paid to talk about this company. Heck, I don’t even know if I’m allowed to do this, but I’ll start it anyway and if I’m not supposed, I know someone will let me know.

My days have been filled to the brim with all sorts of funny, bloggable moments, but frankly, they’re so full and I’m too busy basking in them and well, trying to keep up with the rest of life to find time to blog. Sorry.

I could tell you about Baboo telling me yesterday, that she doesn’t think that the fish cracker riding a bicycle on the side of the Pepperidge Farm Goldfish box was real. Her reasoning, correctly if I might add, is that fish can’t ride bikes because they don’t have legs. And therefore can’t wear pants. Emphasis on the “pants”. I guess pants are a must to ride a bike.

I could tell you about my fearless girls at the BIG sledding hill this year, rocketing down mogels on their little princess sleds like pros. And Baboo whining for an hour because she *IS* BIG and CAN go down by herself. She’s all of 2 for pete’s sake.

Or I could tell you about us getting locked out of our house on said sledding day and having to break into the house by breaking a door jam.

I should be trying to blog about my weight loss efforts, but I really can’t seem to get the time to put together a coherent post about it. Or I should be delivering the New Year’s resolutions I promised a few weeks ago.

I could bore you to tears with the many examples of my cotton-headed-ninny-ness of late. The many times I’ve forgotten things, lost things… like my mind, or gone to the wrong place.

But I won’t right now. I will find time to do those other things later. However, I am able to find time right now to ask you to help me. I found THIS company last year. I think it was a CNN article that directed me to their website. I love that this company gives a family (of up to 10!) the tools needed to be safe, to cook, have clean water, a dry place to sleep and tools to start rebuilding their lives, all contained in a sturdy multi-purpose box. I love that there are toys for the kids. I love that they give families some dignity; a temporary home when they have nothing. I was so inspired by Shelter Box, that I seriously considered becoming an advocate for them. Really seriously.

When the news broke of the devastation in Haiti, I couldn’t help but be shocked. It’s horrible and beyond sad. My heart is breaking for everyone affected by this, and the outreach of this is huge. It’s natural to want to help, and we sure do. My first thought was of Shelter Box. I logged onto the website, which was very slow, I hope from people logging on to donate. Eventually, things came up and I was able to make a donation towards a box. A full box costs $1000. I would love to buy a box, but it’s not really realistic.

At dinner tonight, Hubster and I were talking and he said he spent a long time on the Shelter Box site, watching the videos and becoming inspired by the good things they do. How SMART the system is. I mentioned that it seemed like $100 didn’t seem like enough.

And so, I thought of posting to see if you’d help us buy a box. If a few people pitched in we’d be able to buy one. I don’t know for sure that it would go to Haiti, but I do know that there are thousands of people around the world who would sure benefit from a leg up.

There are a bunch of fabulous charities doing much needed work. They’re all good, and all needed. This is a good one too and if you haven’t done anything yet, we’d love it if you helped us with this one.

Log onto the Shelter Box site (this is the link to the US one, but they have depots in other countries) and make donation. Let’s see if together we can buy a box and help a family out.

If you donate, leave me a comment and tell me how much you donated so I can tally it up.

100, um, 50... ok 35 Things About Me

2010-01-07T20:07:00.002-05:00

In lieu of a real post about anything important (AGAIN... I KNOW!), I will distract you with a few useless factoids about myself. I think this makes this the lamest post ever.

1.I love coffee. Black, unsweetened coffee. I’m not picky, and I’m not fancy.
Heck, I’ll even drink it cold.
2.While, I’m not picky about my coffee, I don’t like Starbucks. Ick.
3.Chocolate is my middle name. Or maybe my whole name is just coated in chocolate. (mmm)
4.I’m allergic to red and blue dye. It killed me to open the Twizzlers this Halloween and just SMELL them. Curse that throat swelling.
5.I have an irrational fear of fish. Live ones. They wig me out. I used to have nightmares about them as a kid.
6.I’m Canadian.
7.I have another irrational fear of being rear-ended when slowing down or stopping. (it happened once 2 years ago and I’m still not over it).
8.I like my teeth and my eyes and hate my ass.
9.As much as I’ve tried them, even coated in bacon, I just don’t like Brussel sprouts. Or liver for that matter.
10.I also don’t like sushi or seafood, other than just plain fish.
11.I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.
12.When I was 15 I was asked what I was good at, what my “natural gift” was and I couldn’t answer the question. I still can’t.
13.I love to cook but hardly ever follow a recipe.
14.I’m not such a great baker because of #13.
15.I make a roast chicken that would knock your socks off, even if you weren’t wearing any.
16.I’m a better planner than a doer.
17.I wrote an entry in my journal after my first day of high school in grade 9 when I was 14 talking about how cute the spikey haired blonde boy was behind me in geography class. That boy became Hubster 6 years later.
18.Cilantro is my favourite herb. I think I could eat a whole bunch of it alone.
19.I don’t like driving at night. I especially don’t like driving at night in the rain.
20.I absorb a lot of useless information.
21.Unfinished pottery gives me the willies.
22.So do black boards and chalk. (shiver. Ick)
23.I secretly wish I could sing or play violin.
24.Right now, my vacation fantasy is checking into a hotel alone with comfy pjs, good munchies and a stack of books, unplugging the phone and sleeping, reading for about 3 days. Oh, and maybe a facial or massage. Or both thrown in for fun.
25.Once upon a time I was going to be an anthropologist AND be the curator of my own museum (except I suck remembering historical dates). Then I was going to be a pediatrician. And then an obstetrician. And then a midwife. I am none of these things.
26.I sometimes wish I could live like Laura Ingalls.
27.My most favourite movie is Princess Bride.
28.I love to read. Some of my favourite books are Girl of the Limberlost (oh, yeah, I want to be her too sometimes), The Clan of the Cave Bear series and the Outlander Series.
29.One of my best friends is someone I’ve known since I was 11.
30.I love any food that is “pot pied”.
31.I also love Applebee’s Spinach Artichoke dip. (now I want some). It’s like crack for me.
32.I do not own a sweatshirt.
33.I lived in New Zealand for a year. It was a turning point in my life.
34.I suffered from mild eating disorders as a teenager.
35.I love to watch Biggest Loser, House, Fringe and What Not To Wear.

Wishing You...

2009-12-31T16:58:00.003-05:00

I'm just hopping on quickly tonight, before we head out the door to ring in the new year with our neighbours to wish all of you a safe and happy 2010. It's hard to believe that 2009 will be over in the matter of a few hours. I don't know how it's possible, but this year seems to have flashed by even faster than last year.

I love the promise of a new year. Shiny new with no blemishes yet; like a blank page, just waiting to be filled in, and this year, we've got some good things coming up. This past year was a challenge for me in many ways, and 2010 won't be without it's challenges, but I feel good about where we are in our lives right now and am looking forward to 2010 more openly and with less trepidation than I have in the past few years.

So, a question: do you set goals/resolutions? If you do, what are your main ones for this year? I'll try to post mine tomorrow.

Whatever you do to ring in the new year, even if it means going to bed at 8:30 (not that I've ever done that... ahem. Oh... um... ok, so maybe once or twice) I hope you have fun.

It's a Wrap

2009-12-28T14:57:00.000-05:00

Another holiday over and done with. Weeks of planning, shopping, wrapping, cooking done in a matter of a day. Hours, actually. But it was good, very good this year.

I was able to convince Mouse to go back to sleep for a few hours after she woke up at 4:50 am, I, however, could not be convinced to go back to sleep. Oh well. We all “got up” at 7:45. The girls were so much fun this year – running around and squealing over the gifts. Delightedly exclaiming after each thing “It’s ‘zactly what I WANTED!”. The only thing that threw Mouse for a loop was a (much needed) metronome for her piano practice. She wasn’t sure what it was at first, and after a bit of explanation she exclaimed “OOOHH! A ticky-tocky thing! It’s ‘zactly what I WANTED!”. Too funny.

We had very few duds, and pretty much all hits this year. The primo toy is Baboo’s Strawberry Shortcake Café, which I bought out of desperation because I had no other ideas. They have both played for hours with this. Mouse loves her Pixos, Chixos. And we got some fun games as well. A winner has been Zingo – a take on Bingo. Baboo calls it ZigZag, but we all know what she means. The pink and purple Wii remotes are also very awesome. The girls love having their own remotes.

We’re not overwhelmed with new stuff and have a few things that will last us all year, which is great. A good balance, I think.

Dinner turned out awesome. I’m definitely getting the turkey down. Delicious. And if you’ve never tried a Butter Braid pastry – you must find a fundraiser to buy it from. Oh yum. They’re good.

Unfortunately, after Christmas shopping was a bit of a bomb, as there was very, very little to choose from, if anything at all. Oh well. And also unfortunately, we sent both of Hubster’s parents home sick. In the middle of a blizzard. Sigh. I’ve since bleached every piece of washable fabric I could get my hands on, including pillows, so hopefully, next time we have company, I won’t feel as guilty if anyone goes home sick.

This week, we’re looking forward to some playdates with friends, chilling out a bit, playing with our new things, and playing in our newly fallen snow. We’ve got plans with some friends for a casual New Year’s Eve, and it’ll be a good end to this interesting year.

The Children Were Nestled..

2009-12-24T20:38:00.004-05:00

All snug in their beds. Mostly. I think they’re still awake and probably levitating 6 inches off the mattress with excitement, but the girls are in bed and we’re waiting to be “Santa”. It may take a while, but that’s ok. I remember what it was like to try to fall asleep on Christmas Eve. It was HARD. I'm excited for them. This is so much fun!

We are ready for Christmas. It was nice just having today to relax. We were not running around like crazy. We were able to enjoy today and just relax. We’ve really had an excellent month all truth be told. Every day we’ve done something fun to prepare for Christmas. The chocolate advent calendars in the morning with the little activity cards kept the anticipation at an even keel all month. And it was fun. Nothing seemed really overwhelming. It worked and I’m glad. I feel like I’m going into tomorrow pretty calm and peaceful. I like that.

Today, Hubster had the day off and the girls were absolutely bouncing off the walls with excitement. The day was shaping up to be rainy and cold, so we took that bouncy energy to one of those indoor bounce-house playground things. It was just what Santa ordered. Those girls bounced, slid and ran for 2 hours. The rest of the day was pretty quiet, just puttering around the house, but it was a nice day.

The only sad part is that despite me begging the universe, my poor mother in law is sick. Pretty sick. Bad sore throat and now it’s spreading to her ear. She’s slept most of today and joined us tonight for our traditional finger food Christmas Eve dinner, but she’s still not feeling well. What is it with people getting sick at my house? Good grief!? My Mum got sick here a few weeks ago and last year SHE was the one who was lying at death’s door with a horrible stomach bug. This year it’s my mother in law. I hope she's better by tomorrow.

Anyway, the cookies and milk (with apples, carrots and celery and a bottle of water for the reindeer in case they are hungry and thirsty) are set out for Santa, The Night Before Christmas read, Santa tracked at the NORAD site, cuddles and reassurances that Santa IS coming tonight, kids tucked and retucked into bed and now us grown-ups are just waiting to finish up the Santa duties. I hear crunching in the living room, so I suspect that Hubster and his Dad are making short work of the goodies. At least part of the job is done.

I hope that the magic of Christmas (if you celebrate) is alive in your house tonight. It sure is at ours.

Ready for the Man in Red

2009-12-20T08:41:00.001-05:00

We’ve survived crazy week and made it to the weekend in one piece, with the house ready for Christmas and guests. The only souvenir (I cannot spell that word, thank you spell checker) I have from a week of pretty crappy sleep and going 120mph is a weird half cold. I’ve been half sinus congested, kind of tight in the chest, with kind of a cough. Sort of sick but, not really bad and really just bad enough to feel kind of crappy. On the advice of a friend, I’ve been drinking orange juice with cayenne pepper in it, hoping to get this cold moving out of here. Though my nose is starting to drip a bit, mostly I’m just feeling a lot of burning.

And I’m praying to any god that will listen that I DO NOT pass this onto Josh’s folks who are visiting here this week. I don’t think I can deal with guilt of sending more family members home sicker than dogs.

However, school is done for 2 weeks. The presents are bought, wrapped, shipped if required and neatly tucked under the tree. Baking done and delivered to teachers, friends, neighbors. Santa has been visited and has received “the list”. Cards are sent. Groceries bought, turkey procured. Family safely arrived. We’ve even had a dusting of snow which thrills the girls to no end, so all in all, things are ready for Christmas. I’m sure that something last minute will come up, but for now, I’m happy to just enjoy this time.

It’s nice to know that some things have gone well, when other things – I’m glaring in your direction mortgage company and bank… are not going so well. To say that I’m frustrated, is well, a bit of an understatement. I guess it means my holiday spirit is being tempered by real life, to a degree. However…..

My mantra is “peace and joy, peace and joy”. Breathe in, breathe out, even if it means through gritted teeth some of the time.

Perpetually Dropping Balls

2009-12-11T14:18:00.001-05:00

Wow. I don’t think I’ve gone this long without posting before. It’s not that I didn’t have anything to say, I’m sure I did… but….but…. (insert excuse here).

Things have been busy here. My folks arrived shortly after Thanksgiving weekend and well, when you get my Mum and I together, chances are we’re going to be hectic. It’s amazing how much we can cram into a week. This time, I had her help me decorate for the holidays. Our pathetic 15 year old decorations were starting to look at little sad, so we cooked up a theme and got down to work, shopping, planning and arranging and then futzing. We’re good at that. All in all it looks good. I kept the old stuff I love, got some new things and it all looks very festive and sparkly and festive.

We did a lot of running around, baking, shopping, talking, card addressing and then of course, there was still school and piano and Pilates and meals and LIFE that had to be squeezed in all of that. It was wonderful having them here, and maybe it was because of everything that’s happened over the last few months, but this time seemed so precious to me, even though my Mum gets sick 9.9 times out of 10 when she comes and my Dad ends up stuck with the girls many times so my Mum and I can talk and shop and putter around. It wasn’t a hugely exciting visit; it was mostly just day to day living when they were here, but I’m grateful for everything they do for me, for us and love watching them with the girls. They’re heading down to Sunnyville and for the first time in a long time I don’t know when I’m going to see them again. It may not be until my brother’s wedding next August and that just makes me immeasurably sad.

The girls started their Advent calendars, what I like to refer to as the “Christmas chocolate vitamin”, bound to fortify us through the holidays. Hmmm, maybe they should make that for adults with a little “fortification” tucked inside? Nothing gets those girls out of bed in the morning faster than the thought of chocolate before breakfast.

When unpacking the Christmas decorations, I discovered an Advent “mitten/hat” string that I found on sale last year, so I decided to write up little cards with “something Christmasy to do” each day on it. The girls each take a turn pulling out a card and we read it and then later incorporate it into our day. It seemed like a fun idea at the time, but it’s kind of turned out to be harder than I thought. Some ideas have been easy/obvious and with having a few functions coming up I’ve been able to fill in those days easily. We’ve baked cookies, done crafts, decorated the tree and gone to see Disney on Ice (a special treat with my Mum also known as “the skating Princesses”). I’ve also had the “watch a show” or “read a book” card in there. I made a list of possibilities, but it’s been hard to schedule a whole month of these as I’m not always sure of the timing. And well, being so busy, there were a few times I forgot to put cards in. Which resulted in much panic in the morning… “but MOM! There’s NO CARD! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO???!!!” Oh boy. Some days I’m scrambling to come up with something while the girls watch me expectantly… waiting for something brilliant to happen after I write it down and tuck it into the appropriate mitten or hat before their very eyes.

I’ve made no pretense that it’s anyone other than me writing on the card and we’re not pushing the “Santa” thing for this. They know it’s me and that I’ve dropped the ball a few times. I’m hoping that it will all just roll into a fun memory and maybe a tradition and they’ll just causally forget that I’m somewhat unorganized.

And we’re getting ready for a very busy week, cos hooo boy. We need one of those! (weave sarcasm thickly in there). We’ve got Baboo’s class brunch and our own holiday party tomorrow, I’m having breakfast with a friend on Sunday and finishing the baking, I’m helping a friend with a cake, we’re going to see Santa, I’m participating in Baboo’s class, we’ve got carols ‘n cookies at Mouse’s class, the school Christmas party and Josh’s folks coming next weekend. And that’s just the stuff I remember! Whew!

All in all, I feel very much like Moose in the one of our favourite Christmas stories “Moosteltoe”. “Check, check, triple check! Oh good golly, this moose was jolly! It was so simple, so easy, so….. ok, so not so perfectly perfect!”. But we’re having fun anyway.

And here is where I will pull some bloggy smoke and mirrors to cover the little I have to say and the even shorter amount of time I have to say it … So I’m going to share some links to some fun stuff….

I heard these guys on the radio earlier this week and have been mesmerized by them ever since. They’re singing is INCREDIBLE and their Christmas CanCan song cracks us all up over here. You can preview their music on their website and download their albums as well. Go and check out ‘Straight No Chaser’…

Also, this great blog has been started some of the best bloggers I’ve read. I’m looking forward to following their weight loss progress and am already feeling inspired (what? Again? Ha) to get back into the game myself. Go check out Five Full Plates.

Happy Thanksgiving... yesterday

2009-11-27T04:53:00.002-05:00

It’s 4 am on “Black Friday” and I am not awake because I’m going shopping. Gawd no. I’ll avoid that like the plague, thankyouverymuch.

No, Mouse woke up at about 1 this morning. I’d thought it was Baboo, who still wakes up most nights at least once, but it wasn’t. Poor Mouse had thrown up. After I’d gotten her cleaned up and settled back down, I stayed awake for a bit, waiting to see if this would be a one shot deal or not. I was fearing we were in for another round of rota virus, like we had the Thanksgiving before last, but it wasn’t.

But she seems fine and though I did doze a bit, I still couldn’t go back to sleep, so I got up to make a cup of bedtime tea and while I was down stairs and waiting for the water to boil, I’d wash Mouse’s sheets (they’re not any better now than they were a few hours ago) and finish this post. I’d started it yesterday, but the day got away from me and it sat unfinished, as things happen sometimes. And here I am.

So, Turkey Day. If you had to work, I’m sorry. You’d have thought that we’ve all worked hard enough to turn this damn economy around to deserve one freaking day off to be with those we love and care about. I was so sad to hear from my friends how many of their family members had to work on Thanksgiving and to see how upset they were. However, whether you were home or at work, I hope you had a pleasant and peaceful day.

It was Thanksgiving, that holiday that’s more American than America and though we’ve lived in the States for over 10 years now and fully understand the sacred significance and generalized traditions, we did not cook a turkey. (does that mean we are going to be deported?) It’s not that we don’t LIKE turkey, we do. And I think I’m getting pretty good at cooking them. But well, we just HAD turkey when we celebrated Canadian Thanksgiving with my folks and brother in October, and then I’ll be cooking another turkey when Hubsters’ folks come for Christmas next month, so to have turkey 3 months in a row, just seems like overkill to me.

Nope, no turkey; we had barbequed steak, mashed potatoes and veggies instead. However, we could not give up the homemade pumpkin pie (made with pumpkin from our Halloween pie pumpkins) with hand whipped cream. We’re not total barbarians! It was ALL delicious!

Today, maybe I’ll make turkey pot pie or something with the leftovers from our last turkey because anything “pot pied” is sublime in my eyes and mouth. And I’ll consider that using up our ‘leftovers’. Ha.

We did not watch football, or put up Christmas decorations or even visit with anyone. Wednesday night, we shampooed our family room carpets, so right now our couch and tv are crammed into our kitchen area. So while the carpets were drying, we stayed in our pajamas until 11 am. We watched cartoons and part of the Macy’s parade. We danced with the dancers and shouted out every time we saw a float we liked. Then we squealed over all the things we have no intention of buying while looking at the Black Friday fliers. I took the girls Christmas card photo and we all just kind of hung around all day. The weather was cold and rainy and nasty, but we were cozy and happy.

It wasn’t fancy, or ‘traditional’, but we were together and I’m very thankful for that.

If you’re shopping today… I hope things go well and I feel the urge to say stay safe/be careful. I certainly hope no one dies this year while trying to get a bargain. No deal is worth that. I so don’t get that frenzy.

On a separate note, yesterday was my 1 year blog-iversary. One year ago yesterday, the 26th of November, I started this blog. And though I haven’t accomplished all my goals, I’ve done a few. I’m still teaching Pilates, have jumped into the site ads and am still plugging away at it. I’m still not sure where it’s going, but it’s an outlet for me and a record that one day, I hope I’m happy to have.

Here is a link to my first post.

And here is a link to last year’s Thanksgiving post.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to change the laundry over, find a way to get the smell of vomit out of my nose and hopefully try to get some sleep. Enjoy the rest of the weekend!

Craft Crazy

2009-11-20T14:48:00.004-05:00

I don’t know what’s worse, that Mouse is crazy about crafts or that crafts make me crazy. Together, we are not such a great combination.

Lately, I’ve felt like a craft cruise director, needing to provide all manner of crafting supplies in copious quantities at any given time. Usually, she requests this at my LEAST patient time of the day.

Now, when we’re talking about “crafts” I use the term very loosely. I wouldn’t have a problem if even SOMETIMES she’d be open to a suggestion to a useful craft, (like ornaments etc) especially one that I can, ahem, move on from my house. But crafts at this house involve piling mountains of popsicle sticks, buckets of glue, covering it all in embroidery floss, shiny rocks and sparkles and googly eyes and standing back to admire the creation.

And of course with every addition, I must “ooooo and ahhhh” and personally inspect.

We’ve had 2 playdates that have had to involve ‘crafts’ this week. We’ve gone through a whole set of Christmas foamies with popsicle sticks and google eyes, 9 skeins of embroidery floss, almost 1 bottle of white glue, and an entire large bottle of sparkle glue. All globbed on flimsy construction paper.

I try to be supportive of the creative process and most of the time, I’m ok with it. I get that she needs to create. But I have to say that after a while of just watching this stuff go into the garbage, because a) where do you store this stuff and b) what can you DO with it c) how do you deal with 25 of them, a month, it's hard not to go a little crazy at the wastefulness of this excessive 'crafting'.

And all crafts must BE for someone. She can’t just make them to make them. At some point she will say “Mommy, I’m making this for….”. And most of the time, it’s me. I should be grateful, and generally I am, but today, after helping 14 kindergarteners for the last 2 days with school crafts and cooking projects, is one of those days where I just can’t watch. I will turn my back, plug my ears and pretend I do not see the "crazy crafting" happening behind me. Sigh.

It's Hippopotamus!

2009-11-17T13:39:00.000-05:00

I’ve got a gaggle of girls in my house today. This afternoon, Mouse has 2 girls from her class over for a play date. In the car on the way home from school, they were all singing a song they learned at Halloween, and Baboo though only knowing the first line, was not to be left out, so she kept repeating it. I now think I’m a mean old witch with my hat, riding on my broom with my cat… I think I’ve been brain washed.

While they were eating lunch (a child’s buffet of grilled cheese, mac ‘n cheese, O noodle soup, apples, grapes and grape juice) they kept taking “polls”. One of the girls would YELL “Raise your hand if you like RAINBOWS!” and whip her hand into the air. Of course, the other girls would wave their hands as high as possible (cos, really, who DOESN’T like rainbows??) . They’d look at each other around the table, smile knowingly then yell… It’s UNANIMOUS!! ( A new word they learned at school recently).

Then Baboo enthusiastically raise her little hand up and yell after the big girls “It’s Hippopotamus!”

Close enough. I think I might have snorted some of my very grown-up pumpkin soup trying not to laugh.

Repeat for the yellow, blue, orange, green cups, kitties, and all things sparkly. Apparently, everyone hippopotamusly, I mean, unanimously loves these things.

I guess this is table conversation when you’re 5.

Ice Puppies

2009-11-08T21:00:00.002-05:00

I PROMISE that my very delayed Halloween recap is coming. Soon.

However, let me regale you with a “frosty” tale. Behold, the wonder that is our ICE MAKER.

We have owned our fridge, a very nice, stainless steel, French door fridge WITH an ice maker (oooo, ahhhh) for 5 years. When we first bought it, we did not have the appropriate plumbing at our old house to set up the ice making capabilities, so it never was connected.

When we moved into our new house, a YEAR ago, the plumbing and tubing were available and waiting for us, but because I a) find that ice maker ice cubes get funny tasting after a while and b) wanted every inch of freezer space for FOOD not FROZEN WATER, we did not connect the already available hose to the back of the fridge.

We do have old fashioned ice trays and occasionally we used them. I tried to remember to fill them for gatherings, but I often forgot. There’s something that makes you feel like an inadequate hostess when you don’t have ICE. Someone would ask expectantly, “Oh, do you have any ice?” and I’d sadly have to shake my head with an embarrassed look on my face and say “Oh, I’m SOOO sorry. I DON’T.”Oh the shame.

The other problem we had with the trays is that despite carefully wedging them into the freezer between the peas and the chicken, balanced precariously on top of the pizza and peaches, they’d often tip over and spill before they were solid, turning everything under them into a chunk of ice. Or, though the cubes themselves wouldn’t come out of the tray no matter how hard you twisted, but 5 would just slide right out inside the freezer when you weren't looking and slip of the basket and onto the floor to melt into a puddle every time I opened the freezer drawer.

Or someone (*ahem*) would use the last cube of ice and forget to refill it and then one of the kids would get a bump that I wanted to put ice on, and GAH… no ice.

Ice, who knew it could be such a pain in the ass?

So, all in all, 9 times out of 10, you wouldn’t get ice at our house.

However, now that we have our new FREEZER (whoo!) I decided while moving some items from the fridge freezer to the upright in the garage, that we certainly could justify the space for ice. Everything was RIGHT there and we figured it wouldn’t be a big deal to hook up.

So, yesterday, we dug out and dusted off the fridge installation instructions, then tried to remember where we put the bin to hold the ice cubes (I had it in the pantry holding snacks. Hey, I use what I have), then , Hubster dragged the fridge out and wedged himself in behind to fumble around in the dimly lit area with old kinked, copper tubing and a stripped hex connector (don’t I sound FANCY knowing all these technical fridge-y terms??). Well, our “everything is there, so just connect it and have ICE” plan didn’t work so well. Not surprisingly, it leaked. And hissed angrily.

The short version is that several curses and 2 trips to the hardware store later, we’re patched up and connected with water flowing freely into our fancy-smancy ice maker.

Last night, Hubster and I waited expectantly, checking the installation instructions numerous times to see WHEN we could expect the first pieces of ice to be delivered. We kept walking by the fridge, shining the flashlight behind it to make sure it wasn’t leaking and listening with an ever-cocked ear for the clattering rumble of ice dropping into the plastic bin.

It was like waiting for a baby to be born. Or, maybe because we expected so many; endless frozen babies; puppies. Ice puppies.

A few hours later, we heard the first rattle and clunk. Across the room we smiled at each other triumphantly and then ran to the freezer, pulled open the drawer and admired our first 3 ice cubes proudly. I think I might have wiped a tear, saying “Look, Honey. Ice. WE have ICE”. Hubster smiled knowingly at me and nodded.

Though we had to throw the first batch of ice magic out, all day, the ice maker has been slaving away, popping out ice. This afternoon, Hubster and I enjoyed a COLD class of pop WITH ice. It was a warm day and it was very satisfying. Then, Baboo’s soup was too hot at lunch, but it was nothing a piece of ICE couldn’t remedy. Oh, yes, ice. We’ve got it.

So, if you come to our house now, you will be offered ICE. Maybe even for your coffee, but rest assured, there will be ice.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, the ice maker as just dropped my next ice installment, a new ice puppy has been delivered and so I think I will go and get a nice cold, ICY glass of water.

Reluctant Grief

2009-11-06T10:44:00.004-05:00

Remember this post? Let’s refer to my birth father (which sounds so awkward) as G. Well, I did find a card and I wrote a letter, included a family photo and send it. It was kind of an awkward letter, I mean, really, what do you say after 14 years of no contact? It was weird. It wasn’t like I could say “get well soon”, because well, that likely wasn’t going to happen.

“Hey, I grew up, I had a couple of kids, I’m still happily married and have a lived a whole life you know nothing about. Sorry to hear you’re dying though…”

After I put it in the mailbox and put the flag up, I kept walking by the front door looking at the mailbox, watching for the mail truck, wondering if I should change my mind, run out and get the letter and forget the whole thing. I was afraid of the can of worms I was opening. However, the letter went out, and according to some friends who were sitting with him in the hospital, receiving it cheered him. And so, I’m glad I sent it.

A few weeks ago, it did seem as though G rallied and was getting better, but within a week, he was back in intensive care, with a tracheotomy to help him breathe and feeding tubes. We learned that he had severe pneumonia that was not getting better and that his remaining leg needed to be amputated due to diabetes complications. (His first was removed a few years ago). The leg was slowly poisoning his body. But the operation couldn’t happen until the pneumonia cleared up. It was a viscous cycle.

This past weekend, my aunt who lives closest to him and is listed as his next of kin, went to see him to make some arrangements. While there, he crashed but the doctors managed to revive him. The order was given to remove life support and he died on Monday evening. I found out by email Tuesday morning.

Hubster read the email with me, saw me start to cry and asked me if I was ok, just as Mouse walked into the kitchen. I was surprised at how upset I was, but knew I had to pull it together to get through the day, so I stuffed my feelings way down for a while so I could be “MOM” and function. Though, I’m sure the kids have overheard us talking, I haven’t explicitly talked to them about G or who he is or that he died. I fumbled through the day, tired and dazed and trying not to think about it. I was functioning on about 3 hours sleep, if you call it functioning, because I had been up a lot with a sick Baboo the night before.

We made it through the day; I talked to my Mum and brother and figured things would eventually hit me, but sincerely believed I could deal with whatever would come and it would be no big deal. Insert another night with no sleep, and Wednesday was a horrible day. By witching hour, 5 pm, I was “Nasty Mom”, complete with spinning head and flaming eyes, getting ready to sell the girls to any circus that would take them. I yelled, I stomped and I nearly threw food across the room. And then Hubster talked me down, told me to just hold until he got home. I apologized to the girls, fixed them dinner and put on a movie and wished the ground would open up and swallow me. I felt like sh*t for taking this out on the girls. I knew I had to deal with this, but couldn’t seem to get a grip on time.

Insert ANOTHER night with about 3 hours sleep.

Hubster gently insisted on staying home yesterday to give me a break and that’s exactly what he did. I rested, he took care of the girls and I did a lot of thinking and a bit of grieving.

I’m not a stranger to grief. This is not the first time I’ve lost a family member. I’ve known deeper pain, one that still lingers 6 years later. In this circumstance, I wasn’t sure what to feel, and wasn’t sure what I wanted to ALLOW myself to feel.

I hadn’t had direct contact with G for almost 15 years. At my invitation and effort, after a few years of little contact during my teen years, he was a part of my life for a while, right around the time Hubster and I were married. That was 15 years ago. G and his current wife attended our wedding. Hubster and I went to visit him shortly afterwards. We wrote back and forth for a few months and then one of my letters was sent back with a “return to sender” stamp on it. He vanished. I never heard from him again. That stung for a long time. I was mad for a long time. And hurt. So hurt. Once again, as I did when I was a kid and never heard from him, I wondered what was wrong with me. Why was I not good enough to be around?

And over time, I realized it wasn’t about me. He did it to other people, other family members. I stopped being mad. I don’t hate him. I never did. I let it go.

Occasionally, I heard about G through the grapevine, like when my grandmother died about 11 years ago and when he had his first amputation about 4 years ago, but I never heard from HIM again. I remember when my Mum called to tell me about him being in the hospital and she mentioned that my aunt had said he was surprised to hear he had a grandchild (at that time I just had Mouse). Hubster and I had been married over 10 years at that point and I was over 30, and I remember thinking “He really has no concept of a normal life!” Through the same grapevine, I wished him well, but didn’t contact him. I did say he could find me if I wanted to. He never did.

On top of not hearing from G, I almost never heard from his family either, despite making efforts to stay in touch over the years. Again, I was hurt and mad, and then I let it go.

However, this past summer, I tried one more time. We were in town, my Aunt was available and we had a very nice visit. She was the first to meet and acknowledge my girls. We stayed in touch and then we got the news about G dying. And since then, my Mother, myself and my 2 aunts have been in very close contact. I’m grateful for this contact and hope that we don’t lose it. But, I’m cautiously optimistic. I know that there was a reason why we got in touch this summer and I'm glad it happened before we knew about G.

I carefully considered going to see him when I first found out he was ill, but decided not to. There were many reasons why, none of them vindictive. I also considered going to his memorial service this weekend, but the highly prohibitive cost and previous obligations got in the way. And frankly, I felt as though, if I didn’t go when he was alive, why would I go when he is dead and won’t know I’m there? Hubster suggested that I go for closure, but I think I can find closure here. I wanted to go to support my aunt who had to make all these hard decisions herself. I felt OBLIGATED to go and guilty for not wanting to. The memorial is for his few friends who knew him most recently and it’s unlikely that many people from his “past” will be there. He’s closed us all out and I feel as though, what’s done is done at this point.

I have been reluctant to start to grieve, but it came about anyway, with me kicking and screaming the whole time. While I never wished him ill and certainly, during this whole thing, I never wished him dead, I wanted to be removed. I didn’t want to care as much as I have. I wanted to believe that he was just some person who didn’t matter to me anymore. I don’t know this man and he doesn’t know me. Other than the little history we have, there isn’t much there. What was there to grieve? I wasn’t wishing for a miraculous father daughter reunion. I have a wonderful father. He’s my stepfather, but it offends me to refer to him as such. He’s a Dad in every way to me and I think of him only in that context. I wasn’t hoping that G would swoop in to be Grandpa to my girls. In fact, I kind of worried what I would do if he ever did come back around. What would I say to the girls? Would I really want him there? What if he vanished on my kids like he did to me and I had to try to explain that to them? I didn’t want my girls to have to go through that. My kids have grandparents, Grandpas, who ADORE them. My DAD is a knock out Grandpa who lives for my girls and they adore him just as much. He’s earned that right and privilege and it’s not one he takes lightly.

So, why am I so sad? I’m sad because he died, by his own choice, almost alone. He could have had people around him who loved him, but he chose to shut the door on them. All of them. I’m sad because I’ll never hear him say “I’m sorry” to me, my brother and my Mother. I’m sad not because of the “what could have beens” but because there never was. I’m sad because someone I did care about, and still do to a degree, I guess, has died. A life is over and that alone is worth grieving.

One day, I'll tell my girls about him. They'll know where I came from and what happened and who he was from my viewpoint. I hope that I'll learn from his mistakes and keep those closest me to me, close. I certainly don't want to die alone.

On The Fritz

2009-10-30T15:35:00.001-04:00

It’s such a cliché when everyone says “oh, that’ll fall apart the minute the warranty is done.”

Well, that is a lie, it’s not the next minute, its’ 3 weeks later.

This morning, Hubster came downstairs and went to heat up his Weight Watchers Breakfast Quesadilla (which are pretty good) in our lovely over-the-range microwave, but the minute he opened the door, the microwave buzzed loudly, threw a little hissy fit and displayed digital expletives in his face on the display and just refused to work.

He climbed up to see if the GFCI outlet in the cabinet over the stove needed to be reset, but that seemed to be ok. He unplugged the microwave and then plugged it back in, also to no avail.

When I came into the kitchen, Hubster was eating his COLD cereal and grumpily mumbled that the &^%$ microwave was broken (grumble, mumble, growl). I thought I’d try my hand at resetting it, but was also was buzzed and hissed at. It’s like a rabid cat right now; all snarly and hissy and dysfunctional.

Gee, hmm… maybe I’m over dramatizing this.

We’ve been in our new house just over a year, 3 weeks over a year. When we bought our house, there was a home warranty which covered a number of things, including any appliances that were included with the sale of the house, which we haven’t needed to use…. until now. And now, when it would be NICE to use it, we can’t because it expired, you know, 3 weeks ago. Of course.

I pulled out the home warranty phone number to call anyway, even though I was sure it was finished. I figured it was worth a call, and the lady was really nice and apologetic when she told me it expired. 3 weeks ago.

Sigh.

For a couple of hours, I thought we could live without a microwave, and well, we probably could, but it is sure inconvenient. (We really are a spoiled generation with our DVDs, IPODs and fancy microwaves…) For example, I poured Baboo’s milk this morning and went to heat it up so she wouldn’t get an “ice cream” headache from chugging cold milk, and well, I couldn’t. Well, that’s a lie, I COULD if I wanted to get out a pot and put the milk in and stir it for 10 mins… but I didn’t want to do that. So, *horrible* mother that I am (ha) I gave her COLD milk with 10 warnings not to chug it too fast. But well, she ended up whining she was cold 3 minutes later because she drank her milk too fast. Though she’s not one to listen to any “non-chugging” advice.

So I looked online and saw that they’re not really all that expensive to replace, about $200 for a basic model, but its’ $200 I didn’t really want to spend on a microwave. Bleh.

Hubster headed out to pick up the new microwave after work, found that almost no one actually KEEPS anything in stock and bought one that had a “slightly damaged” box. Well, when he pulled it out of the box, we found that one of the corners had a huge caved in dent on the top. So, back in the box it went.

So, tomorrow, he’ll head to another store and hopefully exchange it for an unbroken one. We hope.

So the whole point of this long winded, whiney post about our fritzed out microwave is that I’m entering in a contest that Stephanie over at Totally Together Reviews has going for a gift card, for an amount that would almost exactly cover the cost of replacing the microwave. Go and check her out – she’s got some great sites and she’s so, so pretty. (*grin*)

Lists: The Good, The Bad, The Lost, The Found

2009-10-24T08:43:00.001-04:00

I’m a list maker by nature. I ALWAYS have a list going, if not 2 or 4 or 10. Grocery lists, To Do lists, General Shopping lists, Menu lists, Christmas lists, Ideas lists. I’ve got ‘em. I love lists and love making them. The problem is, I’m not the most organized person, DESPITE all the lists and I suck at keeping track of the lists. I’m often losing lists or burying them on my desk, which despite my best efforts, I’m unable to keep tidy for more than a few days at a time.

It’s maddening to KNOW there’s another list around with something I IKNOW I’m forgetting and not being able to find it. It truly makes me crazy and I know I’ve got no one to blame except myself.

And sometimes, I do something stupid, like put a to-do list on the side of a grocery list and then throw the grocery list out when I’m done shopping BEFORE I’ve finished the To-Do list.

I have tried using One Note, a program available in Windows to keep track of things, and it worked pretty well for a few things. I was able to plan a couple of trips that way and 2 birthday parties, but for the everyday stuff, I found that I was still writing things on paper and then entering them in the computer, which kind of defeated the purpose of using the program.

Side Thought: I just had a thought to have one paper notebook dedicated to lists and only lists. Hmm, maybe that would work? I’ll put it on the list to think about. (hahaha)

The thing that kills me is grocery lists. I ALWAYS have a grocery list going, even 5 minutes after I get back from the store. I do have a small white board by my desk to write down the things that come up that I don’t want to forget. However, after a while, it gets too big and I have to write it down on paper.

I found a grocery shopping template for my word processor that I quite like. I’ve used it a few times, and I like that it’s categorized, but… again, I end up jotting things down on note paper and then transferring it to the template and then printing the template out before I shop.

Another Side Thought: I should just print the template out and keep it in the pantry or something (duh, lightbulb moment!) and fill it in there. Hmmm… I just might do that.

So, the other day, I dropped Mouse off for a playdate with some friends and Baboo and I went out to do a mega grocery shop. I planned to hit Aldi for the basics and then finish up at Walmart. I did not have my pretty template list, I had a scrawled handwritten list, with a to-do list and I also had my master, and ONLY, Christmas list in case I had time to browse.

Half way through Aldi, Baboo had to potty, so we shoved some people out of the way in the checkout aisle to get to the bathroom. I decided to go too, and then we went out to finish shopping. I wasn’t really following my list because, I knew the store so well and the items I needed there. I bought a ton of stuff and it took me a while to get it all bagged. I admit to bribing Baboo with Peanut M&Ms to keep her in one place.

Finally, we were finished. After I buckled Baboo into her seat, I reached for my lists to review what I need to get at Walmart. Hmm, not in my jacket pockets. Or my jeans. Or my purse. I looked over Baboo’s head into the trunk at the pile of bags with a kind of horror and thought “Oh good grief! How will I find it in THERE?” But I KNEW I didn’t put it in any of the bags. It must have fallen out of my purse or pocket.

I tried to remember what was on the list and immediately drew a blank. I considered just moving on and winging it, but then I remembered the Christmas list, which had some great ideas on it that I really didn’t want to forget, and decided we had to go back into the store. I gave a few more M&Ms to Baboo before going to hunt for the list (This isn’t the first time I’ve done this. Ask Hubster, I made him crazy this summer with looking for lost lists). We walked up and down the aisles to no avail, but just as we got to the check out, the only way to get out of the store, I remembered the bathroom. As a last effort, we checked it out. It’s wasn’t by the sink. Or on the floor by the toilet. Sigh. I turned around to open the door to leave and just happened to glance down at the garbage can with the lid propped open. Hey there it was - sitting right on top! I looked around the single stall bathroom, knowing that we were the only ones in there, but feeling a bit creeped out and guilty. I reasoned to myself that it WAS sitting on paper towels not on a pile of rotting garbage, RIGHT at the top and it had only been about 20 minutes since we were in there last before reaching in and grabbing it.

Baboo and I left the store, and headed down the road to finish up our shopping. I didn’t forget anything, and no, I didn’t buy one Christmas thing. If you ask me where that list is right this second, I honestly have to say, I don’t know…. for SURE. I’m guessing it’s buried on my desk under cameras, tissue boxes, coupons, more lists, calendars, chargers, receipts, art work, magazines, cds, photos, flyers and returns. But it’s around. Somewhere. Or maybe it’s still in my purse. Or my jacket pocket.

But hey! At least I can get to the white board and that’s a good thing, because despite doing groceries 2 days ago, I noticed this morning that I need more of my bedtime tea. So I guess I’d better start a new list…

A Testament to My Current State...

2009-10-23T09:08:00.004-04:00

Baboo was begging for her chock-wit milk this morning after another rough night of her coughing and me getting up with her. This is the 3rd night of crummy sleep for both of us.

I walked over to the dishwasher, got out a sip cup and lid, turned to the COFFEE POT and FILLED THE SIP CUP WITH HOT COFFEE... then walked to the pantry to get the Instant Breakfast. I had the lid off the can, spoon loaded with powder before I even NOTICED there was COFFEE and not milk in her cup.

I laughed hysterically for a minute picturing the results of Baboo on coffee, and then shuddered a bit at picturing the results of Baboo on coffee and not wanting to waste said precious coffee, poured it back into the pot and proceeded to make the REAL chock-wit milk.

It's gonna be one of THOSE days.

Chug-A-Lug

2009-10-20T20:57:00.001-04:00

Anyone who has ever met Baboo is STUNNED to see how fast she drinks a 6 oz cup of milk. She literally downs the whole thing in under 1.5 minutes with barely coming up for air. And several times a day.

I’m glad she drinks milk and really seems to love it. On the days when she doesn’t eat much, I rely on it and Instant Breakfast to assuage my Mommy food worries. Her “chock-wit meewlk” is the first thing she asks for in the morning, but we’ve learned to make her hold off until AFTER she’s eaten some food before giving it to her. Primarily because we know if she drinks all that milk she won’t actually EAT any food because well, she’s obviously not hungry any more. And secondly, because she tends to get car sick. Many times she’s chugged her milk too fast, we get in the car to go to school and she promptly throws it all up half way down the highway.

Nice picture, huh? Ew.

So, we are constantly telling her to take a break, drink slowly etc. Most of the time she sighs and says “ohhh-kay” and stops for 2 seconds and then finishes it off. (And I often make her wait to have her morning milk until AFTER we get back from dropping Mouse off at school and have a few hours before getting in the car again).

Today, however, when she started chugging her milk and we reminded her to slow down, she stopped immediately, walked over to the piano which is plainly visible to all of us from the kitchen, crawled under the bench, lay down on the floor and started chugging her milk.

I asked her “Are you hiding under the piano so you can chug your milk?” To which she replied “Yes. Yes, I is.” And that’s exactly what she did. When she was done, she climbed out from under the piano, walked over to me to give me the cup, with a little satisfied smirk on her face and went about her business.

I guess she’s just too little to lie.

Happiness Is...

2009-10-19T20:41:00.004-04:00

100 years ago when I was 5 (ok, so maybe I’m exaggerating a little… I only FEEL 100 years old, but 35 is getting close), I had a school t-shirt that said “Happiness Is…” and then my elementary school name with a picture of Snoopy doing his happy dance on the front and my name on the back in fuzzy black letters.

It’s a safety nightmare these days, but back then, I loved that shirt. Looking back at my last few posts, it looks as though I’ve been really down in the dumps. Little sleep, sickness, being overwhelmed and not taking care of oneself will do that to a gal. However, the last few days, I feel like I’ve had a lot of good things happen and I’m also trying to LOOK for the good things. I’m feeling positive and well, happy. For some reason my old t-shirt popped into my head the other day and so, I’ve had “Happiness is…” on the brain.

Happiness is….

A household that is 85% well.

A new freezer purchased with garage sale earnings and rewards from our credit card.

Having excellent neighbours/friends who spontaneously invite us over for a delicious, homey dinner, and afterwards us Mom’s hang out and chat, the kids play wonderfully together, and the Dad’s play Wii.

A good nights’ sleep with everyone sleeping in until at least 8 am the morning after the above mentioned dinner.

A cool but sunny fall day spent at a local pumpkin patch with Mouse’s class.

Finishing a photo wall in my hallway and really liking the results.

Ignoring the enormous mess I made in our bedroom while organizing and assembling the above photo wall. (lalalala… I can’t see you…)

My new travel coffee mug that is not only pretty, but was on sale and CLOSES so I won’t dump precious, hot coffee all over the car, my purse, my pants, the ground, the school etc… any more.

Having coffee IN the travel mug.

Magic Tree House books. Mouse is in LOVE with these stories and begs me to read “just *ONE MORE CHAPTER* every night. I love reading them and love that she hangs on every word.

Catching up with a good friend today and actually having room in both our schedules to be able to hang out tomorrow.

Having 2 kids that are soooo excited about “Halloween day” because they can’t wait to be “Halloweeners” (or is that Halloweiners?). And they love that we’ve decorated to make our house all Halloweeny (or is that Halloweinie?… Regardless, it still cracks me up every time).

Being a part of a school that has family Pumpkin Carving Night.

New books from the library.

Fall break at the end of this week and 2 extra mornings where we don’t have to rush out of the house.

New seasons of my favourite tv shows.

Tivo so I don’t have to watch any more mindless tv than I already do.

The new heated mattress pad I scored on a super sale with coupons and bells and whistles at Kohl's - especially now that I'm freezing my butt off.

Getting up to excercise at 0’dark thirty this morning and being glad I did all day.

Edited to add: A friend's handy hubby who came to help us out with some minor electrical issues and only charged us the cost of watching his kids so he could take his wife out one night.

Highs and Lows

2009-10-14T10:04:00.001-04:00

It’s been an interesting week of highs and lows. Nothing too extreme, but it’s all I’ve got to post right now.

High:
I’m feeling almost 100%. Zicam (and its’ Target brand knock off) kicked butt with my cold last week and I only felt truly miserable for 2 days.

Low:
Despite my best cleaning efforts, my Mum went home sick (but again, Zicam kicked some butt) and my Dad ended up getting sick shortly after arriving home.

Semi-Low:
I went to get my hair cut at a new salon last week. The girl did a good job, but it wasn’t quite what I wanted.

Super High:
I went back over the weekend and she corrected it for me. Then straightened it. And I LOVED my hair. LOVED IT. It was *wow* kind of hair. It really was. Is. I looked like a different person, actually so different that Baboo cried and said she didn’t like it. And, when I asked about the flat iron she uses, she told me it was a $15 one from Walmart. Guess what I bought? HA! No kidding.

High:
We had a great visit with my Mum, Dad and Bro. I’m so glad they came. The kids did very well and we all had fun together and doing separate things. We celebrated Canadian Thanksgiving and an early birthday for my Mum with a turkey that turned out BEAUTIFULLY and a pumpkin cake that was delicious (and even better the next day, guys, seriously).

Low:The recycling truck decided to drive by at 6:50 yesterday morning instead of the usual 10 am, and now I have an enormous mountain of recycling in my garage for another 2 weeks until the next pickup.

Low:
Baboo ended up with fevers and a cold (not strep or flu, thankfully) and has kept me up for the last 3 nights.

High:
PBS and Nick Jr saved my hide yesterday when I had both kids home and everyone was exhausted and crabby.

High:
Baboo seems to be doing much better today.

Low:
Today I have a mountain of laundry, mostly 5 bed changes from Baboo’s bed after 2 nights of throwing up.

This Functionality...

2009-10-07T21:09:00.002-04:00

Is brought to you by the miracle of medical science.

I am sick. And not happy about it. To say that I’m in a b*tchy mood is kind of an understatement. Maybe it’s that I’ve got some PMS lurking in the background, cos you know, when you’re sick with 100 million other things going on and family coming to visit at the end of the week, there’s nothing like a good ole head cold with a side order of PMS. And did I mention that I bit my front top lip LAST WEEK and it still hurts like MAD? As in every time my teeth brush up against it or I drink or eat ANYTHING, I feel like needles are being shot into my lip? No? Well now you know.

My parents just read this and are reconsidering coming. Sorry. You can still come.

This cold has just been WAITING for me in the sidelines, waiting for my defenses to be down just enough to take me out at the knees.

And honestly, I’ve been fighting it off pretty well, until several nights of little sleep and exposure to, um, an entire population of sick people, just got to me. My immunity wall fell and the cold just tramped on in.

I thought it was just allergies and then I thought that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. But then the other night I woke up around 3 am and thought my teeth were being pushed out from the inside, such was the sinus pressure. Sitting up, hurt. Lying down, hurt. I would have cried if it didn’t mean that I’d be producing more snot and more sinus pressure.

And then, the obvious smacked me in the side of the head. I could TAKE SOMETHING. Medicine. Yes, I COULD. I had forgotten.

How does someone forget this you ask? Well, you see, for almost 5 years I was nursing or pregnant. (Yes, I know, 2 kids, 3 years apart…. Do the math. I spent a LOT of time nursing, freak that I am). During that time, unless I was on antibiotics, which was rare, I took nothing more than Tylenol or Advil. Even during horrible colds, of which there were a few.

So, the other night when I realized I did not have to suffer through it, with a foggy giddiness I ran to the medicine cabinet to find the box of decongestant I bought Hubster just a few weeks ago. I popped one in, followed by a Tylenol chaser and waited for all of the mediciney goodness to kick in.

If you know me, you know that this is unusual for me. I am SO NOT a medicine person. If you don’t know me, right now, you think I’m some sort of junkie who has fallen off the wagon. I’m not, really.

I know that cold remedies do not make you heal faster. I know that. There is NEVER a good time to get sick. However, over the counter cold meds sure can help you feel a bit more human and when you’ve got 2 kids, school, meetings, etc and really not much of a chance to sit and chill for longer than 10 minutes until after 8 pm (if you’re lucky), well… sometimes you just gotta find some functionality in a box of decongestants. So thank you medical science.

I can’t say they’ve improved my mood much, but the fact that I am sitting here without falling over, is good enough for me right now. I can’t imagine the shape I’d be in right now, if I wasn’t able to get some kind of relief. I know I’ll get a chance to rest soon, and that will help me to truly heal. Though really, as of tonight, so FAR (knock on wood ) I’m feeling a bit better.

As for the kids… I’m sorry I’m in grouchy grizzly bear mode. Really, I am. However, if you’d like to HELP Mommy feel better… please stop WHINING. Constantly, and asking WHY. Constantly. This will vastly help Mommy be nicer.

And Mom and Dad (and Bro), we’re looking forward to seeing you tomorrow. We’re all set. And I promise that I won’t meet you at the door with a growl. And the whole house has been Clorox-d. And I’ve taken a shower in Purell.

P.S. I kind of left you hanging with the whole “Father” bomb. Sorry. Things got crazy busy and I haven’t been able to post. The current update is that he is doing better, apparently off the ventilator and talking. But that’s all I know. And as a further aside, I do not wish him any ill will – and certainly don’t wish him dead. I’m just a bit surprised, more than anything. It’s kind of a weird situation. More at another point, I’m sure.

When You Care Enough...

2009-09-30T20:09:00.002-04:00

To send the best sentiment you can manage when life throws you a very bizarre curve ball.

I didn’t know it was possible, but you really can find a card to send to someone who is…

Sick… (no brainer)
And in the hospital… (hmm, ok, doable).
And likely terminally ill… (a little tougher… “so I hear you’re dying…”)
And whom you haven’t heard a word from in 14 years… (um, well, that’s a bit strange)
And is your “birth” father. (*whump* there’s the curve ball, right to the head).

Yeah, life’s kinda funny like that sometimes. Oy. (hence, the processing…) I can't say this was a card I ever though I'd be shopping for, but there you go.

Rainbows

2009-09-26T20:01:00.000-04:00

I have so much to say and not really a lot of time to process things enough to be able to articulate things well enough. Soon, I hope.

However, quickly…. Tonight, as I was tucking Baboo into bed, we were chatting for quite a while. She talked about the book we read tonight, the girl at gymnastics the other day who hit her and playing outside tonight.

I raised my eyebrows at something she said and her face lit up! She said “Mama! You have RAINBOWS on your face!”

At my confused expression, she said “When your eyebrows go up, you have rainbows on your head. Wow! ” and then she traced her finger on the wrinkles that appear on my forehead when I frown or lift my eyebrows.

So, I guess there *IS* a way to view your wrinkles positively. Frankly, I could use a few rainbows over my head right now, and here I had them all along. Go figure.

Why

2009-09-21T08:30:00.002-04:00

“Why” is a word I hear often these days, a little too often for my personal taste, to be honest.
Baboo is going through the “why” phase, that time in a toddler's existence when the answer to each and every request, statement, fart is “why”. For example:

It's time for dinner.
Why?
Because we all need to eat.
Why?
So you can grow up bigger.
Why?
Burp.
Why?
Sniff
Why?

You get the picture.

Sometimes I do actually try to answer some of the “why” questions, to show that I do take her seriously when she asks questions, but after about 22, my head explodes and I say “Well, why do you think…?”. Generally, that ends the endless, mindless series of “why”.

However, the one that gets me every time is the “why are we stopping” when we’re in the car and have to stop at stop signs and red lights. We’re spending a lot more time in the car now with Mouse in school. There are about 10 stop lights/signs between our house and the school and on a GOOD day we’ll only get ½ of them, more likely than not though, we’re getting almost all of them. And we drive that route 4 times a day, 5 days a week. EVERY SINGLE TIME we stop, Baboo asks WHY we are stopping. And for a while I would explain that we have to stop because it’s the other driver’s turn to go (why) and if we all drove at the same time from different directions, we would end up in an accident (why), and that we could get hurt (why) and that would make us sad (why)... yada, yada, yada.

This went on for several weeks. However, now, when she asks WHY we are stopping, I try not to snarl, “Baboo, why do YOU think we are STOPPING?” and she happily pipes up “Because it’s not our turn, Mama! And Mama, you need to WAIT your turn. Even grownups have to wait. There’s lots of red lights. I LIKE red.” And I grimace smile and nod in the rearview mirror and agree with her. And repeat, repeat, repeat.

The last few days, though, she stopped asking so often and I thought we had this licked, I really did. I was almost hoping that it was going to end, but … the other day, when the light turned green and she asked “Why are we GOING?”

Why, indeed.

Swimming Butterflies

2009-09-14T20:58:00.000-04:00

It’s been HOT here, as in 85 F today. We had sweaters and jeans on this morning on our way out the door to school and were stripping down to bathing suits to stew in the kiddie pool in the backyard by noon.

The girls decided to have a “beach party” in the back yard after lunch, so we filled the pool, opened the sandbox and set up the beach umbrellas and laid towels on the lawn. We invited our neighbors over to enjoy the fun.

At one point, Mouse came running to me yelling “Mom! I RESCUED a butterfly from the POOL!”. As soon as I saw her tightly closed, dripping fist, I knew it wasn’t so much a rescue as a recovery. She opened her fingers to show me a little gray moth, sopping wet and not moving. She tried to get it to fly away, but well, it wasn’t really going anywhere. She flicked her hand and kind of plopped on the deck. My neighbor and I watched it, wondering what to say. Mouse said “It’ll dry out and then be ok” and since we didn’t really want to get into a indepth “death” conversation over a moth in 85F weather, we agreed that that just *might* be a possibility, as she skipped back to the pool.

Baboo wandered over to hover over the moth for a while. She noted that it was not moving. My friend, trying to smooth things over said “Well, butterflies aren’t very good swimmers. They should probably stay out of the pool.”

Baboo stood up like she had the answer from the universe, put her hands on her little bathing suit clad hips and said “She just needs to get her BATHING suit on and THEN she’ll be able to swim. Silly butterfly trying to swim without a bathing suit on!” and then proceeded to show us how a butterfly would flap her wings and swim at the same time.

Feeling very proud of herself, she also skipped off to join the other girls at the pool.

My neighbor looked at me with wide eyes and asked if Baboo really said that and then proceeded to keel over laughing.

It All Adds Up To a Hill of Beans

2009-09-13T21:47:00.003-04:00

No, really, it does. A hill of beans and a mountain of apples.

And you’re wondering what the HECK I’m talking about. I know you are. It’s ok, it’ll all become clear in a moment. Clear as mud.

Yesterday, we rounded up the neighbours (or rather, they rounded us up) and we headed out to a local apple orchard for their “kick off fall” festival. We met early, grabbed a wagon with 2 bushel baskets and headed down the rows to pick sweet galas, tender cortlands and tangy jonathans. It was sunny and pretty and warm. Not overly “fall like”, but still lovely regardless. We picked a peck of pretty apples. (haha) And tasted a few as well.

The kids did really well selecting some of the nicest apples, and of course loved being lifted to reach the highest branches. At one point, I lifted Mouse up to reach a particularly pretty red jonathan, and we came eye-to-eye with a “golden ticket” for a free caramel apple. Jackpot!

Of course, then the hunt was on to find enough for all the kids. We found enough and more to share, which was a super bonus. After we almost filled 1.5 bushels of apples, we moved on to play in the haystacks and corn maze. The girls rode the toy tractor and swung on the swings, surrounded by apple trees, farm houses and corn fields. It was idyllic.

We learned that the orchard offered u-pick green beans, and since us Lefty girls love us some green beans, (Hubster despises them with a passion), we loaded up with a ½ bushel basket and headed down the dirt road to where there is a pond surrounded by cattails and a tree. Seriously, those were the directions. The girl who was directing me told me it was about ½ a mile walk. She suggested we drive with the kids because it was so far away. And then she asked me if I knew what cattails looked like. And what green beans looked like. Oy.

Despite thinking it might be a bit of a distance, it was a lovely day and we decided to walk. We had 4 adults, a 5 year old, 4 year old and 2 year old. We were expecting a bit of a trek, and already had Baboo on our shoulders in anticipation of the ½ mile walk, when we rounded a corner, oh, 100 meters from the store. In the distance, about ½ mile away, we saw a green house and figured that the green bean field would be there. But then Hubster stops and says “Hey, cattails and a pond!” We looked to our left and there they were, with a tree and a hand painted sign pointing to “Green Beans” just past the pond. It took us all of 3 minutes to get there. Certainly way less than ½ a mile. We all laughed in relief as we realized that a) we didn’t have to walk any further in the hot sun and b) we did NOT go through the hassle of trudging back to the car, putting kids in and out of car seats and crossing traffic to go 100 meters.

The beans were plentiful and delicious. I felt like I could have taken more home, but didn’t. But now I’m wondering if I should have. Was 5 lbs REALLY enough?? It only cost $4. Seriously. We came home with an enormous bag of perfect green beans. I think we ate a pound of them in the field too.

After that, we had lunch at the orchard. How we had room after apples and green beans, I have no idea. But the brats were yummy and had had been cooked in fresh apple cider before being grilled. Then we had desert by tasting the contest apple pies, while sitting under the shade of an enormous oak tree in front of a pretty little farm house.

I know, it sounds like some weird country-bumpkin fantasy world, but it’s all true.

On the way out, we stopped and traded in our tickets for our fresh caramel apples. They were pretty tasty. And sticky.

We came home dusty, dirty, hot (it was over 80F), sneezy (from the hay), sticky and a bit sun-kissed, but satisfied with a beautiful and fun day spent with family and friends.

Today, the girls and I washed, sorted, chopped, blanched and steamed a bunch of beans for freezing. Then we sorted out our apples and made a pie that turned out pretty well. I felt like homesteader Suzy homemaker with all my homey “puttin’ up”. We had fresh steamed beans with our BBQ chicken and baked potatoes tonight. Divine. The girls and I vowed to put in beans in our little garden next summer. Maybe not a whole field worth, but definitely some.

I know that later this winter, when it’s cold and nasty, we can pull out some of these delicious beans just waiting to be devoured in our freezer, to have with our dinner and remember the fun day we had picking them.

The First Days of School - The Recap

2009-09-10T20:26:00.001-04:00

It’s been an interesting transition to full time school for us this week. I’ve really not had much of a chance in my day or head for putting together any kind of literate post, and I can’t make any guarantees for this one either. However, considering that the girls have gone to bed early, the plants are watered and things are generally picked up, I seem to have a few minutes to be able to sit down and write.

Both girls’ first day was great. Mouse, as expected, happily trotted into her classroom, signed her name on the white board and ran off to find her friends with barely a backward glance to say goodbye to me.

Baboo, was apprehensive in the hallway while waiting for her teacher to open the door; daunted by all the parents and new kids, but once the classroom door opened, she was the first one in and I had to go and interrupt her cooking up an imaginary feast in the play kitchen to give her a hug and a kiss goodbye.

One of the nice things about our school is that we host a “breakfast” every day during the first week of school. The board (which I am a part of), supplies the coffee/food and it’s a good place to hang out close by if your child needs you or if YOU need to see your child and it’s also a great way to mingle with the other families in our cooperative. We’re not above spying on other people’s children by peeking through windows etc to report back on transitory progress. Overall, most of the kids have done very, very well. So despite having many new families this year, not many have stayed to mingle, and so, our breakfasts, have been attended mostly by veteran members happy to have some grown-up conversation. Yes, yes, I admit that have been there every day. (But it’s my BOARD DUTY to stay for, at least, PART of the time. Right?)

In the post first day chatter on the way home from school, Baboo reported that she did NOT play in the sand table (even though I saw her there), made a placemat with all Nemo stickers, but no Dory’s, had “no hax-sidents” and loved going potty on a real toilet and washing her hands all by herself in the child sized bathroom. She proclaimed that the best part of school was the slides, and went on to mention that she now “owns” all the slides. I’m grateful to know that I did spy on her a bit when she played outside and she did indeed share “her” slides well.

Mouse was thrilled to be with her friends again this year. Of the 14 in her class, 12 moved on from her class last year and there’s a perfect 50/50 mix of girls and boys. She’s loved wearing certain colors every day as a color review, is so excited to be journaling daily and writing “REAL WORDS, MOM!” (as opposed to the “fake” words I’ve been helping her write for the last 2 years) and is just eating up the routine. She did ask how far away the weekend was this morning as she was getting dressed, in a very tired kind of voice. When I told her it was only 2 school days away, counting today, she gave me the resigned “I can make it through 2 more classes” sigh. I think the getting up EVERY day and having to be out the door at the SAME time EVERY day is wearing her down a bit. But it’s good for all of us.

On top of that, this week we’ve had impromptu play dates in the afternoon to burn off the excess school excitement, a piano lesson, and a 1.5 hour session of heavy gymnastics. To say that my girls are wiped is a bit of an understatement. Bedtime is 7 pm these days, ½ an hour earlier than normal and no one is complaining about it. Heck, I’m wiped and I’m just the chaperone/chauffeur/cook/planner/time keeper/house keeper/maid… uh, never mind. I’m busy too, but in a different way.

But, despite it all, I’m thrilled to be back at a place that was our welcome wagon last year, to meet up the friends that *I* made and to witness my girls comfort and happiness in a truly nurturing place. The routine feels like it’s going to work and though we’re still working on hitting our stride, we’re all in the right groove.

And like the “omen” that announces that THIS is where we are supposed to be in our life; when I walk into my kitchen I see mounted on the art wall, Mouse’s name traced in glue on purple construction and outlined with beans. It’s a kindergarten classic and you just can’t beat that.

Stuff...

2009-09-07T09:27:00.000-04:00

The good news is that I didn’t get sick, at least not yet and hoping it doesn’t happen. Hubster is much better and so are the girls. So, all that said, what the heck have I been SOOO busy doing for almost a week that I couldn’t bother to post. Well, the answer is … stuff. Almost literally.

Hubster was home all last week because he was so sick. He tried to go to work and they sent him home. Yeah, pretty bad.

I had 3 school meetings, took the girls to the zoo, piano lesson and gymnastics and then in between all that I’ve been bustin’ on my house.

I cleaned out both girls rooms, big time. Then my neighbor offered me her toddler bed and bedding, so I took down Baboo’s crib (she cried, even though she loves her big girl bed) and rearranged her room. I found a cute valance that works really well.

Then I took on the playroom. Oh my. THAT was an adventure. Nasty.

Then I finished cleaning up my desk space. Again. Oh my.

Friday, I broke down and went to get some clothes for fall so I don’t freeze in December in the 2 pairs of capris that fit me right now (see rant about that here). I cleaned up at Goodwill then hit Kohls with Kohls cash, a gift card and power hour sales. Yay me.

Saturday, Hubster and I cleaned out the garage. That meant taking EVERYTHING out, spreading it all over the lawn and driveway, turning away 100 people who wanted to buy everything we owned, insulating a wall at the last minute (of course, AFTER I ran to Lowes to buy insulation we found several rolls of it in our garage attic left by the previous owners. Gah! And thanks!), sorting everything out and then, well, putting it all back in. We’re having a garage sale with our neighbours in 3 weeks, so all the junk we decided to get rid of … is back in the garage. So, we spent an entire day sweating away and it looks like we did nothing at all.
So, I’m making some progress on the house, which is good. It needed a good clean out and to have a garage sale soon, is also a relief. I’ve got a few little details to finish up and 2 rooms to do and I will have tackled every room in the house. Yay me. Whew.

And yesterday, just for kicks, we decided to have a kind of impromptu barbeque with some friends and neighbours. We actually had a really nice time and though the weather was crummy allll day, by the BBQ, it was sunny and warm. The kids played nicely together and once again, Hubster and I marveled and how fortunate and grateful we are to have made such good friends less than a year after moving into our house.

Tomorrow is the first day of school for both of my girls. I’m excited and nervous for them, as they are for themselves. We are definitely ready. It’ll be a while before the girls being in school will actually be a BREAK for me, but that’s ok. Right now, it’s more about getting them settled and I’m ok with that.

So yeah, that’s what I’ve crammed into this past week. It’s been a busy but productive one.

The Universe Conspires

2009-09-02T20:40:00.001-04:00

So, it’s T minus 5 days until the first day of school. The girls are just getting over a mild cold. Both had low fevers, runny noses and are still working on coughs. But overall, they’re much better.

Hubster has been sick for a few days with a fever, head cold and now bronchitis. He’s on heavy antibiotics and cough syrup and lots of rest.

Baboo has had 3 bad nights in a row, leaving me with just a few hours of passable sleep (not night terrors, but night ANGER. Yikes.) And of course, this has been one of the busiest weeks we’ve had in a while. No rest for the very weary, especially one whose backup (Hubster) is out of commission.

How can I not feel like my little world here is conspiring against me and trying to take me out at the knees? I CAN. NOT. Get sick. I just can’t. Not that there is ever a good time, but especially right NOW, I can’t go there. However, being surrounded by nasty cold germs 24/7, driven into the ground with school coming up and all that being a co-op parent on the board entails (meetings and so forth) all with very little sleep makes me wonder how on earth I’ll make it.

Though I’m trying to think positively and just WILL myself to stay healthy, I hope that I’ve got SUPER Zicam in my back pocket.

In the Sewer

2009-08-28T16:25:00.001-04:00

Mouse, is a beautiful, intelligent and funny little girl, however, she also has a potty mouth that is making me C*R*A*Z*E*E right now. As in, “grounded-forever-if-you-don’t-cease-and-desist-immediately” kind of crazy. This has been going on for a number of months, but lately has been getting increasingly worse.

We’ve all been in a kind of limbo while waiting for school to start, 3 weeks after the rest of the district has started. It’s hard. We’re all kind of “done” with summer and ready to move on. Today, after teaching my Pilates class, the girls and I were feeling flat and bored. I thought it would be fun for us to go to the movie store and rent a movie, which is something we haven’t done in a while. We also planned to stop at Kohl’s on the way home.

So the girls each got to pick out a movie and though we’re not planning to be very long in Kohls, Mouse is cranking Baboo up by yelling potty talk (as in everything is prefaced with boogers, poop, poopy, pee etc at the top of her lungs) and howling hysterically at her witty word wonders 2 seconds after we walk through the door.

I state firmly that she needs to stop IMMEDIATELY, but like some form of 5 year old potty talk Turret’s syndrome, she CANNOT stop. And so it continues. It gets louder and more obnoxious. After several more warnings to stop, I threaten to rescind all movie privileges for tonight, figuring THAT would be enough to get her to stop. Well, it happened again; several times, in fact. And though I didn’t want to, I’m following through. I mean business. No movies tonight.

When I make the proclamation of my disciplinary action, which should not be a surprise by this point, I get a face full of sass-mouth, along the lines of “you can’t make me” kind of thing. And then Baboo took a DVD out of the box and started scraping it on the table. (Insert twig snapping in brain here).

So now, both girls are in their rooms. I’m bummed that our day came down to this.

I wish I could say that the potty talk is isolated, that today was just bad because we’re bored/tired/etc. I could handle it if it was just a “phase” and was one of those things she’s “testing out”. It’s not. It’s almost constant, to the point where you cannot carry on a conversation with this child without her sinking to ridiculous potty babble. It’s during play, in the car, at the table, at a restaurant, in a store, at bedtime (good grief! It escalates when she’s tired, if that’s possible), with friends, with other adults. All at top volume and followed by gales of giggles, naturally. And of course, Baboo reacts and mimics it all, egging Mouse on.

I understand that she likes the power that comes with making people laugh and that most kids go through this kind of thing, but seriously, it has gone too far. To be honest though, I’m not sure what to do about it. I think we’re past the point of being able to ignore it. While it used to be that back in the day, you got your mouth washed out with soap, I don’t know if I really want to do that. I’m going to have to brainstorm up some consequences to get the message through that this is not ok. I don’t expect or want her to be a “delicate, polite, sugar-and-spice, little princess”, but I do think that she needs to understand that this is not appropriate at the level she’s been carrying on.

So cover your ears against the potty talk and share your tips. Help me! Please!

More Words of Widsom from Baboo

2009-08-27T18:14:00.000-04:00

Last night, shortly after I put Baboo to bed, I heard her in the bathroom upstairs. Suspecting she needed some help with the potty, I went upstairs to check on her. She had taken her pajama bottoms and pull up off and was sitting on the potty in the bathroom.

Baboo: Mommy. I just goin’ potty.
Me: Ok. Do you need some help?
Baboo: (grunting). Noooo.
Me: Do you need to go poop?
Baboo: I think so. (grunting and pushing).
Me: Well, you did go poop earlier today. Is there more?
Baboo: I think so. I need more power! (pushing harder)
Me: What?!
Baboo: Mommy, put me on the toilet so I can have more power!
Me: (putting her on the toilet). Ooook.
Baboo: Mommy! Where’s my power?
Me (power? Power?)… Uh… Oh, like when you farted earlier on the toilet and the poop came out?
Baboo: YEAH! That! Where my POWER?!
Me: Um, well… maybe you used it all up earlier.
Baboo: Sigh. Ok. I guess I get more power tomorrow.
Me: Thanks for the warning.

(if you hear a loud explosion over our house tomorrow, you know it’s just Baboo and she’s found her “power”).

We were driving in the car on the way to gymnastics today and discussing going to the doctor and who needs to go for check-ups.

Mouse: Mommy, YOU have to go to the doctor for a checkup. Just like ME.
Baboo: Yeah! I need a hiccup too!
Mouse: You don’t have the hiccups!
Baboo: Yes, I need hiccups too. And Daddy goes to the doctor to get hiccups too! We ALL need to get hiccups.
Me: (trying to drive while laughing…)
Mouse: Baaaabooo! Not HICCUPS, CHECK-UPS!
Baboo: That’s what I SAID… hiccups.

My Inspriational Slap in the Face

2009-08-26T21:22:00.001-04:00

While waiting for Mouse during her piano lesson today, I saw this (see below) on a plaque in the instructor’s living room.

Considering I was having more than an off day, I figured it was a very good inspirational slap in the face. I jotted it down in the notes section in the back of my planner calendar. I have no idea who wrote it, but I like it anyway.

This is the beginning of a new day.
God has given me this day to use as I will.
I can waste it or grow in its’ light and be of service to others.
But what I do with this day is important because I have exchanged a day of my life for it.
When tomorrow comes, today will be gone forever.
I hope I will not regret the price I paid for it.

I wish I could say I made the most of my day, today. I did not. But, tomorrow is the beginning of a new day and I hope it use it wisely.

Rules of Engagement

2009-08-23T09:01:00.003-04:00

I was hanging out with a friend recently and we were talking about our kids, as we usually do. I forget what exactly we were talking about but she said something that struck me to the core. She said “Sometimes I do things with the kids, like outings, where I can just be a supervisor but not have to engage with them”.

I instantly realized that I have done this a lot this summer, particularly with Mouse. That “guilty baaaad mother” sinking feeling started snaking its’ way into my heart. I felt kind of sick when I realized this.

The truth is; I have a hard time relating to Mouse sometimes. We can often be at opposite spectrums and can’t seem to find a middle ground. When I’m trying to engage, she’s not receptive at all. Or, she’s seems to really need me when I’m crabby, busy etc.

Lately, she’s been kind of over the top obnoxious, in that silly, crazy potty-talking kid kind of way. I can see that this is a multifaceted issue. I know that this is a phase that most kids go through, but a part of it, is because she’s trying to deal with all the changes that are coming up. She’s excited about kindergarten, but it’s a bit of an unknown and that stresses her out a bit and this is how it manifests. Another part is that she’s acting out to get our/my attention. She’s screaming LOOK AT ME! And generally we do, to tell her to settle down etc. And I always feel really bad after that. It’s a classic example of the “negative attention cycle”.

Another facet is that she rarely gets Mommy to herself. There’s been a lot of competition for Mommy this summer, with us being so insanely busy lately, she just doesn’t get one on one time with me. It’s doesn’t help that Baboo wants to do everything she does, and is hard to be distracted with other things. And though I do protect Mouse’s right to do big 5 year old girl things by herself, if I’m the only one here, I do have to keep an eye on Baboo too. She doesn't get my undivided attention. I know that’s hard.

And just adds to my guilt.

The thing is, she’s rarely “bad”, annoying yes, bad, rarely. She doesn’t really get into things she’s not supposed to. She generally listens when we talk to her or ask her to do something. She can be kind of mean to her sister, but not in an overly aggressive way. They’re 5 and 2, and I expect this.

She’s smart and charming and funny and so beautiful she takes my breath away. She wants to BE WITH ME. Constantly. She needs to be reassured, complimented, noticed and encouraged. A lot. And considering I’m a person who likes a little bit of personal space, physical and mental, sometimes I find that overwhelming.

Huh. I just realized that about myself.

Communication is a big thing, or rather our method of communication. I’m often in “Mom-mode” directing, correcting, explaining, praising, requesting etc. While we do talk, we don’t often get a chance to “converse”. She can be hard to actually talk to and I admit that I do tune a lot of stuff out. She often talks “at me” but not “to” me and like a kid, there’s a lot of whining and tattling, and there’s a lot of silly talk and repetition because she really like the power that comes with making people laugh, and so she’ll keep doing or saying something (often with potty talk, everything’s funnier with “poopy” attached to it) and cracking herself up. There’s only so much of that kind of thing that my brain can take before it shuts down.

And I also know that a part of our communication issues is that Mouse is copying the babyish way that Baboo communicates to get attention because she does see that, to a degree, it works for Baboo. However, although I *know* this is what she’s doing, I tend to withdraw a bit further to not respond to that kind of communication at all.

Anyway, I guess I have a hard time relating to her and finding a place where we can both meet up and connect in a way that works. This makes me feeling like I’m failing her in a big way. I want her to feel that she’s getting what she needs, but I think I deserve not to be constantly railroaded.

Guilt, guilt, guilt.

The thing is, I know she’s not getting any younger and neither am I. While I don’t feel like we’re so off track that we can’t get back on, I know that our tracks aren’t meeting up in a useful way right now. I want us to have a solid communication foundation in place before we get into the preteen years. I want her to KNOW that I’m always here for her. I want her to: feel confident, important, respected and be respectful, heard and understood. I need to try harder and I’ve already started. I’m going to plan a Mouse-parent only outing once or twice a month. She loves doing special things with just one of us, but Hubster has been the one doing the fun stuff lately, not me. So next weekend she and I are going to a movie and then out to lunch. She’s excited that it’s just going to be her and I, and I’m happy that she’s looking forward to it. I am too.

This summer has been interesting. We’ve had a lot going on and we’re all moving to the next “level”. Baboo is most definitely NOT a baby anymore, Hubster and I are trying to get to the next level in our marriage, I’m trying to define my place in this world and Mouse is moving from little kid to big kid at a very fast pace. This year seems so important and I feel as though I have a lot of work to do still. The step from kindergarten to grade 1 seems so big. I know, I’ll have to let go of her a lot more. I want her to be ready. I want to be ready. I’m scared and nervous, excited and holding my breath.

A Visit With The Teacher

2009-08-21T19:09:00.000-04:00

Baboo will be starting preschool 2 mornings a week this September. We have been super fortunate to have found a fantastic cooperative school that we all love. Last year was Mouse’s first year in school and it was an awesome experience. Baboo witnessed her having a great time and is ready at 2 for an introduction to school in a way that Mouse was not at this age.

But I digress. So, our school’s teachers visit each child at their home before school starts. Today, was Baboo’s home visit. She has met the teacher many times in the past at the school and has spent time in what will be her classroom. Baboo is very comfortable with the thought of going to school.

Of course the teacher arrived as the girls were playing “salon” with me. I had about ½ a bottle of detangler sprayed in one spot on my head and about 50 little barrettes and clips on one side of my head. Attractive, I know.

Bing-bong (doorbell). (perfect timing, of course)

***

Baboo: AAHHHH! My teacher is here! Yay! Yay! (excited yelling and running around in circles as Mouse opens the door and I frantically try to remove hair doo-dads)

Teacher: Hello Baboo. It’s good to see you again. You’re the first child I’ve seen today who is happy to see me and hasn’t burst into tears when I walk through the door.

Baboo: Meow! Meow! (getting on all fours and hopping around and assuming the “happy kitty” routine)

Teacher: Uh, ok. Are you being a kitty?

Baboo: Meow! (lick)

Me: (still removing hair stuff). Hi! Please come on in. We were, um, playing salon and I, haha, need to remove some barrettes.

Teacher: Oh yes. (silence). Girls, you did a nice *ahem* job on Mommy’s hair. How about we go and see what’s in my bag?

***

So, we all go into our family room, play with puzzles, read a book about school, the girls yell over each other at the teacher because Mouse is NOT going to be left out. Teacher fortunately is used to this and handles it all beautifully, which is why I love this teacher. Not much fazes her. Baboo, meows at her constantly and brings her things in her mouth – blankets, pillows, toys.

After about 20 minutes, it’s time for her to go to the next child’s home.

***
Teacher: Goodbye Baboo. I’ll see you in a few weeks at the class playdate.

Baboo: Meow! Meow!

Me: Well thanks for coming. We’ll see you soon. Oh, and Baboo does speak English and doesn’t just meow.

Baboo: MEOW!

Teacher: I know. I’ve heard her speak before. (pats Baboo on the head)

Me: uh….

Teacher: Haha. I know. Ok, we’ll see you soon.

Baboo: Meow! Byebye Mrs. Mommy!

Me: uh….

***

It’s soo nice to make a good, intelligent impression on your child’s educator, don’t you think? Maybe, it’ll be better luck next time for me, when we meet with Mouse’s teacher next week. I hope. (note to self, do not play “salon” before the teacher arrives.)

Ch-ch-changes

2009-08-20T21:04:00.001-04:00

Ch-ch-changes…
Well, you might have noticed some changes around the ole blog. Change is good. I’ve moved a few things around and have added a few things as well. Hope you like them.

I must thank the folks over at blogcatalog for their awesome tutorial on how to add a third column to my blogger template. They rock. So, thank you blogcatalog. They have lots of other great tutorials as well, so go check them out. I didn’t end up with a sprained brain or ANYTHING. In fact, some of my rusty computer skilz came back and I was able to figure out a little glitch I was having all by myself! That’s saying something after all this time, let me tell you.

And now, it’s late (I didn’t say it didn’t take me a long time to get it done, I just said I didn’t HURT anything) and I still have a workout to do before bed. Oy.

Hey! Check This Out!

2009-08-18T20:54:00.002-04:00

My Mum started a blog! Go check her out. Right now. Go! What are you waiting for!?

Sixty Seriously?

It's 6:45 pm

2009-08-18T19:31:00.000-04:00

Do I know where my kids are?

Yup, I sure do. They’re in BED.

It’s been a long day. The girls were completely obnoxious at dinner, that overtired-can’t-control-myself kind of obnoxious that involved endless giggling and annoying potty talk. I ended up taking away their dinner (they’d eaten ½ and had eaten lots of snacks today, and lest you think me completely heartless, they each got a generous cup of milk before bed) because food was starting to fly.

And then we did a quick book and right to bed. They are both out cold.

And heaven forbid, with Hubster golfing with a pal tonight that I could actually plunk my butt down and do nothing. Nope. I’ve got dishes, a work out and a disaster of a craft closet I’ve been avoiding waiting for me. I’m not going to procrastinate on it any more. It’s going to get done. Like the kitchen I did yesterday, and the front hall closet. Yay me. (bleh).

I’m getting there.

A Post of Randomness, Rather Like My Random Life

2009-08-17T12:22:00.003-04:00

So, despite my efforts, however random or meager, I’m still drowning in piles of crap all over the house. I feel like I’ve been TRYING to get it freaking together already for weeks and am failing miserably. I think I need to ship the kids out of the house to actually MAKE any real progress, but since that’s not an option, I continue to just dink around.

So here is a pile of random “stuff”, somewhat bullet pointed for your viewing pleasure (and in no particular order because, hey! Random!):

· I’m sitting outside even though it’s kind of hot and humid out. I’ve just spent the last 30 minutes digging up thistle weeds that slice your feet open from the “lawn” (term used loosely as it’s mostly crab-grass and clover and other miscellaneous non-grass plants). Nasty. The girls helped me “find” the weeds by screeching at the top of their lungs, “MOM! A WEED! HURRY! QUICK!”. I’m sure the neighbours thought that we were growing child-eating Venus fly traps.

· Birdseed seemed like a good idea until it attracted mice, which took the seeds directly into our garage and made a mess in there. And then we grew some corn in the grass when the birds (and children filling the birdfeeder) dropped the corn kernels from the birdseed mix.

· While nose-to-grass, I noticed that we have about 70 billion tiny little grasshoppers all over the lawn. It’s kind of creeping me out.

· In the last 5 minutes, my girls have proven that they really do have the attention span of a gnat. They started out blowing bubbles, then played “kitty” in the grass, then got out the butterfly nets, and now Mouse is pushing Baboo on the “wocket” swing. (aka Rocket Swing). And that also has only lasted 3.5 seconds as now Mouse wants me to get her started on the swing.

· As I’m sitting here on the deck, barely able to see the screen from the glare of the clouded over sun, I realize how dirty my monitor is. Nasty.

· There is a lot of work going on at my neighbours’ houses today. Someone is getting some trim replaced which reminds me that we need to figure out when/how to get ours done. Another is getting a new furnace.

· I really HATE where the clothesline (which I love) is. It needs to be moved.

· I wonder if I can find a composter and a water barrel here?

· The girls are now playing with a plastic golf ball and a badminton racket.

· I’m wearing a pedometer today, for the first time. So far, though it’s only 9:55 am, it says I have done 7019 steps. I did walk this morning, but I think that’s inaccurate.

· I’m attempting to wash my king sized comforter in my washing machine. I have no idea if it’s going to kill my washer or not.

· Mouse and Baboo are already fighting with the racket and golf ball.

· We went and got a family photo taken this weekend. Despite the fact that I think my hair looked a bit weird (which also reminds me I need to decide if I want to get it cut or not. Hmmm), I love how the photo turned out.

· We also went to our local state fair this weekend with our friends/neighbours. Despite it being 95 F and Baboo throwing up in the car on the way home, we had a really fun time. This was our first trip to any state fair. The baby pygmie goats were the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. It makes me want to have goats. And chickens. And make jam.

· My 2 little tomato plants, after giving me a delicious bounty of tomatoes, is laden with MORE tomatoes. My mouth is watering just waiting for them to ripen.

· I think I see a bit of cilantro growing from the seeds of the old cilantro that bolted already. Now I’m thinking about how good homemade salsa would taste.

· I really hope it rains today, mostly because I really don’t feel like going to the pool. I know I should be grateful to have a pool that’s a 5 minute walk away and can basically be seen from my house, and I am very grateful for that. However, we’ve been every day for the last 3 weeks. I’m kind of pooled out. The girls are not.

· Golf ball badminton is done and now the girls want to water paint and do more bubbles. It’s been 10 minutes since they started playing on their own.

· Becprints sent me this site and I have found now found my organizational mecca… www.organize-more-stress-less.com/index.html. I have high hopes for this site.

· My purple petunias in planter boxes around the deck, despite my Dad replanting them a few weeks ago are still struggling. The look awful. I think I may try to do marigolds in the boxes next year. They seemed to do well in the garden so maybe they’ll do better in the boxes than the petunias did.

· The girls are now dipping their paintbrushes in the bubbles and painting the deck and playhouse.

· I think I need more coffee.

· I’m already worrying about what to wear at my brother’s wedding NEXT AUGUST. Almost exactly a year from now. I’m trying to lose some weight, (http://www.operationmoderation.blogspot.com/) but I’m not having a lot of success right now. Not that I’m huge, but I would like to feel better about myself.

· I have nothing planned for today at all. Nothing, other than praying the girls will be entertained by making a gigantic mess in another room so I can get some cleaning done somewhere else. I hope this day doesn’t end up tanked.

· It sounds like my washer and the comforter contained within survived. This is good news.

· Walking out my backdoor and seeing this: makes me happy.

· Maybe it’s time to resurrect Trouble Spot Tuesdays.

· Now the girls are asking for lunch sized snacks and dressup play. I’m baking here in the sun and it really is time for more coffee. So I guess that’s my cue to get my butt inside and get that pantry/fridge cleaned out and whatever else I can manage to get my hands on.

Fonky

2009-08-14T08:17:00.001-04:00

Yesterday morning I had this conversation with Baboo in my bathroom as I was getting dressed:

Her: Momma? Where you get your panties?
Me: What?
Her: WHERE YOU GET YOUR PANTIES? (same question, just louder)
Me: (putting on pants over underwear) Oh. Um, the store.
Her: WHAT stwore?
Me: I don’t remember. Just a store.
Her: Hahaha. Momma, you fonky!
Me: What? Funny?
Her: No. Fonky!
Me: Funky?
Her: Oh momma, you so fonky. (laughing and shaking head).

I still have no idea what fonky is, but apparently, I’m “it”. Jealous? Bet you were as fonky as me. Maybe it’s combination of wonky and funky? That would kind of describe me right now.

My Life. Now In Stereo

2009-08-08T09:04:00.001-04:00

Baboo is very much in a “mimic” phase right now. She wants to do EVERYTHING her big sister does, EXACTLY the same. Exactly.

I feel like my days are in complete repeat mode at every step. Here are some examples:

The other day, Mouse wanted to wear a tank top and shorts so she could “exercise” by running up and down the sidewalk. I was *NOT* allowed to join her, and though she did want to walk around the block by herself, to which I said an emphatic NO, I did allow her to go 3 doors up alone, while I stood in the driveway to supervise.

When Baboo got dressed, she refused to wear the outfit I had picked out. She dug through her drawers until she found a tank top dress that vaguely resembled the one Mouse was wearing. After she had it on, she said “Now I like Mouse! I’m big”. Then she got her shoes on by herself and went outside to run up and down the sidewalk, like Mouse.

Then we were at an electronics store, picking up a new cable modem as ours got pooched in a big thunderstorm we had earlier this week. It was supposed to be a quick “in and out” errand, but it ended up taking 25 minutes, all but 4 of those minutes were spent repeating times 2, the same “commands”. Mouse would stop and look at the candy on the ridiculously long checkout aisles. She’d ask if we could buy some. I’d say “not today, please come on”. We’d take 2 steps, then Baboo would stop at the exact same spot and ask the exact same thing, to which I’d reply in the exact same manner. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. 20 more times, to the check out past a candy wonderland and then again on the way out past the 150 vending, gumball, and toy grabber vending machines. Baboo even stopped at the exact same spot, to peer through a wall with little holes on it, by putting her hands up to her eyes, exactly the same way Mouse had. Good grief. We made it out with everyone in one piece, but just barely.

When I brush Mouse’s hair in the morning, she’s very sensitive. She always cringes and yelps out “OW! OW! OW!” with just about every stroke, despite me spraying ½ a bottle of detangler, and combing gently. When I brush Baboo’s hair, she starts yelping out “OW! OW! OW!” before I even pick up the brush. In fact, she usually starts as soon as I spray on the detangler. One day I asked her, “Are you saying that because Mouse does?” And she said, in a tone of voice as if to imply I was an idiot “Ye-ess, Mommy. I like Mouse”. Oy. She looked at me as though I had two heads when I said “You don’t HAVE to say that. Mouse says it because it hurts, but if it doesn’t hurt you, you don’t have to say “ow”.”

It’s had no effect. Oh well.

Most of the time, it’s kind of cute when Baboo tries to mimic Mouse’s hand movements, body language and tone of voice. However, it’s not so cute when she pulls the same attitude that Mouse does. It makes me bonkers when it’s coming from one 5 year old, never mind a 2 year old trying to be a 5 year old who thinks she’s a 13 year old. Save me. The future looks grim.

So far, Mouse takes the mimicry good naturedly. She understands that Baboo just wants to be like her and is learning from the biggest girl she knows best. We’re trying to use that to our advantage by telling Mouse that if “SHE” behaves well, then it’s like that Baboo will and then we’re all winners. She’s not really buying that 100%, but we’re not giving up hope. However, it’s pretty much a guarantee that if Mouse is acting up, then Baboo will as well, in exactly the same way.

Maybe WE’LL learn the lessons better with all this repetition?

Now Showing...

2009-08-02T20:58:00.002-04:00

I've started a new blog to chronicle what I hope will be my lifestyle change journey. I know, just what the 'net needs, another blog about weight loss... but well, I hope it's more than that.

Visit me over at
http://operationmoderation.blogspot.com/

Critters

2009-08-02T20:42:00.002-04:00

We’ve got critters up the whazoo here, of all sorts and they’re making a royal mess.

We’re inundated with spiders. We’ve got’em everywhere and they’re making mess all over the siding. I’ve got a tangle of webs all over the outdoor lights, pergola, decking and just about anyother web-worthy surface and bug gut stains all over my yellow siding. Gross.

I’ve got something that’s digging in my garden box. I noticed that my beautiful parsley was dying and I couldn’t figure out why. Then I noticed that it seemed loose, so I stuffed it back into the soil. The other day it was loose again, so I pulled up a bit and found that there were no roots left and a big tunnel underneath it. ARGH!!! All my soil is BEHIND the garden box and between the back of the box and the side of the house. Real convenient. I think I saw a vole last week, but it could have been a mouse. I don’t know.

We had a mouse in the house in the spring. Hubster was the only one to see it. Now that we don’t have cats, I guess this is inevitable. Anyway, he tried to catch it humanely. I bought the “nicest” traps we could find and tempted it with premium peanut butter. That little bugger ate the peanut butter and did not disturb the trap at all.

So, I bought the old fashioned snap traps. Somewhat reluctantly. We don’t relish killing other beings, but the thought of a mouse scampering all over my house was icking me out. Hubster set the “old snappy” trap one night, as well a humane trap and then he went to bed. My Mum was visiting and we were watching tv. Less than 5 minutes later, we heard the trap go off. Old snappy, of course. Hubster had had a problem getting the bar to stay set when he was getting the trap ready, so we thought that maybe it had just “gone off”. From across the room, my Mum peered around the kitchen island and said “that looks like more than peanut butter. Ewww”.
Hubster came down and cleaned it up. He looked at the little mouse and said “Dude! You had a choice! You could have been set free…. Sigh”. He felt really bad.

Anyway, apparently while the girls and I were away he caught another mouse in the garage. In about 5 minutes again.

Today, when I got the stroller out to go for a walk, I noticed droppings on the seat of the stroller. (gross, gross, ick, barf). I took the cover off and washed it. Then later on, I noticed a lot of droppings in one corner of the garage and a dead mouse in the other corner. Ew.

Needless to say, we’ve set some more traps in the garage.

I have no idea what to do about the one in the garden.

What a mess.

Cleaning Observations

2009-08-02T20:42:00.001-04:00

With school around the corner, I’m feeling the need to get organized. I’m trying really hard to keep things cleaned up, to get a pattern to my day going, and prodding the rest of the gang to participate along with me. Sometimes this involves cattle prods, shocks and steel toed boots.

I SWEAR that shoes breed around here. Or at least can walk out of the closet on their own. EVERY SINGLE TIME I turn around, especially RIGHT after picking up shoes, there is ANOTHER PAIR just around the corner.

And, I’ve come to the conclusion that my house is like one of those long skinny balloons you twist to make animals out of. I squeeze one end of the house and make it all nice and tidy, but you can be guaranteed that at the other end of the house, there’s a bubble of mess that’s close to becoming an explosion.

A Herd? A Heard?

2009-07-31T09:01:00.002-04:00

There is a herd (heard ... ahaha) of tap dancing elephants on the roof right now, who are threatening to fall through the cathedral ceiling of our bedroom at any minute.

Ok, so not really.

The bad news about the hail we had a few months ago, is that it destroyed some of my plants, which likely will not recover until next year. The good news is that it destroyed our roof. Good news you ask? Well, kind of. We needed a new roof in the next few years and were saving towards it, but the thing with having a big-ass house, is that it comes with a big-ass roof, which costs a butt-load of money to replace.

The hail and wind we've had lately has done enough damage for our insurance to cover replacing the roof. I'm warily relieved, as I know that this will likely bite us in the ass down the road but am glad we dont' have to scrimp over the next year or 2 to save up a boat load of money. How about, I'm humbly happy that it's being replaced. (insert proper sacrifices to house/insurance gods here).

So right now, my roof is crawling with roofers who are tromping around, ripping off shingles and banging away. The girls squeal every time a pile of shingles fall to the ground and I try not to cringe as I imagine what's left of my plants being flattened by the same falling shingles.

I've scheduled a playdate this morning with a new school family we are mentoring. A playdate here. At our house. I thought the roof would be done by today, but apparently it's not. I hope I can HEAR her when she's here. Though I may be deaf by the end of the day. A "pounding" headache is likely in my future.

Ha.Ha.

15 Years

2009-07-30T11:01:00.004-04:00

15 years ago today, my Mum woke me up gently at 8 am. It was my wedding day. I had been up late the night before working with family and friends to decorate the reception hall. I was tired, but excited and nervous.

After forcing down a piece of toast to help calm my nerves, the action started. My brother and grandfather started cutting fruit for fruit trays, people were coming and going, flowers were delivered, showers, hair was done, makeup applied, photos taken. Tears wiped.

Across town, Hubster-to-be was hanging out with his best man, eating McDonalds and smoking (which he no longer does); trying to calm HIS nerves.

It was a hot and humid day. A *fantastic* day to be in layers of fabric, makeup and tuxedos. Everything started on time, no one messed up their lines, no rings were lost. Everyone who was important to us was there. It thunderstormed during the ceremony at the church of my childhood, but everything was hot and dry again by the time we were done.

We had our photos done at a local park and then enjoyed a simple buffet before partying for a few hours.

I took 2 days off of work to be with Hubster in our dank, moldy little rental unit (a few week carryover until we moved to another town so I could go to school) we dubbed “The Bates”. We didn’t go on a honeymoon.

After the wedding dust settled, I was shocked. I was MARRIED. We were MAR-RIED. I realized I didn’t know HOW to be wife and went through a little identity crises for a few months. It took us some time to adjust to sharing our lives.

The first few years were hard, as they can be for most new couples. For us, we were young, naïve, inexperienced and somewhat stupid. The odds were against us in a big, big way. We found out later that there were bets at the wedding on how long we’d stay together. The average was 2 years.

We moved a few times, were broker than broke, came with our own growing-up baggage of trying to figure out where we were supposed to go and what we were supposed to be. It was hard to be an “us” when we were trying to figure out ourselves as individuals. I look back at the photos of our wedding day and am always surprised by how young we look. How young we were.
However, we stuck it out, fought it out and held on. We had the unwavering support of our families, who many times went above and beyond for us.

We went to college together, we started over together, we worked together, we were part of a special little girls’ life together, we grieved together. We had a whole life that just grew around us, like the tendrils of a vine. Together, we grew up.

And then, our first daughter was born, changing and challenging our lives in ways we could have never imagined. Another daughter, a few job changes and another big move – here we are.

15 years condensed into a few paragraphs. But there’s so much more. More than could ever be put into words, more than could ever be shared with others. It’s our lives, it’s us. It’s who we are. I wouldn’t trade a single minute.

I was intrigued by a spiky haired blonde boy who sat behind me in grade 9 geography class. He lost my pencil crayons and teased me mercilessly and yet, I still noted that he was “interesting and cute” in my diary over 20 years ago.

I was unexpectedly smitten by the troubled young man who called me out of the blue to invite me to his cousin’s wedding 17 years ago.

I married the man who: loves me unconditionally, makes me laugh until I pee my pants, convinced me that the Simpsons were really funny, puts up with my ever changing moods, makes me coffee (most of the time – ahem!), no longer cringes visibly when I say “so I was thinking…”, sometimes makes me crazy by his ability to strategize complex computer games but inability to multitask in real life and helped me to become the woman I am today.

I love the man who is my best friend, my endless champion, my most honest and gentle critic, the wonderful father of our amazing children and my cohort in the making of this history we have together. We may not be who we were when we were first married, but I love who we've become.

Though there may not be much fan fare in our lives right now, or even much of an outward celebration today, our 15th wedding anniversary, I hope you know that I love you more deeply and more completely with each year that we share together. I marvel at all that we’ve shared together, at who we’ve become as a couple and as individuals, and look forward to the journey we have ahead of us.

Happy Anniversary, Hubster. (We’re definitely going to Hawaii for our 20th!)

(cue cheesy song lyrics…)

You’re Still the One (Shania Twain)

Looks like we made it
Look how far we've come my baby
We mighta took the long way
We knew we'd get there someday

Bridge:
They said, "I bet they'll never make it"
But just look at us holding on
We're still together still going strong

Chorus:
(You're still the one)
You're still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You're the one I want for life
(You're still the one)
You're still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You're still the one I kiss good night

Ain't nothin' better
We beat the odds together
I'm glad we didn't listen
Look at what we would be missin'

(Bridge)
(Chorus)
(Chorus)

I'm so glad we made it
Look how far we've come my baby

Wandering....

2009-07-29T07:57:00.002-04:00

I'm still here... well *HERE* has changed as we're no longer at the cottage, we're home. We've been home for a week and a half.

But things have been crazy as my folks stayed until yesterday and we did some decorating in the midst of crash landing back into real life.

My folks left yesterday and I had a feeling of being a bit lost. After a month, basically, with someone with me the whole time, I felt a bit disjointed. So the girls and I spent the day at home.

Anyway, besides not having time to write just because our days were packed with other stuff, I haven't really felt the urge to write and am left wondering where I'm going with this blog. Do I need to have a place for it to go? I don't know. It doesn't feel like it has a direction or a focus.

My head is wandering around trying to find a focus. I've got a few projects on the back burner but due to the whole TIME CONSTRAINT frustration (with small children) and my need for sleep, I'm not really getting anywhere.

Anyway, I'm still here. Still pluggin' away. And I'll still keep posting, once my wandering mind returns to my head and I'm able to put 2 sentences together.

Winding Down

2009-07-14T22:36:00.005-04:00

We’re still at “Rural Canadian Cottage”, at least for a few more days. I think. The girls and I have been away from home for almost 3 weeks and I’m starting to feel my head switch back into “home” mode. Next week will be a busy week, after a 2 day drive home that I’m NOT looking forward to. However, I do want to get home, so it’s one of those necessary things. Hubster is missing us something fierce and wants us home. I know that when we once we’re home, we’ll be in the downward spiral towards fall and school. It’s already half way through July. How is that possible? Time seems to be passing so, so quickly.

This has been an interesting trip. In the first leg, as I mentioned before, we were visiting with family and celebrating Hubster’s Mom’s 60th birthday in our hometown, where Hubster and I grew up, went to school together, met and were married. We had a great time catching up with family and the few close friends that are still around. It was weird to be back. It felt familiar and strange at the same time. Things have not changed much in the 10 years since we’ve moved away, but it definitely doesn’t feel like “home” any more.

Then the girls and I headed up to my family’s cottage, a place I’ve been coming to during the summers since before I was born. (Yes, this is possible because my Mum came up when she was pregnant with me. So there). My Dad grew up here as well. There’s history and memories and despite the fact that things have changed pretty dramatically (we have more sleeping space, indoor plumbing (whohoo!)) and the whole place while still structurally the same, has morphed into a “new” place. It’s fun and comfortable and I’m glad to have it to share with my girls. They love being here. Swimming in the lake, going for ice cream in town, playing badminton, going for boat rides and fishing, and having chipmunks eat right out of your hand. It feels wholesome and good.

Local "Zippy" chipmunk. Will beg for peanuts. Or climb on your shoe. Or take it out of your hand.

I was able to escape for my first night away from the girls since they were born. Seriously. Mouse is 5 and I’ve never been away from them; either of them overnight. I stayed in the city with a friend I’ve known for almost 25 years and we had a fabulous totally grown-up 24 hours that included dinner out, pedicures and shopping in fancy boutiques. Very cool. And though I did miss the girls a bit, I wasn’t totally blown away. And they seemed to do really well also. I guess it wasn’t so much that I was worried for THEM, it was that I was worried for my FOLKS who would be watching them. I know that they’ve done all of this before, and knew they could (*edited because I had originally written "couldn't". Mum laughed and said - wow! freudian slip? oops! ahahah) handle it, but I figure they’re retired, they’ve raised their kids, they shouldn’t have to deal with little kid shenanigans any more. But I appreciated it a lot – so THANKS Mum and Dad!

And I turned 35. So, I guess I’m on the downhill slope to 40. I suppose at some point I should start feeling my age. My head has caught up to about 25ish, I think. I’m always surprised to think of how “OLD” I am. And as far as I can tell, my arms haven’t gotten any shorter. (thought, I’m sure my hair is greyer). I ended up with 3 cakes (since coming north, not all in the same day) to celebrate my special day, a chance to sleep in, some fun presents and a “party” put on by Mouse and my Mum and my Dad did a fireworks show off the dock for me. I rang in 35 with a literal BANG! All in all, a good transition to almost middle age. Ha.

Spice Cake (my fav) made by Mouse and Mum

Cool fireworks effect.

I’ve been really fortunate to get a lot of time to visit this trip. Visit with extended family, friends, my Grandfather (who didn’t remember me, but that’s ok), catch up Aunts and Uncles I don’t get to see often, see my little brother and meet his wonderful finance. This is all good for me. I feel like it fills me up and connects me to the life I don’t get to mesh with very often living so far away.

I always catch up on my favourite “food” while I’m up North, by which I mean crap food. Cadbury chocolate, Coffee Crisp, Smarties, Dare Real Fruit Gummies, Voortman Flakie Pastries. Mmmm. And I SWEAR that Kraft dinner (which I can barely stand the smell of at home) tastes better here as well. And my Dad BBQs a mean steak. I’m going home with some “work” do to. A lot of walking. Oy.

The weather has been way less than stellar this whole trip. Cold, rainy, windy with just a few sunny, warm days thrown in just to keep you optimistic that tomorrow will be better. I wonder what happened to summer! And while the girls have done very, very, VERY well with all of the moving around, visiting, travel, transition stuff, its’ life on the road for us. Its’ late bedtimes, off schedules, weird eating (if any at all). I think I’ve handled things pretty well and I’ve had a lot, A LOT of help from many people, its’ hard being Mom when I’m away. It’s my life in a different place but without all the things I’m used to. I love to travel and enjoy being in different places, but at heart I’m a homebody and like my space.

So after almost 3 weeks, we’re wearing down and chomping at the bit to get home. But it makes me feel like I’m not appreciating and taking advantage of the time we have here. It’s gone by so fast, but at the same time makes me feel like we’ve been away for AGES. It’s a travel time-warp. However, I know the last few days will fly by and we’ll be crash landing back into real life before we know it.

Stinkin' Hunks

2009-07-06T17:20:00.002-04:00

My kids are city kids, and yes, I guess I was a city kid too, but did regularly travel to rural areas. My kids have not had much of a chance to experience “country life”.

The girls and I have moved on from the visit to “Northern Home Town” to the visit to “Rural Childhood Canadian Cottage”. There are lots of windy, dusty roads through French farm county. Today, we were driving back from town (after killer ice cream, sorry hon, they had Black Cherry and I couldn’t resist! ) and passed by a farm that smelled like skunk. Fresh skunk. Mouse yelled EWWW and plugged her nose while Baboo asked who pooped. I explained to her about skunks and said that’s what they smell like when they spray. She stared blankly at me until I likened this to the episode of Curious George where George kept scaring the skunk and getting sprayed. She nodded her head as she said “oh yeah, the black and white kitty”. Um, yeah.

Anyway, so we drive past it, but the smell lingers for quite a while as its’ wont to do, because, well, it’s a skunk. (No, we didn’t run it over). Baboo keeps talking about the skunk then says to my Dad, who is driving “HURRY POPPY! Drive faster! Here comes the smelly ‘hunks!”

So, in jest he starts to speed up and I say “WAIT! They may be smelly, but they might be HUNKS! We should slow down and check them out.” (I’m sooo funny in the tacky, trashy kind of way).

Bloggin' On The Road

2009-06-27T16:40:00.002-04:00

I generally can’t read in the car without wanting to vomit after 5 minutes, but we’ll see if I can write and not destroy my keyboard. (Notes from the road trip)

Hour 1:

At 4:15 am, Hubster and I were up to finish getting ready for the big trip north. (Note to would be burglers - we have a big dog who likes to eat fresh meat, and neighbours who will shoot first and ask questions ... um, never). In the past, we’ve left at the buttcrack of dawn, put the kids in the car in their pj’s and they sleep for a couple of hours while we motor through the sunrise before we stop for breakfast and hey! We’re half way there!

This time… it did not go as planned. Baboo woke up soaked, which required a change of clothes and instead of being half asleep, she was mostly awake and not happy about it. Mouse woke up bouncing in bed with excitement. Clearly, no one intended to sleep.

An appropriate theme song for this morning is Ralph’s “M-o-m-m-y needs c-o-f-f-e-e”. Oy. We tried to stop at Dunkin Donuts for a much needed coffee before getting on the highway, but they didn’t open until 6. Even though the guy on the phone last night said they opened at 5.

It’s now 6:30 am. We’ve been on the road an hour. ONE. HOUR.

We’ve had 72 “are we there yet”s, 2 requests for potty breaks, 1 “I’m ready to go home”. We’ve had 2 “I’m hungry”s. We’ve had NO coffee. (Curse you Dunkin Donuts!) We nearly had 4 meltdowns.

ONE HOUR. Of an 8 hour drive WITHOUT breaks. We were thinking it would be about a 9-10 hour drive with breaks, but now, if the rest of the drive is anything like the first hour, we’re doomed. We may not arrive. Or maybe, not ALL of us will arrive.

So we stopped after one hour at a McDonald’s. It was not our plan, but before someone lost it, it was wise. We pottied, had breakfast and admired an enormous pink plush unicorn that Mouse INSISTED was the perfect item to bring on vacation - if we bought a trailer to carry it. Both girls could have sat on it with room to spare. Ridiculous.

Hours 2-4:

Then, we got back on the road WITH the portable DVD on (I caved soooo early in the game) and they lasted a bit longer for the second stretch. Baboo slept and Mouse watched some of her videos.

I usually plan to save the movies for when they’ve really had enough. This time, “I” had had enough. The thing is, I had a box of snacks/activities/toys – things to entice and entertain them for HOURS – NEW movies, NEW games, NEW colouring books. Travel Bingo, people. No reading required. How fun is that? Apparently not very, judging by my girls’ lackluster responses. They are not impressed and were barely entertained for more than 5 minutes by ANY of my carefully thought out plans and purchases.

Hour 6:

Side note: I did long car trips with my family EVERY summer. How did we do it without tv? I feel like a total cop-out.

However, that doesn’t stop them from asking for something new to do every 7 minutes. Or to eat. Or to ask to see the map. Or to get the crayon/toy/game that fell on the floor. I’m sure that all the contortionist twisting I’ve done counts as yoga. Unbalanced yoga. And while the seat covers may seem nice and smooth, when you’ve got an eczema rash under your arm and you keep rubbing up against the cover, it really isn’t as smooth as it seems. It feels like sandpaper.

Hour 7:

Now we’re about 2 hours away from our destination, we’re hoping that a rest stop was the last break we need. We let the kids run around outside after a bathroom break in a somewhat questionably clean bathroom. Ok, so maybe we MADE them run around. It was beautiful out and there was grass and trees and grasshoppers. We told them to touch every tree and catch a grasshopper. We killed 15 good minutes that way.

We’ve got the tv on, AGAIN, with a LONG movie and though everyone’s feeling a bit frazzled, we’re almost there. And I understand that every minute feels like an hour, especially when you’re 5, but if I hear “Are we there yet” one more time, I may just eat a piece of that red licorice that I’m very allergic to and ask Hubster to just dump me on the side of the road and leave me to die so I can rot away like the 70-odd roadkill raccoons we’ve seen along the highway.

Hour 9:
We arrive. Everyone is in tact. The girls are giddy with excitement at being with Grandma and Grandpa and Hubster and I are ready to collapse from mental anguish and exhaustion.

It feels a bit surreal to be back in our home town, where everything is so familiar and generally unchanged. As we're driving through town, I'm pointing out to the girls where we used to live/work/go to school etc. It feels like a whole life time ago.

And so begins this summer's vacation!

End note: I did NOT vomit on the keyboard, in fact I felt fine. Does this mean I get to get a netbook so I can write while in transit?! Oh, think of the possibilities! Whoo! Too bad I'm too damn tired to think that hard. At least not today.

Come Swim With Us

2009-06-24T09:06:00.001-04:00

Last night at dinner, the girls were talking about their day. We had been at the pool for a couple of hours and they were detailing what we’d done there, when Baboo looked at Hubster.

Baboo, excitedly: “Daddy!? You wanna come to the pool wif us?”

Hubster: “Well, I can’t come right now, but I’d like to go to the pool with you again sometime.” (meaning, it’s almost 7 and bedtime)

Baboo: “Oh Daddy.You not ready. You need to get your swimmy diaper on!”

Hubster: “Uhhhhh…” Then looking at me “You’re going to blog about this, aren’t you?”

Me, laughing hysterically: “Oh yeah!”

Dora in Dreamland

2009-06-24T08:46:00.002-04:00

I was jolted awake at 3:04 am by Baboo’s cries; the kind of cry that makes me hurry. Half awake, I fumble for my glasses in the dark, trying NOT to knock over my half full glass of water, slide them on my face as I hit the carpet running – ok, hobbling, as my feet just aren’t working yet.

As I walk into her room and see her little body shaking and sobbing by the glow of the nightlight, I call out “Mama’s here. What’s wrong?”

I sit on the side of her toddler bed and gather her into my arms, rocking a little to settle her down. She snuggles in tight against me, and is still crying, when I ask “Did you have a bad dream? Do you want to talk about it?” She nods against my chest with a deep sob.

Baboo leans away from me a bit, and starts to wail “Fwiper took my fwip-fwop! And he hided it!”
I wait for my tired brain to interpret what she’s said and then repeat “Swiper took your flip-flop? Is that what your dream was about?”

“Y.Y.Y.esssss” she wails, “And that’s NOT NICE! I want it back!”

“Oh, that ISN’T nice”, I empathize. Then I point to a spot on the carpet and exclaim that I see it. I reach down to the imaginary spot and pick up the imaginary flip-flop and hand it back to Baboo, who pretends to take it in her hand.

After a little cuddle, her cries turn into little hiccuppy sobs, and I lay her back down on her pillow, get her blankie and fill her water sip cup up with water. As I’m giving her a kiss I say “You just tell that Swiper; Swiper NO SWIPING!”

“Ok, Mama. I say dat” she says.

As I’m leaving the room, I hear a quiet “Fwiper, NO FWIPIN’!”

I can’t help but smile.

I pad down the hall to our bedroom and climb back into bed. I settle back into my comfy spot and close my eyes with a sigh, waiting for sleep to come. But after a few minutes, I’m still lying there. It’s 3:15 am. I’m wide awake.

Oooohhhh maaaaannnnn.

A Rambling Post of Mostly Nothing-ness

2009-06-22T08:26:00.003-04:00

Yes, I’ve been MIA again. Maybe I’ve fallen into the void where my keys are. No, I still have not found my keys. &^%@#

So what have I been doing? Well, last week was hot so we were at the pool. A lot. I think I’ve seen gills starting to grow on my kids. And webbing between their fingers and toes. My kids are the crazy, kamikaze kids you see at the pool – you know, the smallest ones jumping in the deep end with no floatation devices. Or diving to the bottom of the pool for rings/sticks. We elicit a lot of stares and amazed head shakes. They are nearly fearless (especially Baboo) but are confident, good swimmers. Mouse swam from the end of the deep end all the way to the shallow end by herself yesterday, without stopping. It was awesome and she felt like a million bucks. Even the lifeguard (we’ve been there enough that they all know us) was clapping and cheering her on.

I’ve also been in decorating mode. I found the fabric that fits my combined kitchen and family room perfectly and working with my Mum, we have devised a great plan and I’ll put her to work later this summer, painting furniture, making curtains and the like. And we’re doing it all for $500 or LESS! Hey, maybe we should make a show about that? NEVER MIND… there’s already a show with EXACTLY the same theme. HA!

I think I’ve been reluctant to really DECORATE our home. The previous owners were well liked by the neighbours and left a few things (curtains, wall shelves etc) that while they didn’t really suit us, weren’t highly offensive either. I felt bad booting their presence out of the house. But they don’t live here any more. I know. It’s stupid.

But now I feel like I can put our STAMP onto the house and make it ours. ! I’m very excited about it though. It’s going to look great and to me, it already feels more settled.

I’ve been attempting to clean up a bit. It looks like a bomb went off in just about every room. I’ve been cleaning out some books and baby stuff and have set up a few things to sell on Ebay. I sold my Hypnobabies cds/book last night in 5 minutes. Seriously. While I’m happy about that, I think my heart broke a little bit. It seems so… final. Admitting that yes, we are done. No more births. I can’t say that I got rid of ALL my birth books, I just can’t.

And my sling. I had it all ready to post and I caved. I can still use it with Baboo, though I rarely do, mostly because she’s so fiercely independent. Mouse in particular, lived in the sling until she was 3. Maybe I need to hang onto it and pass it down to her when she’s ready. I used the denim LLL carrier my Mum used on my brother for both kids when they were tiny babies. It worked great.

And I’ve learned that I can’t sell my cloth diapers on ebay. Anyone want to buy some cloth diapers and covers, in excellent shape??

It doesn’t help, that for Father’s Day I got Hubster a digital picture frame and loaded it with photos of the kids from the year dot. And then I watched them grow up in front of my eyes when I previewed the slide show. And then my heart broke into a hundred tiny little pieces. It was wonderful and bittersweet at the same time. I love who they’re becoming but at times I miss their baby-ness so much. Those days that seemed endless at the time, now seem to have passed in the blink of an eye.

The girls loved watching the photos and laughing at their funny faces or crowing “THAT’s ME when I was a BABY” when one of their photos came up.

In other news that makes me feel old, especially with my birthday right around the corner, my brother, my little brother (who is also almost 33 years old!) is getting married. Yes, married. Not for a few years, but this weekend he proposed to the young lady that he loves and he called to tell me all about it. He sounded happy and excited and I'm happy and excited for him. I wished them well and am already looking forward to meeting his fiance in a couple of weeks.

So now I’ve rambled on about mostly nothing, which is mostly how things are going for us these days. We’re rambling around at top speed, not really getting much of anything done, but mostly enjoying ourselves none-the-less.

Wiped

2009-06-10T22:22:00.001-04:00

No, I have not found my keys yet. I remain minutely hopeful that they’ll turn up, but I’m not holding my breath. I don’t want to pass out.

I’ve mentioned a little too often lately how tired I am, and not just tired. Wiped. Out.

Things have been very busy for the past few months and though I hoped this summer would give me a bit of a reprieve, it has not. In fact, things have intensified.

As of this writing, its’ 9:47 pm. I have been awake and “Mom” since 6:24 am. Baboo has not napped and yet has been out of bed 10 times in the last 1.5 hours. Though I did have adult conversation today for a few hours during a play date, it felt a bit like I was “entertaining” and so feel that I have had no time to myself. I feel like I’m going to snap if I hear those adorable little feet get out of bed one more time to go potty/yell that she’s scared/or ask for help to find “Tweet-hawt” the little stuff dog who fell off the bed for the 100th time. Yes, Hubster is helping out to get her settled, but the point is, I can still hear it. I can’t SHUT OFF.

The girls are at a very busy stage right now. They want to explore and be with their friends and be stimulated and go, go, go. I want to encourage this, to a degree. Baboo rarely naps and if she does, bedtime is screwed for hours. Though Mouse will go to bed without too many issues, she does very little by herself during the day and requires very frequent direction/redirection/interaction/reassurance.

I feel like a cruise director trying to keep the girls busy, but encouraging them to play by themselves to a degree. But it still requires me to monitor thing; after all, Baboo is only 2. And she’s still potty training so that does require a certain level of constant awareness and attention. I’m having a hard time finding any kind of rhythm that doesn’t feel frantic.

And in between this, I’m trying to squeeze in meals, a bit of cleaning/laundry – even enough just to try to keep it from taking over, errands, email when I can. Phone calls are a luxury that are often jilted, interrupted conversations that make me feel like I’m losing my mind because I can’t seem to finish a thought.

Lately, its’ 9:30 by the time everyone’s in bed and SETTLED, despite starting bedtime at 7 pm. I’m so FRIED by then. I have projects I want/need to work on and can’t find the time or energy to get them done. I often just flake in front of the tv for an hour (and even that feels too late) and stumble off to bed for too few hours of interrupted sleep. There is very little time for “ME” where I’m not left feeling guilty because something or someone is being neglected/inconvenienced. I know I can’t make everyone happy all the time, and I’m not trying to, but lately, I don’t feel like anyone’s needs are being met in even a close to satisfactory manner. I know that part of this incompetent frame of mind is because I’m just plain tired.

I stopped going to therapy because I can’t seem to get the timing right and frankly, I’m resenting the time spent there. I feel like I’d rather do something more constructive with my time. I’ve been feeling “done” with it, and maybe this is what “done” feels like.

I’m having a lot of mixed feelings: guilt, resentment, anger, sadness about not being able to fully embrace this time with my girls. This is the last summer before we’re into full time school and life will change permanently then. I’m trying to keep up with what seems like a frantic pace, trying to stayed charged and ready to go and yes, we are having fun and I am enjoying it, but god help me, I am tired.

If this is the new pace of our lives, which seems to be going just so damn fast, I need to get into the game and find a way to function more efficiently because I’m going to get dragged behind this fast running horse and it’s going to be messy.

And now, it’s late because I’ve spent way too long bitching about how tired I am (wah, wah, wah. Poor me. Snort) instead of getting my snarky, cranky, over-tired self to bed. And tomorrow is another day full of busy possibilities which I must be ready for.

An Interesting Girl

2009-06-10T21:44:00.001-04:00

I’ve been saying for a while that Mouse is just not that into toys. I don’t think she ever has been. As a baby, she wanted to be where I was; seeing, doing, participating in whatever I was doing. She’d play with a toy if I was sitting there with her, but otherwise, it was very rare for her to go and play with anything on her own. She’s still that way and she’s 5.

Whenever a birthday or gift giving holiday comes around I cringe when people ask me for gift ideas, because I know they’re expecting something straightforward like “She loves Lego/Barbie/xzy”. But honestly, I never know what to say. We struggle with ideas for ourselves.

For the last while she’s been very into princess things, much to my dismay and DESPITE trying to avoid them. However, she really only likes the dress-up clothes and accessories and real clothes/accessories with princesses on them. She’s not into the dolls, the toys etc. None of that attracts her at all.

She has toys. Balls, play kitchen, baby dolls, blocks, various little trinkets, electronic toys, Little People and a beautiful dollhouse that my mother made a few years ago. She rarely plays with any of this.

So what does she do? She follows me around the house asking me to figure out what to do. She colours. She’ll do crafts or play board games – but right now, those require a lot of my attention, which is fine, except well, it’s hard to give her 14 hours of interrupted time a day. She’ll play on the computer, she’ll play outside (swinging, mostly), she’ll run around and make nests out of flowers and will chase her sister around until they’re both crazy. Of course, she’ll happily watch tv. (Not exactly my first choice)

When she’s with her friends, she wants to play chase, pretend animals and dress-up, and many versions of rescue games- princess rescue, animal rescue etc. Again, all of which is fine. She’s not into animal dress up outfits or puppets or anything like that.

She loves to take any kind of class. She recently started tumbling classes and not only does she love it, she’s actually pretty good at it. She loves to swim and said after 2 hours the other day when Baboo and I were waterlogged and headed home “But we were ONLY there HALF an hour!” Clearly time passed faster for her than it did for me. She loves dancing and music and anything where she can interact with someone, ANYONE else.
I worry a bit because she really doesn’t spend a lot of time by herself. I want her to feel comfortable being alone and being able to entertain herself.

Today, after 5 hours of play time with 5 other friends, she complained to me that NOBODY, particularly ME ever played with her. Hmmm. This is mostly because after a house full of 6 kids and 3 adults I was ready for a break and asked her to play by herself. I had set up a pretend grocery store in the playroom (which is a whole other blog topic, suffice it to say for now, that it’s used a guest room more than it’s played in) and got both girls interested so I could go and clean up the typhoon mess from the playdate. It lasted all of 4 minutes. Sigh.

So, tonight, I did a little test. I had $10 in Kohl’s cash that was going to expire today. I told the girls they could each get anything they wanted that cost about $5. Baboo found some little figurines that she wanted right away. Mouse wandered up and down the aisles (all 4 of them) for 20 minutes. She initially looked at a $20 princess “music” (code for annoying) book, even though she knew it was too expensive. She did say she didn’t really WANT it. And then she asked about an Ariel princess Barbie type doll that could go in the water, but it was also beyond the budget and she also wasn’t that interested. Then she asked to look at the clothes.

We wandered around there for another 10 minutes before she decided on an oversized (read, for older girls) pink, sparkly t-shirt with horses on it that says “Free to be yourself”. She wanted to buy it to wear as a nightgown (and it will probably still be a nightgown on her in 7 years). However, it was $4.99 on sale and she said it was what she wanted.

As soon as she came home, she ran to put it on and danced around with joy. I shook my head.

For her birthday, she received some money from my brother. $20. A fortune to a 5 year old. When asked where she would like to go to spend her money, she said she wanted to go to the Disney (ie Princess) store. When I asked her if she’d like to look at Toys R Us, she said no. So, I took her to the mall. Again, we wandered around and she had hoped to find an Ariel or Jasmine dress up outfit that was within her $20, but there weren’t any. (We’re going for a full set, I guess). She had a very hard time deciding, but in the end, bought: a small plastic Ariel figurine, an Ariel beach bag, an Ariel plate, little snack bento-box thing and spoon/fork set. She paid for it herself and used her little wallet and got her own princess bag to put it all in. She came in under budget and was happy to have a bit of change to put in her piggy bank. She certainly got a haul of stuff for her $20!

On the way home, I asked if she was happy with her purchases, feeling a bit guilty that she didn’t find something FUN, but she was thrilled with them. So, who am I to argue?

I guess I have a hard time relating to her in some ways because as I kid I played for hours with my baby dolls, Barbie dolls to an extent, Legos, stuffed animals – you name it. I’d often play by myself, but also played pretend (house, school, dolls) with friends. I loved to read and did that by myself as well. At one point, I had a little “fort” made it my closet and stayed in there a lot. I loved toys and was always happy to receive them. I would have KILLED to have the dollhouse she has.

I keep trying to find the THING that captures her imagination, but so far I haven’t found the real winner. There have been a few “almosts” but nothing that’s really been a hit with her. I try to watch her at her friends houses to see if she seems taken with things I likely wouldn’t buy for fear of wasting my money on her disinterest. But again, so far, nothing seems to click for her. Not that I think she “HAS” to have something, I’m just curious to find out what really makes her tick and how to help her grow.

So if you wonder why I have NO ideas for you when you ask what to get her as a gift… know you know I’m not kidding! It makes me crazy to waste money, time, space on things that she just is not interested in.

It’ll be interesting to see how she turns out as an adult and if I’ll be able to keep up until then.

Distraction from Lost Keys

2009-06-08T21:06:00.003-04:00

So, still no keys, despite offering the girls a dollar if they found them and a concerted effort on my part, which largely involved making a larger mess before cleaning up an original mess. Like the play room, the swim bag and Mouse’s dress up clothes. Oh and getting grass stains on my pants as I crawled around on the lawn.

I did, however, find a blue key chain that says “Las Vegas” on it. It does not have my keys on it, or any keys for that matter, though my key chain is blue. I also found a dead bird under our deck. None of these is overly helpful.

I will distract you from my key finding incompetence with some funny Baboo anecdotes.

Tonight at dinner, we were all pretty over tired which meant a lot of giggling and general silliness. Baboo started asking what colour everyone’s eyes were. She asked us to take off our glasses so she could see, then she’d howl with laughter when we took our glasses off. Why? I don’t know. So I asked her what colour HER eyes were. She proceeded to twist her head this way and that and rolling her eyes to “see”. She stopped after a few seconds and shrugged her shoulders and said “I don’t know! I can’t SEE them!” I think Hubster and I wet our pants laughing.

We have a lot of maple trees in our area that are dropping their “helicopter” seeds like crazy. When we go for a walk, she collects them by the handful and puts them in the cupholders in the stroller trays. Mouse calls them “twirly-twirlies” because, well, they twirl. One day we were walking with Hubster and it was taking forever because Baboo was collecting so many of these things. He said that it seemed like we had enough “twirly-twirlies”. She stopped, put her hands on her hips, shook her head from side to side and said “Daddy! They are called SQUIRRELY-SQUIRRELIES!”

Ok, there was another one I was going to write, but I can’t remember, and generally that’s a sign that my brain is getting ready to power down. So I suppose I should wrap this up before my brain battery just dies. (ha).

Oh, I will share another yummy thing to do with 4 lbs of strawberries and leftover whipping cream used to make ice cream. Looks good, huh? And yes, I did whip that cream by hand. Wonder why I’m not losing any weight? No, me either.

More Lost Things...

2009-06-07T21:17:00.003-04:00

ARGH! I'm beyond frustrated. I have not been able to find my keys since Thursday night! I know we were out most of Thursday, I unlocked the door when we came home and I KNOW I had my keys. But when I went out on Thursday evening, I couldn't find them. I've looked in the obvious places and have cleaned off my desk, searched my pockets/purses/bags etc, but they are still MIA.

I'm more than a bit pissed because I've got all my grocery store/movie/library keychain cards on there. I actually went shopping at a "real" grocery store last night (instead of just Walmart/Aldi) and ended up just getting a new saver card because I could not even remember what phone number I put down on the old card. Good grief.

And I've tried asking the kids as well. They have no idea.

This is soooo unlike me. I don't usually lose stuff like this for DAYS.

Some one please kick me in the pants and help me find my damn keys!!! I'm sure they'll turn up someplace stupid, but I just wish the stupid place would reveal itself to me SOONER. ARGH.

Nothing Says Summer Like...

2009-06-07T07:35:00.007-04:00

STRAWBERRIES! And ICE CREAM!

We love strawberries, here. No, let me rephrase that… SOME of us love strawberries (me and Mouse), some like them (Baboo) and some barely tolerate them (Hubster). So, uh, I guess I just lied. We all love ice cream though.

Anyway, regardless, nothing says summer like strawberries. Lately, we’ve had some good ones from the grocery store, and cheap too. So we’ve been buying and eating them 2 lbs at a time.

However, the other day we had the opportunity to go strawberry picking and so we took advantage of the first sunny, though cool day to go and get some of our own. We geared up in clothes we could get grubby/stained in, rubber boots for the mud, sunscreen, hats, lunch, 50 dozen other things and headed out.

We were supposed to meet a group there, but for once, I didn’t get lost so we were pretty early. After the 100th “Can we start picking NOW, Mom?” in the space of 13 minutes, I caved and we started picking. We had to have a bit of a lesson on not sitting or stepping on the berry plants, not eating berries from other peoples' boxes, not picking the green ones , and distinguishing between a rock and a strawberry. Good grief.

We were half way through filling our box when some of our group started arriving. Mouse ran off to be with her friends and I’ll just say that I’m glad I decided to put the bright tie-dye shirt on her so I could see her running across the fields. Baboo decided about an hour in that she wanted to go home. Immediately. She walked to the end of the aisle and started for the car. I had to run to catch her before she truly wandered off. I was able to bribe her to stay a little longer with a snack and some mini bubbles I had in my bag. And the little yellow lab puppy someone had was a big draw as well. More than the strawberries were, I guess. Though when you’re 2, I can see the appeal of a puppy over a field of plants.

Once we had enough berries (4 lbs for us) our group got their lunches and we headed to the little shop to pay for our berries. We sat and ate in the sunshine, surrounded by corn stalks, blueberry and raspberry bushes while our kids ran around after the resident golden retriever, until we yelled “ICE CREAM”. Then all activity ceased until all children where thoroughly sticky from “Super kid”, “Moose tracks” or “Rainbow Sherbert”.

After much reluctant whining and mud walking, we got home and decided the best way to show these little berry gems our appreciation was to mash them and mix them into ice cream.

So, the following day, I made the ice cream base (almost like a custard), and then the girls smashed up 2 cups of our little berries.

We poured everything into the machine and then checked on the ice cream every 2.4 minutes. The excited pronouncement at each check point was “It’s almost near the top! It’s almost ready!” Lather, rinse, repeat for 30 minutes.

This kind of looks like some gory carnage.

While waiting take pictures of other produce.

Pears....

Our pepper plant...

Finally, it WAS ready. We all grabbed spoons and dug into our “soft serve” homemade strawberry ice cream. Ooooohhhh. It was good. The girls cried after 5 spoonfuls when I put the container back in the freezer. Actually, I cried too. But I figured we’d better save some for later. And later we did have some – in cone form.

Not only was this a fun process and the girls are at a pretty good age when they can be a part of this and appreciate where food comes from etc (and how much work it takes to pick berries etc), but for me it was a reminder of my childhood. I remember going strawberry picking with my grandparents. We’d bring our berries home, clean them up and make ice cream. We’d have the barrel with the hand crank and rock salt type machine and not the motorized version I have today, but my brother and I had fun cranking away as hard and as long as our skinny little kid arms could. There’s nothing so tasty or satisfying as that first delectable spoonful of creamy, cold ice cream. Mmmmm.

*Edited to add note to self... after allowing youngest daughter to use camera, WIPE OFF THE LENS. Otherwise, even though it's obviously sunny and warm and everyone is dressed in t-shirts and little children are cutely covered in strawberry juice, it will appear as though everyone is deeply surrounded by fog. Lots of sticky, slimey fingered fog. Sigh.

Rings!

2009-06-02T20:34:00.000-04:00

Yesterday wasn’t really a crazy day, but I was certainly out of it enough to forget my wallet when I was supposed to stop at the bank and delirious enough to try to convince Baboo to lie down with me so I could have a nap. That I was more mentally incompetent than usual will be important to the story. Trust me.

Mouse was at a playdate at a friends’ house and before she came home, I was trying to get dinner ready. Baboo, who did NOT nap was nearing the end of her rope and was nearing a meltdown. She was whiney and cranky and begging to be carried and pulling on my legs. I wasn’t really in good form either as I was tired, cranky and mentally taxed just making dinner, never mind dealing with a tantrum.

I’d decided to make hamburgers for dinner. As a compromise to holding her, I had Baboo pull a chair over to the counter to watch me mix up the meat and shape the patties and “help”. I took off my rings; a plain silver wedding band and my grandmother’s engagement ring and set them beside me before I put my hands into the bowl. She wanted to try them on, so I allowed her to, hoping that she’d be busy and quiet with those for a few minutes. Then promptly forgot about her wearing the rings. Brilliant, I know.

After the patties were ready, we went outside so to put the burgers on the grill and to play a bit before Mouse and Hubster came home. We were on the deck, in the grass and digging for worms in the garden. Not once did those rings cross my mind.

Fast forward to the evening. The girls are in bed, Hubster and I have worked out with the EA Sports Personal Trainer and are chilling out to watch Reaper. Half way through, I unconsciously move my thumb over to twirl my ring, and realize it’s not there. A sinking PANIC hit my stomach like a ton of bricks covered in acid. I said “Oh shit. My RINGS!” and Hubster looked at me like I had 2 heads. I mumbled out a description of what happened while running around the house frantically, before stopping in front of the back door.

I vaguely remembered Baboo having them on when we were outside, but I wasn’t 100% sure. I tried to remember all the places she had been when I was making the burgers. It’s amazing how much that girl gets around in the space of 10 minutes. I knew she’d be in the living room, the play room upstairs and… outside.

I wasn’t overly worried about the silver band. That is not my original wedding ring and it was not expensive. I bought it several years after we were married because it was more comfortable and I had been reacting to my original rings. The other ring however, though I’d never met my grandmother, as she passed away when I was a baby, was very important to me. It had a bit of value, but more importantly, it was a part of my family. I felt just sick thinking that it could be lost forever.

While we were looking around the house, Baboo happened to kind of wake up and I figured that maybe being half awake she’d be able to tell me where they were. When I asked her about the rings, she was kind of whiney, understandably, and did say she took them outside. By then it was too late for us to look outside.

I tried not to dwell on it so that I’d get some sleep and resigned myself to really look in the morning.

This morning, as soon as we got up, I asked Baboo if she remembered where my rings were. She said she took them outside and put them in the dirt. I asked “In the garden dirt or under the deck dirt?” She said “Deck dirt.” So, as soon as she was dressed, I took her outside and asked her to show me where she was when she dropped them. She walked a few feet from the door and pointed down. Sigh. Oy.

I didn’t make a big deal of it and didn’t have time to look right then, but figured I’d get to it. Later in the day, I’d mentioned the rings to a friend and she said “You should look before it rains and they sink in the mud”.

As soon as said goodbye to my friend, I went to hang out the swim towels on the clothesline and noticed it was starting to rain. Crap. Ah well, I figured, maybe it will just be a quick shower.

And then we had a HUGE thunderstorm with a side of deluge that made my knees weak, especially after this weekend. I kept looking anxiously at the deck wondering if it was worth braving being struck by lightning to go and look for the rings.

Regaining my sanity, I realized this was not a good idea.

But, after dinner, it stopped storming and the sun came out. I figured I might as well try to find them. The girls splashed in the puddles, covering me with water as I bent over with my ass in the air, nose pressed between the slats of deck wood, peering with one eye as far in each direction as I can, watching carefully for any hint of a sparkle and praying silently that I will find them. I started with an obvious grid pattern (I’ve watched CSI, you know!) and moved down one slat at a time, starting in the area Baboo told me she’d dropped the rings.

And then I found one, literally within 3 minutes. It was sitting right on top of the soil, right under a generous space between the boards. It was my silver ring, but it gave me HOPE! I jumbled something to Hubster about “RINGS! ACK! HOOKY-THING! HELP!”

He quickly came and rigged up a large paperclip on a bamboo stake, which was better than the wimpy extra long piece of gigantic twist-tie I had. He had the ring in just a few minutes. (My hero!)

The girls became very interested as I’m peering through the deck and are shoving their little butts and noses right next to me. So, not helpful!

However, working backwards towards the door, I found the other ring. I nearly cried! Hubster, again, had it out in just a few seconds. I think my hand was trembling as I took it CAREFULLY off the paperclip and put it on my finger.

The girls danced around yelling “Treasure! Treasure! Mommy’s got treasure!” and proceeded to ask if they could rescue the 10 year old barrettes and pennies that they’d spotted under the deck. Then Baboo said “I try your rings, Mommy?” It was all I could to not to yell, not just no, but “HELL NO!”.

I don’t blame her, I really don’t. It was my own stupid lack of judgment and attention yesterday that almost made me lose my rings. I’m generally ok with the girls trying on my jewelry and generally, I’m more careful to watch them. I don’t have anything that’s overly valuable dollar-wise, but lots it sentimental to me. I’ll be sure to keep that in mind next time I try to bribe a 2 year old to let me work in peace. Good grief.

Feelin' Old

2009-06-01T08:23:00.001-04:00

Yesterday morning, Hubster took the girls out on an errand with him so I could take my time getting ready. It was nice to have a shower and not be rushed, or feel like I “should” be rushing.

As I’m brushing my teeth and doing my hair, I’m wondering who that tired, baggy-eyed, gray-haired old lady in the mirror is. Sigh, it’s me.

However, suck it up, I slap on a bit of make-up and a smile, finish getting dressed and go to meet the gang who have returned from their errand and are ready to move onto our next tasks for the day.

I slog through the day in a half-awake stupor. I’m exhausted these days in a bone-tired, barely focusing kind of way. We ran some errands and I’m HOPING for a nap after lunch, but the sun is out and the girls are begging to go the pool. So, we get ready to go.

When Hubster’s not here, I have to get them to help me put sunscreen on my back and they’re pretty good at it. Yesterday, Hubster was here, but the girls still wanted to “help” Mommy. I squirted some sunscreen into their COLD little hands and bent down. They’re both smearing away, mostly in one spot, so I reminded them to spread it around all over. Mouse is maintaining a very self-important chatter as she works. She explains to Daddy that she has to help me do this VERY IMPORTANT job because my arms aren’t very long and I can’t reach my back and that it’s very important to put sunscreen on so that we don’t get sunburned. And if SHE was a grown up with very short arms, SHE would want some help too.

And, she said, “Mommy’s old. She needs LOTS of help. She can’t do this any more because she’s SO OLD.” And Baboo, piped in “Mommy is OLD”.

And then Hubster’s face collapsed as he tried not to laugh. He was wise to leave the room so I didn’t shoot him down with my old lady laser beam eyes.

I think I sputtered “Gee, thanks” to Mouse. To which she replied “Its’ ok, Mom. It’s ok to be old. One day when I’m old, I’m going to want help to do this too” as she kept working the sunscreen into my spine.

Thankfully, this OLD lady got to have a NAP after we went swimming. Apparently, I needed it, you know, cos I’m so OLD and everything.

Sirens, Thunder and Hail

2009-05-31T08:25:00.003-04:00

We’ve lived here in Midwestville (aka Tornado Alley) for almost a year and last night we experienced our first tornado-worthy storm.

I’d just gotten home from grocery shopping for the week, we were sitting town to watch a Tivo’d version of “The ‘Burbs’ “ with a cup of tea and a treat from the store, when the National Weather Service cut into Tivo. Initially, Hubster said “Oh, this must have been taped the other night when we had some really bad wind” and then we saw that it was “today” (as in yesterday because that’s when we were watching tv). And then we realized that we could hear the tornado sirens. (They test these every Friday at 11 am, so we know what they sound like).

We both stared at each other in a bit of shock and felt a flash of panic. We changed the channel to the news to see what was going on. All we could see was a band of RED headed right for us. We were warned of severe rain, thunder/lightning and hail with the possibility of a tornado.

We zipped outside to the deck tp take down the pergola cover and brought in any of the light furniture. As an afterthought, I grabbed a big pot of deep purple million bell petunias that I had out there. We both commented said how good it was that Tivo (ah, Tivo, can you do anything wrong?) could be interrupted for things like National Weather Service Announcements, and then we both noticed that we’d never actually experienced more than a test of those announcements before.

Then we came in to wait out the storm.

It only took about 5 minutes before the storm really hit us. We agreed that the safest room for us was our main floor bathroom. Hubster watched the storm advance from our bathroom window upstairs, until we could see the hail.

The wind picked up pretty strongly, and the hail sounded like a million hammers on all the walls and windows. To be extra careful, we brought the girls, who were sleeping, down into the bathroom.

They were a bit confused and then Mouse was upset and scared, but we just described what was happening and why (and then kicked our butts a bit for not talking about this SOONER!) . We listened to the hail and the update on the storm from the tv in the family room and watched the lightning light up the hallway through the front door. We noted that we should leave a flashlight in that bathroom.

And then it was done. It passed through, in about 10 minutes. The hail really only lasted a about 5 minutes.

When the hail was done, we went and looked out the windows to check it out. My stomach sank as I saw the carnage the hail had reaped on my front garden. The back seemed to be ok, I think because most of it is close to the house and the wind seemed to be hitting the front of the house. There were piles of hail, like marbles, at the ends of the drain pipes.

However, out front, the hostas are shredded, the impatiens pummeled, the begonias are battered and I don’t know if the cascading petunias by the door will make it. I walked out on the lawn to just look around, and my feet were numb after about 30 seconds because of the hail. Sigh. However, they’re plants, and I’m grateful that so far it seems like those are the only things that got damaged for us. And I’m very grateful that in the end, we did not get hit with a tornado.

The Garden Before - Perking along nicely:

The Hail:

The Aftermath:

The girls were a bit worked up, so we just let them sit with us for a while and I rocked Baboo back to sleep while we watched the news a bit more to see if we were in for more storms and Hubster surfed for weather radios. We were both a bit concerned because we could barely hear the tornado siren last night. We live near a fire station and train tracks, so we’re used to a lot LOUDER noise at night and would probably not even notice if the siren went off at night, and although we do know that’s rare, it does happen.

Apparently, there wasn’t TOO much damage in our area and most people came out ok. I think there was a small twister a north of us, but other than that, it was most just heavy rain and hail. Some areas got golf ball sized hail and while ours SOUNDED like basketballs when it was hitting the house, it was really mostly pea/dime sized.

When I was finishing up the groceries/errands last night, before the storm, I noticed that each time I came out of a store the sky was looking more ominous. When I was walking into Kohls, the last store, as I looked at the clouds, I wondered if this could be a tornado storm. A woman walking in front of me said “Wow! Looks like we’re in for a whopper of a storm.”

So, today we’ll survey the damage and likely take some time to vamp up our disaster preparedness and discuss plans a bit more. I do have some extra water/food put away in the garage, but we both would like to be better prepared and to have the girls be better prepared as well.

I know I’m sounding a bit dramatic (who? Me?) and really, I do know that we’re ok and knew we’d be ok last night. Neither of us have ever lived in a place where such damaging weather related disasters could happen on a regular basis. We’re used to 6ft of snow for 6 months, and ice and arctic temperatures, but tornados? Hmm, not so much. And when we lived in Eastcoastville, we were far enough inland that hurricanes weren’t really a problem, either.

Though, now that I think of it, I do remember experiencing a tornado before! I was about 8. We were at my grandparent’s house in the spring. (I think they had just come back from Florida before we moved North, is that right, Mum?) A bit storm came up and I remember watching a small tornado whip down the street, while standing by the front door. It ripped out the neighbors’ tree, across the street and made a huge mess. Weird. I hadn’t thought about that in a long time.

Anyway, we’re fine. And thankfully, most of the people around us are as well.

Summer Daze...

2009-05-27T09:45:00.002-04:00

We’ve officially had ONE, yes, ONE day of summer break and it was enough to make me realize that my dream of a relaxing, laid back summer was probably going to be out of the question.

These girls want STRUCTURE and PLAYDATES and THINGS TO DO. And they can’t entertain themselves for more than 4.3 minutes without requiring me for something, so um, yeah. I’m back to the drawing board and scrambling a to fill the month of June in a bit more. So this week, will be our chaos week while I get my ducks in a row, and, it looks like next week will be a bit hectic also because we have a bunch of things going on. I hope it's a week with a bit more structure. I hope.

And it will mean I need to get my head out of my butt and off of the computer and get to work. Is it wrong to schedule spontaneous things? Probably, but well... a Mom's gotta do what a Mom's gotta do.

But first… more COFFEE! Oy.

Mouse Turns 5 - The Summary

2009-05-27T09:26:00.003-04:00

I’m a bit behind. Again. I’ve been trying to get the BIRTHDAY EXTRAVAGANZA roundup posted, but I have just not had the time to sit down and get it organized. Or pee. Or well, anything other than just run around like a chicken with my head cut off.

However, here I am with a potentially rainy day ahead of me. Not much of a voice to talk with (I got the girls’ cold, yay me) and a tv FULL of shows to entertain the girls for a little while so I can catch up on my “computer” life.

So, Mouse, my first baby …is 5. She’s officially crossed over from little kid to big kid and overnight, it feels exactly like that. All of a sudden, she just seems so, well, BIG. This has been a year of important milestones. This year she:
Started school for the first time (and thrived there!)
Got her first 2 wheeler bike (with training wheels)
Learned how to skip and did so with joyful abandon at every possible opportunity
Learned how to get on by herself and pump on the swings
Got her first Barbie doll, though she seems to prefer the dolphins that came with it more
Learned how to read all the kids names in her class as well as a bunch of other words
Learned how to zip and button
Grew 2 inches and finally moved up a size in clothing
Moved to a new state
Swam in the ocean
Opened the fridge by herself

On Thursday, Hubster’s parents and his 2nd cousin, M, arrived to surprise Mouse and she was certainly surprised!

On Friday, Mouse woke up early, excited to get her birth-DAY started. We let her open up her gifts from family and close friends and she enjoyed each and every gift. Then we headed off to school for her last day. The kids were a bit out of sorts that day, knowing it was the last day. Mouse was VERY popular and everyone wanted to sit beside and play with the “Birthday Girl”. We brought mini ice cream cones to share for a special snack, which we had outside

Mouse was a bit sad leaving and saying goodbye to her teacher and classroom. Even I cried a bit because I was just so grateful to have had such a wonderful year. Before we left the school, we went and looked around what will be her kindergarten classroom in the fall. I decided it was best to let her process that information over the summer to help us be better prepared come September.

Saturday dawned bright and early. A little TOO bright and early for me, after a bit of a late night doing party prep, as Mouse got me up at 6:30. She was just so excited for her party! However, it was good as I got a head start on finishing things up. Mouse wanted to have a tea party theme for her birthday, so we pulled out the china tea cups and pots – yup, the real ones, and we made cookie cutter cut out sandwiches, fruit kabobs and mixed up the “pink lemonade tea” to be served in the cups.

We decorated our new pergola on the deck, filled the water table with bubble solution, set up some fruit loop necklace and a flower tea party hat crafts and put out the enormous pepto-bismal pink piñata that Mouse and I made. We were set.

The girls arrived in their tea party best. Mouse was decked out head to toe in polyester Snow White dress up clothes, including gloves, cape, shoes and tiara. They played, they crafted and they sweated and slathered on sunscreen. The temperature started to climb near 90 F.

We moved lunch up a bit and we all gulped down lemonade in real tea cups with not a single cup being sacrificed, whacked the piñata and headed inside for pinkalicious strawberry cupcakes, gifts and block creations with sugar cubes.

And I barely had to clean up at all as my slaves, I mean my mother in law and Hubster’s cousin had everything washed, dried, swept and put away before I could blink. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

After everyone left, and Mouse had played with some of her new things, us “girls” went for a walk, and on said walk, we noticed that our neighbourhood pool was open for the first time. So after much begging from Mouse (and cousin M – hehe) we went. The water was warm but refreshing at the same time. She was nervous getting in, but once she learned that she was TALL enough to touch the bottom, she was giddy with independence! Mouse splashed, giggled, played and swam without any floaties; by herself, underwater and on her back! She surprised even herself, I think.

When I tucked a very tired Mouse into bed on Saturday, she told me that she had just had the very bestest, most wonderful day of her whole life and that being 5 was going to be GREAT.

Happy 5th Birthday, Mouse. I hope 5 is your best year yet!

Transition Phase

2009-05-21T22:08:00.000-04:00

It’s been a long 2 weeks here. Last week, both girls were sick with the stomach bug. ALLLL week. We had a very brief respite over the weekend before we had 103 fevers and coughs arrive this week. Throw in 3 visits to the clinic and a “well visit” with the doctor (ha!) that includes a referral to a growth specialist for our teeny girl and we’ve seen more than our fair share of medical staff lately.

We’re dosed in antibiotics, fluids, and prednisone. The house has been disinfected from top to bottom. And my mother would be proud, I even did the most hated of all jobs – I cleaned the blinds. It’s done and I still hate it.

It’s been an off two weeks for us and Mouse has missed almost all of the last 2 weeks of school. She is a girl who needs time to process and a girl who needs closure. Unfortunately, all of that has been cut short. Tomorrow is her last day of school and fortunately, she will be well enough to go. She will get the chance to say good bye to her teacher and class mates, though I suspect that though she might be ok, next week will bring fall out.

Tomorrow, is also Mouse’s birthday. My first baby will be 5. Officially a big kid. We’re all having mixed feelings about it.

We’ve had a few nights of tears with our little Mouse. On top of being sick and tired and tired of being sick, she’s transitioning in so many ways right now and it’s overwhelming her. She’s finishing her first year of school and is already grieving what “was”. She’s already missing her friends, her teacher and her routine. She’s about to have a big birthday.

Tonight she sobbed when I said “I need to kiss you for the last time that you are 4!”. She said she was going to miss being 4. She wants to be 5, and have the party and the fun but will miss all that being 4 brought. She sobbed “I don’t want to change – I don’t know what’s going to happen”. And I held her and tried not to cry too.

I sooo understand this. I know this exact feeling. I felt it every year as a kid. I would feel like I just started to “get” being whatever age I was and then I’d change. I remember crying on my first day of grade 6, just overwhelmed at the thought of “growing up”. I didn’t feel ready for that, but it came anyway. And for the most part things turned out ok. And I told her this.

She worried tonight about missing me if I went away or died. And we talked about that too. It’s like she’s suddenly 5 and can see her whole life in front of her and it’s always changing, always a bit unstable. And that scares her a bit.

I feel like my role as a mother is changing for her. No longer does she need all of the intensive hands on intervention that Baboo at 2 needs. I give her more space, encourage her independence , push her a little farther out of the nest while shouting “Fly! Fly!”. But it’s hard. A part of me wants to keep her my little baby and never let her go and a part of her wants to stay there too.

So tomorrow, Mouse will be 5. She will celebrate her big day pretty quietly with just us and Hubster’s folks came in to surprise her today. We’ll finish up our school year and get ready for her party on Saturday – a tea party gala with princess-y overtones. It should be fun . She’s excited and I hope it’s a fun way to break into being 5.

And then, next week, we’ll probably have some fall out as we all come crashing back to earth and recover from the crazy last few weeks. I foresee a lot of quiet time, cuddles and one on one. And I’ve cleared my schedule and my mind to do exactly that. I think we’re all going to need it.

BRATS

2009-05-15T14:14:00.002-04:00

I’ve got 2 BRATS. Ha. I’m kidding (most of the time).

Yes, this is another post about poop and puke because we’ve still got it going on. Sporadically, but continuing. It’s been a week now. I’m exhausted. Hubster is exhausted. The girls are exhausted. In fact, Mouse, who I dragged to bed for a “rest” kicking and SCREAMING “I’m NOT tired!” is CRASHED. Down for the count. It took all of 4 minutes for her to fall asleep.

After another particularly bad run last night with Mouse that involved 4 showers in the space of 2 hours, I took her to the doctor today. Of course, she seemed fine when we were there. Perky, silly, snacking hungrily on crackers (her first food since LUNCH yesterday) – typical 5 year old. And her sidekick, a very LOUD obnoxious little sister who kept screaming “I HAS A SMELLY BUTT CWACK” when I tried to talk to the doctor, and bouncing off the walls after being cooped up for 2.5 hours in a small waiting room. Not that I blame her, and she did smell (remnants of the last few days, I think) –but geez! I couldn’t THINK in there. I think I sounded like a moron.

After a short examination and raised eyebrows from the nurses and doctor that smacked of “hypochondriatic mother” as they witnessed my rambunctious, healthy-appearing children and listened to my sweet, lovely 5 year old saying “I feel just fine! My tummy doesn’t hurt”, we were given a stool collection seat, a handful of gloves and papers about the BRAT diet (bananas, rice, applesauce, toast). Both girls were laughing and running out of the office with their chosen treasure chest items and charming all the nurses and staff with their cheerful cuteness, until… we got to the car. And then Mouse just melted. She was visibly exhausted almost as soon as she got into her seat.

I wanted to run back in and say “See?! SEEE!!??? She really IS sick!!”. But I didn’t, because 3 hours in there was MORE than enough for me.

So we’re carrying on with our orders for both kids because they seem to be passing it to one another, and Baboo has also had some issues, albeit to a lesser degree. We're to eliminate all dairy, feed the kids any kind of low fiber carbohydrate they want (I think I’m going to need to go to the store for this) and just take it easy for a few days. Of course, the minute they came home they wanted CANDY! And MILK! And JUICE ! And YOGURT! (no yogurt until Sunday)

Oy. It could be a long weekend.

Anyway, I’m off to get disinfecting and sorting and cleaning – once I summon the strength to get my ass out of the chair. Maybe another Premium Mocha M&M will help me. Ha.

Butterflies

2009-05-13T19:54:00.002-04:00

Mouse has been talking about butterflies the last few weeks; learning about butterflies at school, making butterfly crafts and pictures (toilet paper tube – glitterized – as a chrysalis, coffee filter butterfly stuffed inside), and chasing them in the back yard with nets (to be released immediately).

At school, Mouse’s class has been watching some butterflies hatch from their chrysalises. Every day when we’re on our way to school, she wonders how many will have hatched, how many are left to hatch etc. Their little butterfly cage is the first place she runs to when she gets to class.

In the backyard, she waits so patiently for them to fly by, hoping they’ll be in our yard, or close enough to justify crossing onto the neighbour’s side. She keeps her net at the ready and has learned to hold still and wait for them to come to her.

She’s marveled at the butterfly exhibit at our local zoo – we all did. What beautiful creatures.

We’re heading into the last few DAYS of school. Mouse’s first YEAR of school is almost over and yet it seems as though it’s just started. It’s been a very busy and wonderful year for us. Truly, this school has been a true blessing in our lives. We’ve found a safe haven, awesome friends, an educational model we believe in and get to be a party of, and here I’ve watched Mouse blossom. Despite being the tiniest in her class by about 4 inches, she walked into that room completely uninhibited, but not pompous. She made friends immediately. She plays with anyone and everyone. She’s kind, fair, smart, independent, competent, strong, a good listener and working at cleaning up.

We recently received our last newsletter for the school year, and it wasn’t until it arrived in my inbox that I realized how close to the end of the year we are; and how much things will change for next year. My heart hurt a little bit thinking of how much I will miss this regular contact over the summer. The end of this year starts a new phase for us; a change, an emergence.

I read the farewell letter from our wonderful president, the various thank you notes to all the people who have worked so hard this year, but when I read what Mouse’s teacher wrote about her, I cried. She captured her so perfectly. Here was a woman who knew my daughter well. And our time with her was ending. I feel grateful for Mouse that she had this teacher as her first exposure to school, and so sad that our time with her is ending.

Like the butterflies in her classroom, Mouse and her classmates seem to be doing the same. Emerging from their chrysalises; changing into fascinating creatures before our eyes. They’ve grown and matured, especially in these last few weeks. They’re all moving beyond being “little kids” and it’s incredible to watch.

I’m witnessing Mouse come out of her beautiful chrysalis, and she’s so stunningly amazing that she takes my breath away. Her face is losing what was left of her little girl cheeks, her legs are stretching; she’s showing more maturity and responsibility.

The reality of this change leaves me feeling winded. I’m so proud of her and at the same time, so sad to see the baby years gone. Really gone. I know that this summer will be the last summer when we have free days to ourselves; our already busy life is going to get busier but in a different way. It’s good, but its change and all those years that seemed like they would last forever are ending.

And again, Mouse’s teacher; a wonderful woman shared this quote with us:
“With young children the days are long and the years are short.”

A truer statement, I cannot find right now.

I’m excited for next year – Kindergarten for Mouse and preschool for Baboo. But I’m struggling with processing the transition. I’ve got quietly high hopes for this summer – enjoying our days together, exploring, relaxing, playing, and visiting with friends/family. I hope that it can be the chrysalis I want it to be, a safe cocoon for us to grow and change in; to give us time to emerge as butterflies ready for the next phase in the fall.

This is What You Do...

2009-05-13T19:00:00.004-04:00

When it’s raining cats and dogs, everyone’s way over tired because you’ve been up all night with sick kids - - AGAIN and going a bit squirrely from too much tv and too much time indoors…

I think MY stubby little toes will need a bit of touch up (Mouse did my nails) before I don any sandals, but it sure perked us all up.

Happy Mother's Day with a Side of Jello

2009-05-11T12:25:00.000-04:00

It’s 1:45 am. Yes, A.M. We’re ALL awake. Both girls have caught some kind of stomach bug and well, we’re just waiting for it to hit Hubster and I. I don’t know if I’m just feeling a bit ill from the smell/clean up or actually getting sick. It doesn’t matter, it sucks.

So, um yeah. This is the one time where I can say I’m glad Nick Jr plays all night, though I’ve certainly had my fill of preschool cartoons. I’m not quite fluent in Chinese or Spanish courtesy of Kai-lan or Dora, but I imagine I could be soon.

It’s not too often I can say I made Jell-O at 1 in the morning. In fact, I can say until today, I’ve never made it at this time of the day, but having had a bug similar to this rip though our house a few years ago, I kind of know what to expect.

I’ve done 2 extra loads of wash tonight, on top of the 4 I already did today. The girls are outfitted with appropriately sized bowls for their heads and Hubster has already booked the day tomorrow because even if he doesn’t get sick, going to work on about 2 hours sleep isn’t going to do anyone any favours.

And I’ll tell you now, it’ll be a llloooonnnnggg time before I eat hotdogs. A very long time.

Not really the best end to what has been a very nice Mother’s Day weekend. And we really did have a nice time. Friday, Mouse’s school had a “Mother’s Day Tea” which consisted of milk, water, chocolate chip muffins (which the kids made) and fruit salad. They sang us a little song (which made every single Mom cry) and then brought us our snacks, little potted flower in hand painted pots and handmade cards. All while we sat on preschool sized chairs with our knees by our shoulders. And I wouldn’t trade a minute.

Saturday I got to go and do some shopping – and despite shopping for bras (I actually went to VC, more later), pants and a bathing suit, I still came home with my very fragile self esteem mostly in-tact as well as some clothes for this summer. Yesterday (Sunday), I did get to sleep in until 7:22, though I was actually awake by then. Then I sneezed and that was the catalyst for the onslaught. I’m kidding. The girls came in with hugs and kisses and Happy Mufver’s Day’s. Priceless. And pretty handmade cards, and gardening gloves and an iTunes card.

Then Mouse suggested that if we got dressed RIGHT NOW, IHOP wouldn’t be busy and we could go out for breakfast. One smart cookie, let me tell ya. So, we did. We got dressed and left the house by 8 and had a perfectly lovely breakfast, with a free carnation and we smiled and said “Happy Mother’s Day” to the other Mom’s in the restaurant.

We ran a few errands then spent the rest of the day finishing up the yard and just hanging out outside. The planting is done, things are put away and it looks really nice. It was a very productive day, not exactly the relaxing time that the stereotypical Mother’s Day is supposed to be, but it was still a great day.

I remember when I was still pregnant with Mouse, and hugely so as I was in my last 2 weeks, I was out for a walk on Mother’s day when someone drove by in a car and yelled something at me that, at first, I didn’t fully hear. I thought it was something mean, but after my brain unscrambled it, I realized that someone had called out “Happy Mother’s Day” to me as they drove by. I was so surprised, initially because someone had said something kind, but then I was floored by the reality that I would soon be joining that group called “MOTHERS”. It all seemed so huge and overwhelming.

I also remember my Hubster and I picking up his daughter one Mother’s day, years and years ago, to take her to lunch with Hubster’s Mom. When she got in the car, she gave me a flower. Truly confused, I asked “What is this for?”. And she just laughed and said “Because you’re my step-Mother, silly! Happy Mother’s day!”. Talk about a humbling moment of reality. I think that was the first time I really thought of myself as a “parent” to her.

I know a lot of really wonderful Mothers’, my own and Hubsters’ Mom included. I’ve officially been a Mother for almost 5 years now and I know there is no way I could have done it on my own. I truly appreciate all that I learn through the other Mom’s I meet. I think of us all being an endless resource to each other. Thank you for all you do and all you share.

I hope you all had a wonderful Mother’s day.

*Update: Mouse had a really bad night with us almost going to the ER in case of dehydration first thing this morning, but she’s come around and is holding down some liquid, Jell-O and crackers. Baboo has fared pretty well, and despite throwing up in the car on the way back from Walmart this morning for an emergency run for Pedialyte, is back to her normal perky self. Hubster and I have only had about 3 hours sleep so we’re dragging around today and hoping for naps all around later today. Fortunately we have managed to avoid any sickness. So far. (crossing all bendy parts)

No, Really. I'm NOT Dead!

2009-05-09T06:44:00.002-04:00

Hey, guess what!? I’m not really dead… I’m only MOSTLY dead.
Just kidding.

I know I’ve been MIA for over a week - ok, ok, 2 weeks. But well, since so few people read here and most know that I was busy, I’m not worrying too much. You know where I was. You know I was slogging around in the mud and RAIN when my folks were here last week. We were working on our gardens, which around here, is also known as mud slinging because it rained pretty much all week. Nasty.

And we’ve been working on the first stages of our “backyard oasis” which involves a pergola and a clothesline. It seems like a bizarre combination, but it makes me happy. We got to do our pergola in gusty wind. Now THAT was fuu-unn.

And you also know that I’ve been up to my eyeballs in just STUFF - kids, school, clutter, playdates, committees, meetings. And if you didn’t know that, well, now you do.

However, the focus these past 2 weeks has been the garden. I had a garden in Eastcoatsville. My whole front yard, which was about the size of a postage stamp, was a garden (and that's allll the yard we had), and my folks also helped me with that garden as well. It was fabulous before we moved. It was all I could do not to dig up some of my favourites and bring them with me across 3 states. I still mourn my hydrangea. I loved that plant.

However, despite having, what by comparison seems like a football field of yard, we got a great start on the new garden and I’m excited to see how things fill in this year. I bought a NEW hydrangea, and am attempting clematis again. I hope I don’t kill it. We built some garden boxes in the back and have a fun kids garden and my herb garden. Finally!

And I definitely need to say a HUGE thank you to my parents who went above and beyond AGAIN for me. They built the boxes, painted, helped me to decide on plants, shared their "planty" wisdom, carried soil, slogged endlessly in the clay/mud/rain, dug through rampant hostas, clay and 9 thousand layers of landscape cloth, hauled all manner of crap to our back yard. And held up pergola posts in gale force winds. And watched the kids and did the dishes. And did not freak out when I had one of my over tired, guilt ridden break downs when I kind of freaked out about asking/needing so much help.

Thank you a thousand times for everything you do for me/us.

What I’ve Learned This Year:

* I love hostas. Love them. Despite the fact that they grow like weeds, I love them. My front garden was totally hostas. I loved them, but well, I needed more variety. I couldn’t BEAR to part with any of them, so after we dug them up, we planted them all over the yard.

* I also am aware that I’ve just spread my slug problem all over the yard, as slugs seem to love hostas almost as much as I do. Except, um, I don't really want to eat them.

* The nasty, twiggy shrubs by my front windows were azaleas. Never would have guessed. They were being choked out by the periwinkle. So, we dug those up too, twigs sprouting a few sad, pink flowers and leaves and move them too. I’m willing to give them a second chance.

* The other twiggy type shrub by the garage is a beautiful lilac! I was so going to dig that sucker up and toss it because last year it was just nasty, but well, every time I walk out my front door I get wafts of lilac scent and I just can’t bear to get rid of it. It’s just too pretty. It's redeemed itself, so, it gets to stay.

* As a result of digging things up, I got a whole side garden from the leftover lilies, hostas and azaleas. Whohoo.

* Most of our yard, under the grass is clay.

* In general, sod is heavy, but even heavier when covered in clay.

* Wet clay stuck to your shoes (and pants/hands/hair) makes you feel like Frankenstein.

* Wet clay is really, really hard to get off.

* Kids covered in wet clay who then roll in sand are almost impossible to get clean without scraping off a layer of skin.

Anyway, I’m attempting to get back into the groove here, or maybe I’m attempting to FIND a groove as I can’t ever seem to get into one. I feel like I keep popping my head outside to check in on all my little plants in between all that other every day life stuff.

But stay tuned for: the Mother's Day recap, shopping for shirts when you're short waisted during a long shirt trend, Mouse - the birthday prep, and the end of the school year wind down.

I know, you can hardly wait, right? Oh yeah. (bwahahaha!)

They're Supposed to be KIDS Clothes!

2009-04-23T08:52:00.000-04:00

After the great kids’ clothing spring fling the other day, I’ve inventoried what the girls need for the summer. Baboo is set for almost forever. Ha. Mouse needs just about everything, because she’s GROWN. This will be the first summer that she hasn’t been able to wear everything she owns 2 summers in a row.

So I’ve been doing some shopping. I’ve managed to find a few cute shirts and dresses and even a new rain coat (on sale!). This is the 2nd rain coat she’s ever owned. Her first one she got when was 2. Yes, 2. She’s going to be 5 and can still wear an, albeit somewhat larger, 18m rain coat.

But not anymore!

However…. Shorts. First, what is UP with the nasty, ugly prints this year?? Seriously tacky, for my tastes, anyway. And secondly, when I was at Target yesterday, thinking I would totally score on shorts, because, I mean… its’ TARGET. I was a bit shocked to see that they were SHORT shorts. Indecently short shorts. And ALL of them were like that. I have a huge problem when picturing my CHILDREN running around with their butt cheeks hanging out the bottom of their shorts.

I think I muttered something within hearing distance of an employee, saying “this is indecent for little girls”.

And I looked around and realized that there is very little I actually a) like or b) think is appropriate. And it wasn’t just Target with that kind of thing. After hunting around, I found that almost all the stores seem to be carrying more and more clothing for younger and younger girls that is just too mature.

And then I felt like a prude. But an adamant old prude. Mouse is going to be 5. To me, that’s still a little kid. Yes, she’s smart and capable and even a bit too sassy for my patience some times, but she’s young. And innocent. I would like to keep her that way for a little while. Let her be a little kid for a while longer.

So, I say NO to the short shorts. No to the too revealing bathing suits (good grief! Strings sides on a toddler bikini?? Give me a break!). No to the deep V neck, halter neck tops. No to anything that, to my eyes, is just inappropriate.

Meet Mabel

2009-04-19T09:35:00.004-04:00

The duck saga continues.

Friday afternoon we were outside enjoying the 70+ degree sunny weather when Mama duck walked right up to us, and helped herself to half of Baboo’s popsicle. This naturally, resulted in a huge, indignant outburst. Not unexpectedly, of course… we are talking about POPSICLES people!

After, staring in amazement at a duck eating a popsicle, I got Baboo a new one and brought out a couple of crusts of bread. The duck, now known as Mabel, ate right out of our hands. And then proceeded to hop on the deck and poop on it. Classy.

Her mate, known as Earl, watched noisily from the neighbor’s roof top. Hilarious.

Yesterday, the girls and I were puttering around in the house, getting ready to go and play outside, when we saw a brown, ducky head poke over the base of the screen door and look into the house. Mabel came to call, looking for a handout, apparently. So, we grabbed another crust of bread and fed her on the deck. She hung around for a while, took a little rest under the slide, until the neighbor kids caught site of her, and then she vanished.

But, she came back last evening as I was cleaning up the deck. She followed me around, quacking softly. I told her to help herself to the slugs in the yard.

Hubster’s not as thrilled so thrilled with this. But me, well, I don’t really mind having a duck following me around the yard. Must be the country girl coming out.

Spring Fling

2009-04-19T09:17:00.000-04:00

Wow, I just looked at the date and I can’t believe that April is almost over. Didn’t this month just start? It’s been a very busy month, with the last 10 days of this month being just as busy. And well, most of May is already spoken for also.

They always say that time passes faster as we age and well, I can certainly attest to that being true. Or so it seems. I must be 100 because time is flying by so fast.

Anyway, yesterday was our typical fallout day after guests leave. A day of short tempers, tantrums and just general laziness. Hubster’s aunt (and a middle name sake for Baboo) and her husband came to visit us for a few days this week and they left yesterday. We had a wonderful, fun visit, but Baboo was sick and we had a few rough nights so we were tired. Hubster is on a course all weekend so it’s just the girls and I. Yesterday, after sending off Hubster’s aunt the girls and I took our time getting the day started. We stayed in our jammies for a long time.

I was trying to get breakfast for the girls and realized the fridge was a mess, so I cleaned it out. And then I moved onto the freezer, and then the pantry…. And then I got the cleaning bug in me. When we went upstairs to get dressed, I decided it was time to check the girls clothes for summer and move some things around. And so began the “Spring Fling”, that time of the year when I start “flinging” things out. Mouse loves to try on clothes, so she was more than happy to try on anything I threw at her from the closet. She’s FINALLY starting to grow, so a few things I’d held over are not going to fit, but that’s ok. Baboo on the other hand isn’t so thrilled with trying things on and her not feeling well on top of everything else, made for a bit of a frustrating time of sorting. I had to hold a few things up as she ran by and kind of “eyeball” if it would fit or not. I definitely think she’s either bigger or built differently because Mouse stayed in 18 month clothes until she was, well, almost 3, but Baboo is solidly in a 2T. I was holding onto a few cute things, but they definitely will not fit Baboo this summer. Sigh.

However, I have a huge pile of clothes and some baby gear in my hallway that’s on its’ way out the door.

Then, I hit my very pathetic kitchen linens. I got rid of some placemats and table clothes that I haven’t use in years because well, I don’t like them. So I’ve freed up most of a cabinet.
It was a big thing for me to admit and actually say “I don’t LIKE this”. It made me realize something about myself this weekend. I’m a bit jealous of people who KNOW what they like; especially when it comes to house décor. I’m referring to people who have a defined “style” – country, modern, Tuscan, traditional, Victorian, etc. It’s gotta be easier! Me…. I don’t discount anything. I feel like I have to consider ALL possibilities and there’s very little I definitely “don’t” like. There are also very few colours that I don’t like. I know that not all colours work in my house, but it always seems like a long process to FIND the right combination. In almost any “style” I like elements of them. I’m never really sure what “feel” I want things to have, especially in my house.

I said the other day that I feel like I need to have a city house and a country house. A city house that I can have kind of contemporary with an urban feel – clean lines, stainless steel, bright splashes of colour, almost like a loft kind of thing. And then a country house, with some land around me that I can have as a soft, gardeny, English cottage kind of feel. Old, worn, traditional shaped furniture, old antiques, crockery dishes, soft colours.

Hubster’s aunt said she really liked the way I’ve “decorated”. Hmmm… I haven’t done much “decorating”. Our bedroom is really the only room that is “done”, and it just sort of “happened”. I had some framed prints that didn’t work in family room, which is where they were in our old house, and so they ended up in our bedroom… where the colours really worked. After some searching around with my Mum, we found bedding, towels etc and it all just came together. It’s kind of contemporary with a bit of a traditional feel as there are cornice boards over the windows and we have a bit of wooden traditional style furniture. We worked as much with what we already had, because well, we have to; we’re on a limited budget. I really like the way it turned out, but I’m not sure what “feel” I want for the rest of the house.

The girls rooms were also pretty easy. Girly, pink/green/purple – flowers and butterflies. They’re little. I didn’t really go all out. It’s cute and pretty and fun.

The main floor colours are basically what were here. I feel like we’re kind of living with them. I like them – I think. They’re pretty neutral – but so is our furniture. A bit bland, really. I’m trying to find the colour and feel I want for down here, but it’s hard; especially when you have very little money to spend on it.

Our furniture is very, very small scale for this house. We will eventually replace it, when we figure out what “style” we want. And colour. There are a few upgrades that I want to make in the kitchen, which has a bit of a Tuscan feel with the yellow walls and dark bronze light fixtures. And while I don’t think I hate that, I don’t’ think I really “like” it either. This house doesn’t really give the feel of a “country cottage”, so I guess it’s more traditional/contemporary. Does that even make sense?

Actually, just sitting here, I think I just saw in my head how I’d do the kitchen, eating area. Now if only I can convince my friend to pass on her dining room light fixture to me and oh, and find a bit of money to replace my countertops. Hmmm…. It might take me a while to get it all together, but I think it’s going to work. Eventually.

So what I also think I’ve just realized is that it’s ok to say I don’t like something and its’ ok for me to want to change what’s “here” because it’s not my “style”. Usually I feel like I can’t really replace things unless there is something ‘wrong’ with it; as in, physically broken or needing repair. So, maybe I’m getting a bit closer to knowing what I like.

And now I’m rambling, so I’ll shut up.

So, today I’m going to tackle the linen closet and maybe the baking drawer. Watch out for flying stuff!

Smelly

2009-04-17T15:31:00.000-04:00

I’ve recently noticed that I’m a very “smelly” person. (And Hubster’s head just exploded as he thinks of all the things he could say in response to that statement).

Not to say I never smell bad, I mean, come on, I’m only human… but what I mean is that I’m very sensitive to smell. I think I always have been. It used to get me into trouble. As a kid, I smelled things very obviously, much to the embarrassment and frustration of my parents. Yup. It made them nuts. But I really couldn’t help it. As I got older, I learned how to notice smells without sticking my head into my dinner.

I recently bought a bar of Cetaphil soap. As I unwrapped the package, I noticed that I smelled like the lotion my grandmother used to use – Nivea. I didn’t really like the feel of her lotion, but I loved the smell of it. Every time I walk into my bathroom right now, I’m reminded of her.

Smells are very important in my memory. My mother used to use Oil of Olay face lotion (I used to joke and call it oil of Old-age). That’s a smell I always associate with her and my childhood. I still remember the smell of the laundry at my grandmother’s house. It always smelled like fresh air and sunshine. I wanted to bury myself in her blankets when I visited and just absorb all the smell I could.

I can still remember the exact smell of the apartment we lived in when we moved North to be with my stepdad when I was 8.

I love the smell of toast and of coffee. I used to love the smell of the top of my dogs head, now I love the smell of the girl’s heads. I loved the cologne my husband used to wear when we were dating. I love the smell of laundry that’s been dried outside. I love the smell of my house when the windows have been opened with a breeze running through the house. I love the smell of roasted chicken. I love the smell of my linen closet. I love to smell herbs. I love the crisp smell of snow in the air. I used to love the smell of the blanket I carried around as a kid. I love the smell of marshmallows and that first scent when onions start cooking in a pan. I love the smell of curry powder. And of clothes washed in Ivory detergent.

I hate the smell of popcorn, especially microwave popcorn, cheap alfreado sauce or cheap parmesan cheese, ramen noodles, boxed mac and cheese sauce, the pavement after it rains (that smell makes me feel like I can’t get my breath). I hate the smell of lilies. I also hate the residual smell in the house of bacon after it’s been cooked. And the smell of cigarette smoke and anything musty disgusts me. I have a hard time with the smell of tea with milk in it. (why I have no idea). I hate the smell of milk.

I remember when we were selling our house in Eastcoastville and had a showing. We’d gone out for ice cream to get out of the house and when we came back and walked into the house, it smelled ALL WRONG. I could smell the people who had been in there. I hated that I could smell them and opened windows/doors to air the house out. It felt wrong and actually, these people tried to buy the house and the sale fell through multiple times and caused us much stress last summer. I wonder if in hindsight, I knew this. (I had my reservations about that transaction, but we proceeded anyway).

I HATED the smell of the temporary house we had last summer. It made me feel like a caged animal. It was musty and dank and just was just wrong, wrong, wrong. We really didn’t have a good experience living there.

I think my sense of smell is helpful. I think it helps to make me a better cook, and it helps me to know when I’m sick or my kids are sick. It helps me find problem spots in the house – like where the cat was peeing (gross, but true). I know my kids by smell – good and bad – any time.

It’s not so helpful when I’m pregnant. Ugh. And annoying when I’m in a situation where I can’t get away from a smell.

Good or bad (don’t worry , I’m not going to go around smelling you and judging you – but I will laugh if you start sniffing your armpits) I’m curious about the way things smell. It must be some left over feral instinct or something.

I know that Mouse, to a degree has inherited this. I remember the first time she came up to me, grabbed my hand and sniffed my arm. She took a deep breath and said “You smell good. Like Mommy”. I totally identified with her in that moment.

We had been out somewhere the other day and when we walked into the house, the scent of our house wafted over me and I thought “Ah, the smell of my house. It smells like home. And I love it”. I think it took a while for this to feel like OUR “home” to me, but now it smells just right.

Just Ducky, Take 2

2009-04-16T09:21:00.002-04:00

Who said there isn't any wild life in the 'burbs?

The ducks came back yesterday, our usual pair. And then another male came along and they were, uh, playing tag... yeah, that's it. Good grief. X-rated duck action in the back yard for all the kiddies to see. I thought this family was G-rated!

And then, last night at dinner, a whole bunch of males came back and strutted around the yard while we ate dinner. Or rather, I should say that Hubster and I ate dinner, the girls, shovelled their food onto the floor trying to wrench their heads around to the window to watch the ever-fascinating ducks.

Just Ducky

2009-04-15T12:34:00.004-04:00

This was the scene from my kitchen window yesterday:

You know you’ve had a lot of rain when ducks start hanging out in your yard. Granted, we have a bird feeder and they parked their waddly little behinds under that for a while, before nibbling on some grass and then having a drink from our pool – I mean, pond, I mean huge puddle of floating muddy mulch at the bottom of the slide. I can see the allure of our yard from a duck’s point of view.

And it was a huge delight for the kids. Baboo squealed for at least an hour when she wasn’t quacking, that is.

Now, I wonder if I can invite them back in a few weeks for the all you can eat slug buffet? Hmmmm.

E. Bunny Hops on Through

2009-04-13T09:46:00.001-04:00

Mr. Bunny made his visit yesterday morning, leaving behind his cute eggs, instead of other…. um, bunny leavings. Thankfully. The girls were ecstatic, running around collecting little plastic eggs filled with treats and other goodies. Baboo dragged her basket all over the house, and after each egg she found she said “Tank-um” (which is her slang version of thank you). The hunt took all of 6.3 minutes. Oh well. Next year, E. Bunny will make it a bit harder.

We did do a hunt outside after breakfast as well. MRS Bunny (aka ME) was up at 6, crunching around in my pajamas on the frosty grass to hide the dyed eggs in the back yard, after about 3.5 hours of sleep because of a sick little Baboo. I was just falling back to sleep when Mouse came in at 6:45 to announce VERY LOUDLY that the Easter Bunny had been in her room and left a new basket AND EGGS!

All very exciting. And yes we acted very surprised.

I managed to convince her to lay down with me for about 45 minutes to allow Baboo to sleep a bit longer, but then her anxious, excited wiggling drove us out of bed.

All in all we had a good day. It was quiet for us and involved some yard work, but also included much digging up of dirt (to add some mulch under the slide/swings) and highly successful worm hunting. That makes it a good day at our house.

I have to say how much I enjoy being on the giving end of holidays. I know how excited I used to be when I was a kid, waiting for the magic of Christmas, Easter etc… and I love being able to recreate that for our girls.

To commemorate the day, Mouse made a little book called “Mouse’s Egg Adventure”. She drew a bunch of pictures showing where the eggs were hidden –real and imaginary – including the play structure in the back yard WITH the big mud puddle at the bottom of the slide, and an imaginary “pretty, princess tree”. She signed her name to each page (this cracks me up) and asked me to narrate her story by describing the picture on each page. “Egg under a chair. Egg under the slide. Egg under the pretty princess tree”. She read it to us at bed time. This is beyond precious to me and will put this away in her momentos. It’s just so cute.

Baboo had been sick on Saturday, having a fever and an infected vaccination site on her leg which involved a trip to the local clinic, and now 10 days of antibiotics 4 times a day. Oy. She’s much better, he leg looks 100 times better and she is back to her spunky self.

Yesterday was our respite and today Mouse woke up with a fever and croup. Sigh. It’s a crappy, rainy day so we’re hanging out inside, in our jammies, watching waayyy too much tv and likely recreating the ‘GREAT EGG HUNT OF 2009’ several dozen times.

Hope you all had a happy, healthy Easter!

Egg-cellent

2009-04-11T13:19:00.004-04:00

Oh, come on! It’s Easter… surely you expected a cheesy egg-referenced title.

This is what we did yesterday…

I cooked up a few eggs in the afternoon and then Mouse asked me about, oh, 290 times when it would be time to decorate eggs. Finally, after trying to get her to wait for Baboo to get up from her nap, I gave in and let her do some. We did a few with the little wax crayon thing and just dyed some plain. It was fun. And addictive.

Then I felt bad because Baboo didn’t get to do any, and well, I did just buy eggs, so I boiled up some more. And we coloured some more when Baboo got up. It was fun and the girls loved it and they turned out really cute.

According to Mouse, we’re going to leave a note for the Easter Bunny to tell him to hide the beautiful eggs we made OUTSIDE for us to find. This will be the first year that we’ll get to do a hunt outside, provided the weather cooperates. I told her the Easter bunny will take note of that.

And now, I have a dozen brightly coloured eggs, stinking up my fridge. Every time we open the door, we get a waft of sulfur (aka fart) right in the face. Hubster gets nauseas just thinking about going to the fridge. And me, being who I am, can’t bear to just THROW THEM OUT (though it’ll depend on how long they’ll be outside, I guess) because god forbid I waste $0.79 on a dozen eggs. I’ve been trying to think of ways to eat them (egg salad, deviled eggs); and make note that I am the only person who will eat hard boiled eggs in this house, without spiking my already high cholesterol to record heights.

Chicken Ticklin'

2009-04-08T14:00:00.002-04:00

Mouse had a field trip at a local creamery today and siblings were welcome to come. Baboo was so, so excited to see the cows , it’s all she talked about for days. She kept asking when we were going to see “MY cows”. We’re going through a possessive phase.

The farm was in an area I don’t know very well, and despite mapquest AND the damn GPS in the car, we got lost. Several times. I was frustrated and angry and very disappointed that the girls might miss the greatly anticipated trip to the farm.

As I’m swearing up a storm after I get stuck in the wrong lane behind a truck getting onto the interstate going the WRONG direction and I can’t turn around, Baboo kept asking me “What wong Mama? Where MY cows?” and Mouse sighed dejectedly in the back seat. I think I told them to shut up. Not my finest moment, I’m ashamed to say.

Anyway, a kind parent from Mouse’s class and a sweet waitress at Denny’s helped me get there, and apparently there was a road closure on the route that everyone else used, so the tour started late anyway. We didn’t miss much, thankfully.

We’re walking in the spring sunshine on a beautiful farm, feeling the earth getting ready to explode with life; picturing the farmer’s market specialties that will be available in a few weeks, admiring the calves and taking in the scent of hay and animal. There are a bunch of free range chickens running around (I’m in some kind of chicken heaven, I love chickens) the farm as they have a coop as well, and Baboo keeps trying to catch them. Some of them get close enough for her to touch and she just roars with laughter, which is a bit disruptive to the tour. I took her aside to tell her that she can’t touch the chickens; that they need to just walk around and eat bugs.

She turns to me, very seriously and says “Mama. I don’t want to touch the chickens, I want to tickle them”.

I tried to tell her that chickens don't really want to be tickled, but well, I had a hard time actually saying that because I was too busy cracking up, along with a few other parents around me. Oh well.

Swinging

2009-04-08T08:08:00.001-04:00

Mouse has been doggedly working at her independence lately, with a large focus on swinging. She love, love, loves to swing. As a baby, she was happiest in the swing. I almost didn’t buy one because I was sold on the “attachment criticism” of them being “neglect-o-matics”. However, when I learned that I really couldn’t carry her for 23 hours a day without one of us getting hurt, sling or no sling, we broke down and agreed to a swing.

Mouse loved it. She spent a lot of time in it. It was really the only place she would nap and it gave me my 2 hands for a short while in a day. I was paranoid about leaving her in there too long, and so kept checking on her and wringing my hands with worry, but in hindsight, I’m grateful we had it. Swinging has always soothed and calmed her.

When she was old enough to go to the park, she wanted to be in the swing. The whole time. And so we’d go to the park and swing. I spent a lot of time standing at the swing, singing songs, counting, and eventually meeting other swing Mom’s.

After about 4 years of constant pushing on the swing, we made a concerted effort to teach Mouse to pump her legs to swing by herself, especially once we moved to our current house that has a swing set in the back yard. She was so excited to have her own swing that she could play on any time she wanted, but she really didn’t have the coordination/momentum of pumping. When she started school, a few of the kids in her class could pump and get REALLY high. She wanted that so badly… and eventually, it just clicked for her. I remember the day I went out in the back yard to help her swing and lifted her up on to the seat. I pushed her a few times and then she started pumping and making herself go higher. She was just as surprised as I was as she laughed, yelling loudly “MOM! Look at me! I’m doing it! I’m PUMPING!!! Look how HIGH I’m going!”.

Then, learning how to pump just wasn’t enough. She wanted to figure out how to get on the swing by herself (they’re a bit high for her). She worked at it until she could hang onto the chains and hop up on her own. And then she learned how to use momentum to get herself going – entirely by herself. With each achievement, she yelled loudly for all of the surrounding neighbors to hear “MOM! I DID IT MYSELF!!”, followed by a triumphant, gleeful laugh.

Swinging still calms her and when she’s bored or needs to process something, she goes and swings. The swing is almost always the first thing she wants to do at a park or when we’re in the backyard. But right now, I think it’s more than just the act of swinging that’s so enticing. It’s the feelings of pride, independence and freedom that she gets when she asks to go outside and swing. She can go out there on her own, get on the swing on her own, get started on her own, swing as high as she possibly can and know that she’s got the power to do it.

I watch her bright smile under her flying hair shining golden in the sunshine, with a mixture of pride and nostalgia. In the strong, young girl she’s becoming, I see in the little baby nestled into her baby swing, sleeping peacefully.

My stomach clenches every time I watch her body hop out of the seat a bit as she reaches the top of the swing; worried that she might be swinging too high; that she might fall. My heart stops a little each time as I picture my little girl, growing up, swinging through life, soaring to new heights, right before my eyes; all the while praying she doesn’t fall.

Potty Training Casualties

2009-04-06T20:21:00.002-04:00

So, the update on Baboo’s potty training progress is mostly positive. Despite today being not such a great day, ok, the worst day so far with regards to accidents, overall, she’s doing pretty well. We do have some accidents and we do have to remind her to go, but overall, she seems able to hold it longer and will initiate going on her own most of the time. She’s really only in pull ups at nap time or if I know she’s really really tired during the day and know that our accident probability increases. She’s in a diaper over night, but only because we’ve got them and want to use them up.

I was in cleaning out mode while we were on spring “break” and have put a few of Baboo's things away. I’m not overly sad to see the change pad go as we haven’t used it in a while and it’s looking old and tired. I have put away the cloth diapers for now, but will likely switch over to those for night time once coverage once we’re finished with this round of disposables. I’ve also put away the diaper pails and I’m definitely glad not to have those out. Though, I know we’ll need one back eventually if we switch back to cloth at night.

Baboo’s crib has been converted to a toddler bed and so the bumper pad is away. I know that it will only be a matter of time before she won’t need the rocking chair in her room any more either. (ok, this makes me a bit sad).

The things that I’m very sad to see go are the overalls. Sigh. I love little kids in overalls. I’ve been fortunate to have had some really cute ones. And though my dryer seems to want to eat them (we’ve had to repair a few straps because the dryer just destroys them), they were my favorite clothing choice for the girls. I loved them as a kid and they were my FAVORITE thing to wear. Always. I called them Farmer Joes. My girls loved them too. But well, despite their cuteness factor, they are not practical for potty training. Buckles and bibs and straps. They’re just too complicated for little hands and tiny bladders. Sigh.

And so, with a sad heart, I bid good bye to the overalls. Sniff.

Exploring My Level of Overstimulation

2009-04-05T20:56:00.002-04:00

This past week was spring “break” for us. I use the term loosely because it had not been very “breakish”. We’ve been very busy all week. Not that that is a bad thing, but we are very tired. We ended up having something to do just about every day, doctor’s appointments, play dates, trips to local attractions – you name it.

For the first time, I bit the bullet and took the girls to meet some friends at Chuck E Cheese. The one and only other time I’d been in one was when I was about 11. I was away on a soccer tournament and my billet (do people still do this??) hosts took us there. It was dark, smelled bad, the food was nasty and the everything had a sticky slime on it. Disgusting.

So, I reluctantly agreed to go this week. A friend and her kids wanted us to join them, and so we did. It was bright, generally clean and over all ok. Not as grungy and nasty as that time 20-something years ago. The food was below mediocre, but disturbingly, the girls ate it. I’m hoping it was just that they were hungry and therefore would eat poop on a stick if it was all that was offered, but not because it really was their preference. The girls seemed to enjoy the games and rides and loved that they could do most of it themselves. Overall we had a pretty good time. I won’t be rushing back, because really, this isn't my thing, but it was ok.

I did notice, not unexpectedly, was that the girls were wired by the time we left. There was a huge change in their behavior - more whining than normal, a wild look in their eyes and verging on meltdowns, so naturally, I suspected that they were over stimulated. What surprised me was just how easily *I* am over stimulated.

Well, I guess most people get over stimulated in a noisy bright place like CEC, but well, for me, I was over my limit after about 11 minutes. I got a head ache, cranky, panicky, and just wanted OUT OF THERE. The noise of the stupid mouse thing badly lipsyncing 80’s pop songs clashing with the noise from the games, rides and all the kids was just too much for me. And then, checking out with the ridiculous tickets to choose a bunch of crapola?! Good grief! What a pain in the ass. I wish that my girls weren’t told that you could turn in your tickets for stuff. I would have just ditched the tickets and left.

I spent the rest of the day recuperating from that experience. I felt like every nerve had been jangled and any noise (which is hard to avoid with a 5 and 2 year old) was like a jack hammer on my system.A nap and some alone time was out of the question, so the end result was that I was short tempered and cranky. Not fun.

I was surprised to learn just how sensitive I am to this. I knew that crowds and enclosed spaces (like museums with lots of people) bothered me, but I seriously did not know how strongly this affected me.

Fortunately, the girls seemed to recover pretty easily, but I’ll definitely think twice before doing this again.

Spring Cleaning The Toys

2009-03-30T12:43:00.003-04:00

Oy. I suppose this should be under a Trouble Spot Tuesday, but well, I’m not sure how I’m going to deal with this yet.

Spring always brings out my inner clean freak. It makes me want to move furniture, wipe baseboards and well, clean out every nook and cranny. And yeah, maybe throw out ½ of the house. All of a sudden, all the accumulated crap just suffocates me.

I have no problem with clothes. I personally do not have a lot of clothes, nor does Hubster. And I’m good about moving those along. The girls – well, we’ve recently come into a HUGE amount of hand me downs. Which is great! I’m not complaining. Mouse is “just” about out of 3T, but some still fits for now. And Baboo is “just” about out of 18 m, but some still fits now. So we have way more clothes than we really need and are on the cusp of a season change as well. The nice thing is that Baboo will inherit a lot of Mouse’s stuff in time, and while I don’t keep EVERYTHING, I do keep most of it. It’s a lot to store and kind of a pain. But it bothers me more to have to buy it all again. So, I can deal with clothes, generally.

The hard, hard part for me is toys. Sigh. My kids really don’t play with a lot of toys. Yes, we do have a lot of toys – not as many as some people, but a lot. Before we moved, we had a tiny little house and all the toys were in our living area. Overall it worked, but it bugged me that we always had toys all over the living room.

So, when we bought this house, we designated a whole room for the toys. It’s big, it’s bright, it’s fun … and they rarely play there. We have a space down here as well, that I set up for the days when I teach Pilates, and they do play with some of the stuff there, but not very often.

They have a play kitchen, but don’t often play with it. They have blocks, but don’t often play with it. They have a bin of baby dolls and accessories, but almost never play with those. They have puzzles, but again… rarely play with them. We have Little People stuff – a house, bus etc… and again, they rarely play with it.

So what do they play with? Baboo plays with a beautiful Victorian doll house my Mum made. But she’s not very gentle with it. Mouse plays dress up with her dress up clothes and a lot with her regular clothes. They jump on the couch, sometimes ride bikes, run around, color, play outside.

I feel like I barely know my kids toy preferences. What’s a bit frustrating is that if I see Baboo is interested in something, we may get it for her (occasionally) or she gets something for a gift. Mouse will INSIST on having the exact same thing… which has happened a few times… and then she never touches it again. It’s like she just wants it to have it to say she has one, and to protect it, but won’t use it. That kind of thing makes me crazy.

Mouse will play with something if “I” sit and play with her. She will not often go and play by herself. Baboo will go and play with just about anything, especially on her own, but doesn’t seem to have a big preference.

Right now, they’re playing on the couch – “rescue” something-or-other… with pillows a blanket and some weird octopus thing from McDonald’s (that will eventually end up in the trash – in about a week or so).

Mouse loves electronic games – computer (and she’s good!), L-MAX, playing outside, acting out animals etc. She wants to do what I’m doing, be where I am and be entertained by any other adult around. She likes to be silly and jump on the bed and make noises and hide under covers and “rescue” things. She’s obessed with princess dress up clothes, and will play with them, but again, I think she just prefers “collecting” them, versus actually pretending to be a princess. She loves to draw and paint and do crafts, but can’t just make them to make them. She MUST GIVE them to someone. I’m generally the recipient. I’ve got a huge collection. (sigh).

Baboo goes along with just about anything Mouse is doing. She loves to run around but will sit and look at books or will play with blocks or little people and things like that. If left alone, she will go and cook up something in the play kitchen, but often gets distracted by big sister. She also loves to do just about anything I’m doing. She also loves anything electronic – computers, L-MAX, anything with buttons. And what’s scary is that she’s good at them.

But… my dilemma is that Baboo plays more than Mouse does with toys in general, so I’m hesitant to get rid of much until she’s a bit older and grows out of them. But, it kind of burns my butt that it’s just sitting there. I’m passing on the baby toys, and a bunch of other junky stuff.

I’m trying to decide what to do. And I’m so, so hesitant to buy anything new. Gift giving occasions are torture for me. I’m so rarely sure of what they’ll like and just getting gifts to have them makes me crazy, especially when I’m pretty sure they’re not going to use them.

I feel like I don’t really “know” my kids. I feel a bit like they are outside the norm. I also feel very “needed” for their entertainment at times, which can be wearing and I wonder if I’m helping them or hindering them. I also shelter them from some of the toys right now – Barbie, Petshop stuff (to a degree), anything Bratz (growl – NEVER). Am I sheltering them too much?

In some ways, I’m glad they’re learning and experiencing “real life” stuff, but on the other hand, I want them to be creative and imaginative and be able to do things on their own for longer than 5 minutes. In some ways I don’t feel like I relate to them very well. As a kid, I spent HOURS playing by myself, maybe not at this very young age, but just a bit older than this, I would create whole lives for my dolls, play house with friends or my brother, build with Legos for hours, create adventures camping etc, I played with baby dolls a lot. That’s what I remember playing as a kid, and so I’m not sure how to related to what my girls are looking for in play. I have to stop myself from buying things just because I think they are “classic” toys, or under the pretense that they SHOULD be interested in this kind of toy or MIGHT become interested in that kind of toy.

Anyway… I guess I should re-title this – “Musings on my Kids Play Habits”. And of course, if I try to get rid of anything, even under stealth, it will suddenly become “THE THING WE CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT!”. Sigh. I guess I’ll keep picking through things, censoring myself from buying things and try to be more observant of what my kids really want and need.

Potty Training 101

2009-03-30T12:43:00.001-04:00

Yesterday was the BIG DAY. The day to POTTY TRAIN Baboo, aka “The Diaper Shedding Bandit”.

I borrowed the “Potty Train in 1 Day” video from the library, watched it 3 times and took notes. I stocked up on training panties, snacks/ treats/drinks, bought a fancy new big girl sip cup and got out our “peeing” baby doll. Hubster planned a movie/lunch date with Mouse so that I could have most of the day to just work with Baboo.

After Hubster and Mouse left, Baboo and I “trained” the baby to go potty. I had made panties for it by cutting holes in the seams of some old baby booties I had (worked great, by the way, well enough to convince my 2 year old). “Baby” did well, with only 1 accident that required the “wet pants, hurry, hurry” potty practice drill as per the dvd videos. “Baby” did so well that she got a treat and we proclaimed her a “BIG GIRL” now.

Then it was Baboo’s turn. She’s worn panties before so this wasn’t something new. I plied her with water/juice/milk and snacks. Made a big deal out of the new cup and practiced going potty a few times. Within an hour, she had it down. She consumed snacks/drinks/m&ms and gummies all morning. We read books, played with blocks and just were quiet. She went potty many times. She even started going on her own, without me prompting her.

She almost pooped her pants, but we caught it in time and had to celebrate with a few m&ms! Whoo!

Nap time went well, with just a bit of a wet pull up.

And, despite my worries, when she was playing with Mouse last night, she stopped and went potty when she needed to. No accidents ALL day.

Bed time was tough. She kept wanting to take her stuff off and did actually go potty a few times. We did have to change the pull ups a few time because they were a bit wet and it took her a while to settle down.

Today, she had her well child visit at the doctors. I was going to put her in a pull up, but decided against it. She wore big girl panties and again… no accidents. She did ask to go potty oh, about a dozen times, but she did go just about every time. I’m ok with that. Reinforce that we’re taking her seriously.

So, all in all, I’m very pleased with her progress. I do ask her to check her undies a few times a day, just to remind her about the potty. I know that there will be accidents, and I’m ok with that. And I don’t expect her to be dry over night either. This is good considering she’s only 2.

She’s very proud of herself and that’s the big thing. She loves that she can do it “by my self!” and that’s what it’s all about.

URINE-SANE

2009-03-24T14:47:00.003-04:00

Maybe “YOU’RE” not, but I am. I’m drowning; drowning in pee, and laundry covered in pee.

Baboo has turned into the Diaper Shedding Bandit on top of WAKING UP 2 last week (that’s a whole ‘nother post) and I’m going crazy. Seriously. Every time I turn my back for 2 seconds, she is taking her diaper off and then summarily peeing all over the floor or a bed somewhere. Nap time yesterday was a nightmare with 5 diaper changes in an hour and a half. And 2 at bed time (with the expensive night time diapers with liners) and several more accidents on the floor in the afternoon.

Sometimes we get lucky and she’ll pee in the potty, but we have way more misses than hits. Way more. We’ve tried pull ups and we’ve tried just plain undies with no difference. It doesn’t seem to matter.

I’ve asked her NOT to take it off, demanded that she not take it off, and she looks at me and says “Ok, Mama” and then proceeds to do it anyway. ARGH. Then she asks me “You happy, Mama?”. Uh.. no. Not exactly as I clean up more pee. What’s funny is that when she takes the diaper off, she puts it in the garbage and goes to get another one. I wouldn’t really care if she could get it on and not make a mess, but well… she’s 2.

This morning, after I hear “Moooom, Baboo took her diaper off again”, and before I completely snapped, I resorted to bribery. Baboo LOVES m&m’s and I happened to have some left over from her cake. I filled 2 jars (with tight fitting lids because I know she’ll try to get into them) and showed them to her. I said – “if you put the pee in the potty, you can have an m&m” and then placed the colourful jar within her view. She said “right now?” And I said YES… even at 8 am. She sat down and tried to pee, but nothing. But she really tried, so I gave her one to show I was serious. She tried again later, made it and I rewarded her with praise and an m&m. And then she started asking every 2 seconds for them. And then Mouse wanted to know if SHE could have m&m’s every time Baboo got one. We have not gone pee on the potty again today, BUT we've had 2 accidents on the floor and 3 changes of clothes. Uh yeah.

Sigh. I think that bribery is going to backfire on me big time.

Anyway, I don’t know if she’s really READY for potty training, though I had thought that we would try it more intensively next week while Mouse is out on spring break. It will mean that I do nothing else except shadow her everywhere so I can catch the pee-pee moments and encourage her with positive reinforcements instead of trying not to have an aneurysm every time she does this. I don’t want to “punish” her, but I’m not really sure how to deal with this.

Any suggestions? Please! Help! Throw a book! Throw some towels! Throw some advice! Throw a life boat!

Smack down

2009-03-22T19:52:00.005-04:00

So tonight, the girls are sitting at the little table in the kitchen, that I've yet to move back to the playroom after the party last weekend (and maybe I won't as they seem to enjoy it so much... but uh, I'm sidetracking myself)... and having a snack before bed.

They're chatting and kind of playing around and I'm not really paying too much attention. That is, until I hear:

Mouse: Baboo, let's play a game.

Baboo: OK! I like games!

Mouse: It's called Spider Smacker. You be the spider and I'll be the smacker! Put your hand out on the table and pretend to be a spider. And then I'll SMACK you!

Baboo: Uh.... I dwink my miwk. (slurp, slurp her milk)

Fortunately, there's no follow up smacking sounds or crying for that matter. I'm hoping it was Baboo's self-preservation instinct that kicked in and stopped her from getting whacked and not just an misunderstanding of the game.

After I stopped silently laughing behind the counter with tears running down my face, I reminded Mouse that hitting of ANY kind is not allowed. Not even disguised as a game. Oy.

I guess this is a reflection of what we do to spiders in the house around here. Sorry, Becprints. I know one day karma will turn me into the bug headed for the windshield.